How would you feel if ...

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KAY
@BeautyandTheBull
11 YearsTaurus

Comments: 4 · Posts: 253 · Topics: 34
I'm trying to learn to relax . When is comes to things like this .. We aren't official ! But we are in the "talking stage" I get serious anxiety when I feel like someone I really care about isn't Responding back to me due to abandonment Issues Ive dealt with through out my life .. So sometimes I have to ask someone else how would they react to see if I'm overreacting . I know he has a life .. Just still a really scary thing for me ..
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KAY
@BeautyandTheBull
11 YearsTaurus

Comments: 4 · Posts: 253 · Topics: 34
Posted by Foreverloveme
Posted by BeautyandTheBull
I'm trying to learn to relax . When is comes to things like this .. We aren't official ! But we are in the "talking stage" I get serious anxiety when I feel like someone I really care about isn't Responding back to me due to abandonment Issues Ive dealt with through out my life .. So sometimes I have to ask someone else how would they react to see if I'm overreacting . I know he has a life .. Just still a really scary thing for me ..

What are you doing to work on that?
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Nothing much just learning how to stay calm and take my mind off it and try to stay positive ..
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LadyNeptune
@LadyNeptune
10 Years25,000+ Posts

Comments: 11076 · Posts: 35718 · Topics: 110
Posted by BeautyandTheBull
Posted by Foreverloveme
According to majority of the dxp community that my friend is called consistency & you should have no worries about it because that is what trust is built on, consistency

*sarcasm*
We talk every single day .. But for two days after 3pm he stops responding .
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Call him at this time of day. If he doesn't pick up then ask him.

Just know that you risk coming off a little psycho which in turn will be a red flag for HIM and he might decide to call it quits...

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wagtail
@wagtail
13 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 1648 · Posts: 8304 · Topics: 67
Posted by BeautyandTheBull
How would you feel about a man that seems to stop texting you around the same time for 2 days ? Would you feel llike he's up to something ? Or is it too early to feel like that's a red flag
Personally, I feel it indicates he has a Life.

Maybe he plays sport, maybe he meets buddies on the reg for bar time and pool.

Maybe he yoga's maybe he volunteers maybe he visits his mother maybe he crochets maybe he's into taxidermy - who knows.

Either way, the last thing I'd wanna do is justify my routine to anyone,

BUT since you are kind of dating and stuff it's probably okay to just ask him 🙂

Try not to frame it like an interrogation- more like "hey if I needed to get in touch with you, is this not a good time for watever reason?"
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puhleeze
@puhleeze
12 Years500+ Posts

Comments: 445 · Posts: 897 · Topics: 38
Posted by BeautyandTheBull
I'm trying to learn to relax . When is comes to things like this .. We aren't official ! But we are in the "talking stage" I get serious anxiety when I feel like someone I really care about isn't Responding back to me due to abandonment Issues Ive dealt with through out my life .. So sometimes I have to ask someone else how would they react to see if I'm overreacting . I know he has a life .. Just still a really scary thing for me ..

i can understand what you are saying. just try not to focus on him too much, like keep yourself busy so you are not waiting for his text but rather get caught off guard when he does because you were not waiting for it. also next time try writing to him during that off window to see if he responds, if not then take your time responding when he writes. or few times write during that time so you can causally mention hey where you at

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malloryor
@malloryor
11 Years1,000+ PostsPisces

Comments: 7 · Posts: 1996 · Topics: 55
Posted by BeautyandTheBull
I'm trying to learn to relax . When is comes to things like this .. We aren't official ! But we are in the "talking stage" I get serious anxiety when I feel like someone I really care about isn't Responding back to me due to abandonment Issues Ive dealt with through out my life .. So sometimes I have to ask someone else how would they react to see if I'm overreacting . I know he has a life .. Just still a really scary thing for me ..
Omg girl I can relate and what most ladies ALWAYS say is "date multiple people" but I rarely find myself liking guys so I cant just date lol.

But try to relax, as long as he is coming back and not disappearing for too long i think you should be fine. But maybe more details on him, like age etc could help.

If he is disappearing everyday betweeen 6 pm and 9 am then yeahh I woulf be concerned.
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malloryor
@malloryor
11 Years1,000+ PostsPisces

Comments: 7 · Posts: 1996 · Topics: 55
OP i think 2 days of him stopping to text you at 3 pm is not that big of a red flag...sorry i read your post backwards but come on, 2 days...you act like he has done this consistently at 3 pm for 2 weeks. Give it a week and see if there is a pattern. Then after that week if it continues to be the same "he stops texting at 3 pm," ask him if he would be interested in getting drinks with you aftwr work...say 5 ish, primetime for happy hour. If he accepts then he probably has nothing super sketch going on other than he is getting off of work, probably hits the gym, eats and then crashes for the night.

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KAY
@BeautyandTheBull
11 YearsTaurus

Comments: 4 · Posts: 253 · Topics: 34
Posted by malloryor
OP i think 2 days of him stopping to text you at 3 pm is not that big of a red flag...sorry i read your post backwards but come on, 2 days...you act like he has done this consistently at 3 pm for 2 weeks. Give it a week and see if there is a pattern. Then after that week if it continues to be the same "he stops texting at 3 pm," ask him if he would be interested in getting drinks with you aftwr work...say 5 ish, primetime for happy hour. If he accepts then he probably has nothing super sketch going on other than he is getting off of work, probably hits the gym, eats and then crashes for the night.


I never use to worry so much until my ex just up and left me for his ex and then tried to come back after she cheated on him .. Just the fear of it happening to me again is what's driving me crazy .. Hopefully I'll heal from that so I can be normal again lol I I just be getting anxiety when he don't respond back .. But you guys are right ! Y'all knocked some sense into my head I'm overacting ! Lol
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KAY
@BeautyandTheBull
11 YearsTaurus

Comments: 4 · Posts: 253 · Topics: 34
Posted by malloryor
Posted by BeautyandTheBull
I'm trying to learn to relax . When is comes to things like this .. We aren't official ! But we are in the "talking stage" I get serious anxiety when I feel like someone I really care about isn't Responding back to me due to abandonment Issues Ive dealt with through out my life .. So sometimes I have to ask someone else how would they react to see if I'm overreacting . I know he has a life .. Just still a really scary thing for me ..

I'm the same way I can't date multiple dudes. Once I like

Omg girl I can relate and what most ladies ALWAYS say is "date multiple people" but I rarely find myself liking guys so I cant just date lol.

But try to relax, as long as he is coming back and not disappearing for too long i think you should be fine. But maybe more details on him, like age etc could help.

If he is disappearing everyday betweeen 6 pm and 9 am then yeahh I woulf be concerned.
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I'm the same way once I like someone I like them .. I don't even care to give anyone else the time of day ! I wish I had it like that or I wouldn't even be worrying about reponse from him ...
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KAY
@BeautyandTheBull
11 YearsTaurus

Comments: 4 · Posts: 253 · Topics: 34
Posted by RumiL
Posted by BeautyandTheBull
How would you feel about a man that seems to stop texting you around the same time for 2 days ? Would you feel llike he's up to something ? Or is it too early to feel like that's a red flag
Maybe he just got busy? Something came up in his life? Or maybe just felt lazy?

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He probably got busy .. You would think after a year of knowing him I would know how he is .. But ....