Bye bye Cancer Man

This topic was created in the Cancer forum by notoverit on Monday, November 21, 2011 and has 81 replies.
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Ugh! I wanted it to work, but we can't do it. I think it is based less on his horoscope and more on the fact that he is a jerk!
He pretty much told me he can't ever tell women no! So if a woman comes on to him, it is pretty much a done deal I guess. So in return I said I don't want to be part of a harem! Not wanting anything serious is ok, but the fact that you will be sleeping around with bunches of women is a no no. He looked at me as if I was nuts!
Then proceeded to tell me, he can't ever walk away from past relationships, so if his ex calls he goes. So on that note.. I said I had to go. Then he proceeded to tell me he did not think I would go. I have not texted or called him, I'm through. He sends a text saying "what ever". I deleted, not sure what that meant or why.
I am a little crushed, but I guess it was not in the cards. I am not a Cancer hater, I think there are many good ones out there!
Take care crabs!
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Au revoir
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I'm not surprised...Aqua and Cancer just won't work unless tremendous effort is put into it and even then the odds are minimal it'll work. Try air another air sign or fire, even mutable can work but not water oh gosh it's water torture for sure for an Aqua.
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sounds like a douche.
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I agree with 1urban........I know of 2 Aqua man, Cancer female relationships. They have been married for over 10 yrs each.
So I dunno Tiki your god complex assumptions again might be off the money this time.
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LOL
You're right as usual
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Eh, not really gone.
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Posted by notoverit

He pretty much told me he can't ever tell women no! So if a woman comes on to him, it is pretty much a done deal I guess. So in return I said I don't want to be part of a harem! Not wanting anything serious is ok, but the fact that you will be sleeping around with bunches of women is a no no. He looked at me as if I was nuts!


This never ceases to amazing me...
Cancer, comes out and tells you straight up how it is... you are infuriated... you write him off!
Until he comes back... and you take him. I don't have an ex who wouldn't take me back and Cancers do it... BECAUSE THEY CAN!!!!!
I know the sex is good, but is it better than your self respect?
I don't like to repeat myself, so I'll tell you the truth once. It is not my fault if you don't believe me. In your other post you're trying to find hidden meaning in the fact that he's venting to you. Trying to find ways to "get" him to choose you and be the only one.
He already told you... you're not the only one. And he'll keep coming back to you and all the other women as long as you/they let him.
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Posted by shellshocker
Posted by notoverit

He pretty much told me he can't ever tell women no! So if a woman comes on to him, it is pretty much a done deal I guess. So in return I said I don't want to be part of a harem! Not wanting anything serious is ok, but the fact that you will be sleeping around with bunches of women is a no no. He looked at me as if I was nuts!


This never ceases to amazing me...
Cancer, comes out and tells you straight up how it is... you are infuriated... you write him off!
Until he comes back... and you take him. I don't have an ex who wouldn't take me back and Cancers do it... BECAUSE THEY CAN!!!!!
I know the sex is good, but is it better than your self respect?
I don't like to repeat myself, so I'll tell you the truth once. It is not my fault if you don't believe me. In your other post you're trying to find hidden meaning in the fact that he's venting to you. Trying to find ways to "get" him to choose you and be the only one.
He already told you... you're not the only one. And he'll keep coming back to you and all the other women as long as you/they let him.

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I know your right...
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Gleaned this from your other post:
"The Aquarius female is domineering and likes to run the
affair, making all the rules. She can be a heartless virago,
pressuring the man into submission until not a shred of his
self-respect is left. If he manages to escape her, she will be
prideless and masochistic in pursuing him until he returns.
Perversely, she will find the lover more precious if he does not want
her. Aquarians concentrate on one lover at a time until they become
tired. Both male and female grow to hate any lover who wants them
more than they want the lover. Remember, treat an Aquarian badly,
disappoint him, break appointments, keep your emotions hidden - they
will be captivated."
Sounds about right

