Was this Aries just playing me?

This topic was created in the Aries forum by eirealainn on Wednesday, January 14, 2015 and has 16 replies.
We met in August. He said he wasn't looking for anything serious because he just got out of a relationship. I said I wasn't either for the same reason. We talked every day, sometimes on the phone for hours and meet up about two times a week. I really liked him but inside was unsure if he and I would work as a couple, plus I carried around the fact that he didn't want one.
October - We're out bowling and I get a bad text from my mom. He looks over my shoulder and I pull away. He is clearly in a bad mood on the drive to mine and before I leave, says I have to tell him if I'm seeing other guys. He says he wouldn't like the thought of me seeing other guys BUT the fact is we're having sex w/o condoms and just the pill, so he needs to know. I reassure him it was just my mom.
Then he mentions a week later that we don't have sex with anyone else and we talk a lot to each other- we weren't fuck buddies so what would I call us? I said I guess we're friends with benefits. Keep in mind he still alludes to the fact he's not looking for anything serious. I'm a very sensitive person so obviously this was the chance for me to say I wanted him as a boyfriend but I was shit scared. Besides, he sort of agrees with my answer.
November - He matches with one of my coworkers on Tinder and she shows me. I confront him and he promises to delete it. I finally say to him a few days after my birthday that I need to look for a serious relationship and I know he doesn't want one. He says at one point he started having serious feelings for me and that what we were doing was kind of "dangerous". We agree to be platonic friends. We hang out about two more times in the next two weeks and both times he says he's finding it hard to not kiss me or be physical.
December - On our third time hanging out as just friends, we just have sex. I give in because I'm very very attracted to him. He reveals he thought the real reason I said I wanted to be strictly platonic friends was because I found someone else. I say no, I just started to like him so much that it hurt me to pretend we were just friends with benefits.
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And then now... I keep nagging him about how he??s been different for like the past month. He just not the same. He acts like he doesn??t care. He said yes he??s scaled back because he knows one day I will find someone and I??ll just leave. And that it??s hard to just lose someone like that. So he said yeah, our aura has been off. Let??s just be like how you said back in November. I said I'm sorry but I don??t think that??s gonna work. I can??t be just strictly friends with you. He said maybe it wouldn't work out again and we'll end up having sex again. I said I just can't switch to friends and that it's going to take me some time. He said ok I??l leave you to contact me then. Even though I complained about him a lot it was because I was so frustrated and hurt. Hurt that I liked someone so much who wouldn??t go out on a limb for me. How the hell could of gone out on a limb for him? When many times he??s said he??s not looking for anything serious. It doesn??t matter if he said he loves talking to me, hanging out and that the sex is great. He said there are feelings in it and that we have chemistry. YET he said he??s not looking for anything serious.
Any insight on this would be great. Because even though it seems unhealthy on the outside, which it is, I deeply feel that I have a huge hole in my life right now. I don't know whether to never contact him again or not. This sucks.
PS He's Aries Sun, Capricorn Moon, Aqua Venus & Mars
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Sounds like what I am going through but at least he doesn't have Venus in Gemini. I have am a Taurus with Aquarius moon I am possessive by nature. I attract many people.. I bet he does too..
Aquarius are an air element too. Meaning great mental connection and sex is what's going to stimulate between you guys.. you may put more out than what you think you need to. All you need is communications and honesty, but he is so silent.. you have initiate everything..
I don't think that's fair, but that Capricorn moon is an earthy slow type of element..and its constantly slowing the Aquarius sides of him.. so its like wishy washy..mars and venus in Aquarius wants instant gratification..so just spark conversations that are interesting and talk...the sex will come when he is ready too..
It also means alot of female friends on the side...he also stated he just got out of a relationship and to go with the flow..stated he was . He likes you and flirts with you..and the tiniest emotion he switch topics instantly. He is single be careful sweetheart. I am suppose to tell you to do your own thing and chase him. Bullshit..i guess
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At least you got him to go out with you on a date.. lol seriously though..the only reason I talk to him and how I met him is at work. Six months ticking no date. Good luck back off.. if he's interested he'll come.
But guess what your smart and you'll find someone else for you. Me its hard I hold on to things. But piss me off and constantly nagging when your going to call.. I'm just your friend from the start and it's my fault cause he's single and not ready for seriousness. And not sure if I can or you should put up with the hot and cold games.
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Sorry, but you're the moron who labeled it "fwb" which, by the way, IS fuck buddies. Wtf.
Neither of you know what the hell you want. Deal with it. It's not all him, it's you, too.
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Oh ok..sex is such a mind fuck. I rather be single and be friends for a long time before I spread my legs. That way the red flags get recognized before sex..And it's what I am doing presently..thanks to people's advice..
Given the fact I am not aware of Capricorn moon. I feel Taurus and Capricorn are similar in that we are earth elements kinda pertains to have certain views like with not really having fwb and will wait forever and practical reasoning. Yeah we all want fun and can detach but emotions and endorphins set in and well we want sex..
I do have Capricorn descendants and if were me I wouldn't be clingy too much as it just creates drama. I also met a few Capricorn males and all of them were working full time and extra shifts, but all of them contacted me every day just to say hi. Unfortunately some males I didn't meet cause both of our schedules were busy.. cool peeps though.
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Trust me aries have agendas but not sure if your apart of it or not..lol..they will tell you the truth about whether or not what they want. They are picky. And can be direct and it seems if you bow down you get to have sex with them when convenient. When they want to. If not them move on sort of speak.
See my friend is aries with Taurus moon.. so I just kinda related Capricorn moon with Taurus moon kinda similar..
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So some can handle their bullshit and some can't.. only you know if you want to play along with them either for short terms flings or long term..only those close to aries can assume agendas with you are in play..to go with the free spirit and let them do whatever they want, cause if you are the one they make it know. And make it know if you are not either..
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Posted by Rambunctious76
Posted by eirealainn
And then now... I keep nagging him about how he??s been different for like the past month. He just not the same. He acts like he doesn??t care. He said yes he??s scaled back because he knows one day I will find someone and I??ll just leave. And that it??s hard to just lose someone like that. So he said yeah, our aura has been off. Let??s just be like how you said back in November. I said I'm sorry but I don??t think that??s gonna work. I can??t be just strictly friends with you. He said maybe it wouldn't work out again and we'll end up having sex again. I said I just can't switch to friends and that it's going to take me some time. He said ok I??l leave you to contact me then. Even though I complained about him a lot it was because I was so frustrated and hurt. Hurt that I liked someone so much who wouldn??t go out on a limb for me. How the hell could of gone out on a limb for him? When many times he??s said he??s not looking for anything serious. It doesn??t matter if he said he loves talking to me, hanging out and that the sex is great. He said there are feelings in it and that we have chemistry. YET he said he??s not looking for anything serious.
Any insight on this would be great. Because even though it seems unhealthy on the outside, which it is, I deeply feel that I have a huge hole in my life right now. I don't know whether to never contact him again or not. This sucks.
PS He's Aries Sun, Capricorn Moon, Aqua Venus & Mars


