Cancer / Aqua - how can that be?!

This topic was created in the Cancer forum by AquaNextDoor on Thursday, April 30, 2015 and has 90 replies.
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I started to date a wonderful cancer guy last sunday, we met over an online dating app *shrugs*??_ but we hit it off from the first moment, we have a lot in common and we never run out of things to talk about. Time runs very very fast when we are together??_ however he asked me for another date the next day, so we met again and had another tea together.. we were sitting there for hours, it was wonderful. He told me that he wants to take me to some places and wants to show me things I have missed the past years. On Tuesday we had our 3rd date and we went to an amusement park together, in the evening he cooked something very very good for us (he is a cook) he explained me everything with such passion, I??m in awe!!!! He is a true gentleman, helps me out of my jacket, makes sure I have everything I need, he is so aware of my needs and kisses the ground I??m walking on. I wasn??t treated like this in YEARS! Mentally we click like crazy!!!
He then took the initiative and told me how he feels about me, like he couldn??t sleep the past days and that I left such a big impression on him that he can??t forget about me & how happy he is that I??m giving him my time and that he hopes that it won??t change. He said I had him at our first date and I asked ???wtf did I do??? and he told me that it was how I looked at him, I gave him such a wellknown, comforting and loving look. I wasn??t aware of this at all.. I just feel comfortable and safe around him..I was shocked (in a good way) and I couldn??t bring out a damn word??_. Then he just hugged me like I wasn??t hugged in years??_ it felt so secure and comforting, like I??ve known this intimacy since years. Now it was easier for me to say that I feel the same about him and that I cancelled a date with another guy because of him, simply because I couldn??t get him out of my mind and I don??t want to date anybody but him.
That evening he couldn??t stop caressing me everywhere (not intimate though!) kissing my forehead, my hands, my cheeks??_ but he didn??t really kiss me, took him about 3h till he finally kissed me. We were just hugging eachother and enjoyed the silence and the feeling of total comfort??_. He kept telling me how happy he is with me next to him.. surprisingly I didn??t even have a hard time opening up and I became all lovey dovey too!! Usually I??m like a cold rock??_ but with him it comes without any effort.. I'm a little scared of myself lol
So this is all wonderful and shiny s
Our charts - I dont see much compatibilty to be honest but he wows me to the moon and back!!! I love it.
Sun: cancer
Ac: aqua
Moon: libra
Venus: cancer
Merc: cancer
Mars: scorp
Mine
Sun: aqua
Ac: leo
Moon, venus, merc: cap
Mars: sag
I hope so.. he really seems like a great catch
I think I might blew it.. yesterday when I was with him I turned super red and was hot like a frikkin oven. He asked me how that comes and I told him (after stumbling over my own words) that I start falling in love with him. He said that its nice to hear but he can't tell me about how he feels yet. I got a bit insecure and I think I got a BIT pissy. I wasnt rude but he told me "remember when I told you I miss you and you didn't believe me the first moment?"... oh boy... I told him that I kinda feel rejected and left. He paid for my cab, which was really nice.. oh boy.. why can't I just shut up... he told me that he needs to be alone this night. He told me that he is serious and asked me how I could doubt that when he wants to wait to have sex and does so much for me? He is right... meh... hope he comes back soon. I txted him that I'm sorry for my little blow up and that he should let me know when he feels like seeing me.
He is so open and shows so much affection and care, tells me how he cant sleep cuz he thinks of me so much... but when I tell him that I'm slowly falling in love he backs off and won't tell me how he feels...
Heeelp Sad
You will be fine, be patient with yourself and him.
yeh trying my best...
I'm waiting for reincarnated Paul Newman.
Still nothing from my cancer man, well my phone broke down on Sunday and maybe he tried to contact me because he didn??t find my letter yet Tongue cuz in my letter I wrote that my phone isn??t working anymore.
Last night I was getting a lil drunk with my bestie and THANK GOD I was conscious and smart enough to not walk by his apartment to check if he got my letter yet lol maybe it just has to be that way. I really need to learn to be more patient and this is my lesson I guess haha actually after I let go of the fear of not seeing him again, I??m very calm actually and I believe that I??ll see him again soon. I miss him like crazy, although I only have known him for about a week ??? in this short time I felt so so happy and safe. I miss him
I don't get it with Paul Newman, what's up with him? hahaha sorry
you are right caster... it's just something totally new to me to actually feel that he has feelings for me and is serious about me but doesn't put it in words like me.. that's just how I am and that's just how he is I guess, but I think it's wonderful because hopefully he can teach me to just shut up from time to time and just enjoy the moment and trust the process.
And yes, I believe by now that his absence since last thursday is because he might feel hurt - because I doubted ALOT of what he said/did and now I understand that it might have hurt him more than I realized. I'll be more aware of that in the future and that's also what I wrote in my letter to him, and I'll be so happy to have him in my arms again if he gives me another chance to prove that I am willing to trust him.
Ouch. So many cancer stories like this lately. Makes me kinda sad. Hope your dude got the letter. I think with cancers or anybody really you shouldn't leave things anywhere thinking they'll find it. What if he didn't get it? Just straight up talk to hin
Posted by AquaNextDoor
I don't get it with Paul Newman, what's up with him? hahaha sorry



