Are cancer men known to run away!? Argh!!!

I'm a F Scorpio and fell in love with cancer man. From day one it was fireworks and the more we got to know each other, it was as if we were made for each other. I've never been pursued so romantically, honestly and whole heartily. We were long distance, but even through my logic and walls, he pushed through that and made me feel so safe and secure that he was going to protect me and everything would be okay...we would figure things out. his last serious relationship was also long distance, a few years...engaged, they broke things off bc they just weren't right for each other. I actually thought this was a strength of ours bc he had in fact gone through the long distance before, but little did I know, that would be the reason I'm writing this now...supposedly anyway!

About a month ago, things were still perfect. Then I slowly started noticing a change. A change in his texts, a change in his voice. He was getting distant and when I would try and talk to him about it, he would just sound down and say things like "I'm just sad. I dont know. You were just here and poof you're gone. I'm starting to realize how far away you actually are...". I would try and be the stronger one and support him through that, and it worked...I even gave him an out and told him to figure things out and he didn't take it. About a week later, I still noticed this wall and he finally just came out and said that it was too hard being long distance and it's emotionally exhausting and he can't bring himself to do it again.

My question for those of you who know cancers...I'm also a water sign and the reason I fell so deeply so quickly for him (which. I'm a Scorpio, I do not do that!!), was bc I felt I had found someone as emotionally deep as I am. I don't understand how he can be 1000% in and put in all this time and effort and then...poof! Be done. He sent me a few "I miss you" texts here and there through out this month...I let him have it the second time and he went into detail how he still loves me but just "can't" do long distance but wants to be friends. Whatever. Then, just the other day out of the blue he texts me asking me something...and then likes a picture on my Facebook.

I don't put myself out there very much, and I fought for this. Hell...me even writing this is still fighting behind the scenes I guess! I wrote emails, texts...and he just goes into his shell and avoids!? Avoids confrontation. But he's still somewhat around!? Smh. I dont know. Help!

how long was your relationship? was it always long distance? how did you meet? i'm also a female scorpio going through the cancer detachment thing since mine moved to a different state and it sucks! like you, i also fell fast and hard and knew right when i met him we would be compatible!! i can spot them, that's for sure! unlike your situation though, he was never really upfront emotionally. he would talk about his relationship style - monogamous, no cheating ever, etc., but that was about it. and that he wasn't superficial and liked sweet girls. ugh. i feel your pain, if that helps at all!! 🙂

Posted by Meechyscorp

About a month ago, things were still perfect. Then I slowly started noticing a change. A change in his texts, a change in his voice. He was getting distant and when I would try and talk to him about it, he would just sound down and say things like "I'm just sad. I dont know. You were just here and poof you're gone. I'm starting to realize how far away you actually are...". I would try and be the stronger one and support him through that, and it worked...I even gave him an out and told him to figure things out and he didn't take it. About a week later, I still noticed this wall and he finally just came out and said that it was too hard being long distance and it's emotionally exhausting and he can't bring himself to do it again.
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You mentioned that from the beginning that you guys were going to just "figure things out." Most Cancers are goal-oriented, so even in a committed relationship, you both have to have goals for what the relationship is going to end up being. He probably saw no end in sight to the long distance thing and with no solution he probably felt helpless. Cancers don't like feeling that way. They want to help and be solvers (especially Male Cancers). With no end in sight to your long distance, it probably looked like "forever long distance." They want a stable home life and all that comes with it. The fantasy, virtual-ity and romance only works for so long. Their key phrase is "I Feel" and if they feel that there's nothing that can be done, then it's no longer a valid option.

Plus, Cancers approach their romances sideways (like a crab). If they feel that there is reason to ask you to change your life, then they won't unless they're sure you're going to comply. Let's say that his solution was you to move near him. He would not put that idea out unless he was almost sure you would say yes.

i have never heard that cancers were goal-oriented!!! aquadiva - how did you discover that about them? wow, and that's news to me and i've read a lot about cancers recently trying to understand them. perhaps that is the problem with my cancer long distance guy...i know for certain that he tried long distance in the past and it did not work out so he was never going to do it again. i, at the time, had also done the long distance thing and felt the same way. after his move, my feelings changed and i would rather be in a long distance relationship with him then in no relationship at all. 🙂
haha, i would totally move to be with my cancer guy, but i doubt he would ever have the confidence to ask me. after i told him i loved him, he waited a month to ask me if i really loved him. wow, i was thinking to myself, geez, how could you not think i love you?!?! i thought actions spoke louder than words, i guess not with cancers!! i thought cancers were supposed to be great at picking up how you feel without having to express things verbally...

I agree w/ZipZap. With my crabby-buddy he was excited when we started to do business ventures together and there are other times when he just seems to perk up just when I add an end-game to it. We went looking for a house and it was like he wanted to go more than I did. He even picked some of the houses. Sometimes you can just mention something that they like or they want and just walk away. They will get up and start working on it even if you have totally walked out of the room and gone about your business. Cancers need a carrot dangled sometimes to get them renewed. Strategically placed, they can make for a great relationship.
@scorp - they do have a sense of knowing how people feel, but when it's too close they get cloudy. Think of women who are blind to what their kids do and end up in jail. They are still emotionally overwhelmed and are struggling with the fact that someone they thought they knew is changing their MO. When you throw in an "I Love You" before they're ready to admit, they have to process it before they can accept it. Most of the time when they are "intuitive" about people, they've already accepted their feeling about them. Cancers like to be in control of their feelings/emotions. They are the MASTERS of feelings & emotions, or so they like to pride themselves.

I went through a similar situation and I understand completely.

Goal oriented it true. I can't linger the same way for long and I need proof that it's going to come to a mutual happy ending.

I had a long distance relationship with a Libra. It was fine for a year but after a year I was frustrated was ready for him to move to me or me move to him. That's when all that was uncovered came to the light of day.

Cancer's aren't good with long-distance, we need our mate nearby. And inspire of what people think; we are very sexual and need to have regular sex. Naughty pics and masturbating on cam don't count. We want an emotional bond and to see you often, you can't do that long-distance!

OP he is having a problem with long distance, if you two can't find a way to be together then I say move on. He is still going to contact you because he can't turn his feelings off like a light switch.