So you never asked him to be your boyfriend? That you want a more serious relationship?
He scaled back and seemed like he doesn't care because you probably seem like you didn't want anything serious either. He's detaching himself from you emotionally.
I don't have a Cap moon, but I was like that with my last ex during the initial stages of our dating process. But then she pushed, and things got serious. If she hadn't pushed, I would have remained detached.
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That's why today I'm laying it all out on the table for him. I'm just gonna tell him how much I care about him. I don't want to scare him at the same time. It runs deep... his brother has been in jail since he was little and I remember once there was something on tv about prisons. I casually mentioned to my sister'
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husband that his brother was in jail and then I just started crying. I only want the best for him in life and I want him to be happy. But I also have to take care of myself and stop playing games like I just see him as a friend who I have sex with.
This is really hard for me though.. .on some websites I'm Gemini moon, on others.. Cancer :/
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Posted by FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428
Trust me aries have agendas but not sure if your apart of it or not..lol..they will tell you the truth about whether or not what they want. They are picky. And can be direct and it seems if you bow down you get to have sex with them when convenient. When they want to. If not them move on sort of speak.
See my friend is aries with Taurus moon.. so I just kinda related Capricorn moon with Taurus moon kinda similar..


But basically we had a relationship but we never labelled it. Regardless of what he said he was looking for, he already had something with me. It bothers me that I didn't just come out and say it myself.
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Posted by eirealainn
We met in August. He said he wasn't looking for anything serious because he just got out of a relationship. I said I wasn't either for the same reason.We talked every day, sometimes on the phone for hours and meet up about two times a week. I really liked him but inside was unsure if he and I would work as a couple, plus I carried around the fact that he didn't want one.



Glaring answer in bold
Posted by eirealainn

But basically we had a relationship but we never labelled it. Regardless of what he said he was looking for, he already had something with me. It bothers me that I didn't just come out and say it myself




The relationship on his end is not serious and is one where he doesn't want an STI from having unprotected sex. You have more than friendship feelings, he does not want a relationship. He was upfront about that and is physically attracted but not emotionally invested in you. You care more than he does
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Ouch sounds similar to what I am going through. I hate my emotions they are powerful. I was told by my friend to go with the flow.. and I even got the I like you bit. Which to me is confusing and only hurting myself..And I don't have time to deal with it. Because I am the serious one; you are the serious one. And he is more light hearted with everything because he is single and enjoying life without someone on his hip.
I got to distance myself; you got to distance yourself, or I am the one regretting it, or you are regretting it too. But I am learning not to involve anyone you work with though and I did like a fool. So try to distance yourself, ignore him , and move on just be friends if you can. No sex though. Like its the best thing to set yourself free cause you don't have to stress any longer..That's the good feeling.
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Never chase a ram especially a male Aries. It turns us off and makes us feel like you're trying to force us into something. I think when he asked you about what you would call your relationship, he wanted to know what you saw it as, and you said friends with benefits so he took that answer. Had you been upfront with him at that moment, I feel that he would've considered a serious relationship with you. Aries like to drop hints when we want something but are not sure the other person is on board. I'm an Aries sun Capricorn ascendant. So if you want a relationship let him know but don't wait on him to come around. Do your own thing and meet other people, give him time and space and a little attention every now and then while being upfront about what you want. Do not waiver with a ram! We are like sharks and weakness is like blood in the water for us. We will use you if you seem weak or needy (sometimes it's just a subconscious thing and we don't really mean to hurt people, but it happens). Just stand firm and do your own thing and don't worry about him right now. He's single, he's probably playing the field now, so be patient and your confidence and character will outshine the rest.
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Thanks for the advice smile I'm happy now because we talked and he said the feelings are just as strong but the fact is he has trust issues from his previous relationship 6 months ago and that I am most likely moving state for college in the fall. It will be much harder to detach then and we both don't think we could ever be in a long distance relationship, with anyone. I said to him one day I hope we can be friends and he said he knows it will take time and he will be there whenever I'm ready.
Since I still like him so much right now I'm scared to think we will totally drift apart.
I have to remember NOT to give in an invite him to hang out in a few weeks or a month when I'm feeling better, because I know I won't be able to resist him.
Capricorn moons are VERY guarded! Just like Cancer moons.
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he's 24, i'm 22
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