I am going crazy out of my mind.....

It seems my relationships never ever go well, no matter how dedicated I am or how hard I try. I am attempting to stay positive but this is starting to affect me and how I feel about myself in relationships. All of my relationships end, no matter how much they claim to love me or I care about them. Every single person I date tells me I am not affectionate enough, that I lack intimacy, aloof and cold. The thing is I am so dedicated in my relationships, I am very giving and always go out of my way to please my partner. I just within the last month lost someone I love very much. She felt I was too cold, lacked intimacy and not affectionate enough for her. I also believe some of my insecurities surfaced and it didnt help the matter. If there is someone who can take a look at our charts and give me advice or help me understand why it seems no matter how hard the person doesn't seem to get I care. I will post her chart and mine because even though we were very compatible we had major communication issues(?).. I didn't get it.



( THIS IS HER CHART)
Planetary positions

Sun
Aquarius
24??11'05
in house 10
direct



Moon
Cancer
8??01'19
in house 2
direct


Mercury
Aquarius
6??57'03
in house 9
direct



Venus
Capricorn
23??14'04
in house 8
direct


Mars
Scorpio
15??47'43
in house 6
direct



Jupiter
Capricorn
5??02'02
in house 7
direct



Saturn
Scorpio
16??16'54
in house 6
direct



Uranus
Sagittarius
13??03'59
in house 6
direct



Neptune
Capricorn
0??46'29
in house 7
direct



Pluto
Scorpio
2??06'33
end of house 5
retrograde



True Node
Gemini
13??12'35
in house 12
retrograde

( MY CHART)

Sun
Gemini
5??52'04
in house 3
direct

Moon
Pisces
10??41'14
in house 12
direct

Mercury
Gemini
28??40'26
in house 4
direct

Venus
Gemini
18??57'36
in house 3
direct

Mars
Taurus
23??33'13
in house 2
direct

Jupiter
Libra
0??26'43
in house 7
stationary 🍹

Saturn
Libra
3??03'46
in house 7
stationary 🍹

Uranus
Scorpio
27??46'09
in house 8
retrograde

Neptune
Sagittarius
23??58'11
end of house 9
retrograde



Pluto
Libra
21??52'12
in house 7
retrograde


True Node
Leo
3??23'53
in house 5
retrograde

Any help will be appreciated

Have you read through some of the aspects in your own chart? That's where I found alot of crap i didn't wan't to know. What about your lillth? Can't talk, I'm not you, but I feel slightly fucking insane too re relating to others atm 🙂

I too have a Pisces moon , and I feel that I'm very dedicated. My last two partners got very insecure on me I don't know what I did wrong, I have a bad relationship track record. I think I'm too nice and giving and that's where I go wrong.

But based on your sun and moon signs you should go together nicely. My last bf was a gem and he turned me and completely changed on me After 3 months. He turned cold and mean but started out warm and affectionate

the problem does not lie within your chart, and esepcially not another persons. the problem lies solely within you.

plushyfishff - I took the time and read through some of my aspects and it amazes me how deep astrology goes. How do I find my Lilith?

bkbella86- I can't stand that my moon is in Pisces! To me it's bad enough I have a Gem sun, Gem Mercury and Gem Venus, and when you add that pisces moon it makes me feel extra indecisive and split in two ALL THE TIME. I too think I am too nice and giving during relationships. I will sense something about a person, know they aren't good for me, yet still attempt to make it work out. As I get older I realize a lot of issues I dealt with in relationships I brought on myself and could of avoided it. Regarding your Gem ex I know they can be all into a person and affectionate, but if they find something they are not feeling can grow a little cold. Another thing is sometimes if I am dealing with some personal issues I can become cold and short in all of my relationships... whether platonic or more intimate.

aquaj- LOL at your ex Gem idea of being affectionate was putting his feet up on you LOL. I am so guilty and my lack of 80% of the reason my relationships don't work out. Either I am not giving them enough, or they want too much and I am not ready to give it. I am an excellent gift giver though and show my love and affection in that way. My sister told me that if I combine my gift giving with affection I would have my whoever I am dating all over me. Question... was your Gem's lack of affection the reason you guys didn't work out? How did it make you feel that he wasn't very affectionate? I thought Aquas was okay with people who aren't all touchy feely because they themselves are sort of aloof and enjoy space??
and what does a "sun trine Saturn" mean?

LittleAquanot - All I can say is WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW!! You have really opened my eyes to some stuff here. I never new astrology gets so intricate and detailed like this. I only ever focused on sun,moon,merc,venus & mars. I would see people post about " this house and that house" but never really took the time to read up on it. It is also mind boggling that you happen to have you moon in pisces as well as saturn in the 7th house and pluto in the seventh. I really feel like you can understand me and where I am coming from. I began to realize I was the problem and had actually made me an appointment to see a therapist. It is crazy to me how I can care about, be dedicated and love someone yet can't show it.

