A Question..

This topic was created in the Astrology forum by itsnoteasybeingavirgo on Tuesday, April 16, 2013 and has 24 replies.
If someone's behavior is good to you but offensive with others then what will you do?
1. Take his side for all of his wrongs as he is good to you.
2. Take stand for others and try to convince him to change his behavior with others.
3. Become Neutral
Don't forget to mention your Zodiac Sign.
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Nops.. I've observed people being biased towards those who are good to them, no matter how abusive their behavior is with others. This question is like a survey question to see which zodiac sign behave in what way.. smile
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Posted by coolcappy
But I know as Virgo which you are smile you'd choose often number 2 Tongue which pisses me off when mine does Crying and can't understand why!?


Yes, I have had HUGE fights with people I love A LOT on the issue that they did wrong with someone who was totally stranger to me..
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Posted by coolcappy
Posted by itsnoteasybeingavirgo
Posted by coolcappy
But I know as Virgo which you are smile you'd choose often number 2 Tongue which pisses me off when mine does Crying and can't understand why!?


Yes, I have had HUGE fights with people I love A LOT on the issue that they did wrong with someone who was totally stranger to me..


smile I know is the way virgos are!
But I don't get it, why? Why would you even care especially for the strangers! As to me the one that would matter most is the loved on. Plus to have major fights as well for a stranger is ridiculos in my eyes and unecessary as well. All the fights and exhaustion for nothing, the stranger is gone as fast as he/she came etc... but you and the loved one remain. Wouldn't be wiser to be 1 or even 3 in that case?
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It is not about who will stay and who will leave.. its not about reciprocation at all. It is about if I did the RIGHT thing or not? Any such situation is a test of my conscience in which the person I love is doing wrong and the person for whom I??ve no feeling at all (or sometimes I even had some bad experience with that person) is at right.
Believe me, my conscience will kill me from inside if I ever not take stand for the right.
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Posted by ninjafish
I tend to remain neutral if I like both involved unless I'm specifically dragged into it, then I'll have to go with who I agree with if by that stage I've formed a reasonably strong view of the situation. I really hate this shit though, people have done it to me all my life and even at uni at my bloody age I had two separate friends who were doing this (leo vs cap) who wanted me to choose sides; I just stopped going near either. Also have had ex's do this in relation to friends they didn't want me associating with.
Pisces, go figure eh?


is that only with friends? I distinctly remember you jumping to Real talks defense in the kissing forehead thread....you tried to come for me....and I hadnt ever said two words to you....so was that your way of telling me you dont like me?
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Posted by tiziani
They're only as nice as they are to the waiter.

Libra Sun.


Yes-- a thousand times, yes.
Great way to learn about someone you have just met.
smile

Posted by BalmyTigress
You can be loyal to a person and defend them against others even when you know they've been wrong. It's another issue to talk about it in private. If the person I love is constantly doing things that go against my integrity, then it's going to put a huge strain on the relationship.
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Yes-- good point. smile
And because of that, I would choose number one 1.-- in public.
I will not humiliate someone who is good to me in front of the people they are in conflict with-- that is damn near treasonous, imo.
In private, I would choose the second option-- lack of integrity doesn't sit well with me.
Unfortunately, we don't always get to see both sides, right away.
And you're right-- it does put a strain on the relationship, and I have had to back off of people before because of this.
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Oh! And I'm a LEO.
Tongue
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#2 - I like to boss and control people! hahahahaha!! Just kidding. That was a joke as caps are supposed to be controlling. Tongue
I suppose, for me, it really depends on the behavior/circumstance. I'd most likely be neutral and that would be my usual response and stance. But if he/she is treating someone absurdly rude and inappropriately, then I would have to say something and defend a total stranger. No one deserves to be treated that way. Other times, I might agree with him/her and have their back no matter what. So, really, it depends on what the situation is.
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Posted by coolcappy
Posted by BalmyTigress
I think the problem here is also that everyone is imagining different situations. My very first thought was being on a date with a person I don't know well and they are being arrogant or mean to the waiter or bitching about other people, judging others...and then turning to me and going "except you, you're perfect".
It's a different thing when you already love someone and you know that they can get a bit grumpy sometimes and bitch and moan about people who are annoying to them.
And yet again it's a different thing if there's an actual conflict going on.
It really depends on the situation which way I would go. But the bottom line is that how people treat others says much more about them than it does about the other people. How we conduct ourselves in different situations, how we act, what we say, it all reveals something about who we are.


