Gems

I'm asking here because I like view points from people who know Gems and also Gems them self if they can relate.

Do you find that they can sometimes say things that they something nice or helpful that has underlying element of 1 up man-ship of some sort? It's hard to explain so I'll give a couple of examples...

I recently just got a new job after being out of work very a long time while i have been raising my kids and also for other reason that is too long a story to go into but they are the right reasons. But I know many people espesh here in the UK look down on people that are not working so I prefer to keep my business to myself. Anyway the Gem posted a status congratulating me on passing a few interviews a couple of weeks ago but she announced to all how long I had been out of work for.. I made it clear in the nicest way possible that i would prefer things like that were not posted for all to see and she told me I should be proud, there is nothing wrong with it because you where raising your kids.. again yesterday she posted another congratulations because after 4 interview processes i finally got the job and again she mentioned how long i had been out of work for! I was gobsmacked.. its like a congratulations with a sneaky intention along side it.. she made a comment saying the company must be scraping the barrels which i took light heartedly and joked about it but i cant shake the feeling she is somewhere trying to make me look bad while also praising my efforts :-/

Also my husband posted his new website and she pulled him up publicly on an error.. he fixed it and said thanks for the help! He always welcomes constructive insight.. but then later she replies again with "I see lots more errors but i dont want to be a grammar nazi" I asked her to pm him so he could fix them as did he.. he is still yet to receive that pm. I'ts like she was trying to publicly humiliate him which is probably the right term for my experience too.

She has always done stuff like this but its getting to me more and more, its upsets me the most because she is my sister, we are VERY close and have a great relationship. I have never pulled her on on it because she will take offense instantly and hates being criticized and i will 100% be the bad one. She is 35 and i'm 28 but I do feel like I am the older sister sometimes, she can be very childlike.. its so odd :-/

What is your experience with Gems, do see similarities? And how do you deal with it?

And if you are

*a Gem how would be the best way to approach it?

Posted by ccaqua


She is 35 and i'm 28 but I do feel like I am the older sister sometimes, she can be very childlike.. its so odd :-/

....sigh.

Ahh so because I said that, that must explain everything... bad bad Aqua for saying such a thing! She is my sister I know her very well and sometimes this is the case and most other times she is my amazing big sister whom I adore. You did what she would do... Pick the most negative part out to make someone look stupid and ignorant. 😉

Yes, that is the part that would resonate the most. No, you're not stupid. When you make comments like that she might view it as manipulation.

You seem to have a sense of superiority and when it fails you, your battle cry is "I am wounded, Meannie". Then say, "see I was right all along, how childish of her" (or insert any other demeaning word to knock her down a peg or two).

You use it to win a situation against her and this will trigger her defences. You know how to rile her up just to prove a point and then use the childish or mean stmt as evidence.

What— You Have no idea who I am and what I would say or have ever said to her!!! Such a massive assumption and horrible judgment you have made! I would never speak to her like that, I respect her and there would be no chance of manipulation with her... she is most definitely not a wounded sheep cause by me! If anything i am actually freakin scared of her that's why I looking for way to tell her im upset about the way she says things because her backlash is so intense!

Let me guess.. you have had a bad experience with an Aqua so now you know them all and pass judgment based on your experience with one? Just WOW!!

Win against a Gemini... my Gemini sister? Its impossible... And I guarantee you will want to win this too because you are always right..

If anyone else could help, I've just read her chart and WOW! It's pretty powerful lol!! Think i'm going to show her it actually, its pretty interesting!!

Asc Leo
Moon Aries
Merc, venus and Mars in Taurus
Jup in Leo
Saturn Virgo
Uranus Scorpio
Neptune Sag

Moon is in 15 Degrees Aries.
High-spirited and courageous, you are a fighter when your emotions are aroused. The degree of force and drive that you can bring to any effort sometimes surprises others. You have hair-trigger reactions to specific stimuli and tend to "let it all hang out." You sometimes act before you think and do things on the spur of the moment, and that sometimes gets you into trouble. Your moods change quickly -- you have quite a temper, but you don't hold grudges. Very independent, with an extremely strong and forceful personality, you are known for being impulsive, careless, reckless, foolhardy, rash and daring.

She's a tough cookie! lol

This is how you behave... Explains her passive aggressive backhanded behaviour towards you at times.

You flipped around most of what I said. Good grief, did I hit a nerve—?

I don't dislike Aquas, some are great and some not so much . Never met one that I hated, I don't think. My mom was a lovely Aqua. So your assumption has zero merit.

Lmao! Its the way I behave to people who think they know me by reading a few comments I have written!You obviously don't like it when people talk to you the way you talk them! You know how MY assumption/Judgement of you has zero merit— That is because I don't know!

Ok...flipper...lol You should reread what you wrote, which is the only thing I responded to.

