Snooping

Not good 😢
I laid down to take a quick nap today and left my phone on the coffee table in the living room where Aries was watching tv.He snooped through my cell phone and admitted to it. I'm glad he came clean but he invaded my privacy. There is nothing for him to wonder about and there was nothing for him to look at that would have caused a fight. I asked him what he thought he'd find. He said he didn't know he just thought he'd look. He said he kinda felt bad for doing it knowing how private a person I was and that is why he came clean. I'm trying really hard not to make a big deal about it but it's really bothering me. What the hell was he thinking?!?!
I didn't blow up on him. I honestly didn't let it sink in yet. I'm sure I'm over analizing but he was acting so guilty I know he knows he did something wrong plus he and I had discussed the privacy thing before my phone and my "memory box" with all my keepsakes and my journals are the only thing off limits. Those are MY things and nobody is to be in that stuff. He knew the rules.
I just told him I was a little hurt and left it at that. 😢 Oh man!

He has off limits things too. We had talk about it before and he knew the rules. He admitted to being wrong. I just don't get what I did to make him want to snoop. I have trust issues anyway. He's not helping.

The major issue I have is he KNOWS that I'm a private person and he knowingly crossed a line. It's not like I kept it a secret. I'm wondering if he respects that about me and if he's accepting that there are a few things that I don't share with anyone.

Not good indeed. When caught with my hand in the cookie jar, I come clean. And for all purposes he has admitted fault, knowingly trespassing on your privacy, and feeling remorse for it...but it does sound like he might have some unresolved doubt he might be struggling with...

The best way to put an Aries guy at ease is to give him the permission to admit something foolish reason (no matter how crazy, insignificant, insecure) without fear of punishment or reprimand. State that you want to preserve the trust between you guys and that if he ever wanted to ask you anything, you would give him an honest answer without getting mad at him.

If he still doesn't say anything, be sure to offer reassurance that he is your number 1 and stroke his ego a bit...when he feels like he won't lose any pride admitting something...it makes it easier.

I would only do those things if this is not the first time he has snooped. If it is the first time, just forget about it...that is your show of confidence in him. Lead by example.

...my longest relationship of multiple years was with an Aries guy BTW...so I guess I've learned how to deal with them after a while.

Posted by sunny ram
And in his eyes, you're hurting his feelings by not being open and honest and sharing everything about you. That's how we Aries are. It's not about being snoopy, but feeling excluded by our significant other for not letting us in on their lives. This is why Scorpio and Aries pairing rarely work out.

yep yep

Yeah password protection is important. But for me, that would be just giving up on trust...letting a machine keep him honest. IDK

Well I'm trying to shrug it off since he came clean. I take a little offense to those saying I'm hurting him by hiding things from him. I'm not and he's the one who snuck a look at my phone only to find nothing worth doing it in the first place. I have nothing to prove to him. He and I have always been very honest with each other and if he wanted to look at my phone he KNOWS he could have asked and I would have handed it over. Honestly I never thought he would have asked but if it was going to cause an issue I would have done it since he was upfront about wanting to look.
Being the way I am now I'm a tad paranoid that he has went through my things without me knowing and not mentioned it. I'm probably being paranoid but I can't help but wonder. I spent the afternoon going through my personal things and putting them all in a trunk and locking it up 😢 I hate that!!! He saw what I was doing but he didn't make a comment. I think he's gotten past it.
I feel really icky. Like I've been invaded or something. I'm trying so hard not to let it get to me and of course I'm hiding it from him how I feel. It would make for a bigger issue if I confronted him more. I know what he'd say "I apologized, I meant it, let it go". It'll take some time. *sigh*
Thanks for the replys. I'm not going to lock up my phone since I have nothing to hide. I shouldn't have to do that anyways!! I just wish he'd respect our differences and accept me for who I am like I accept him for who he is. It's not like "the rules" are just MINE. We layed it all out to avoid these situations. We know how different we are and we actually admire (so I thought) each other for those differences.
I'm making a bigger deal out of it that it needs to be but damn! A Scorps privacy is something you don't fuck with!

Maybe he is an insecure type and needed to invade your privacy a bit to see wuz up with your hidden side but since y'all are sharing your lives together its almost impossible not to uhh how do I put this?? not to come clean about your previous histories > both of you that is for example what if u two had collections from back when you were in school > what then??

Robin... He and I know each other very well. We went to high school together 🙂 Our class was super tiny so we all basically grew up together. He knew everything about me before we ever started dating.
I never saw him as insecure. That is why it's so puzzling. I don't know where it came from.
We'd had a discussion before about me and having parts of me that I don't share. He said it was ok because that was who I was. I'd never try to change the things that I'm not too crazy about when it comes to him because I want him to be who he is. He has things that he won't share with me about his military service. I don't even ask to know these things. I know better.
He should have known better.

Gingerscorp: "He should have known better."


And that is the real issue ^^^^^^^


You say that he should have known better .... when in reality, what you mean is ..

... he DOES know better.


He knows better, KNOWS .. and did it anyway ... that why he felt guilty. If it were that he "should" have known better, then he wouldn't be feeling bad becuase it would have been something he only "should" have known.

No .. he KNEW, KNEW better ... and did it anyway.

If you let him slide, then it will give him the message that it's ok to disrespect something that is important to you .... sure, you'll bitch, moan, stomp your feet and all .. but, you'll blow it off without any consequences.


If you ignore it ... then it is a green light to him .. give an Aries a fraction of smigdeon of a resemblence of an inch ... and they will take it to the very extreme. They are explorers you know .. and this means everything >>> even how far you can be pushed beyong your limits.


