Afraid of Being Hurt and Rejected

Hello all

My cancer guy and I had a conversation today about why he pulls back. He said it's because he is afraid of being hurt. He said that the people he loves usually pull away from him, so he adopted a pattern of pulling away before they do.

As a capricorn, I have a tendency to over-analyze everything and I read too much into a simple situation LOL. So when I sense him pulling away, I pull away because I feel rejected. But he explained to me that he pulls away, because he feels I am rejecting him. Anyway, I am just wondering in what ways can I reassure him that it's safe to feel vunerable without trying too hard. I know that I can't do everything for him.. but what kind of reassurance do Cancers need?

Is it safe to call? or is it better to be aloof with a Cancer until they are ready to bounce back from a withdrawal?

"it's safe to feel vunerable"

That's never safe, CM .. for anybody no matter their element, add water to the scenerio and you might as well be dangling him off the side of a cliff with no rope.

Have you actually said this to him? Anything that has suggested that it's ok for him to feel vulnerable? If so, this might be why he pulled away.

"He said it's because he is afraid of being hurt."

too late....they've gone into their shells.......

wow i always run away when i start likeing a guy to much. i didnt know it was a cancer thing. its to scary to fall in love. im 20 n i still havent. theres this leo i like n im willin 2 take the risk wit him. finally im takin a risk.plus my dad was really bad n unfaithful 2 my mom so i always have gaurd up.it sux.i have issues.lol

moon eyes
thankx u made me feel better 🙂

oooooh.... lovies !! *catches lovies*

I agree moon - I think that's what makes them charming.... but you just have to remember that not everyone sees things the same way.... no one is good or bad - just different....

Good thread. Im starting to learn the "rejection factor" with a Cancer is a force to be reckoned with. They dont take words at face value but in their minds they dont believe that any time put in is sincere. This is like the hardest thing ever. I've sworn to him that I would NEVER reject him, but anything I do that even smells like rejection sends him running in fear. He is so hard shelled and emotionally delicate. Im starting to rethink if Im even the one for the job.

lol it said sometimes we're great sometimes we're doomed...seems pretty much to be how I feel about it. I think if he was more outgoing with his true deep feelings then we could move ahead but his silence is killing us.