Sagmoon
@Sagmoon
16 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 5 · Topics: 1
Another cancer saga, help appreciated!
Yeah he's being a baby.
Yuck! He needs act like he has a penis rather then a vagina.
Yuck! He needs act like he has a penis rather then a vagina.
pathetic blah blah blah.
Obviously someone doesn't get my humor. 😛
Though I was only have joking. I stand by it. He's being a wuss. He's scared of losing her why? Because she has a life of her own that doesn't involve him 24/7? He's punishing her for hurting his feelings even after she reassured him. Blah... this is why I couldn't date a Cancer guy.
Obviously someone doesn't get my humor. 😛
Though I was only have joking. I stand by it. He's being a wuss. He's scared of losing her why? Because she has a life of her own that doesn't involve him 24/7? He's punishing her for hurting his feelings even after she reassured him. Blah... this is why I couldn't date a Cancer guy.
I meant I was only *half* joing. hehehe effing typos
I'm a Cancer male, so hopefully I can offer some advice. Here is the way I see it, from a Cancer point of view.
This cancer male had feelings for me for months, but never expressed it until I showed interest too.
- Makes sense. Cancers don't want to put themselves out their and make themselves vulnerable unless they are almost certain the feelings are mutual and they trust you a lot.
He said that he knew that he liked me from the first time that he saw me. So, we started dating, and he wanted to make it official even though i wanted to wait..but I caved bc we felt like we were soulmates, I guess. Even though I really liked him, I'm independent because of my Sag moon, and I have trouble expressing my feelings. He always was the one to put forth his feelings like sharing all his anxieties and the fear that has followed him around since the death of his father. I was always there to support him.
- It's good that you support him. We need to have someone that we can at least vent to and support us. You not opening up is not a good thing though. If we are putting are feelings out in the open, we need to see it reciprocated or we may think that the other person (you) doesn't trust us enough. This will then cause us to withdraw into our shell, and not be so open in the future.
Anyways, we were with eachother all the time, but one day I said that I needed a break just to do laundry and catch up with everything in my life...and that I wouldn't be spending the night with him. His face literally transformed and then for the rest of our lunch he was quiet and snippy.
- This sounds familiar. I smother girls with nearly constant attention, especially when we are first going out. This can easily be overwhelming for girls, and you may need some breathing room. I can understand how he could be offended by this, especially if he isn't that mature, or hasn't had a lot of quality relationships (ie. not high school, I don't think that counts as much as relationship when you're older). So he was offended, and got all crabby on you. Not much of a shocker if you know Cancer's well enough. 🙂
I confronted him on it and he said that in his past relationships, his gf's broke up with him out of the blue and without warning, and that he hasn't liked anyone for at least a year until he met me, and that he was really hurt by his past. Basically, he thought I was pulling away. I re-assured him no, and then everything was fine.
- Cancer hold on to th
This cancer male had feelings for me for months, but never expressed it until I showed interest too.
- Makes sense. Cancers don't want to put themselves out their and make themselves vulnerable unless they are almost certain the feelings are mutual and they trust you a lot.
He said that he knew that he liked me from the first time that he saw me. So, we started dating, and he wanted to make it official even though i wanted to wait..but I caved bc we felt like we were soulmates, I guess. Even though I really liked him, I'm independent because of my Sag moon, and I have trouble expressing my feelings. He always was the one to put forth his feelings like sharing all his anxieties and the fear that has followed him around since the death of his father. I was always there to support him.
- It's good that you support him. We need to have someone that we can at least vent to and support us. You not opening up is not a good thing though. If we are putting are feelings out in the open, we need to see it reciprocated or we may think that the other person (you) doesn't trust us enough. This will then cause us to withdraw into our shell, and not be so open in the future.
Anyways, we were with eachother all the time, but one day I said that I needed a break just to do laundry and catch up with everything in my life...and that I wouldn't be spending the night with him. His face literally transformed and then for the rest of our lunch he was quiet and snippy.
- This sounds familiar. I smother girls with nearly constant attention, especially when we are first going out. This can easily be overwhelming for girls, and you may need some breathing room. I can understand how he could be offended by this, especially if he isn't that mature, or hasn't had a lot of quality relationships (ie. not high school, I don't think that counts as much as relationship when you're older). So he was offended, and got all crabby on you. Not much of a shocker if you know Cancer's well enough. 🙂
I confronted him on it and he said that in his past relationships, his gf's broke up with him out of the blue and without warning, and that he hasn't liked anyone for at least a year until he met me, and that he was really hurt by his past. Basically, he thought I was pulling away. I re-assured him no, and then everything was fine.
- Cancer hold on to th
Message got chopped. Continued...
