Unaffectionate
This topic was created in the Astrology forum by thecrazyariestaurus on Saturday, December 10, 2016 and has 11 replies.
Does anyone else have this issue? I'm super unaffectionate, and it ruins my romantic relationships. I hate this quality about myself, but I was raised to think that affection is weird. I drove all my exes crazy, and they all thought I never cared about them. I'm just thinking about it, and I feel horrible. I'm trying to figure out what in my chart makes me like this. Can anyone else relate?
Posted by Lord-PaladinYou have a Virgo moon right? This kind of sounds like my ex who has a Virgo moon. I know mine definitely stems from how I was raised. I don't remember the last time my parents told me they loved me unfortunately. And anytime me or my bro's showed emotion like crying or being overly affectionate, we got yelled at. It's really unfortunate that my parents didn't consider that those actions would affect us in the future. I'm just trying to figure out how to get past it, but it's really hard for me. I feel awkward giving people hugs, or even calling my ex babe felt weird.
I think you may be surprised how many have this same issue, although the reasons aren't always the same. For my part, it stems from the fact that I get really nervous around gals I like and can act really weird, which makes them find me retarded or whatever -- it's not something I can explain in one or two sentences. I eventually learned to cut off my emotional response to them, but that only had a different but similar negative response. (EDIT) I can't reach the middle ground, unfortunately. And the problem has only grown with each rejection. There's a middle-ground, but I'd need a friggin' saint to help me find it at this point.
Posted by ParisianCappyI'll hug back so I don't seem rude, but internally I feel awkward. I feel uncomfortable.
how do you react when hug
Posted by SweetLily89I guess I just feel bad at the fact that they really felt unloved, and I caused that feeling. Every single ex has told me, "you don't really care do you? You don't love me. You don't act like it at all" and sadly, if I were in their shoes I would feel the same, so I get where they're coming from. I feel like no one is going to be able to handle that. I thought my recent ex could handle that, because we were very similar, but even he couldn't deal with it.
Ha! That's me. Honestly, I never thought I was that undemonstrative in my affections, but that seems to be a common denominator in my failed relationships. Affection wasn't exactly widely used in the family. So, it was just normal. Don't feel horrible, this is you. Accept yourself as is. We are all built differently and from an objective perspective, NO ONE can reasonably expect another person the behave and react as we wish them to. We all have our own love language. That's not to say there isn't room for improvement. We can all use a little bit of that. Try not to look for the answer in your chart. There is nothing wrong with you and there is nothing wrong or better about having a partner that is very affectionate. There is nothing to feel bad about. In the future, just try to remind yourself that relationships take work and sometimes we have to meet each other half way. Speaking a different love language is no different and in the future you may have to take a more active role in communicating your love in a way that they can understand if this becomes a problem again.
Posted by thecrazyariestaurusNo! I was told sex is for bad people my whole youth but it didn't affect me at all.
Does anyone else have this issue? I'm super unaffectionate, and it ruins my romantic relationships. I hate this quality about myself, but I was raised to think that affection is weird. I drove all my exes crazy, and they all thought I never cared about them. I'm just thinking about it, and I feel horrible. I'm trying to figure out what in my chart makes me like this. Can anyone else relate?
I think it's just you have not found right partner or you are gay. Finally you'll figure it out. No upbringing can change urges.
Just circumstances.
Posted by Lord-PaladinHAHA right? I had found a book when I was very young that said 'everything done in a bedroom is OK' and after all whatever my parents told me went out the window!Posted by GemitatiSeconded.Posted by thecrazyariestaurusNo! I was told sex is for bad people my whole youth but it didn't affect me at all.
Does anyone else have this issue? I'm super unaffectionate, and it ruins my romantic relationships. I hate this quality about myself, but I was raised to think that affection is weird. I drove all my exes crazy, and they all thought I never cared about them. I'm just thinking about it, and I feel horrible. I'm trying to figure out what in my chart makes me like this. Can anyone else relate?
I think it's just you have not found right partner or you are gay. Finally you'll figure it out. No upbringing can change urges.
Just circumstances.click to expand
They did tell me to read A LOT! And I did so...
Posted by thecrazyariestauruspractice intimacy with friends and loved ones. Hugs, smiles, revealing yourself. It will take time, but you will be happier
Does anyone else have this issue? I'm super unaffectionate, and it ruins my romantic relationships. I hate this quality about myself, but I was raised to think that affection is weird. I drove all my exes crazy, and they all thought I never cared about them. I'm just thinking about it, and I feel horrible. I'm trying to figure out what in my chart makes me like this. Can anyone else relate?
Posted by Lord-Paladin?Posted by SweetLily89Yeah, matrimonial traditions are strangely outdated... Honestly, I think they're an unnecessary cost; you want to spend your life with someone, no piece of paper is going to make you want that *more.* It's just ridiculous reasoning to cover up the modern continuation of ancient and patriarchally-favored system. A vow is a vow; you either keep it or you don't. If your family loses two goats and a bolt of silk because you don't dig your partner, maybe they should move to 2016 with the rest of us.Posted by Lord-PaladinLarge? Are you mad?! If we didn't need witnesses, I'd be fine with a justice of the peace.Posted by SweetLily89... So, we having a small wedding or large? >_>Posted by Lord-PaladinOoo la la! Virgo Moon, Rising, Mars and Venus herePosted by SweetLily89I iz dat, yuz! Virgo Sun, Moon, Mercury and Mars.
@Lord-Paladin you're a Virgo Mooney too?!
click to expand
Good stuff.
Posted by MontgomeryPosted by Lord-Paladin?Posted by SweetLily89Yeah, matrimonial traditions are strangely outdated... Honestly, I think they're an unnecessary cost; you want to spend your life with someone, no piece of paper is going to make you want that *more.* It's just ridiculous reasoning to cover up the modern continuation of ancient and patriarchally-favored system. A vow is a vow; you either keep it or you don't. If your family loses two goats and a bolt of silk because you don't dig your partner, maybe they should move to 2016 with the rest of us.Posted by Lord-PaladinLarge? Are you mad?! If we didn't need witnesses, I'd be fine with a justice of the peace.Posted by SweetLily89... So, we having a small wedding or large? >_>Posted by Lord-PaladinOoo la la! Virgo Moon, Rising, Mars and Venus herePosted by SweetLily89I iz dat, yuz! Virgo Sun, Moon, Mercury and Mars.
@Lord-Paladin you're a Virgo Mooney too?!
Good stuff.click to expand
I agree!
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Comments: 1 · Posts: 16583 · Topics: 222
Posted by thecrazyariestaurusPeople who are unaffectionate is from their childhood no doubt and find people to compensate in that what they lack in one and need to find one that is more than them.
Does anyone else have this issue? I'm super unaffectionate, and it ruins my romantic relationships. I hate this quality about myself, but I was raised to think that affection is weird. I drove all my exes crazy, and they all thought I never cared about them. I'm just thinking about it, and I feel horrible. I'm trying to figure out what in my chart makes me like this. Can anyone else relate?
hmm.. astrologically speaking 
do you have any harsh aspects to moon or venus?
do you have any harsh aspects to moon or venus?
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