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Posted by tiki33
Gleaned this from your other post:
"The Aquarius female is domineering and likes to run the
affair, making all the rules. She can be a heartless virago,
pressuring the man into submission until not a shred of his
self-respect is left. If he manages to escape her, she will be
prideless and masochistic in pursuing him until he returns.
Perversely, she will find the lover more precious if he does not want
her. Aquarians concentrate on one lover at a time until they become
tired. Both male and female grow to hate any lover who wants them
more than they want the lover. Remember, treat an Aquarian badly,
disappoint him, break appointments, keep your emotions hidden - they
will be captivated."
Sounds about right




I don't want to be that person. I am really trying hard to not be a door mat, and to get away.
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Posted by Pecheresse
Posted by notoverit
Ugh! I wanted it to work, but we can't do it. I think it is based less on his horoscope and more on the fact that he is a jerk!
He pretty much told me he can't ever tell women no! So if a woman comes on to him, it is pretty much a done deal I guess. So in return I said I don't want to be part of a harem! Not wanting anything serious is ok, but the fact that you will be sleeping around with bunches of women is a no no. He looked at me as if I was nuts!
Then proceeded to tell me, he can't ever walk away from past relationships, so if his ex calls he goes. So on that note.. I said I had to go. Then he proceeded to tell me he did not think I would go. I have not texted or called him, I'm through. He sends a text saying "what ever". I deleted, not sure what that meant or why.
I am a little crushed, but I guess it was not in the cards. I am not a Cancer hater, I think there are many good ones out there!
Take care crabs!


Takes some *balls* to turn your back on such players. Good on you! Fuck him.
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+1
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Clarification: I am glad you see the situation clearly now, and have made your decision based on that. Rather than it "not being in the cards," I'd say you looked at the cards you were dealt and said adios to the game!
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Actually she (Notoverit) who is an aquarius posted that in one of her old threads, I decided to cut and paste it to her again to remind her of what she posted and how she's behaving. No joke or pun intended on my part.
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Awww sory to hear Noto , but as they all said u deserve way better...
Correct me if im wrong.. But is it a cancer thing to drop bombs on us about other woman .. My cancer well ex cancer now decided 9 months later when we were having a serious conversation about woman said that : 1) Good women do not exist anymore 2) Women think like men nowadays 3) We cant be trusted and this is why he takes his time to observe the women and keeps his options open .. Like are u kidding me .. All this crapola said in my presence, in my face .. He knew damn well that I was a good woman with old school values and all .. wrote to him a week later that i will no longer be in a relationship in which i am observved to see if i fit into his "good" criterias .. I know what im worth and what I deserve .. He wasnt wrtitten back lol .. But seriously 9 months into our dating u come with this shit lol
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Posted by Jessica777
1) Good women do not exist anymore 2) Women think like men nowadays 3) We cant be trusted and this is why he takes his time to observe the women and keeps his options open ..
wrote to him a week later that i will no longer be in a relationship in which i am observved to see if i fit into his "good" criterias .. I know what im worth and what I deserve .. He wasnt wrtitten back lol


Holy hell, are you serious!!!
You broke up with him because of his opinion about women in general??? Maybe he has been with some real bitches and has a reason why he feels that way..
If you're not that kind of woman, why the hell would you take offense to that? Obviously, he called out some shit that you had been displaying... and I bet you it's #2 with a touch of #3...
Your ego just fucked you over... Leo, right?
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@ shell,
No and no im none of the above and he knew that ... He "observed" me for 9 months .. Knew who I was and what I was all about .. No clubbing, good job, went back to school to get my masters, always knew where I was and with whom .. So it has nothing and may I say once again NOTHING to do with my pride/ego .. If it did I would have left a longtime ago, during the first times he would pull his disapearing acts.. But no I stuck by him and gave him his space .. His problem is that he based his comments on girls he met in a club or some of his goldigger female friends who would confide in him .. and even based his opinions on his friends whom got fuc**ed over by women they dated .. Stirppers.. So will I spend another 9 months .. 1 year or even 2 being investigated .. NOOOOOOOOOOOO... im 32 and want to settle down eventually and have children .. His last relationship was 7 yrs ago .. Go figure .. And yes im a Leo Winking
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@ shellshocker: I would reconsider as well. I'm not sure how you can't justify the reasoning behind it. I sure as hell won't be with someone who looks down upon me because of a few bitches HE chose.
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The point is you internalized his opinion...
My man doesn't have the best opinion of females in general, and I don't blame him. Thing is... I'm not like them girls so why would I get bent about it. Actually, better for me cause he has his eyes wide open and I don't have to worry about some bimbo catching his attention.
I guess it's all perspective.
Was he talking about you? If you thought he was, why not open a dialogue about it?
Seems like you assumed that's how he saw you and proceeded to break up with him via email?
Roar lioness, roar!
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@ Shell, I hear what you're saying .. However its the not first time he brought that up .. His view about women.. At the beginning he gave me the same song and dance which I swept aside cause we had just met and didnt know eachtoher.. So I understood and showed him that im not one of those girls .. Well I guess it wasnt enough .. He still had the same opinion 9 months later so I said to myself how much longer do I have to prove myself to this man ..
It wasnt by email it was by text message cause it was the only means of communication we had since we met. . For some reason he had issues with calling .. I think we only spoke on the phone once .. Hmm now that I think of it maybe he was the one playing and his opinion was based on his actions lol
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Posted by ninjamu
I sure as hell won't be with someone who looks down upon me because of a few bitches HE chose.