I confronted him on it and he said that in his past relationships, his gf's broke up with him out of the blue and without warning, and that he hasn't liked anyone for at least a year until he met me, and that he was really hurt by his past. Basically, he thought I was pulling away. I re-assured him no, and then everything was fine.
- Cancer hold on to the past and we use it to ground us, and rely on past experiences when handling present and future events. It took me a year to fully get over my first girlfriend of almost 4 years. Even after I was going out with my current gf for 6 months, I still wasn't fully over her, even though I thought I was. It takes time. So he has had all these past experiences where he was deeply hurt. He thought he saw the same thing coming here. It is good that you reassured him, and even though you may have thought everything was fine, that was probably just the surface. He was deep in his shell, hiding his true feelings. I bet you had to struggle to get him to talk to you. Pulling and dragging each little word out of him, right?
The next night though, he tells me that he's not sleeping over my apt because he has to get up early. Weird bc he is the clingy love waking up to you type, and that was never an issue before. Then he took his bag of clothes from my apt with him when he left. Then the next night he comes over and says that he can't be in a relationship right now because he's too stressed and gets up and leaves without an explanation but says, "I really like you and will still be thinking of you."
- This follows the same actions I have been describing. He was hurt, and he wanted to prevent any further pain. Now I'm going to say right now that what he did was totally over-reacting to the situation. He may have been hurt, but to go so far as to break up? Well, that's the way he handled it.
Continued...
I confronted him on it and he said that in his past relationships, his gf's broke up with him out of the blue and without warning, and that he hasn't liked anyone for at least a year until he met me, and that he was really hurt by his past. Basically, he thought I was pulling away. I re-assured him no, and then everything was fine.
- Cancer hold on to the past and we use it to ground us, and rely on past experiences when handling present and future events. It took me a year to fully get over my first girlfriend of almost 4 years. Even after I was going out with my current gf for 6 months, I still wasn't fully over her, even though I thought I was. It takes time. So he has had all these past experiences where he was deeply hurt. He thought he saw the same thing coming here. It is good that you reassured him, and even though you may have thought everything was fine, that was probably just the surface. He was deep in his shell, hiding his true feelings. I bet you had to struggle to get him to talk to you. Pulling and dragging each little word out of him, right?
The next night though, he tells me that he's not sleeping over my apt because he has to get up early. Weird bc he is the clingy love waking up to you type, and that was never an issue before. Then he took his bag of clothes from my apt with him when he left. Then the next night he comes over and says that he can't be in a relationship right now because he's too stressed and gets up and leaves without an explanation but says, "I really like you and will still be thinking of you."
- This follows the same actions I have been describing. He was hurt, and he wanted to prevent any further pain. Now I'm going to say right now that what he did was totally over-reacting to the situation. He may have been hurt, but to go so far as to break up? Well, that's the way he handled it.
Continued...
I haven't heard from him or contacted him since--but recently he ran into my best friend and told her basically everything that was going on his life-I live in Boston, and he just moved from this one area to my neighborhood, which is very small, because of roommate problems. He hasn't dated anyone since. I know he was wrong, but so was I in not giving it my all. Should I try and contact him? Does this situation seem hopeless for another chance?
- Seems like he isn't over you, and him moving into your neighbourhood... Sounds like a classic side-ways action by us Cancers. It's indirect. Instead of picking up the phone and calling you, he goes the indirect route and tries to run into you on the street, or something like that. Don't ask me why we would do that, it's just the way our brains work. I would give it another chance.
My advice is this. Give him a call. Ask him out for some coffee, or some place where you can talk in person, 1 on 1. This will allow you to express your feelings, and your Cancer guy will see that you are genuine. Also, when you're on the phone, after you ask him out, try to talk to him for a while. If the sparks are still there, it shouldn't be too hard. This serves 2 purposes. It gives you some starting point when you meet him in person. It will be like carrying on the conversation from the phone. Also, your Cancer will probably be a little wary of meeting you in person after so long, and the last memories he has of you are being hurt. If you just ask him out, he agrees, and then you both hang up, he will probably have some doubts and second thoughts. If you talk to him on the phone for a while, it will show him that you aren't going to hurt him, and he will be more eager to see you in person once you build up a little bit of the trust.
Don't be afraid to apologize to him when you meet him for coffee, or even on the phone. He will most likely apologize right back to you, and won't blame you or hold it against you. Only after you've apologized (if you want to), then I would start talking about him over-reacting. Hopefully he will bring this up himself, but if not, you should.
- Seems like he isn't over you, and him moving into your neighbourhood... Sounds like a classic side-ways action by us Cancers. It's indirect. Instead of picking up the phone and calling you, he goes the indirect route and tries to run into you on the street, or something like that. Don't ask me why we would do that, it's just the way our brains work. I would give it another chance.