Really??? Loyal, activist, adventurer, fine. Get out of the rock you're under
I know.. kinda risky. Well I said to myself that I'll wait for my phone to arrive, I ordered a new one on monday. It should be here friday, latest. Then I'll contact him and ask him to meet up.
Posted by kissmygrits
Posted by AquaNextDoor
I don't get it with Paul Newman, what's up with him? hahaha sorry



Really??? Loyal, activist, adventurer, fine. Get out of the rock you're under
click to expand


aahhh ok ok ok!! got it!! Tongue
So I finally got my new phone ysterday??_ and I txted him ??_hey smile finally I have a new phone, did u get my letter? I would love to see you, u have time to meet???? ??? he read it around midnight and didn??t reply yet.
Not quite sure what I should think of that. it??s up to him to hit me up now. A simple yes/no would have been nice though.
dont think the OP is a woman , just someone trolling.
looks desperate for a beautiful woman :p
I don't either. Or kind of stupid maybe.
Whats ur f.ucking problem?!
If you don't have any advice then go the f.uck off my post
I'm just fu.cking honest with him. How's that desperate? If I wish to see him I tell him
yeh, thank you seraph.
I calmed my tatas, I'm cool again. Have to start studying for my course next week anyways so that will keep me busy.
kodak: it def is a weird mix + my leo asc + my sag mars. but sag mars is a hilarious mars placement Tongue I love it! The cap placements give me the ability to stay grounded even in the biggest mess, but not when it comes to love Tongue I have a retro venus
Hahaha nooo his venus is in cancer
Thanks for your advice seraph!
He he's blow because you didnt believe him when he was being true to his heart. For people wondering why a cancer will suffer in silence and let the love of their life walk right out of their life--this is why. Cancers have some intense loving styles so when people don't get them they are blown because they don't love like normal people and the y know most people have never loved like that before and they don't want to look like the "obsessed one" or "crazy in love" or what not. They know they can be a lot of love and sexual and intense experience for people so they feel like going forward only when they know it will be understood and respected and reciprocated. If not they will silently distance themself because the love that they want to give you or explain what love they want to give you is not easily put into words. You can't talk about it you can only go with the flow and be a part of this unexplainable type of deep love so if you reject it they don't feel like they even can explain it and even if they could they wouldn't because they don't feel like you deserve any of it anyway so they just knock you off their pedestal and replace it with something that makes them feel love or something tht won't make pissed or rejected.
But what you pm me will work
Just going with the flow and fully jump in is luxury somehow and I thought too poorly of myself to accept this gift.. I hope he'll give me another chance because I discovered so many wonderful things about myself... thanks to him.
Ok... I made the biggest fool out of myself. I went to his apartment to put my book in his mailbox where I've written a poem and told him straight that I gave him my heart. Well he wasnt home so I sat down on the stairs, just wanted to quickly reread the last chapter of the story (6 pages) and thought I would leave after. Just then he came around... my heart was pounding like crazy and I stumbled over my words, pressing out a little hi. He looked so surprised and confused (of course) so I told him that I didnt intend to stalk him and that I was about to leave and that I didnt think to see him anyways. He told me that his mind is all over the place and that he doesnt have the strength and time for anything but work now. I accepted it but I told him that I miss him. We were just staring at eachother.. think we were both shocked. He told me that he gotta go in 5 mins, so I told him that its totally fine with me and then.. well then I told him that I'm head over heels falling in love with him and that it was worth it to make a total fool out of me because otherwise I would regret it later because he made me open up and I want to be totally open with him and that I see him as a partner I'd love to be with. Well... his look changed. he was looking at me like I was a unicorn.. not in a bad way though!! It was a very warm look with a bit of shock.like he was about to say something but couldnt so I said that I'll be leaving now and he said that he will contact me and that we will have THE talk but he needs time. I said ok and I'm proud that I didnt say "just tell me if you dont want me" - I trusted his word. Then I gave him the book and told him that I wrote something on the last pages. While I was walkin down the stairs he just kept looking at me and I couldnt stop looking at him either... I couldnt really read it but it was a wonderful look with a little shock in it (jezz my heart was pounding like crazy)
