cancer and cancer relationship troubles

Posted by sweetpea2977

Even through your confusion, be sure NOT to chase this man. He is coming and going, popping up and disappearing as if your feelings don't matter. Women teach men how to treat them. So, no more text messages, questions etc. Move forward.

Posted by saggurl88

Posted by sweetpea2977

Even through your confusion, be sure NOT to chase this man. He is coming and going, popping up and disappearing as if your feelings don't matter. Women teach men how to treat them. So, no more text messages, questions etc. Move forward.

Your Sag energy is so strong lol. She’s a Cancer, she’s not gonna be able to do that so easily.

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Posted by Vicktoria

"at lunch he was a complete gentleman. he asked me right away when i was planning on leaving my job. (i think the high end clientele there intimidates him a bit since he isn’t where he’d like to be in his life as yet)"


He's intimidated by your job? Red flag and goodbye.



"after this interaction he didn’t text or call when he was there or when he got back. since, he hasn’t pursued me or tried to hold a proper conversation with me. on Christmas Eve i sent him a really sweet note outlining how vulnerable i’m trying to being and how much i believe and support him even if he isn’t where he’d like to be. ultimately confessing that i want things to be as they once were, let’s start over and i’m fighting. he wrote back saying “he very much appreciated the kind words”. but nothing about anything else i wrote.


i’m so confused.."



I read your post and I honestly think you should stop kissing his ass. You keep telling him you support him and he wants you to leave your job? He sounds immature, insecure and isn't ready for a relationship.

Posted by Erin

I am a Cancer woman and I don't chase. It becomes so much easier once you realize there is nothing confusing about it. A guy who really wants you will make you feel so secure that you feel a bit smothered/overwhelmed and you probably already know it.


Chasing guys you know deep down don't give a crap about you is damaging to the soul.


"i’m almost embarrassed to message now. i’ve put my heart on the line in the last message and i feeling like an idiot. i’m so hurt."


Damage to the soul ^


Have you ever had anything real develop from this kind of painful, wishy-washy shit? Because I have not.

Posted by Erin

I am a Cancer woman and I don't chase. It becomes so much easier once you realize there is nothing confusing about it. A guy who really wants you will make you feel so secure that you feel a bit smothered/overwhelmed and you probably already know it.


Chasing guys you know deep down don't give a crap about you is damaging to the soul.


"i’m almost embarrassed to message now. i’ve put my heart on the line in the last message and i feeling like an idiot. i’m so hurt."


Damage to the soul ^


Have you ever had anything real develop from this kind of painful, wishy-washy shit? Because I have not.

Posted by MissKrabs

If someone is upset with me and don't want to tell me why, they better stop talking to me completely.

He has someone else on and off so he pretends to be mad or not mad anymore when it's convenient for him.

Posted by girliegirl

Hi there!


i’m having a bit of rough path with my cancer “friend” and i need some advice.

being a cancer woman we connected emotionally right off the bat. he pursued me and we would speak over the phone and FT everyday. he confessed rather early that he liked me and i was dangerous. he mentioned he wanted to do anything i wanted to do. he was emotionally available despite how much travelling he does with his job and even offered to fly me wherever he was working so that we could be close. things were going great until one day he became distant. months later we saw each other and he mentioned he was upset with me but wouldn’t say why. i was very confused by this, since i know for a fact i hadn’t done anything during the time we were on speaking terms.

i tried to probe playfully to get him to talk to me and open up about it. after a few days of that everything blew up into a crazy argument threw text. when i tried to call to have the discussion over the phone he avoided my calls and would text to said he was busy working. (he has never used his job as an excuse to not speak to me so this was hurtful). a week later i wrote him a very sweet note acknowledging my wrongs in the argument and apologized for pushing him before he wasn’t ready to talk. but also explained to him that he can talk to me about anything he doesn’t have to be shy about his feelings. he didn’t respond back.


obviously being a cancer woman i have been in my head and feelings like crazy since the first day we stopped talking.


we didn’t speak again for 2 months after that message. he never reached out and i just disappeared. recently i pocket dialled him and 2 days later he showed up at my work. i approached him and asked if he was still upset. he said “no, text me, let’s go to lunch and talk..”