My advice is this. Give him a call. Ask him out for some coffee, or some place where you can talk in person, 1 on 1. This will allow you to express your feelings, and your Cancer guy will see that you are genuine. Also, when you're on the phone, after you ask him out, try to talk to him for a while. If the sparks are still there, it shouldn't be too hard. This serves 2 purposes. It gives you some starting point when you meet him in person. It will be like carrying on the conversation from the phone. Also, your Cancer will probably be a little wary of meeting you in person after so long, and the last memories he has of you are being hurt. If you just ask him out, he agrees, and then you both hang up, he will probably have some doubts and second thoughts. If you talk to him on the phone for a while, it will show him that you aren't going to hurt him, and he will be more eager to see you in person once you build up a little bit of the trust.
Don't be afraid to apologize to him when you meet him for coffee, or even on the phone. He will most likely apologize right back to you, and won't blame you or hold it against you. Only after you've apologized (if you want to), then I would start talking about him over-reacting. Hopefully he will bring this up himself, but if not, you should.
If you do want to have a relationship with him, you need to show him that, but you also need to let him know that you aren't going to hurt him. He needs to learn that he can trust you and you're not trying to hurt him. We can be a little slow and/or stubborn sometimes. So give him a swift kick to the ass, and let him know that the way he acted was not acceptable. If he wants this to work, he is going to have to not over-react to every little bump in the road. The biggest lesson for me to learn was to actually talk to my gf, and work things out together, instead of holding them inside, trying to act like everything was ok, and deal with things on my own. Hopefully he has grown up a little in the time spent apart and he will know that you guys need to act together, not unilaterally.
Sorry for the ramble. Hope this helps.
First off, thanks to EVERYONE for the input. Unfortunately, there is a character limit on these posts, and I wasn't able to include all the details, so I'm sure that is why the laundry issue stood out. From just reading what I wrote, I can see why it would seem trivial and ridiculous...however, like Domanb and moon_eyes pointed out, there is more to the situation. So sorry for the confusion.
Moon_eyes: I know that I should stand up and go get what I want if I want it...I'm just one of those people who doesn't take chances without knowing that it's safe too. Which...is lame. So, I'm going to be more pro-active in this situation because it can't be worse than it already is. And you're right about me not being emotionally with it enough to handle this Cancer...I think it took me losing him to realize that I had to grow emotionally as a person and my insecure relationship bs landed me in a bad place. Thanks for the advice.
Domanb:Thank-you so much for your insights. You definitely weren't rambling at all. You were right that it took so much just to drag any little word out of him after the incident at lunch. Your reply definitely seems right on target with his mindset from what I know of him. Thanks for the details too on how to handle our meetup if we do...he definitely has some trust issues, and from what I know of cancers and of what you said...it definitely takes a lot of coaxing once they have retreated. Once again, thanks for taking the time out to respond with the depth of a cancer male.
Moon_eyes: I know that I should stand up and go get what I want if I want it...I'm just one of those people who doesn't take chances without knowing that it's safe too. Which...is lame. So, I'm going to be more pro-active in this situation because it can't be worse than it already is. And you're right about me not being emotionally with it enough to handle this Cancer...I think it took me losing him to realize that I had to grow emotionally as a person and my insecure relationship bs landed me in a bad place. Thanks for the advice.
Domanb:Thank-you so much for your insights. You definitely weren't rambling at all. You were right that it took so much just to drag any little word out of him after the incident at lunch. Your reply definitely seems right on target with his mindset from what I know of him. Thanks for the details too on how to handle our meetup if we do...he definitely has some trust issues, and from what I know of cancers and of what you said...it definitely takes a lot of coaxing once they have retreated. Once again, thanks for taking the time out to respond with the depth of a cancer male.
"You all have a typical explanation for cancers because you were probably slighted by one, or you totally do not understand cancers"
For someone who was so "crabby" about me not having enough info to comment you sure as hell were quick to jump to conclusions.
Sorry honey, I won't date a cancer guy nor have I ever wanted to. I do have two close make cancer friends and they tend to be cry babies about little things. Love em dearly but toooooo emo for me.
As for the childish drama blah blah .... you sure know how to respond to it 😉 Must not be totally above you. 🙂
For someone who was so "crabby" about me not having enough info to comment you sure as hell were quick to jump to conclusions.
Sorry honey, I won't date a cancer guy nor have I ever wanted to. I do have two close make cancer friends and they tend to be cry babies about little things. Love em dearly but toooooo emo for me.