Inluvgem...it's that damn saturn in the 7th house!!!! I'm telling you. Mine is the same but in Gemini & I have been accused of some of the same things...I sooooooo feel your pain hun.

...

Each time I go through a break- up, it messes me up a little more mentally and emotionally. Mentally because I wonder wtf is wrong with me and emotionally because I REALLY DID put my all into it working out. It got so bad to the point where my ex girlfriend told me I wasn't even affectionate during sex!! How can someone not show emotion during sex? Littleaquanot, how do you keep a healthy relationship? Have you ever experienced one where you was very affectionate, loving and emotional? With one of my exes I actually started making an effort to show her some love, but whenever I would sit on her lap or kiss her, she would look so shocked that it would make me uncomfortable. The she would ask was something wrong! LOL... all that did was make me get up. It seems the only time I open up more is when the person is totally fed up and walking away.

I read up on Saturn in the 7th house and it was very accurate and maddening!! It's not enough that I have a freaking Pisces moon making it even more difficult to center myself, but I had to have " doom in the 7th house". I know some other people that need some hard lessons and deserve this placement way more than I do LOL. Haven't I payed my dues yet... geesh. From what I read the 7th house governs your relationships... who you are and who you attract I believe. One site I read said the traits and characteristics that was rejected from your ascendent sign in placed in your 7th house until you reunite at a later time. So someone will have like a virgo ascendent, and pisces as the "sign" in their 7th house and the those pisces traits are the ones they need to get in touch with or they tend to draw pisces to them. So, the 7th house is is like a mirror of sorts. IDK... I am still kind of confused about it all. I am attempting to change my relationship habits and become more open, but it is so hard because it is such a part of me. I try all the time and get frustrated when I cant open up.

http://sasstrology.com/2011/02/saturn-in-the-7th-house-single-forever.html<BR>
This was actually pretty helpful as well.

The seventh house rules partnerships and marriages. That is, the seventh house reveals the way you relate to your closest friend/partner or enemy. This house opposes the first. The first house signifies the way you project your energies towards others, while the seventh house signifies the energies you project onto others, and the energies you are looking for in a close relationship. You can think of it as that part of your own energies you want resonated or boomeranged from your partner. The seventh, Libra, and Venus are all related. Venus rules relationships involving warmth and love.

The seventh house is not naturally connected to love. Successful marriages are a combination of seventh house (partnership) and fifth house self-expression (love). Saturn in the seventh house may mean a number of things. If we follow the energy resonance line of thinking then you are probably drawn to saturnine people. You may very well have fewer relationships. While in a relationship you may feel weighed down by a sense of responsibility which may turn you off relationships. Or, you may find it difficult to build bridges with someone else.

That may in turn keep you away from relationships. Don't let this happen to you. Be aware of your predilection. Know that you might be the kind of person who takes relationships more seriously than most. Be aware that your sense of responsibility makes you a very good partner. Your partner benefits from your attitude. Advertise yourself as someone who might not get into relationships easily but when you do, they last forever.

Sutekh- interesting, are you about to give a little more detail about your comment? It would be appreciated

RealTalk- Thanks for the amazing information you have shared with me. How do you deal with this placement?
Based on the article above, when it talks about projection and so on, would the energies I project be my Libra in the 7th house? would I be drawn to partner with Libra qualities? Reading up on this is showing me certain patterns in my relationship I never really paid attention to.

Sutekh, I meant are you able* to give a little more detail

Posted by inluvgem
Sutekh- interesting, are you about to give a little more detail about your comment? It would be appreciated

RealTalk- Thanks for the amazing information you have shared with me. How do you deal with this placement?
Based on the article above, when it talks about projection and so on, would the energies I project be my Libra in the 7th house? would I be drawn to partner with Libra qualities? Reading up on this is showing me certain patterns in my relationship I never really paid attention to.

Well, I actually just learned of this. I was never into astrology before but I must say it's quite interesting & has some valid points. I never understood the houses either (still confusing) but I'm learning so I never really dealt with the placement because I had no idea it existed until recently.

I just believe once you pinpoint exactly where the problem lies within yourself, you'd need to work on that area. Yes you will be drawn to someone with Libra qualities. I would always wonder to myself why I'd get bored if I was with someone everyday, even if I really loved them. I would also wonder why I couldn't make up my mind in relationships, aloof behavior, I just attributed it to the fact that I'm a Virgo. But I knew something was off because a "typical" Virgo is usually not so scattered. Things are in order, lol.

So that explains why I am also attracted to guys that exhibit Gemini qualities & I never understood it. It also showed me certain patterns in MY relationships that I need to work on.