I agree.
I also noticed often on this forum people's answers come from the point of view that many people's behaviour would be wrong and from a nasty side. I tend to see only the good sides in people. Guess I'm rosy. But it's because I've never actually been around bad characters and mean people. As I tend to probably stay well clear of them. I read people well before I'd even get to know them hence people who'd behave insanely and badly never even come close to me or better said me close to them. And hence I'd rarely imagine bad scenarios and bad treatment. I have never been around a person which would treat a waiter/waitress bad or with disrespect! Therefore I can't even imagine how I'd feel or who's side I'd take, what my reaction would be like and so on in that scenario etc...
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I'm pretty much like you. I will say on this site, people want opinions, they are going to get mine, honestly presented and I'll be very direct. I try to be nice, but sometimes I know they aren't going to like what I have to say. In real life, I'm pretty much the same but like you, I do avoid the drama queens/kings and the nasty people.
Now I have seen a waiter treated badly who was ignoring the customer and giving really rude and bad service. That waiter needed to be addressed and although the person did so rudely, I agreed with the dressing down, just could have been done more appropriately. I'm one who will not hesitate to hav
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I'm one who will not hesitate to have a word with the manager. Bad service needs to be addressed, but I will also have a word with them to make them aware of waiters who give amazing service. That needs to be aknowledged as well.
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1. who am i to try and change anyone other than myself? it's a dog-eat-dog kinda world Winking the moment they cross me though...that's a nope.
(leo sun, leo rising, cap moon)
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Posted by ninjafish
Posted by bkbella86
Posted by ninjafish
I tend to remain neutral if I like both involved unless I'm specifically dragged into it, then I'll have to go with who I agree with if by that stage I've formed a reasonably strong view of the situation. I really hate this shit though, people have done it to me all my life and even at uni at my bloody age I had two separate friends who were doing this (leo vs cap) who wanted me to choose sides; I just stopped going near either. Also have had ex's do this in relation to friends they didn't want me associating with.
Pisces, go figure eh?


is that only with friends? I distinctly remember you jumping to Real talks defense in the kissing forehead thread....you tried to come for me....and I hadnt ever said two words to you....so was that your way of telling me you dont like me?


You would have to refer me back to the thread so I could determine why (link?). Sorry if I've been hurtful though, I can let myself down sometimes with that, which is also why I clarified "tend to" in my first sentence above. I vaguely recall that thread and I think I just wasn't taking much very seriously at all, so I was probably being flippant with my comments. Sounds like I should regret it though, so I am sorry if it caused harm.
RealTalk is someone I like, but to answer your question I don't dislike you, I don't think you and I have interacted very much.
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YOu jumped to her defense " why would she lie about getting a forhead kiss" which wasnt called for as she was handling herself pretty well. SO only thing I could come up with was that you didnt like me. Also I have tried talking to you a few times and I dont remember you engaging me. your choice but I just wanted to know.
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I know a guy who appears offensive to others, and he really targets me. But I had a talk with him and now we just tease. In this scenario I would say try to convince others he is actually good.
Had to be an oddball
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Posted by ninjafish
(Con't)... We can all annoy one another at times, but anything you??ve stated which I haven??t liked would have been dealt with and gotten over in 2 minutes max, I assure you. I??m sorry if I??ve missed some things you??ve said though, I??ll try to pay more attention. I really don??t have a problem with you.


