Bull-ish
@Boots1313
7 Years1,000+ Posts
Comments: 2429 · Posts: 2637 · Topics: 65
Just a vent, a rant a way to ease my mind...
Hey, major shit went down. You don’t just wake up the next day with rainbows coming out your ass. These things take time.
Glad your man is sticking by you.
And your ‘friends’ ghosting you is a blessing in disguise. Knowing who your ride or die is, is most certainly a blessing.
Glad your man is sticking by you.
And your ‘friends’ ghosting you is a blessing in disguise. Knowing who your ride or die is, is most certainly a blessing.
Maybe even though your past with your ex wasn't traumatic, you didn't give yourself time to really heal and grow. Instead pushing into new relationships, maybe it creates a sense of falseness.
Perhaps the complacency is getting to you. Maybe you have all you want but not what you need.
Perhaps the complacency is getting to you. Maybe you have all you want but not what you need.
Posted by AnotherTaurusGuyReturnsPosted by LadyNeptune
Hey, major shit went down. You don’t just wake up the next day with rainbows coming out your ass.
I don’t want rainbows coming out of my ass any day.click to expand
Don’t knock it till you’ve tried it 😏
Btw just to clarify I dont miss my ex. The reason I stated that was to make it known I got burned really bad, when I didnt expect it. So now I'm super guarded when someone good is in my life because I just fear he will do the same.
Also I need to stop thinking these crazy thoughts. For example my boyfriend just called me to tell me that he bought me Subway. You got me a bacon chicken ranch sandwich. I've never eaten the bacon chicken ranch from Subway in front of him ever I always got chicken teriyaki. Now I'm wondering who usually gets the bacon chicken ranch?... I should really just accept it for the nice gesture it is instead of wondering in my head what girl gets the chicken bacon ranch that he's confusing me with
U should've dated a virgo
Posted by -MadHatter-Posted by Boots1313
Also I need to stop thinking these crazy thoughts. For example my boyfriend just called me to tell me that he bought me Subway. You got me a bacon chicken ranch sandwich. I've never eaten the bacon chicken ranch from Subway in front of him ever I always got chicken teriyaki. Now I'm wondering who usually gets the bacon chicken ranch?... I should really just accept it for the nice gesture it is instead of wondering in my head what girl gets the chicken bacon ranch that he's confusing me with
Goddamnit! Taurus, maybe they were just out of teriyaki sauce. Sometimes a sandwich is just a sandwichclick to expand
Haha i know dude...its food. Yall know I'll eat it anyway...
But I just think crazy.
Plus he's a dude, hes trying
Posted by 777
U should've dated a virgo
Been there, done that like 5xs
Posted by AnotherTaurusGuyReturnsPosted by -MadHatter-Posted by Boots1313
Also I need to stop thinking these crazy thoughts. For example my boyfriend just called me to tell me that he bought me Subway. You got me a bacon chicken ranch sandwich. I've never eaten the bacon chicken ranch from Subway in front of him ever I always got chicken teriyaki. Now I'm wondering who usually gets the bacon chicken ranch?... I should really just accept it for the nice gesture it is instead of wondering in my head what girl gets the chicken bacon ranch that he's confusing me with
Goddamnit! Taurus, maybe they were just out of teriyaki sauce. Sometimes a sandwich is just a sandwich
Any sandwich is good....unless it’s got egg in it....or seafood.click to expand
The sandwich was great. But where did he come up with that...I always order the same thing. ...he got the banana peppers right.
I just gave him a big hug and said thank you...I'm starving.
But a part of me is like...who has he been getting subway for? 🤔
Posted by AnotherTaurusGuyReturnsPosted by Boots1313Posted by AnotherTaurusGuyReturnsPosted by -MadHatter-Posted by Boots1313
Also I need to stop thinking these crazy thoughts. For example my boyfriend just called me to tell me that he bought me Subway. You got me a bacon chicken ranch sandwich. I've never eaten the bacon chicken ranch from Subway in front of him ever I always got chicken teriyaki. Now I'm wondering who usually gets the bacon chicken ranch?... I should really just accept it for the nice gesture it is instead of wondering in my head what girl gets the chicken bacon ranch that he's confusing me with
Goddamnit! Taurus, maybe they were just out of teriyaki sauce. Sometimes a sandwich is just a sandwich
Any sandwich is good....unless it’s got egg in it....or seafood.
The sandwich was great. But where did he come up with that...I always order the same thing. ...he got the banana peppers right.
I just gave him a big hug and said thank you...I'm starving.
