Calling all cancer women
This topic was created in the Cancer forum by Hiei on Sunday, March 16, 2008 and has 8 replies.
Hi there cancer women. I was wondering if you girls could offer me some insight into the cancer psyche. My cancer woman wanted a break for two weeks because she wanted to think our relationship over and have her freedom, so I gave it to her even though it bothered me inside. She was really cold within those two weeks because she didn't want to lead me on. This was the three days before my birthday too in which she barely acknowledged. Well two weeks pass and now she acts like nothing happened. Anyways we went to a party a couple of days ago and I find out she kissed two other girls. She is bi-sexual. I don't think it was anything sensual, but I have already discussed it with her that I think her kissing anyone else is considered cheating. She tells me I'm overreacting. I believe I have to be true to my own feelings. Can you girls tell me anything I might be not be understanding in my woman. Thank you.
Hiei
Hiei
I am not a cancer woman, and I am ridiculously loyal and faithful, even when I'm not actually IN a relatishonship - so I wouldn't be the best person to comment on HER behavior. However, if she wants to be with you then if that behavior bothers you she needs to understand that this is how you are and there really shouldn't be any compromise on this subject. There are certain things you SHOULD compromise on, like doing things you both enjoy on dates, and organization of the household, if you live together...things like that.... but this is not one of those things. To be successful in a relationship this is the sort of thing you really have to BOTH agree on. Some couples are okay with an open relationship and it works for them because BOTH feel the same. But you simply CANNOT make a relationship work where one partner feels it is okay to kiss someone else [and sex or sexual orientation is irrelevant] and the other doesn't. I wouldn't want my boyfriend, or even a guy I was getting to know, kissing anyone else and I wouldn't kiss anyone else - male or female - regardless of the circumstances.
Thank you girls for taking the time to write this fish some words of wisdom. =)
xangelfishx: I am the same way that is why I am so bothered by it. I think that kissing is intimate between lovers and that kissing others just for "fun" is totally unnecessary and inconsiderate to feelings I have made clear. She has apologized but I am not so sure if she is willing to give up that part of her character.
crab23: I think that she needed a recharge as well. We started seeing each other everyday with nothing to do but hang out. I have a lot of work to do, but always spent my downtime with her, but whenever she wanted to go out with her friends I would not be able to reach her for days and it pissed me off. I understand that she wants hang out with her friends and I am okay with that because it gives me time to work or be alone but I would atleast like her pick up my phone call within a reasonable amount of time instead of the next day. Ever since the break I have been unsure of our relationship because of her self centered attitude of individuality. We will see how it unfolds.
xangelfishx: I am the same way that is why I am so bothered by it. I think that kissing is intimate between lovers and that kissing others just for "fun" is totally unnecessary and inconsiderate to feelings I have made clear. She has apologized but I am not so sure if she is willing to give up that part of her character.
crab23: I think that she needed a recharge as well. We started seeing each other everyday with nothing to do but hang out. I have a lot of work to do, but always spent my downtime with her, but whenever she wanted to go out with her friends I would not be able to reach her for days and it pissed me off. I understand that she wants hang out with her friends and I am okay with that because it gives me time to work or be alone but I would atleast like her pick up my phone call within a reasonable amount of time instead of the next day. Ever since the break I have been unsure of our relationship because of her self centered attitude of individuality. We will see how it unfolds.
If she views kissing as "just for fun" then you clearly have different ideas about kissing and intimacy in general. I have to agree with everyone and say this doesn't sound like it will work. If you are the same way I am ]and no I'm not a pisces, I'm a bull.... a lot of people get confused...] then this will never work for you because as I said in my previous post this just isn't something that should be compromised on. I have very strict ideas about relationships and dating in general. You don't kiss someone else, even for fun, even someone of the same sex...cheating is cheating. And I have this same attitude whether it is an actual relatioship or just getting to know someone and "talking" as I've heard it put [though to me it's all the same thing - one guy at a time no matter what the circumstances] regardless of the status or circumstances of your relationship at the time, kissing ANYONE else [okay excepot maybe your mom....] is a definate NO. Doesn't matter if this was when you were seperated, or during a game of truth or dare at a party or whatever other ridiculous reason - if it was ME, this would not be okay.... Instead of trying to understand why she would think it was okay you should think about the fact that she DOES think it's okay and whether or not that's alright with you. Which it doesn't sound like it is.
Thanks again guys.
Crab23: It was not me who wanted to hang out all day. I can be needy at times when I feel insecure, but for the most part it was her calling me to hang out when she had nothing to do. I am a dedicated student taking many classes trying to earn a degree and go to medical school. She would call me after school to come hang out at her house, but when I was there she would watch tv and ignore me. I would hang around for about two hours and go home so I could wake up the next day early. She is still trying to find herself and sleeps in all day without doing anything. She has slowly changed for the better however. I have been so busy with my studies that I don't really have time to hang out too much other than birthday parties. I am innately a loner also. I enjoy company, but need my alone time constantly to fantasize.
unusualcancer and MercInAries: I wasn't really clear about the kiss. We were at my friend's house just chilling, they are my basketball buddies. Well one of my friend's girlfriends invited two of her girlfriends over and none of the guys showed them any love. Anyways other friends girlfriend tells me those girls are crazy and I find out they were triangle kissing. Supposedly it was all for fun, but I'm not okay with that like other people. That is why I blew up and was so mad. She wasn't exploring her options or anything. I think she was just trying to fit in because she is kind of the "new" girlfriend in the group.
xangelfishx: I am standing firm on the subject and she apologized in a text message, but I will still talk to her about if she is willing to give up that part of her to be with me. This is not negotiable. She feels shes changing herself too much, but thats how I want it to be. She can be with me or not its her decision.
Crab23: It was not me who wanted to hang out all day. I can be needy at times when I feel insecure, but for the most part it was her calling me to hang out when she had nothing to do. I am a dedicated student taking many classes trying to earn a degree and go to medical school. She would call me after school to come hang out at her house, but when I was there she would watch tv and ignore me. I would hang around for about two hours and go home so I could wake up the next day early. She is still trying to find herself and sleeps in all day without doing anything. She has slowly changed for the better however. I have been so busy with my studies that I don't really have time to hang out too much other than birthday parties. I am innately a loner also. I enjoy company, but need my alone time constantly to fantasize.
unusualcancer and MercInAries: I wasn't really clear about the kiss. We were at my friend's house just chilling, they are my basketball buddies. Well one of my friend's girlfriends invited two of her girlfriends over and none of the guys showed them any love. Anyways other friends girlfriend tells me those girls are crazy and I find out they were triangle kissing. Supposedly it was all for fun, but I'm not okay with that like other people. That is why I blew up and was so mad. She wasn't exploring her options or anything. I think she was just trying to fit in because she is kind of the "new" girlfriend in the group.
xangelfishx: I am standing firm on the subject and she apologized in a text message, but I will still talk to her about if she is willing to give up that part of her to be with me. This is not negotiable. She feels shes changing herself too much, but thats how I want it to be. She can be with me or not its her decision.
bijou, I wasn't passing judgement on anyone. If you read my first post on here and all of my second you would see that I said IF THIS IS HOW HE FEELS and then he replied that he is the same way I am. What I have said is that this is not the sort of thing that should be compromised on and that different people certainly do have different ideas about this sort of thing, and that for a relationship to work this is something you have to agree on. THAT is why I interjected my own opinion on the matter... I did not judge anyone.
lol bijou
frenzies? lol i remember that.
frenzies? lol i remember that.
aww damn...... I replied to bijou in the cancer man/taurus woman thread on accident.....
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