Sometimes people need to remain in denial until they are ready, so when you are ready.... I find that being reflective of my own behaviour helps me to understand and thats what I seek... maybe you should try reflecting on yours....as it's not always about the other persons flaws. What about your own... how do you contribute to the situation and not just in that particular moment.

Anyway, good luck to you and your awesome sister.

Makes you feel good doesn't it lol!

Ahh yes, I thought that when I looked at her chart, 3 Taurus placements is pretty strong isn't it.. as in influence it has? (Still new to the chart) I am doing her chart for her and I was reading the connection with Capricorn Rising and Saturn in Virgo (NOT Leo Rising, I corrected her time of birth)and it also explains the need in finding discrepancies and mistakes... which explains her being a grammar nazi all the time lol Maybe its not intentional in the way she goes about it!

e11e I think if she does it again I will ask her again not to personal stuff publicly even though I did ask the first time.. You right though It maybe wasn't intentional.. she does like a back handed comment too but I laughed that off because she does like a cheeky joke, just couldn't understand why she repeated something a second time after I asked her not too.

I definitely couldn't delete her, she is my sister and she will always know everything about me, we are really close. Its just these niggle comments sometimes, face to face or online.. trying to find a reason why she does it ( she does it with everyone not just me) but its just who she is I guess. I am by no means perfect we all have our flaws but I should just mad up and express how i feel more clearly maybe I didn't do it well enough the first time so she didn't take me seriously :-)

Posted by ccaqua

.. I made it clear in the nicest way possible that i would prefer things like that were not posted for all to see and she told me I should be proud, there is nothing wrong with it because you where raising your kids..

Due to the fact that she disregarded what you said, to respond with how you should feel = she never heard what you said. If she had heard it, then she wouldn't have ignored you.

to say something to someone in the nicest way possible usually translate to: you beat around the bush.

By nature, Geminis are very jealous people, which causes them to believe they are superior to others. So, her doing this probably wasn't to get one up on you, rather because she believes she knows better than you .... especially considering she told you how to feel.

You can't sheepish, and give suggestions hoping they will catch the drift ... because they won't. They don't have enough mental depth to get hints.

You tell her, point blank, using a strong and firm tone - what you will NOT allow. If she breaches this, then you tell her that you will refrain from including her in your personal life, and do so. Just stop including her. When (if) she complains about it ... tell her again:

I will NOT allow (this) period.


The Gemini will not figure this out on their own. You're the Aqua, you have much more mental fortitude than she does. She blabbers because she knows she doesn't have the mental strength, and so she resorts to underminding you, which is a typical Gemini reaction when they feel inferior.

From what you wrote, in how you worded it .... it sounds like you never really addressed this firmly, rather you insinuated and hoped she would get the hint. You've lived with her for 28 years, you should know by now that she isn't going to adjust herself to your hints.

so, the question then comes to you: Why are still hinting around with her, when you know she doesn't get it?

Posted by e11e
no, it's not intentional!

once you can detach from feeling it's a personal attack towards you.....it can be tolerable.

Looking back at my posts I probably do need a Grammar nazi by side lmao!! Yeah you are 100% Thanks e11e!

Posted by P-Angel

Posted by ccaqua

.. I made it clear in the nicest way possible that i would prefer things like that were not posted for all to see and she told me I should be proud, there is nothing wrong with it because you where raising your kids..

Due to the fact that she disregarded what you said, to respond with how you should feel = she never heard what you said. If she had heard it, then she wouldn't have ignored you.

to say something to someone in the nicest way possible usually translate to: you beat around the bush.

By nature, Geminis are very jealous people, which causes them to believe they are superior to others. So, her doing this probably wasn't to get one up on you, rather because she believes she knows better than you .... especially considering she told you how to feel.

You can't sheepish, and give suggestions hoping they will catch the drift ... because they won't. They don't have enough mental depth to get hints.

You tell her, point blank, using a strong and firm tone - what you will NOT allow. If she breaches this, then you tell her that you will refrain from including her in your personal life, and do so. Just stop including her. When (if) she complains about it ... tell her again:

I will NOT allow (this) period.


The Gemini will not figure this out on their own. You're the Aqua, you have much more mental fortitude than she does. She blabbers because she knows she doesn't have the mental strength, and so she resorts to underminding you, which is a typical Gemini reaction when they feel inferior.

From what you wrote, in how you worded it .... it sounds like you never really addressed this firmly, rather you insinuated and hoped she would get the hint. You've lived with her for 28 years, you should know by now that she isn't going to adjust herself to your hints.

so, the question then comes to you: Why are still hinting around with her, when you know she doesn't get it?

click to expand

Yes absolutely, I think that is exactly what happened.. I was saying that in my 2nd last post there. I obviously didn't get across how serious I was about it and i probably was beating round the bush and I do tend to do that because I know how powerful she can be if I or anyone take a stand with her, It goes either 1 of two ways either she

:-/ what happened there lol!