Exactly!
I'm with you Jess. He said all women which I see as him putting you down in a round about way. I don't see leaving him as an ego thing at all. I kind of thought it was more about choosing what's best for you and letting go of what isn't. When there are so many people in this world why settle for the wrong one and allow them to waste your time when you could be with someone who doesn't pull all kinds of bitch moves on you?
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Posted by Jessica777
He still had the same opinion 9 months later so I said to myself how much longer do I have to prove myself to this man ..
For some reason he had issues with calling .. I think we only spoke on the phone once .. Hmm now that I think of it maybe he was the one playing and his opinion was based on his actions lol


Why would his opinion about OTHER women change after seeing you for 9 months? Who cares what he thinks about other chicks.. was he talking about you? Did you ask him if he sees you the same way? If he did... then ya, walk. If you didn't even ask him then I think your actions were a bit pre-mature, heated and definitely about your ego.
LOL at the not calling part... I think I've called The Pisces once, too. It's all text and face to face. And I'm no player....
Cancers can be evasive and hard to figure out but if you ask them straight up, you'll usually get a truthful answer if they care about you.
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Honestly I think Jessica made the right move, she know she can't fix his point of view about women, she didn't help him develop that kind of negative attitude and thus she can't fix it. Jumping through hoops for a man who clearly stated he's keeping his options is exhausting, she'll never be good enough for him and she'll be investing way too much of herself and she's only an option at this point.
She's 32 and wants marriage, possibly kids some day and she can't really have that with a man whose scared and doesn't have a high opinion about women in general, he almost looks down on woman and dislike women thus he'll be difficult to emotionally bond with, difficult to love and date, most likely disappearing acts will follow and continue to go on through out the relationship to create DISTANCE and prevent intimacy, she jumped ship early and IMO it's probably for the best, who needs a man that is negative about women.
He's penalizing "all women" for his poor judgement in picking women, hell he's picking dysfunctional women b/c he's attracted to them and the "good woman" has to suffer uhm hell no, she's not responsible for his choices in women, he chose sleazy women and/or listened to horror stories from friends who chose sleazy women and instead of taking some responsibility for picking with his dick or holding his friends accountable for choosing bad mates he's decided it's the women whose at fault and the reality is...it's him, he's the problem, who he choose to give his love to is the problem, if the girl is a gold digging sleaze well he picked her.
She could be "proving" herself for the next 5 years and he'll still say all women are blah blah blah, so not worth the time and effort, especially when there are men out there that are less damaged and willing to take a chance on love.
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I don't know enough...Still learning
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tiki likes any scenario where the woman leaves the man... just something I've noticed Winking
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I like all scenarios period...If she stay that's on her, if she leave that's on her, her self worth will dictate her decision.
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yeah shellshocker is right Jessica should realize that a guy with a low opinion of women is a bonus because when your boyfriend is a misogynist it means you've got less competition from the other chicks. Some real smart ones around here huh?
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Posted by Reason
Tiki knows it all,
how many times have you been married?