i texted him a couple days later. he was very short. (which is understandable to an extent - we weren’t really the texting type) a couple days later i ask to meet him for lunch. he agreed to make time even though he was set to out for work later that day. at lunch he was a complete gentleman. he asked me right away when i was planning on leaving my job. (i think the high end clientele there intimidates him a bit since he isn’t where he’d like to be in his life as yet) we spoke about family, he asked me for advice on one of his business ventures. at one point i looked over at him drinking his drink and his hand was shaking and lips quivering. during our conversations he mentioned with conviction that i’m “very loving” and “easy to talk to”. he mentioned he plans to build a home for his parents, himself and retiring from his hectic job in a few years. in short it went really well. clearly the feelings were still there, no resentment or awkward tension. we literally interacted as if no time had passed. i offered to take him to the airport and he agreed and asked when we would go to eat next on me.

after this interaction he didn’t text or call when he was there or when he got back. since, he hasn’t pursued me or tried to hold a proper conversation with me. on Christmas Eve i sent him a really sweet note outlining how vulnerable i’m trying to being and how much i believe and support him even if he isn’t where he’d like to be. ultimately confessing that i want things to be as they once were, let’s start over and i’m fighting. he wrote back saying “he very much appreciated the kind words”. but nothing about anything else i wrote.


i’m so confused..

Posted by MissGemmi

He confessed his feelings to you. Have you ever confessed your feelings to him? Your approach to your relationship with him, sounds very BFF. Talking, calling, hanging out and you want it back to how it was.



^i’ve never friendzoned him. every time i’m around him i’ll pick things out his beard. give him kisses. hold his hand. take care of him. he knows my feelings for him. it’s obvious.



He told you how he feels (liking you, doing everything you want and being emotionally available). He doesn't want to go back to how it was, he wanted to take it to the next level. Could be that he feels like he is friendzoned. The things you said, are not the things he wants to hear. He wants to hear you've got the same feelings. Instead you were probing him to spill out more when he already told you how he feels.


^if he wanted to take it to the next level. why when it was going there he got upset over something so small and retreated. our most recent encounter i presses him about communicating when he’s bothered by something and he says to me “even when how i felt doesn’t make sense”

clearly he knows he was upset for no reason.

it’s like he’s sabotaging the relationship




On the other hand. I find cancers confusing AF. It's a lot of showing you the emotions, but never about showing and talking about true and real feelings they have for you.

Posted by VenusAquarius

Posted by girliegirl

Hi there!

Arguements tell alot about a person...

I reckon that something about you was revealed in your arguing style ...

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Posted by Arielle83

What’s a high end members club?

Posted by mars_in_cappy

I'm actually thinking your line of work is an issue for him?


^^^^i’m a bit insecure about that too. but he met me in there, so why should that be a problem now. at lunch i was very surprised to hear him ask me when i’m leaving, bc i’ve never mentioned that to him before and he hasn’t asked either. i’m assuming he was trying to insinuate without being so forward about it (cancers-shy people). i’m sure m also knows he can’t really ask me that unless he’s ready to move forward.

either way i made it very clear that i am willing to leave. he used to be in the hospitality industry himself for years before his career so he’s very empathetic to that world.


at lunch he spoke about opening another restaurant, asked for my advice on the operational side of things. he is very capable of taking me out of that world. he would have to secure things on his end first. he knows i’m a hard working woman, not the type to stay home and ask for money to do my nails. no offence or anything.



I've re-read your OP, if he's close to retiring? Is he an older guy? Maybe he had you pictured as part of a new life (changing his life?) he was planning?



@@@@ he’s 36, he wants to retire early. we talk about family. he knows the type of woman i am. he knows i’d make a sacrifice for family and how important it is to me.



I don't think he handles confrontation well.. The fact that you pocket dialled and he phoned after indicates he took an opportunity...



^^^@ i agree. as a female cancerian i was terrible with confrontation and communication my whole life. it’s just as i’ve gotten older that i’ve realized it does me an injustice hoarding feelings etc. but we all know as woman we evolve quicker.



Can't explain the two months before that though.


If you've sent the message recently and are feeling vulnerable, you might just have to sit with that for a while. It will eventually burn itself out.


I don't think you've done anything wrong. I'm not sure whether you want a r/ship with him,




% % % i want a relationship with him so bad. i see him as the father of my children. i haven’t felt this way about anyone ever in my 30 years. that’s why i don’t want to let this go.




and maybe there is a mismatch in expectations?


I'm confused as well now!

Posted by mars_in_cappy

Posted by MissGemmi

I find cancers confusing AF.

Tell me about it. I'm still recovering from one and it's taking a LOT longer than expected.

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Posted by mars_in_cappy

I think he likes you, wants a love r/ship with you?


You’ve got to find a way to move it forward, put it all on the line.


That way you'll know once and for all.