What is with this Aries man?

This topic was created in the Aries forum by Illusen on Tuesday, March 18, 2014 and has 12 replies.
We spent a few days, working together last year. He had invited me to help him out as an assistant, and I was more than happy.
I was worried he hated me after a few hours because he just did not like anybody and I figured, why should I be different? But he spent all this time telling me I was awesome and trying to get me to leave my boyfriend for his friend. I kind of let it slide because he had good reasons.
But when I broke up with my boyfriend and said I was considering asking his friend out to lunch, he just said he wasn't interested in dating. I felt kind of manipulated.
Now, whenever he sees me with a guy, he and his friend are really mean to them. Even if they thought whomever my friend was, was ok to begin with, they just hate on them.
But then this Aries guy is also really mean to me. Until I get pissed off at him and then he's all nice and sincere again. He lets me in closer than the other people he talks to at work. But he also seems more openly mean to me whenever his friend is around.
What the hell, Aries???
Sounds like an unevolved assshole to me. Don't think to much about it... he seems like the kind of person (with his friend) who pray on the weak to boost his ego. You have to put him in his place and mean it or you'll have he SAME problem my sister did, a man constantly mean and always picking on her. This was a guy at her work and he was just a dickk.
Don't stand for it... the best way to put them in their place is make them feel bad... though you have to really know the guy and know what really ticks him to be able to do that or else he could be a sociopath with no emotions or empathy and just doesn't give a fuck... in that case I would just act like he never existed.
I normally don't take no-one's nonsense. He actually taught me that. The thing is, he's been super kind to me. He goes out of his way to help me, but then is mean. That's where I don't know. I feel like I owe him. So I was going to go to where we know each other from, and not let him help me. That will be the first thing. Then, I won't feel bad if I need to tell him he's being a dick. He knows I get angry at him sometimes, but that I feel that I can't say anything, because he seems me take it out on others, who do the same stuff he does - or try to - and he has apologised.
It's all just push and pull and I wondered if he was having trouble, trying to communicate that I was doing something wrong, or if he had some kind of issue with me, or if he really is just being oddly mean.
Just seems a weird way to go about being mean. Helping someone as much as he's helped me...
Sooo because you feel like you have some sort of imaginary debt to him, you think you owe him your time and consideration despite his shitty behavior?
Oh, okay.
I didn't mean for it to come off like that. I just try to be understanding of people. But I'm starting to think maybe I should just ignore. Which is a shame, because he can be very cool when he's not being a bully. I just don't get it. Which is rare.
Though the friend is kind of a bit wearying. I will say. Tongue
You feel indebted to him, but also consider that the help was extended willingly on his part. (Unless you're always asking for favors which I should think is not the case?)
Posted by Illusen
So I was going to go to where we know each other from, and not let him help me. That will be the first thing. Then, I won't feel bad if I need to tell him he's being a dick. He knows I get angry at him sometimes, but that I feel that I can't say anything, because he seems me take it out on others, who do the same stuff he does - or try to - and he has apologised.


Yes, do that.
You're really nice to think of the rest. But you can't control him not being a prick, he will vent his frustrations on others regardless of whether you're angry with him or not. A jerk's a jerk.
I don't ask. He just seems to look out for me, is all. But then yeah. He gets rude to me as well.
Right. I will tell him what I think of this, the next time it comes up. It's thanks to him that I have all this confidence now, because he set the wheels in motion for me to find my way. It seems sadly, though somewhat comedically ironic that his teachings should be the thing that renders him obsolete from my life.
Posted by Illusen
I didn't mean for it to come off like that. I just try to be understanding of people. But I'm starting to think maybe I should just ignore. Which is a shame, because he can be very cool when he's not being a bully. I just don't get it. Which is rare.
Though the friend is kind of a bit wearying. I will say. Tongue


It's fine to try to understand, but your need to understand is now crossing over into allowing yourself to be treated badly by some immature asshat. Not cool.
Is he your boss? You mentioned assistant.
Because I think you might be misinterpreting the whole situation.
Whatever his mindset though, ignore him and his friend. You're in a professional environment, do not let your humanity shine through and don't befriend these people. Keep them separate from your private life.
Just ignore the fuck and go on with your daily life/activities. Not worth it.
Don't go earth sign mode...oh I think I owe him smthg because he was so nice at the beginning. People play us with this a lot. We see someone nice and when they turn douchebag, we still cling to the fucking nice idea.
Posted by Damnata
Is he your boss? You mentioned assistant.
Because I think you might be misinterpreting the whole situation.
Whatever his mindset though, ignore him and his friend. You're in a professional environment, do not let your humanity shine through and don't befriend these people. Keep them separate from your private life.


Not my boss. I was just asked to help out for a few days, as a favour, after his friend and I got on quite well. Thankfully, no professional ties at all smile
Posted by Damnata
Just ignore the fuck and go on with your daily life/activities. Not worth it.
Don't go earth sign mode...oh I think I owe him smthg because he was so nice at the beginning. People play us with this a lot. We see someone nice and when they turn douchebag, we still cling to the fucking nice idea.


Oh this speaks so much truth^^