She either gets upset or goes silently angry but always ends up with me feeling bad for saying something in the first place.

She has a really strong personality but also super sensitive so I guess I beat around the bush in worry of upsetting the balance and causing upset. I normally speak my mind to people like my husband this i have no fear but when it comes to my sisters I find it really hard.. My eldest is a libra, she can be even scarier lol!!

This is something I clearly need to work on so thank you for your insight P-Angel!!!

My daughter is 8, she is a Gem too, when they are together they are like wold animals lol!

Posted by ccaqua

..... I guess I beat around the bush in worry of upsetting the balance and causing upset.

I know. That's what nice people do.

But, with some people - you have to be firm with them. Sometimes, people don't realize the error of their ways until they get pushed up against a wall.

Libra, Aqua, Gem ..... I feel for your parents, lol

Yeah it has to be done.. I'll put my big girl pants on next time, if I don't then I cant complain about it because I didn't do anything to fix it!

Our parents are Aqua Mum and Libra Dad! Lmao!! Surprised we didn't all kill each other :-P

Who said all Gems do this... No one did. I asked if anyone has ever had an experience with Gems who do this. You can ask that question about Gems.. same goes for Aqua's, Libra's, Capricorns, sags, Taurus and so on! Why do you think they have categories for each and every sign? You may as well go and post that comment on every single Gem post in the forum! Maybe I should do the same in the Aqua one or maybe I wont because I dont take offense to people asking questions about there experiences with Aqua's. We are not all the same but some can be similar, no biggie!

This is just my take on it, she sounds like a snarky bitch.. I don't do stuff publicly EVER with people, I'm very private and if someone posts something about my life that I don't put out there for the world, I delete it. I let them know, too. If they do it again, well, they don't respect me and my privacy. I'm very sensitive to others situations.

I don't like this chick and I don't know her. LOL You being out of work for a certain period of time has nothing to do with congratulating you on your new job.

but.. Congratulations on your new job!! 🙂

So from my experience with all the Gems I know, we aren't like that. NONE of the Gems I know do that..

Posted by ccaqua
e11e I think if she does it again I will ask her again not to personal stuff publicly even though I did ask the first time.. You right though It maybe wasn't intentional.. she does like a back handed comment too but I laughed that off because she does like a cheeky joke, just couldn't understand why she repeated something a second time after I asked her not too.

I definitely couldn't delete her, she is my sister and she will always know everything about me, we are really close. Its just these niggle comments sometimes, face to face or online.. trying to find a reason why she does it ( she does it with everyone not just me) but its just who she is I guess. I am by no means perfect we all have our flaws but I should just mad up and express how i feel more clearly maybe I didn't do it well enough the first time so she didn't take me seriously :-)

Why if she does it again? Just tell her straight up not do put that personal stuff out there so there won't be a next time.

Posted by WateryGem
This is just my take on it, she sounds like a snarky bitch.. I don't do stuff publicly EVER with people, I'm very private and if someone posts something about my life that I don't put out there for the world, I delete it. I let them know, too. If they do it again, well, they don't respect me and my privacy. I'm very sensitive to others situations.

I don't like this chick and I don't know her. LOL You being out of work for a certain period of time has nothing to do with congratulating you on your new job.

but.. Congratulations on your new job!! 🙂

So from my experience with all the Gems I know, we aren't like that. NONE of the Gems I know do that..

Oh, I'm sorry this is your sister, I apologize for saying she sounds like a bitch.

I'm sure she is not intentionally trying to be that way with you, at least I would hope not.

Posted by WateryGem
This is just my take on it, she sounds like a snarky bitch.. I don't do stuff publicly EVER with people, I'm very private and if someone posts something about my life that I don't put out there for the world, I delete it. I let them know, too. If they do it again, well, they don't respect me and my privacy. I'm very sensitive to others situations.

I don't like this chick and I don't know her. LOL You being out of work for a certain period of time has nothing to do with congratulating you on your new job.

but.. Congratulations on your new job!! 🙂

So from my experience with all the Gems I know, we aren't like that. NONE of the Gems I know do that..

This is exactly the way she is if something is said that she doesn't like, she isn't one to tell the world about herself either, she is very private so that's why I cant understand why she would do that to me! I can be much more open about myself than she is but that doesn't me my life story is a free for all, I decide what to share and when. I obviously just need to make it more clear and be like a Gem and put my foot down lol!

Thanks for the congrats (very nervous and excited)

With regards to the coockiemonster comment.. I am still quite new so I have no idea what it means in here, so you are fine :-P Thanks for your replies!!!