But a part of me is like...who has he been getting subway for? 🤔
Just you 🙂 Probably just guessed what you would like. Sometimes us guys can be dense, even if you order the same thing every time.click to expand
Yea, that's what I'm telling myself
you know i like you boots but i have to be honest, you sound like a spoiled, entitled baby.
and you're not that person.
you could have really serious problems. awful things happen in life and here you are with a job, your health, a promotion, a supportive boyfriend and a mother that is on your side and instead you are worrying about a sandwich and if it was bought with someone else in mind?
are you serious?
sort your shit out.
you have a job and a place to stay. deal with getting your debt under control. get yourself some health insurance so you see a doctor to help with your anxiety. if you can't afford insurance i'm sure there is a community clinic/ charity that might be able to help you. if you feel depressed, even if you don't feel worthy or up to it, find some help even if it means calling the samaritans free phone line.
you want things to change then its up to you to change it. you already have all you need for a better life.
if things don't change then that's down to you as well too.
i know you didn't want advice but instead wanted to take a moment to feel bad about yourself and your life but honestly, go out and volunteer with the homessless and/or the poor and/or the dying and then come back here with a straight face and tell us about the downward spiral you find yourself in.
and you're not that person.
you could have really serious problems. awful things happen in life and here you are with a job, your health, a promotion, a supportive boyfriend and a mother that is on your side and instead you are worrying about a sandwich and if it was bought with someone else in mind?
are you serious?
sort your shit out.
you have a job and a place to stay. deal with getting your debt under control. get yourself some health insurance so you see a doctor to help with your anxiety. if you can't afford insurance i'm sure there is a community clinic/ charity that might be able to help you. if you feel depressed, even if you don't feel worthy or up to it, find some help even if it means calling the samaritans free phone line.
you want things to change then its up to you to change it. you already have all you need for a better life.
if things don't change then that's down to you as well too.
i know you didn't want advice but instead wanted to take a moment to feel bad about yourself and your life but honestly, go out and volunteer with the homessless and/or the poor and/or the dying and then come back here with a straight face and tell us about the downward spiral you find yourself in.
Posted by jeane
you know i like you boots but i have to be honest, you sound like a spoiled, entitled baby.
and you're not that person.
you could have really serious problems. awful things happen in life and here you are with a job, your health, a promotion, a supportive boyfriend and a mother that is on your side and instead you are worrying about a sandwich and if it was bought with someone else in mind?
are you serious?
sort your shit out.
you have a job and a place to stay. deal with getting your debt under control. get yourself some health insurance so you see a doctor to help with your anxiety. if you can't afford insurance i'm sure there is a community clinic/ charity that might be able to help you. if you feel depressed, even if you don't feel worthy or up to it, find some help even if it means calling the samaritans free phone line.
you want things to change then its up to you to change it. you already have all you need for a better life.
if things don't change then that's down to you as well too.
i know you didn't want advice but instead wanted to take a moment to feel bad about yourself and your life but honestly, go out and volunteer with the homessless and/or the poor and/or the dying and then come back here with a straight face and tell us about the downward spiral you find yourself in.
🤔 *slap across the face*
You are 100% right. The funny thing about depression and sorrow is there may not be any real reason for it.
Trust me I'm well aware my issues and struggles are in no comparison to what other people are going through.
However, my mental state is very real. I havent been able to get out of bed. I know I need to make a change it's just extremely hard right now.
Today after work, I have paid off a bill or two and looked into "free therapy". I didnt realize all the options available like the above you have mentioned and list reading that has given me a bit of a pep and encouragement.
Btw, I have worked with the homeless. I use to do art therapy in a shelter as well as with dementia, alzheimer's patients. My last job of the sort was in a mental institution. So I do have real world knowledge of others struggles and people who are in much more dire straights.
I think this is beyond feeling sorry. My father and grandfather both have suffered from mental illness in their early 30s and perhaps I do need to take that step and get evaliated.
Either way. As always I appreciate you input and words. Even when you are giving me tough "love"
Posted by Boots1313Posted by jeane
you know i like you boots but i have to be honest, you sound like a spoiled, entitled baby.
and you're not that person.
you could have really serious problems. awful things happen in life and here you are with a job, your health, a promotion, a supportive boyfriend and a mother that is on your side and instead you are worrying about a sandwich and if it was bought with someone else in mind?
are you serious?
sort your shit out.
you have a job and a place to stay. deal with getting your debt under control. get yourself some health insurance so you see a doctor to help with your anxiety. if you can't afford insurance i'm sure there is a community clinic/ charity that might be able to help you. if you feel depressed, even if you don't feel worthy or up to it, find some help even if it means calling the samaritans free phone line.
you want things to change then its up to you to change it. you already have all you need for a better life.
if things don't change then that's down to you as well too.
i know you didn't want advice but instead wanted to take a moment to feel bad about yourself and your life but honestly, go out and volunteer with the homessless and/or the poor and/or the dying and then come back here with a straight face and tell us about the downward spiral you find yourself in.