Lol...
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Posted by tiki33

He's penalizing "all women" for his poor judgement in picking women, hell he's picking dysfunctional women b/c he's attracted to them and the "good woman" has to suffer uhm hell no, she's not responsible for his choices in women, he chose sleazy women and/or listened to horror stories from friends who chose sleazy women and instead of taking some responsibility for picking with his dick or holding his friends accountable for choosing bad mates he's decided it's the women whose at fault and the reality is...it's him, he's the problem, who he choose to give his love to is the problem, if the girl is a gold digging sleaze well he picked her.


Here's a story...
I know a Aqua chick who was not sleazy... just manipulative and cunning. She chased a guy that wasn't that into her at first, but she makes a good case. Very sweet, etc. He dates her and she wants more of a commitment. He's reluctant. She gets pregnant and wants to keep it. He supports her and tries to make it work. She wants marriage... He says no.
She has baby, then has post partum. Guy takes over baby duty and becomes very, very attached to the child.
She sees this and doesn't like the fact he cares more about the baby than her. So she jumps ship...
I know 3 Aqua women and their stories are very similar. 2 left the kids behind, while 1 took the baby and left the country.
So I guess it's the guys' fault for choosing sleazy women? All these women had an agenda from the beginning... many woman do. They think they have a 'right' to be married and have children and will pursue this 'right' and not consider the males point of view.
Now, do you think a woman can come along and change these guys opinions of ALL woman just by her mere presence? To think so suggests a HUGE ego on the woman's part...
@virgodreamz - I don't even speak directly to virgos so....
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Yeah but he still chose her despite not being that into her, can't blame every woman for his mistake in choosing a mate/mother of his child...
I don't think a woman can change a man's opinion, we pretty much agree on that.
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Posted by tiki33
can't blame every woman for his mistake in choosing a mate/mother of his child...


true... but if he has any sense in his head it would make him very, very cautious.
And how strong does a man have to be to keep saying 'no' to a woman who's herself at him? There are women on here all the time giving their shit away, in ever sense of the term...
I just feel women have to stop expecting things to happen for them, just because they're women. It has a lot to do with the fucked up generational value system we're living in. People think they don't have to do anything to get what they want and have all these expectations of what they think they deserve.
No one wants to start at the bottom with a job, they want a career right away.
No one wants to get to know someone... they want a future husband or they want sex with random or multiple partners.
Hell, a husband isn't even good enough anymore... people have to have their 'soul-mate. So they shuffle through guys looking for any fault or 'defect' so they can move on and pursue the next shiniest, newest model.
It's f*ed up...
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to a woman who's herself at him?


to a woman who's throwing herself at him?
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Posted by shellshocker

@virgodreamz - I don't even speak directly to virgos so....


That really really means something coming from someone of such importance (and I mean real true importance not like a kind of pretentious retardedness of someone trying to give themselves a false sense of significance as a means of some sort of lame recourse) I bet everyone born between Aug 23-Sep 22 is reeling from the slight so....
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I don't disagree with you yet adults are responsible for the choices we make, we have to take responsibility for the people we allow into our lives, he's not a victim, he chose her and knew he wasn't into her but he chose her anyway and clearly he chose not to use a condom with this woman he wasn't all that into, to measure all women from the choices he's made is not fair to all women, a woman with high self esteem wont' stick around proving herself and proving herself, that's sort of a miserable powerless position to be in, in matters of love both people should win.
In Jessica's case, she knew it was going to be half ass one sided relationship after he explain his position, in his words she's an option and she chose not to be an option, I can't really blame her for that, there are men that don't think this way so why not choose a man that has better self esteem and a more positive out look on women and love instead of being an option for who knows how long, she's smart IMO for moving on.
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Posted by virgodreamz
Posted by shellshocker

@virgodreamz - I don't even speak directly to virgos so....


That really really means something coming from someone of such importance (and I mean real true importance not like a kind of pretentious retardedness of someone trying to give themselves a false sense of significance as a means of some sort of lame recourse) I bet everyone born between Aug 23-Sep 22 is reeling from the slight so....