As for the childish drama blah blah .... you sure know how to respond to it 😉 Must not be totally above you. 🙂
You simply scared him off. Nice job idiot. Lol
LOL Ok Moon eyes. I think you need to reread the post and look at who was insulting who. I wasn't the one who got up in the air and even admitted to being in a joking mood. It's rare but it happens 😛
You got offended about me saying he was being a wuss and ASSumed it was because he was a Cancer and went off on a little lecture AND took a personal swipe at me about being slighted by a Cancer.
So I ask. What the hell is YOUR problem and where did I insult YOU? I believe you were the one throwing around assumptions TRYING to insult me.
I never got nasty. I was actually laughing... at you 🙂
You got offended about me saying he was being a wuss and ASSumed it was because he was a Cancer and went off on a little lecture AND took a personal swipe at me about being slighted by a Cancer.
So I ask. What the hell is YOUR problem and where did I insult YOU? I believe you were the one throwing around assumptions TRYING to insult me.
I never got nasty. I was actually laughing... at you 🙂
Im a cancer female and my advice is this: if u feel he is the right guy for u, he makes u feel loved and complete, secure, dont ask other people what to do, u should know it in ur heart if u love him = stay with him tell him if u feel like soulmates with him. The only thing u need to teach a cancer is privacy and he in return will teach u how to express and love***
Cancers are possessive because of their strong feelings which they feel from the outside and inside world as well as ur feelings in an instant knowing them by ur expression. so u should love him delicately explaining ur opinion of privacy as means of wanting to miss him all the more and strengthening ur bond and love + balancing life.
Obviously if u tell a cancer (emotional sign) u wana do laundry over dating him and thats all cancers specifically will take it as u r being disintrested thus he will reflect ur behaviour hurtful hide his feelings from u and let u free. then himself will break up with u because of what u wanted and the manner. he will always put u first
I strongly recommend u checking ur own feelings and history as u know him really better than me and whether u want a long loving term relationship or just short over night if u r not ready.
if u try to love him alot he will be the best of men for u because of his undying and huge love. u will be happier as men like this r not evrywhere.
Cancers are possessive because of their strong feelings which they feel from the outside and inside world as well as ur feelings in an instant knowing them by ur expression. so u should love him delicately explaining ur opinion of privacy as means of wanting to miss him all the more and strengthening ur bond and love + balancing life.
Obviously if u tell a cancer (emotional sign) u wana do laundry over dating him and thats all cancers specifically will take it as u r being disintrested thus he will reflect ur behaviour hurtful hide his feelings from u and let u free. then himself will break up with u because of what u wanted and the manner. he will always put u first
I strongly recommend u checking ur own feelings and history as u know him really better than me and whether u want a long loving term relationship or just short over night if u r not ready.
if u try to love him alot he will be the best of men for u because of his undying and huge love. u will be happier as men like this r not evrywhere.
Im a cancer female and my advice is this: if u feel he is the right guy for u, he makes u feel loved and complete, secure, dont ask other people what to do, u should know it in ur heart if u love him = stay with him tell him if u feel like soulmates with him. The only thing u need to teach a cancer is privacy and he in return will teach u how to express and love***
Cancers are possessive because of their strong feelings which they feel from the outside and inside world as well as ur feelings in an instant knowing them by ur expression. so u should love him delicately explaining ur opinion of privacy as means of wanting to miss him all the more and strengthening ur bond and love + balancing life.
Obviously if u tell a cancer (emotional sign) u wana do laundry over dating him and thats all cancers specifically will take it as u r being disintrested thus he will reflect ur behaviour hurtful hide his feelings from u and let u free. then himself will break up with u because of what u wanted and the manner. he will always put u first
I strongly recommend u checking ur own feelings and history as u know him really better than me and whether u want a long loving term relationship or just short over night if u r not ready.
if u try to love him alot he will be the best of men for u because of his undying and huge love. u will be happier as men like this r not evrywhere.
Cancers are possessive because of their strong feelings which they feel from the outside and inside world as well as ur feelings in an instant knowing them by ur expression. so u should love him delicately explaining ur opinion of privacy as means of wanting to miss him all the more and strengthening ur bond and love + balancing life.
Obviously if u tell a cancer (emotional sign) u wana do laundry over dating him and thats all cancers specifically will take it as u r being disintrested thus he will reflect ur behaviour hurtful hide his feelings from u and let u free. then himself will break up with u because of what u wanted and the manner. he will always put u first
I strongly recommend u checking ur own feelings and history as u know him really better than me and whether u want a long loving term relationship or just short over night if u r not ready.
if u try to love him alot he will be the best of men for u because of his undying and huge love. u will be happier as men like this r not evrywhere.