🤔 *slap across the face*
You are 100% right. The funny thing about depression and sorrow is there may not be any real reason for it.
Trust me I'm well aware my issues and struggles are in no comparison to what other people are going through.
However, my mental state is very real. I havent been able to get out of bed. I know I need to make a change it's just extremely hard right now.
Today after work, I have paid off a bill or two and looked into "free therapy". I didnt realize all the options available like the above you have mentioned and list reading that has given me a bit of a pep and encouragement.
Btw, I have worked with the homeless. I use to do art therapy in a shelter as well as with dementia, alzheimer's patients. My last job of the sort was in a mental institution. So I do have real world knowledge of others struggles and people who are in much more dire straights.
I think this is beyond feeling sorry. My father and grandfather both have suffered from mental illness in their early 30s and perhaps I do need to take that step and get evaliated.
Either way. As always I appreciate you input and words. Even when you are giving me tough "love"click to expand
i don't doubt that you are dealing with genuine mental health issues but you have the means to do something about it. i know that is hard when you are feeling this way but it doesn't change the fact that it's up to you to fix yourself. no one can do it for you - not your boyfriend, your mother or your friends. you're an adult now. you are responsible for you. shit happens to all of us. we each have to forge our own path to overcoming whatever obstacle is in our way, even if it feels insurmountable and underneath the current haze, you know, deep down, that life doesn't have to be this way.
i'm glad you taken some steps in finding some help. once you get on top of this there is no stopping you.
Posted by s_i_e_r_r_a
your friends are fair-weather
and your cheating ex was boring anyway
you get to hangout with your mom
and have a boyfriend who sticks by you
so i don't really see the problem here besides the money that you're young enough to still make
Smart comment
Posted by Boots1313Posted by jeane
you know i like you boots but i have to be honest, you sound like a spoiled, entitled baby.
and you're not that person.
you could have really serious problems. awful things happen in life and here you are with a job, your health, a promotion, a supportive boyfriend and a mother that is on your side and instead you are worrying about a sandwich and if it was bought with someone else in mind?
are you serious?
sort your shit out.
you have a job and a place to stay. deal with getting your debt under control. get yourself some health insurance so you see a doctor to help with your anxiety. if you can't afford insurance i'm sure there is a community clinic/ charity that might be able to help you. if you feel depressed, even if you don't feel worthy or up to it, find some help even if it means calling the samaritans free phone line.
you want things to change then its up to you to change it. you already have all you need for a better life.
if things don't change then that's down to you as well too.
i know you didn't want advice but instead wanted to take a moment to feel bad about yourself and your life but honestly, go out and volunteer with the homessless and/or the poor and/or the dying and then come back here with a straight face and tell us about the downward spiral you find yourself in.
🤔 *slap across the face*
You are 100% right. The funny thing about depression and sorrow is there may not be any real reason for it.
Trust me I'm well aware my issues and struggles are in no comparison to what other people are going through.
However, my mental state is very real. I havent been able to get out of bed. I know I need to make a change it's just extremely hard right now.
Today after work, I have paid off a bill or two and looked into "free therapy". I didnt realize all the options available like the above you have mentioned and list reading that has given me a bit of a pep and encouragement.
Btw, I have worked with the homeless. I use to do art therapy in a shelter as well as with dementia, alzheimer's patients. My last job of the sort was in a mental institution. So I do have real world knowledge of others struggles and people who are in much more dire straights.
I think this is beyond feeling sorry. My father and grandfather both have suffered from mental illness in their early 30s and perhaps I do need to take that step and get evaliated.
Either way. As always I appreciate you input and words. Even when you are giving me tough "love"click to expand
Please believe me when I tell you to start with exercise. Your mind and body need to be in sync. Even if you pop an exercise video in or watch one on YouTube... you'll begin to want to do it. Walk with weights... ride a bike... even if for just 15 mins. It will do your mind and mood a hella good. And, it will get better everyday.
Keep a journal of all the crazy thoughts. Let it flow unfettered. But, end it each time with what you are thankful for.
It seems like you feel a void, like you haven't accomplished anything. This is your first time feeling really down it seems. It may not be the last. Conquer this and you will feel strong again.
I don't think you should feel necessitated to justify your own pain which, imo, makes you antagonize your mental revision. I feel like one of the reasons many people remain silent about their struggles or mental illness is because of guilt, thinking "other people have it much worse than I do, how dare I feel this way, I'm ridiculous and I should fix myself asap".