Shes lying! SHE'S LYING! Big Grin
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As someone mentioned that the problem here is that everyone is imagining different situations and thus have different perception so I would like to share few incidents in which I experience this situation..
My immediate boss at my office was very cordial with me and I was one of those people whom he considered as assets of his team and always acknowledged and reciprocated my efforts. One girl of who newly joined our team had an argument with him. It started actually from his end, he passed some personal comment on her as a joke on which she offended and retorted back and then both of them had argument with each other in front of everyone. Things settled down but strained relations between them were visible to everyone. After that, though reserved but she started working professionally and I was noticing that she was giving 100% and was really good in her job. But he kept grudge and started showing it on professional level shrewdly. Not giving importance to her ideas, rejecting his suggestions, delaying his assignments and so many other things that no one can claim that he is not abiding by any company's rule but everyone knows that he is deliberately giving mental torture and tough time to her. Well she was a daring and outspoken girl so she wrote a complain email to management who inquired about the matter by asking all the team members that if there is some reality in what she was claiming and complaining. Believe me everyone in the team either supported him or become neutral except me who take side and stand for that girl. Even she was amazed as she was not expecting this favor from me because we had a very formal relation. But that was the time I had to take stand for the right and I did it.
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(Con't)..
Another one..
My brother married a girl against the wishes of my mother. I was neutral on this matter and talked to her nicely but even then she was cold towards me as she might think that just like my mother, I also dislike her. But in real I actually think that she is very cute and nice girl and a better human being than my brother. He is lucky that he got her. Anyways, after about an year of their marriage they started having fights and one way she left the home. My brother was angry on her but heartbroken from inside so moved to live with us. And when he told the whole story to us our entire family including my mother, father and other brother took his side and were saying that he chose a wrong type of girl as his life partner, he deserve someone better than her. Only I was taking her side, and was justifying her behavior because being a girl I can empathize with her feelings and actions. I had a long discussion with my family in which I was telling them positives of her personality and telling my brother it was mainly your mistake because of which this happened. My family was totally amazed that why instead of your family, you are taking side of someone who always showed cold behavior to you. But I did what I believed was the RIGHT thing to do regardless of any desire for reciprocation because That's The Way I Am..
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Posted by itsnoteasybeingavirgo
(Con't)..
Another one..
My brother married a girl against the wishes of my mother. I was neutral on this matter and talked to her nicely but even then she was cold towards me as she might think that just like my mother, I also dislike her. But in real I actually think that she is very cute and nice girl and a better human being than my brother. He is lucky that he got her. Anyways, after about an year of their marriage they started having fights and one way she left the home. My brother was angry on her but heartbroken from inside so moved to live with us. And when he told the whole story to us our entire family including my mother, father and other brother took his side and were saying that he chose a wrong type of girl as his life partner, he deserve someone better than her. Only I was taking her side, and was justifying her behavior because being a girl I can empathize with her feelings and actions. I had a long discussion with my family in which I was telling them positives of her personality and telling my brother it was mainly your mistake because of which this happened. My family was totally amazed that why instead of your family, you are taking side of someone who always showed cold behavior to you. But I did what I believed was the RIGHT thing to do regardless of any desire for reciprocation because That's The Way I Am..


I like you :3
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Posted by coolcappy
itsnotsoeasy...
On both occasions I've have done exactly what you've done! But that's because I'm a woman and sometimes I'd get the fire whether others I can ignore. But under the spot light, just like in your case, I'd always go against the crowd, to such an extent that often I wonder whether I do it because I'm mad or want to be diffrent so badly than the rest or maybe because I'm the only one who sees things the right way... I don't know but I'm doing it. (friendships and love except family though as family I was never able to choose it myself but happened to get born in it, I usually choose 1 under any circumstance, as I can't be friends or love someone unless I see him/her rosy and in the best light, must have something to do with becoming blinded and irrational).
I'd also agrue with family on matters similar to the one you presented as I find family should never ever have anything to say about whom you choose as spouse nor when there are conflicts to take each other's side purely because they're same blood and ignore the truth!
I wish you said it from the start in which case I'd have agreed with you about nr 2.
My nr one choices would be only when things are actually light in comparison to what you just described.
I am stubborn as you and always chose the right and often although I hate arguments I'd get involved because I'm stubborn and stupid to which my virgo holds me back and disagrees as he'd very often ignore and choose 3. Especially in both circumstances you'd listed!
But there you go, caps and virgos are alike in many ways anyway. And when he's wrong I might be right and when I'm wrong he might be wrong etc...