Domanb - this is amazing man, I salute you! What a brilliant description of cancerian behaviour.
To the OP - you clearly love this guy and he clearly loves you (he broke up because he was so afraid you'd break up with him and hurt him like his exes and he couldn't face another heartache from someone he loved. You need to open your arms wide to him and let him know that he can come back. Don't let go this time! And be gentle.
Good luck 🙂
To the OP - you clearly love this guy and he clearly loves you (he broke up because he was so afraid you'd break up with him and hurt him like his exes and he couldn't face another heartache from someone he loved. You need to open your arms wide to him and let him know that he can come back. Don't let go this time! And be gentle.
Good luck 🙂
Thanks London Libra and Lidia,
I just hope that it isn't too late, because on April sixth, it will have been three months. Are cancers the type to completely move on from a situation, or are they the type to work it out? I know that I won't know until I take action, but I would just like a heads up first. How long do cancers typically hold onto things from the past, particularly hurtful things?
Also, after we broke up, we had to attend an event with eachother two times. We also had to sit next to eachother. He basically curled up into himself and didn't even say hello to me, even though he said that he wanted me in his life. The other day I was standing on a street corner and I felt this presence, and it was him staring back at me from the other side of the street...but he didn't try and get my attention...I don't think that he knew that I saw him. I just feel like he's so terrified! He's acting like I am the wrong doer, instead of us both making mistakes.
I just hope that it isn't too late, because on April sixth, it will have been three months. Are cancers the type to completely move on from a situation, or are they the type to work it out? I know that I won't know until I take action, but I would just like a heads up first. How long do cancers typically hold onto things from the past, particularly hurtful things?
Also, after we broke up, we had to attend an event with eachother two times. We also had to sit next to eachother. He basically curled up into himself and didn't even say hello to me, even though he said that he wanted me in his life. The other day I was standing on a street corner and I felt this presence, and it was him staring back at me from the other side of the street...but he didn't try and get my attention...I don't think that he knew that I saw him. I just feel like he's so terrified! He's acting like I am the wrong doer, instead of us both making mistakes.
"Yeah he's being a baby.
Yuck! He needs act like he has a penis rather then a vagina."
ROFFFFLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!God I love you Mel!!
On a serious note I completely agree with GS, I mean it's your life whatever. If you want a whiney cry-baby that's your business. But realize this insecurity he has is never going to change, you reject him once and he will pull away again. I mean if he pulled away for something trivial as not wanting to spend the night do you even want to be with him. This guy has some trust issues and I find that that characteristic is hard to change in people, once they've been scarred. But hey if you want to be changing his diapers all your life be my guest. I can tell you've already made up your mind.
Good luck.
P.S. Don't worry not being able to express your emotions it's a Virgo thing, they tend to like their alone time too.
Yuck! He needs act like he has a penis rather then a vagina."
ROFFFFLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!God I love you Mel!!
On a serious note I completely agree with GS, I mean it's your life whatever. If you want a whiney cry-baby that's your business. But realize this insecurity he has is never going to change, you reject him once and he will pull away again. I mean if he pulled away for something trivial as not wanting to spend the night do you even want to be with him. This guy has some trust issues and I find that that characteristic is hard to change in people, once they've been scarred. But hey if you want to be changing his diapers all your life be my guest. I can tell you've already made up your mind.
Good luck.
P.S. Don't worry not being able to express your emotions it's a Virgo thing, they tend to like their alone time too.
Hey SagMoon,
Is there any update on this situation? From reading your last post, it seems like your guy is very emotionally undeveloped, and super shy. He seems like he knows what he wants, but is too afraid to just put himself out there and go for it. I'm sorry to say this, but it doesn't seem like he is willing to do what it takes to get you back. Even when we was right beside you he couldn't muster up the courage to talk to you!? I'm not sure how you two attend an event together but he doesn't even say hello? Did you two go together, or just bump into each other at the events?
Cancer hold on for a VERY long time, way longer than they should. Like I said before, we never forget about something. Although I personally don't hold grudges (I've tried, it just doesn't work), he may be different.
Next time you encounter him, staring at you, or at an event, I would just confront him. Figure out what exactly he is doing. In my opinion, he still thinks about you, probably often. But I don't think this is the type of guy you want to have a relationship with. He has some baggage that he needs to deal with before he should try to commit to anything. If he doesn't come into a relationship bringing 100% , guess what, the relationship is not going to be 100% either. I would honestly say forget about this guy, and tell him that. He will probably try to keep bumping into you until you tell him that you've moved on. If you still want something with him, be honest with yourself first. Tell him there are certain 'musts' that have to be there, otherwise any relationship isn't going to work. Good luck.