Not to mention my damn Venus in Libra...what a mess! 😛

My venus is in Gemini and I tend to be attracted to the norm regarding what a Gem seeks in a partner. I look for intelligence, different, mentally stimulates me and loyal. I also seek out partners who can make me "feel", because that is so rare for me. I love affectionate partners, who are loving, and very verbal regarding their feelings. Reading up on Saturn and pluto in my 7th house has been an eye opener. I also found that my sun squares my moon and read up on that.. which was another huge eye opener. This stuff really is interesting and could get depressing, however I am excited about starting on my journey of self-awareness, breaking self destructive habits and discovering my true self. When my ex and I met there was such a strong connection and we both felt like we had met before. We agreed that we met for a reason and there was something we needed from each other. Before we broke up she told me I was teaching her to be more optimistic and see character flaws others pointed out but she denied. I can honestly say because of her I decided to look up my chart and figure out what was going on with me. She pointed out how I project, she told me I dont accept myself and wasn't happy. She told me I deserve love and needed to love myself. I realize this will be a tough battle it seems, but I am sooooo over being extra and holding back. It only ever brings pain.

Well then, dont hold back

Posted by inluvgem
My venus is in Gemini and I tend to be attracted to the norm regarding what a Gem seeks in a partner. I look for intelligence, different, mentally stimulates me and loyal. I also seek out partners who can make me "feel", because that is so rare for me. I love affectionate partners, who are loving, and very verbal regarding their feelings. Reading up on Saturn and pluto in my 7th house has been an eye opener. I also found that my sun squares my moon and read up on that.. which was another huge eye opener. This stuff really is interesting and could get depressing, however I am excited about starting on my journey of self-awareness, breaking self destructive habits and discovering my true self. When my ex and I met there was such a strong connection and we both felt like we had met before. We agreed that we met for a reason and there was something we needed from each other. Before we broke up she told me I was teaching her to be more optimistic and see character flaws others pointed out but she denied. I can honestly say because of her I decided to look up my chart and figure out what was going on with me. She pointed out how I project, she told me I dont accept myself and wasn't happy. She told me I deserve love and needed to love myself. I realize this will be a tough battle it seems, but I am sooooo over being extra and holding back. It only ever brings pain.

Exactly. I held back alot!!! To the point where in areas of my relationships, guys thought I wasn't into them. That's just one of the areas I've been working on. I've tried opening up more & communicating more. Holding back is detrimental because the other person doesn't know how to read you & they may be thinking something about you that is farthest from the truth, whereas you're like I'm not doing anything wrong. I just want to love you & be with you. They're thinking you don't care because you're not sharing. Not always good to keep someone guessing.

At least when you let them know exactly what it is you're thinking/feeling, they will have more of an understanding as to what they're dealing with, & can act accordingly. It's better to just express it & get it out there, rather than to waste time wondering. It will save alot of heartache.

I can't analyze charts to say where the problem lies however, like someone said earlier you have had several people tell you the same thing so I would inside. I mean, what are the chances that everyone who told you this had the same placements as the gf whose info you posted? The problem is not that your Pluto is opposed to her Saturn (if that would even matter), the problem seems to be your issues with intimacy.

You mention trying to show affection and your partner looking surprised and you got up... why? A look of surprise doesn't mean it was bad. I have been in relationships where affection was lacking and it is frustrating as hell. You may want to look into the love languages. Different people feel and show love differently. You said that you express it through giving gifts. That is one of the five basic languages. The others are affection/touch, affirmation/words, acts of service, and Quality time. The idea is that we all use each of these to varying degrees but we have one area which is more dominant. You said yours is gifts. Your partners seem to want more affection. Your choices are to either show more affection (speak their love language) or not to. You obviously don't have to change who you are but if you know what your partners language is you are equipped with the proper tools to make them feel loved and appreciated. Gifts do very little for me personally, I am an affection/time person. If throwing your feet over me is all the affection you give it doesn't matter how many gifts you buy me I won't feel a connection.

Librasid- I would get up because I felt uncomfortable about the person making a display of my being affectionate. I would not initially get up, but if the person keeps commenting on my sudden display of affections, then yes, I am out of there. I have no issue communicating and telling someone how I feel though. I am an excellent communicator, especially when it comes to writing letter, poems or even telling them. It is just the lack of affection. Not hugging my partner when we meet up, kissing them on the cheek, sitting up under them and stuff like that. It is something I now plan to work on, but I realize it goes deeper than just not wanting to be mushy.

LOL, you LURVED that man? too funny haha. How long did it take you to become open and affectionate with the love of your life? I have become affectionate in a relationship before, but it was after being together for over a year and by then she was fed up and wanted out.

Your words are very wise and I appreciate your advice. I don't think anything is wrong with me or I am cursed, but I do realize there are things about myself I need to confront. I am a little more aware of certain patterns, habits and feelings now and want to be sure I don't sweep them under the rug. I am attempting to be totally honest with myself at this point in my life, which is something I have never really done. Why don't I feel worthy to be love? why aren't I truly happy? Why is showing affection for me as mentally and emotionally straining as trying to push a boulder up a hill? I get really disappointed in myself when I am unable to connect with my family, friends and partners. Everythins is so shallow and I just want to release and exhale and all that good stuff people do. I don't think I will ever be super lovey dovey, but I do want to have healthy relationships and evolve. It seems the older I get the less open and affectionate I am lol.