Good luck.

how did you find out that he snooped? did he tell you right after you napped or did you ask him if he snooped since your phone was left out?

i don't think aries get upset because they dont know "everything" and i don't believe that's why he snooped. 99.9% of the time the thought of snooping doesn't even cross my mind unless somebody goes out of their way to tell me repeatedly not to look in a drawer or to not do something. tell me not to do something and the first thing i do when you walk out the room is exactly what you said not to, not because im being malicious or untrusting or sneaky but because...i dunno...just because. it's like that study psychologists do on children when they put a piece of candy in front of the kid and tell them not to eat it when they leave the room and the second the adult leaves the kid eats the candy but confesses when the adult returns.

sorry this had to happen to you ginger. i don't think he was trying to hurt you but you shouldn't try to not make a big deal about something that you genuinely find a big deal.

Ewe... he told me when I woke up. He said he was sorry he did something stupid and then told me. I was like Um... wow.
I wonder now if he wasn't challanging me to see how far he could get without me snapping. If that's the case then Ok I'm cool with it. I'm up for it. Power struggles are fine in my book and can be fun 🙂 And of course I'll win. Silly Aries! 😛
But if he did it because he suspected me of something REALLY not cool. I've done nothing to make his suspect me of anything. He's been by my side literally for the past month in a half. I rarely talk on the phone and when I do it IN FRONT of him. Hell, if there is a number calling my phone I don't reconize I ask him if he knows who it is, read off the number or I make him answer it.
Eh... it's past and we've been getting along well. I'm taking a trip with friends this weekend and part of me wonders if that wasn't the cause of it and if it is then he's silly and stupid. If he want's to be an insecure ninny then I'll treat him accordingly. It's not like I never go out of my way to tell him I love him or how much he means to me. He knows.
I'm past it for now but if he snoops again you bet I'll bring out the ammo and let him have it. I'm not about to let him make a habit of this. My shit is my shit and unless he has permission it's hands off.

Hey Mel! I've missed ya! Anywho. I haven't read all the comments or advice given out... you know me lazy Aries. I can only give you this through my perspective. Personally, most Aries I know including myself we have a child-like side to us and if I'm guessing correctly he looked out of pure curiosity. P-Angel's right he knows better. But sometimes knowing you're not allowed to do something, makes you want to do it even more. Personally, I've never snooped through a bf's phone, but than again there were never restrictions not too. In some ways I'm sure he was pushing to see where his boundaries were with you, like a kid. So, (I'm sure you did this) make sure you communicate to him what he did was wrong, and once only and forget about it.

You know Aries are very honest, but for me also I'm VERY trusting, so I'm sure if it had to do with some trust issues than you would have heard of it by now. I'm sure he trusts you 100% , but I'm even more sure curiosity got the better of him.

Posted by Gingerscorp
Not good 😢
I laid down to take a quick nap today and left my phone on the coffee table in the living room where Aries was watching tv.He snooped through my cell phone and admitted to it. I'm glad he came clean but he invaded my privacy. There is nothing for him to wonder about and there was nothing for him to look at that would have caused a fight. I asked him what he thought he'd find. He said he didn't know he just thought he'd look. He said he kinda felt bad for doing it knowing how private a person I was and that is why he came clean. I'm trying really hard not to make a big deal about it but it's really bothering me. What the hell was he thinking?!?!
I didn't blow up on him. I honestly didn't let it sink in yet. I'm sure I'm over analizing but he was acting so guilty I know he knows he did something wrong plus he and I had discussed the privacy thing before my phone and my "memory box" with all my keepsakes and my journals are the only thing off limits. Those are MY things and nobody is to be in that stuff. He knew the rules.
I just told him I was a little hurt and left it at that. 😢 Oh man!

LOL!!! Oh man indeed
Dudes do this a LOT! Like when they say they wanna play a game on ur fone, or ask little questions like 'who was that?' I've had similar from aqua, gemini, aries and libra dudes...
Unfortunately for both of you Nov_Sco, you're a scorp! 😛
First things first, why did he do it?, is the question. If you are a private scorp that doesn't open up even in relationships, then this is gonna be a major issue with an aries --- hell it will be for most people you're in a relationship with. But speaking from aries pov, they will feel left out leading to insecurity leading to them going off and living a seperate life from you (potential detachment).

Continuing from an aries POV, the fone was there, he peeked at it, it's new gadget, WOW - then oh crap, you wouldn't like that, he fessed up...
If he did it out of insecurity or mistrust, you will NEVER find out. It will be his secret. If aries snoops, you won't know... the adventurous nature is interpreted as snooping with especially water and fixed signs - I have the same prob with cancer, pisces, scorp, aqua, leo, taurus --- there are questions I will come out and ask a gemini, libra, aries, sag, point blank and they'll give me an equally flippant response, but there I questions I DARE not

ask water or fixed signs as my loyalty will be questioned severely --- virgo and cap may laugh aries off 🙂 we just take different things seriously, it's not personally about disrespecting -- it's just that 'what you put value on is different for each sign'. Just because you put value on something, it is not realistic to expect all around you 100% of the time to remember all your valued.

The more paranoid you are about this, the more likely he will get suspicious because guess what he may start thinking, 'oh here, i leave my fone, she can look at it, why is she hiding hers?'. He knows how seriously you take it, hence he came out with it, do you wanna stress this issue some more?

Good luck.

And in his eyes, you're hurting his feelings by not being open and honest and sharing everything about you. That's how we Aries are. It's not about being snoopy, but feeling excluded by our significant other for not letting us in on their lives. This is why Scorpio and Aries pairing rarely work out. this is indeed true as it is the reason I can't seem to be around scorp for long... the barriers are too much for me to remember

i don't think they get the concept of privacy cos they take the view that you can't possibly have anything to hide......can you?