I'm hesitant this is the way to develop and reach a sense of peace... Because when you're in a dark period of your life, peace of mind is what you lack. Your mind can turn into a very dark, harsh and hostile place. If anything, self-awareness and self-criticism amplify so you start feeling guilty and become extremely hard on yourself, yet that's a huge deviation from the path of acceptance... and without acceptance, you can't truly have peace.
Basically, given how powerful the mind is, the internal battle people with anxiety disorder go through is depressingly exhausting, hence, imo, the last thing you need is hearing someone repeat what you constantly hear in your head. Yes, it's a wake-up call but the actions you're prompt to undertake seem forced, unnatural & anxious. It's like fighting anxiety with feelings of anxiety and getting even more anxious that your anxiety is still there
This is not to say, lie in bed and cry for months. What I'm saying is:
it's okay to feel like this, your feelings are only yours and no one else can experience them the way you do. Mental states vary and they're all part of our lives. So why consider the negative ones as a failure? My advice is to face everything that bothers you while being relaxed, feel it and/or analyze it, ask yourself questions (even if uncomfortable) and look for answers. Take the time you need... Once you have clear answers, don't go back in there. Try to gradually shift your focus on the answers and possible solutions. You don't have to "change" right now. In fact, you don't have to become a whole new person or even worse, the old you. Look at it as a transformative process: for instance, today you welcomed one single positive thought. You're already doing great! Let's say, the next day the positive thought is gone again... don't worry, one step back is not a sign of weakness, it's part of the process! You got this. : )
I'm hesitant this is the way to develop and reach a sense of peace... Because when you're in a dark period of your life, peace of mind is what you lack. Your mind can turn into a very dark, harsh and hostile place. If anything, self-awareness and self-criticism amplify so you start feeling guilty and become extremely hard on yourself, yet that's a huge deviation from the path of acceptance... and without acceptance, you can't truly have peace.
Basically, given how powerful the mind is, the internal battle people with anxiety disorder go through is depressingly exhausting, hence, imo, the last thing you need is hearing someone repeat what you constantly hear in your head. Yes, it's a wake-up call but the actions you're prompt to undertake seem forced, unnatural & anxious. It's like fighting anxiety with feelings of anxiety and getting even more anxious that your anxiety is still there
This is not to say, lie in bed and cry for months. What I'm saying is:
it's okay to feel like this, your feelings are only yours and no one else can experience them the way you do. Mental states vary and they're all part of our lives. So why consider the negative ones as a failure? My advice is to face everything that bothers you while being relaxed, feel it and/or analyze it, ask yourself questions (even if uncomfortable) and look for answers. Take the time you need... Once you have clear answers, don't go back in there. Try to gradually shift your focus on the answers and possible solutions. You don't have to "change" right now. In fact, you don't have to become a whole new person or even worse, the old you. Look at it as a transformative process: for instance, today you welcomed one single positive thought. You're already doing great! Let's say, the next day the positive thought is gone again... don't worry, one step back is not a sign of weakness, it's part of the process! You got this. : )
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I had a good relationship with my ex. In retrospect it was boring and mundane but when I was in it it was fine. I had my finance's in order. A surplus in my bank account. My friendships were flourishing, I was happy with myself, and spending time on myself. We were saving to buy a house. We want on nice vacations and owned property upstate, our own little slice of heaven. I had my whole life figured out and I liked the way our future looked.
He turned around to me one day and said "I'm not sure I really ever loved you", I left with the clothes on my back and later found out there was another girl. I was crushed but I vowed to find a better love, a bigger love. A real love.
In a year, I changes my life. I made new friends. I put myself out there. Attended events and social gatherings. I moved to my own place. I dated a nice guy (it just didnt work but he was a good guy to meet) and then I found my match, the man whom I want to be with forever.
So why an I more sad, unmotivated and I a a spiral? My anxiety is at an all time high, my fears of rejection and abandonment is out of control. In self sabotaging my perfect qnd happy relationships. I'm picking fights with my s.o daily. I got a promotion at work but I cant concentrate on anything. I'm broke, in debt. Blew thiugh my savings and I moved back in with my mom. My life is never ending boxes and I sleep 12 hours a day. Go to work, eat. Repeat.
My boyfriend is aticking by me, even though I think uts unfair and I tell him if he leaves k understand. Hes frustrated, I'm exhausted and I just cant pull my self out if it. I hate victimhood but this one I cant stop.
I dont have insurance...I've become reclusive. My friends dont talk to me. And honestly I'm just not strong enough to help myself