Is there any update on this situation? From reading your last post, it seems like your guy is very emotionally undeveloped, and super shy. He seems like he knows what he wants, but is too afraid to just put himself out there and go for it. I'm sorry to say this, but it doesn't seem like he is willing to do what it takes to get you back. Even when we was right beside you he couldn't muster up the courage to talk to you!? I'm not sure how you two attend an event together but he doesn't even say hello? Did you two go together, or just bump into each other at the events?
I just hope that it isn't too late, because on April sixth, it will have been three months. Are cancers the type to completely move on from a situation, or are they the type to work it out? I know that I won't know until I take action, but I would just like a heads up first. How long do cancers typically hold onto things from the past, particularly hurtful things?
Cancer hold on for a VERY long time, way longer than they should. Like I said before, we never forget about something. Although I personally don't hold grudges (I've tried, it just doesn't work), he may be different.
Next time you encounter him, staring at you, or at an event, I would just confront him. Figure out what exactly he is doing. In my opinion, he still thinks about you, probably often. But I don't think this is the type of guy you want to have a relationship with. He has some baggage that he needs to deal with before he should try to commit to anything. If he doesn't come into a relationship bringing 100% , guess what, the relationship is not going to be 100% either. I would honestly say forget about this guy, and tell him that. He will probably try to keep bumping into you until you tell him that you've moved on. If you still want something with him, be honest with yourself first. Tell him there are certain 'musts' that have to be there, otherwise any relationship isn't going to work. Good luck.
Hey Domanb,
Thanks so much for keeping up with the posts, it means a lot!
As for the updates, here's what happened since.
-I texted him instead of a phone call(I know, not as personal, but that's how we would typically communicate). I said, hey, how've you been? It was really casual, and I genuinely did want to know if he was doing okay. Well, let me just say, my hands must have turned to icicles from the cold replies he was sending me. He basically didn't act like he had the time, or like he didn't even know me. He even ignored the mutual jokes that we once both laughed about together. Then after the last text I sent, he just didn't reply back.
-I've also been hearing from other people that he's been hanging out with people that he normally wouldn't have hung out with before, people he's even told me that he finds to be not good people to be around. He's also apparently going out alot, which contradicts his nature of preferring to stay in and watch a movie, go to see art, etc. He did tell me that large group gatherings and big parties aren't his thing because it makes him somewhat anxious. He's very cancerian in terms of his social life. He also changed his career path from writer to something completely opposite and something he never talked about. He wanted to be a writer his whole life.
-His appearance his changed, I saw him on my way to work and he's lost a considerable amount of weight, and he was already thin.
As for the event thing, it was an only one time thing, and no, we didn't go together. We just were placed next to eachother and he didn't look at me and wouldn't acknowledge me. It made me feel bad, but it was only three days after our breakup and I thought he might have been feeling guilty and couldn't face me. Now I think I know the truth. He's holding some grudge and has erased me out of his life. I think even if he did want to be with me, he wouldn't be able to get the bad stuff out of his head. And, like you said, I have to think about what I want. It seems like he's going through some identity crisis, and maybe Idk what happened with us triggered some of it. I don't think he knows who he is yet, and I don't think he has the capacity to be in a relationship with anyone at this point.
Thanks so much ...any more input would be great, from your cancer male perspective 🙂
I'm upset with him, but his recent behavior makes me worry still 😢
Thanks so much for keeping up with the posts, it means a lot!
As for the updates, here's what happened since.
-I texted him instead of a phone call(I know, not as personal, but that's how we would typically communicate). I said, hey, how've you been? It was really casual, and I genuinely did want to know if he was doing okay. Well, let me just say, my hands must have turned to icicles from the cold replies he was sending me. He basically didn't act like he had the time, or like he didn't even know me. He even ignored the mutual jokes that we once both laughed about together. Then after the last text I sent, he just didn't reply back.
-I've also been hearing from other people that he's been hanging out with people that he normally wouldn't have hung out with before, people he's even told me that he finds to be not good people to be around. He's also apparently going out alot, which contradicts his nature of preferring to stay in and watch a movie, go to see art, etc. He did tell me that large group gatherings and big parties aren't his thing because it makes him somewhat anxious. He's very cancerian in terms of his social life. He also changed his career path from writer to something completely opposite and something he never talked about. He wanted to be a writer his whole life.
-His appearance his changed, I saw him on my way to work and he's lost a considerable amount of weight, and he was already thin.
