cancer and past...

sooo i have a cancer friend who has been acting very strange lately. She has been talking about her ex a lot(also her first love.) they broke up one year ago and she is the one you pushed him away. she has been seeing this guy also a they seem happy. if she is with a new boyfriend why is she still thinking about her ex whom she pushed off? she said she thinks about him everyday too. So, i guess my question is it normal for you guys to still question your past/ex and do you guys think about your ex's that much?

Cancer loves to live in the past. Everything in tr past is near and dear to them. All my cancerian friends, males and females, loved dwelling on the past mishaps. Reminiscing about the past is their forte. Such a good topic for the cancer forum. Lol

Cancers do not forget anything. Especially people. She remembers because she has the gift of memory. She talks about it because something may have gone wrong that still brings sadness to her, or pain, or just memories. Talking is how cancers heal. At least Cancer females. Cancers also learn from life, and by talking they keep their lessons fresh. If you are not sure why she keeps chattering away just ask. I am sure she would answer if she knew you were honestly just wanting to know.

I think about my exes because something that they did which I experience remind me of them. I had a Virgo ex who was heavy into psychology and he would try to analyze me for the sake of having some sort of ammo for later in order to make himself feel great and wonderful, or he would make careful remarks that would seem like he cared but it was to put me down. When I meet people who try to do the same thing I remember the ex and I get ripped up inside all over again. The pain they have caused me keeps reliving again and again. No matter what I do I still relive it ever so realistically that I feel internally crushed over and over again, or just odd, weird, and inadequate by what people say. And there is no stopping no matter how hard I try, or how hard I try to forget them. I rarely talk about negative things with people unless its someone I really trust. And at that point it's like a little therapy session. For if I do not then I will drown in mystery and sadness. I have a Virgo and Leo friend who I am not afraid to talk to, and I know when I do they make me feel a bit better. That is just me though.

yeah thats what i figured. kinda weird that you guys shut people out for a long time ever though you don't want too. i wonder if she will ever contact him again seeing as how crazy they where about each other. kinda not my place to ask her seeing how im friends with both..

i feel you man.... kinda in the same boat. how ofter do you cancers think about past loves? if so, why if its over?

by "in the same boat" i mean i haven't talked to my ex in like a year and wonder if i will ever see or talk to her again or if she would like that...

I'm the same...I reminisce a lot and have to catch myself because I may come off as harboring feelings or attachment, which it is neither of those things. I am merely replaying experiences and comforting myself in lessons learned and experiences enjoyed.

I think so. My first bf, a cancer, continued to sporadically comtact me for 7 years after I broke it off. He knew he fucked up 😉

My bf now is a cancer. A divorced one at that. I've voiced my concern once because when we moved we were using a lot of the stuff he acquired during his marriage. It worried me a little that seeing it and using it daily would cause him to live in his past and I don't wanna be compared (yes, this leo is typical in wanting to be #1). He pulled me close and assured me that he rarely ever thinks about her and is even grossed out by her memory. She royally screwed him I guess. So, maybe other influences in the chart can aid in their ability to really let go? He does have quite a bit of leo in him and I am the same way regarding my exes. Once done they are HISTORY and nary a memory lingers.

I find it hard to relate to hanging onto the past because for me, similar to what ninjamu said, "Once done they are HISTORY and nary a memory lingers."

Anyway, I looked up this thread to re-read because several days ago my crab decided to wonder out loud why he doesn't hear from one of his exes anymore. I'm still feeling hurt.

This wasn't the first time he's talked about an ex but previously it would come up during casual conversation or while trying to help me understand him better via the sharing of his past. But this occurred while we were cuddling. I was leading towards more than just cuddling but the ex talk killed my mood for it. I know there's no chance of them getting back together, but it makes me question whether he still has lingering feelings for her.

On the other hand, he didn't just talk about the ex. While we were having - what I felt - was an intimate moment, he was also talking about work and other mundane, totally unromantic things.

I'm trying to decide if I should let it go and get over it (because maybe his head was just off somewhere else and not in the moment like I was). I don't even think he noticed when I suddenly pulled away from him. Maybe I'm reading too much into it ('cuz it's just something that crabs do). Or should I tell him how it made me feel?

Hey!
Ok, so here's my story....VERY brief summary!

I had been with my Cancer man for 7.5 years. He's from another country, after we had been together for 2.5 years, I met his mom, after 5 yrs, he took me home with him & I met his father & the rest of his family. His mom was actually planning our wedding. And then....it ended. He used a bs excuse, but I think it was because his mom was pressuring him to marry me. So, we've never really been...out of contact. We have dinner sometimes recently, he's been a little more flirty. We were both at a function for a mutual friend. I was sitting at a table, obviously i wanted x to sit with me, but I knew he'd sit with "the crew" (his boys) BUT he came in, sat down right next to me & stayed there the entire time. He got up to talk to a few people, but for the most part he stayed beside me. We talked the whole time, afterwards, my best friend told me a few people had asked her if we were back together. After the function, the flirting increased, we were texting each other or emailing almost everyday, it was nice. And then, I messed up. LOL Well, I attempted a nice gesture, I went to his house, unannounced, with food, cheesecake & his fave beer. He was pissed. Mostly because I had just shown up. But the reason he was pissed was because he likes to be in power, likes to have the upper hand, & by showing up like that, I threw him off & he didn't know how to react.
We've been apart for almost 4 years, but it seems like he is showing interest again. I'm wondering if he's getting closer to wanting to settle down & maybe wants to do that with me. BUT I'm not sure.
What do ya'll think? Also, I haven't heard from him since this episode which was....almost 2 wks ago. He's in the middle of a disappearing act. Usually, when he decides to speak to me again, he'll text or email me something very insignificant, but by him doing that, he knows, that I know, we're cool. LOL

Posted by Mooniemooneyes
Cancers do not forget anything. Especially people.

Yep!!!!!!!!!!!

LMAO Scorp Fish, I'll go do one for you......

i only think about them if i think i made a mistake by leaving. it has never happened in my life once. there was one ex i kind of did wrong and he was a good guy. so i got him back and did not want him again. the emotional high i look for just wasn't there the 2nd time around. there is nothing like a new guy. nevertheless, when i break up with a guy, i will yo yo him right after the break up if he lets me but in the end...i stay with the new one.