Lol!
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I'm talking about 3 different cases her... all modern, normally functioning women. All 3 saw something they wanted, went for it and when it didn't turn out the way they expected, they had a change of heart.
Yet, you only speak about the men and their responsibility in the relationship. Why is that?
Jessica has an agenda.. she's 32 and wants to get married and maybe have kids. This guy doesn't have a high opinion of women so... NEXT!
The whole thing is sounding like some type of test anyway... in which she failed so it probably is all for the best anyway.
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They both are responsible (male/female), I actually said that in my prior statement " and vice versa." Jessica has a right to have her agenda wants/needs, I think most people on some level have an idea what they want in a mate, she's not required to couple up with a man that has low opinions of women and automatically downgrading women in the maybe with options category, she has the right to reject that, just like men have the right to reject (it basically goes both ways), there are men out there that actually want to have a family and have kids, she's not hurting anyone by moving on to a more suitable partner for her.
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And why is Jessica given a hard time for moving on so quickly she could have chased a man, forced a man to be in her life by having a baby or tricking/manipulating him into a relationship/marriage like the women you described shellshocker but instead she opted to move on, I can respect her for that. So basically she can't win either way, she damned if she do she damned if she don't.
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Posted by tiki33
So basically she can't win either way, she damned if she do she damned if she don't.


ack!!! Can there be no grey?
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Posted by shellshocker
Posted by tiki33
So basically she can't win either way, she damned if she do she damned if she don't.


ack!!! Can there be no grey?
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Yes
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Posted by tiki33
Posted by shellshocker
Posted by tiki33
So basically she can't win either way, she damned if she do she damned if she don't.


ack!!! Can there be no grey?


Yes
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good smile
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Posted by virgodreamz
yeah shellshocker is right Jessica should realize that a guy with a low opinion of women is a bonus because when your boyfriend is a misogynist it means you've got less competition from the other chicks. Some real smart ones around here huh?



lol. I love you.
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Posted by Jessica777
Awww sory to hear Noto , but as they all said u deserve way better...
Correct me if im wrong.. But is it a cancer thing to drop bombs on us about other woman .. My cancer well ex cancer now decided 9 months later when we were having a serious conversation about woman said that : 1) Good women do not exist anymore 2) Women think like men nowadays 3) We cant be trusted and this is why he takes his time to observe the women and keeps his options open .. Like are u kidding me .. All this crapola said in my presence, in my face .. He knew damn well that I was a good woman with old school values and all .. wrote to him a week later that i will no longer be in a relationship in which i am observved to see if i fit into his "good" criterias .. I know what im worth and what I deserve .. He wasnt wrtitten back lol .. But seriously 9 months into our dating u come with this shit lol


Thank you Jessica. I come here for my dose of reality to help me. Unforutnaltey in my culture I am not considered attractive and it is really hard to find someone, but you are right, and that is why I am on my way to being free. We still speak.
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Posted by notoverit
Posted by shellshocker
Posted by notoverit

He pretty much told me he can't ever tell women no! So if a woman comes on to him, it is pretty much a done deal I guess. So in return I said I don't want to be part of a harem! Not wanting anything serious is ok, but the fact that you will be sleeping around with bunches of women is a no no. He looked at me as if I was nuts!


This never ceases to amazing me...
Cancer, comes out and tells you straight up how it is... you are infuriated... you write him off!
Until he comes back... and you take him. I don't have an ex who wouldn't take me back and Cancers do it... BECAUSE THEY CAN!!!!!
I know the sex is good, but is it better than your self respect?
I don't like to repeat myself, so I'll tell you the truth once. It is not my fault if you don't believe me. In your other post you're trying to find hidden meaning in the fact that he's venting to you. Trying to find ways to "get" him to choose you and be the only one.
He already told you... you're not the only one. And he'll keep coming back to you and all the other women as long as you/they let him.



I know your right...