As for the event thing, it was an only one time thing, and no, we didn't go together. We just were placed next to eachother and he didn't look at me and wouldn't acknowledge me. It made me feel bad, but it was only three days after our breakup and I thought he might have been feeling guilty and couldn't face me. Now I think I know the truth. He's holding some grudge and has erased me out of his life. I think even if he did want to be with me, he wouldn't be able to get the bad stuff out of his head. And, like you said, I have to think about what I want. It seems like he's going through some identity crisis, and maybe Idk what happened with us triggered some of it. I don't think he knows who he is yet, and I don't think he has the capacity to be in a relationship with anyone at this point.
Thanks so much ...any more input would be great, from your cancer male perspective 🙂
I'm upset with him, but his recent behavior makes me worry still 😢
Yikes! This just keeps getting worse and worse. At first I was optimistic, and thought there was a lot of potential to rekindle a relationship. Now I'm thinking the exact opposite. This guy sounds like a train wreck. Hanging out with the wrong crowds, dropping weight too fast (can you say speed or coke anyone?) It seems like he has already cut you out of his life for whatever reason. I guess it was for trying to do your laundry...? It may be hard, since it sounds like you still want him in your life, but try to step outside of the situation and look at it honestly. This guy is not right for you. There are plenty of fish in the sea, and better ones at that. I would spend some time on yourself. Being single has lots of advantages, and not worrying or stressing about some messed up guy is one of them. Go out and have some fun, and work on getting things right in your life, so when Mr. Right comes along, you'll be ready to dive in. You'll feel better about yourself and that will put you in the right frame of mind to start a new and better relationship while this guy is still going through his identity crisis.
In regards to your last sentence, I know you may still be worrying about him, especially since he seems to have no regard for his own health and safety. You've already tried to reach out to him through your text messages, and that takes a lot of courage. But he acted like you didn't even matter, and clearly didn't want any help. You need to stop:
It's alright to be upset with him, but don't dwell on it. And don't worry, he clearly doesn't and he doesn't want your help. Maybe he'll figure things out later, but for now you need to remove him from your life. The best way to do that is avoid places you know he will be. Don't change your entire life, but if you know he goes to get his coffee at starbucks, go to second cup, or whatever. Running into him will just bring up old emotions and feelings, which doesn't help when you're trying to move on. Good luck Sagmoon.
In regards to your last sentence, I know you may still be worrying about him, especially since he seems to have no regard for his own health and safety. You've already tried to reach out to him through your text messages, and that takes a lot of courage. But he acted like you didn't even matter, and clearly didn't want any help. You need to stop:
I'm upset with him, but his recent behavior makes me worry still
It's alright to be upset with him, but don't dwell on it. And don't worry, he clearly doesn't and he doesn't want your help. Maybe he'll figure things out later, but for now you need to remove him from your life. The best way to do that is avoid places you know he will be. Don't change your entire life, but if you know he goes to get his coffee at starbucks, go to second cup, or whatever. Running into him will just bring up old emotions and feelings, which doesn't help when you're trying to move on. Good luck Sagmoon.
Hey all, thanks Domanb, firefly, and nihilist. I've thought about everything everyone has said, and I can say that I've definitely moved on. April has been a great month for me, especially with Venus in Retrograde ending. I think that's what made it so extra tough...going through a break up during a retrograde! Gah! Anyways, I ran into this guy on Friday and he asked me on a date, so I'm getting out there.
What upsets me the most about my cancer was that he was the nicest person I had ever met(being a virgo, I can see through people, so I say this with confidence), and he just changed. It's sad because he is obviously going through an identity crisis...and I just miss the old person. BUT I realize that my life and my happiness comes first, and I can't wait around for someone to find themselves again. This forum has really helped a lot, thanks for the kindness as always. I think I've learned that to deal with things, cancers put on a front of going out and diving into another side of themselves that they don't like as a way of coping. I know my cancer, and I know that he wouldn't like the things he's doing. I think that he is confused about his life path, and it has nothing to do with me. Oh well!
BTW this hasn't made me stop loving cancers. Cancers have been two of my best girlfriends, and one of my best guy friends. I attract cancers, and I'm completely happy with that.
What upsets me the most about my cancer was that he was the nicest person I had ever met(being a virgo, I can see through people, so I say this with confidence), and he just changed. It's sad because he is obviously going through an identity crisis...and I just miss the old person. BUT I realize that my life and my happiness comes first, and I can't wait around for someone to find themselves again. This forum has really helped a lot, thanks for the kindness as always. I think I've learned that to deal with things, cancers put on a front of going out and diving into another side of themselves that they don't like as a way of coping. I know my cancer, and I know that he wouldn't like the things he's doing. I think that he is confused about his life path, and it has nothing to do with me. Oh well!
BTW this hasn't made me stop loving cancers. Cancers have been two of my best girlfriends, and one of my best guy friends. I attract cancers, and I'm completely happy with that.