I??m happy that you also like to act the same way as I did.. plus I don??t consider it disloyalty and believe that having dare to call a spade a spade and showing mirror to our near ones by telling them when they are wrong is actually good for them.. if we support someone for doing something wrong then in the long run we are actually doing wrong to that person..
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Posted by happykitsune
Posted by itsnoteasybeingavirgo
(Con't)..
Another one..
My brother married a girl against the wishes of my mother. I was neutral on this matter and talked to her nicely but even then she was cold towards me as she might think that just like my mother, I also dislike her. But in real I actually think that she is very cute and nice girl and a better human being than my brother. He is lucky that he got her. Anyways, after about an year of their marriage they started having fights and one way she left the home. My brother was angry on her but heartbroken from inside so moved to live with us. And when he told the whole story to us our entire family including my mother, father and other brother took his side and were saying that he chose a wrong type of girl as his life partner, he deserve someone better than her. Only I was taking her side, and was justifying her behavior because being a girl I can empathize with her feelings and actions. I had a long discussion with my family in which I was telling them positives of her personality and telling my brother it was mainly your mistake because of which this happened. My family was totally amazed that why instead of your family, you are taking side of someone who always showed cold behavior to you. But I did what I believed was the RIGHT thing to do regardless of any desire for reciprocation because That's The Way I Am..


I like you :3
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smile
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Posted by ninjafish
(Con't)... We can all annoy one another at times, but anything you??ve stated which I haven??t liked would have been dealt with and gotten over in 2 minutes max, I assure you. I??m sorry if I??ve missed some things you??ve said though, I??ll try to pay more attention. I really don??t have a problem with you.


I didnt feel attacked. I just dont understand your meed to chime in when it had nothing to do with you...myself and Real talk were arguing. "why would she lie", is a dumb question to ask on the internet. People lie al the time, why I have no clue but it happens. The only reason I called you out is because I felt your statement in this thread was inconsistent with your actions. I dont need your attention, esppecially since the only attention you have given me was negative. But thanx for clearing things up for me.
Moral of the story: YOu will defend those you like, doesnt matter if they are wrong or right.
FYI: It turns out Real talk was lying, her inconsistencies caught up with her later on in that thread.
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Posted by ninjafish
Dude you initially stated "you tried to come for me". All I said was "why would she lie about a forehead kiss" (the fact that I'm even having this discussion right now is making me lmao, btw) - in any case I don't see how that was "coming for you". If she was going to lie about something surely she'd stretch it a bit further than a forehead kiss ffs. Whatever man, my initial statement in this thread had more to do with people I'm intimately involved with, not petty online squabbles about forehead kisses (unless of course they involve people I have a lot to do with). The fact that the forehead kiss thing unravelled into the mess that it did was just hilarious for all watching.


still defending her....you must be her lawyer
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Posted by ninjafish
Dude you initially stated "you tried to come for me". All I said was "why would she lie about a forehead kiss" (the fact that I'm even having this discussion right now is making me lmao, btw) - in any case I don't see how that was "coming for you". If she was going to lie about something surely she'd stretch it a bit further than a forehead kiss ffs. Whatever man, my initial statement in this thread had more to do with people I'm intimately involved with, not petty online squabbles about forehead kisses (unless of course they involve people I have a lot to do with). The fact that the forehead kiss thing unravelled into the mess that it did was just hilarious for all watching.



and the person you had alot to deal with was involved (real talk)...thats why you jumped in.
Just reiterating what you just said.
glad I could make you laugh, ninja
good day

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Question it.keep neutral I would say you never know it could be you one day that this person switches on.keep your wits about you,only jump in if you know all the facts I think.my personal opinion.
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I would probably go with number 2 or 3 depending on the situation. I will not stick by someone who is trying to cause problems with others..
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