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@ShellShocker - Why do Cancer's take advantage of people like that? Just because I can get away with something does not mean I will?
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"The whole thing is sounding like some type of test anyway... in which she failed so it probably is all for the best anyway. "
I went through a series of test with this man trust me.. I kept my head high and said to myself that this is the way he proceeds in analysing his woman .. The good ones ... The dissapearing acts .. I overcame, The calling me at 2 in the am to see if I was home, I overcame, Gave him his space when he needed it .. I overcame .. Not going out as much so he doesnt think im out chasing after other men.. I overcame.. But yet it wasnt enough.. How much more testing do I need to go through .. I lifetime worth .. Cmon .. He even asked me why I always park my car in corners when we would go see a movie.. I replied to him that its because some people open their doors way to wide and dent my car so thats why I like parking in corners so theres nobody beside me on one side .. He looked at me and gave me this face as if I was full of Sh*t .. He also made a comment that Italian woman are crazy .. Reason being that one of his friends dated an Italien woman who ended up becoming crazy and obsessive. I told him that we are not all crazy im not the obsessive type .. Just like any race or gender U have them crazy ones and u dont.. Once again he looked at me and said Ya right.. U guys are crazy .. What im I a punshing bag .. First Im crazy, than I cant be trusted and good woman do not exist anymore.. I once told him that he should show his sweet side more often cause he's constantly negative ..He told me .. Theres a rule on being nice and sweet.. U cant be nice too often because the woman gets bored .. Wow .. A RULE ON BEING SWEET .. I replied by saying its too bad cause Ive had my share of ass*** so I have a thing for sweet men .. He said too bad lol.. So ego's aside as a woman hearing constant negative criticism takes a tole on u.. He seldom said Hey Jess ur a sweet girl or Hey Jess thanks for being so understanding or Hey Jess ur a beautiful woman ..
So Shellshocker I guess I should have continued hanging in there to prove myself for another year or so.. Oh well I failed the test as u said lol ..
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VV ??? & Real Talk ??? ooh Virgos are awesome lol
Tiki I agree a thousand percent with what you've said. It's good to see some women actually support the idea of healthy self esteem and common sense.
Jess you did the right thing as far as I can see. My Cancer BF does not do dumb things like this. I don't think it's a sign thing to me it's just a matter of being with someone with bad qualities and doing something about it instead of waiting for your life to pass you by because you put your happiness in someone else's hands.
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Absolutely! Actually, most people like that kind of scenarios here! Not sure if they are all quite women though .. now let's guess why .. so that's easier to move on to an inevitable 'next'?


I see this too often...
Reminds me of this Leo lady I had a convo with who accused me of being misogynistic as well. She liked the concept of women support each other no matter what, like these Virgo chicks coming in here high fiving each other with the pretense of comradery. Bet they PM'd each other to come out and show moral support.
But I believe women hate women way more than men do and will be the first to back stab and turn on each other. I'm more of a supporter of humans looking out for themselves as well as their fellow humans and not discarding them like waste.
This same Leo woman encouraged our mutual friend to leave her boyfriend over something petty... guess who the Leo is fucking now!!!
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Posted by shellshocker

Absolutely! Actually, most people like that kind of scenarios here! Not sure if they are all quite women though .. now let's guess why .. so that's easier to move on to an inevitable 'next'?


I see this too often...
Reminds me of this Leo lady I had a convo with who accused me of being misogynistic as well. She liked the concept of women support each other no matter what, like these Virgo chicks coming in here high fiving each other with the pretense of comradery. Bet they PM'd each other to come out and show moral support.
But I believe women hate women way more than men do and will be the first to back stab and turn on each other. I'm more of a supporter of humans looking out for themselves as well as their fellow humans and not discarding them like waste.
This same Leo woman encouraged our mutual friend to leave her boyfriend over something petty... guess who the Leo is fucking now!!!
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LOL, good try, but no dice. For what purpose would we need to pm eachother for? You? *SMH* Please get your head out of the clouds.
We saw something that amused us and decided to comment. Our right. 'tis all!
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Just to expand on a great idea, I'm thinking of posting a comment in the relationships and astrology section. I'm hoping everyone in my camaraderie league will be there to support me.
Also please be aware that you are at great risk of being taken out (all at the same time)
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+1
Virgovixxen and virgodreamz
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