My experience with Cancers is that they are not particularly loyal, despite their being really sweet and clingy when they want you.
Perhaps it is the whole "phases" of the moon thing, but Cancer can definitely move into a new "phase" in their lives, and if you are part of their past, you are kept their in their minds, but you are NOT a part of the future. I've noticed Cancers can definitely associate you with the pain they think you caused them, and then that's it -- you are "history". Of course, you still "belong" to them, so they can keep you on a string and jerk it once in a while, but don't expect a future.
It's all part of the running away from pain which many Cancers are expert at (not all, I am pleased to say.) If you were part of the pain, then you are of course completely at fault, and they won't let you forget it!
Perhaps it is the whole "phases" of the moon thing, but Cancer can definitely move into a new "phase" in their lives, and if you are part of their past, you are kept their in their minds, but you are NOT a part of the future. I've noticed Cancers can definitely associate you with the pain they think you caused them, and then that's it -- you are "history". Of course, you still "belong" to them, so they can keep you on a string and jerk it once in a while, but don't expect a future.
It's all part of the running away from pain which many Cancers are expert at (not all, I am pleased to say.) If you were part of the pain, then you are of course completely at fault, and they won't let you forget it!
My experience with Cancers is that they are not particularly loyal, despite their being really sweet and clingy when they want you.
Perhaps it is the whole "phases" of the moon thing, but Cancer can definitely move into a new "phase" in their lives, and if you are part of their past, you are kept their in their minds, but you are NOT a part of the future. I've noticed Cancers can definitely associate you with the pain they think you caused them, and then that's it -- you are "history". Of course, you still "belong" to them, so they can keep you on a string and jerk it once in a while, but don't expect a future.
It's all part of the running away from pain which many Cancers are expert at (not all, I am pleased to say.) If you were part of the pain, then you are of course completely at fault, and they won't let you forget it!
Perhaps it is the whole "phases" of the moon thing, but Cancer can definitely move into a new "phase" in their lives, and if you are part of their past, you are kept their in their minds, but you are NOT a part of the future. I've noticed Cancers can definitely associate you with the pain they think you caused them, and then that's it -- you are "history". Of course, you still "belong" to them, so they can keep you on a string and jerk it once in a while, but don't expect a future.
It's all part of the running away from pain which many Cancers are expert at (not all, I am pleased to say.) If you were part of the pain, then you are of course completely at fault, and they won't let you forget it!
Join the Conversation. Explore Yourself. Connect with Others.
Discover insights, swap stories, and find people. dxpnet is where experiences turn into understanding.
Create Your Free Account →Related Topics
Any Cancer female date a Sagittarius male? What was your experience and can it work? I've been reading up on the Sag. sign and compatibility with Cancer, and its scaring me...
i'm a sag female. anyone out there ever have to deal with a cancer male? what was your experience with them like?
I just recently met an Sag man and I was wondering if Sag and Cancer go well. I was dating a Sag man before, we had good conversation, had fun together but he was very promiscious and uncommittal, always wanted to talk to every girl he saw. Now, is this a
This cancer male had feelings for me for months, but never expressed it until I showed interest too. He said that he knew that he liked me from the first time that he saw me. So, we started dating, and he wanted to make it official even though i wanted to wait..but I caved bc we felt like we were soulmates, I guess. Even though I really liked him, I'm independent because of my Sag moon, and I have trouble expressing my feelings. He always was the one to put forth his feelings like sharing all his anxieties and the fear that has followed him around since the death of his father. I was always there to support him. Anyways, we were with eachother all the time, but one day I said that I needed a break just to do laundry and catch up with everything in my life...and that I wouldn't be spending the night with him. His face literally transformed and then for the rest of our lunch he was quiet and snippy. I confronted him on it and he said that in his past relationships, his gf's broke up with him out of the blue and without warning, and that he hasn't liked anyone for at least a year until he met me, and that he was really hurt by his past. Basically, he thought I was pulling away. I re-assured him no, and then everything was fine. The next night though, he tells me that he's not sleeping over my apt because he has to get up early. Weird bc he is the clingy love waking up to you type, and that was never an issue before. Then he took his bag of clothes from my apt with him when he left. Then the next night he comes over and says that he can't be in a relationship right now because he's too stressed and gets up and leaves without an explanation but says, "I really like you and will still be thinking of you." I haven't heard from him or contacted him since--but recently he ran into my best friend and told her basically everything that was going on his life-I live in Boston, and he just moved from this one area to my neighborhood, which is very small, because of roommate problems. He hasn't dated anyone since. I know he was wrong, but so was I in not giving it my all. Should I try and contact him? Does this situation seem hopeless for another chance?