So NOW its easier for me give him time.. I just feel like throwing up because it really made my heart skip some beats when we looked at eachother. What I THINK, just my little gut feeling speaking now, he looked at me like he was surprised and overwhelmed what he felt when he saw me after 10 days of trying to (maybe) forget me. I have a feeling that he was somehow feeling good about it although he was too shocked in the moment. When I left I quickly repeated that I didnt want to stalk him and that I thought he wasnt home anyways.. smiled, blushed and left.
AND YOU DID IT AND SUCCEEEDED! You just won a gold star. It worked. He probably looked at you like--damn I love this woman and how can I even keep trying to keep this act up and on top of that she finally said she wants me! That's why he was looking at you like you were a unicorn. He can't believe it finally happened. He probably dreamed about that moment and played it in his head for 24/7 on those 10 days. He probably did have work to do and didn't want to do a rushed "talk" plus he is probably thinking about everything he wants and needs to talk to you about. Invite me to the wedding!
And because you didn't get defensive and let him take his time for work without making you feel guilty he won't put a lot of space between you and "the talk" when he has time he will go straight at you and won't hold anything back and will be blunt and a good communicator. That's all he was waiting on. He probably senses you grown and he's happy about it. Just keep being blunt and upfront. He loves that you shocked him like that-he wasn't expecting you to be there and he loved every piece of your shock treatment. That's how cancers are. They look like their hiding but really they're waiting. In your situation though. Sometimes they really are hiding.
Thank you very much starchild, your insight really did help me! However this talk will turn out, if we proceed slow or take the next level, I??m fully up to it and I will listen without doubt. And it feels so good to know that I have zero regrets, because I told him everything that he needed to know. My friends tell me I??m crazy etc but I just followed my heart yesterday and it feels good for ME. I??m sick and tired of ???what if I just told him??. Now it??s just open and honest communication with me.

I do believe him that he had a 80h week since then because he works freelance as a cook, barkeeper etc in a few different high class restaurants in our city. It??s his passion and I believe that he just jumped in his work even more to not confront himself with feelings which he thought wouldn??t be appreciated from me till yesterday. I also told him yesterday that he shouldn??t make a mistake, because I believe that a few wonderful things in life come across our way and we might think we aren??t ready for it yet or what not and let them go and that it would be a mistake if he did so. He really just looked at me, I could literally see how is mind was on overdrive lol
I??m not expecting to hear from him before the weekend and that??s totally fine! I believe the more time he takes the better it will be, because then I can take his opinion 100% serious. But jezz.. I miss him, the talks, hugs and kisses like crazy smile
Posted by StarChild63
And because you didn't get defensive and let him take his time for work without making you feel guilty he won't put a lot of space between you and "the talk" when he has time he will go straight at you and won't hold anything back and will be blunt and a good communicator. That's all he was waiting on. He probably senses you grown and he's happy about it. Just keep being blunt and upfront. He loves that you shocked him like that-he wasn't expecting you to be there and he loved every piece of your shock treatment. That's how cancers are. They look like their hiding but really they're waiting. In your situation though. Sometimes they really are hiding.


Yeh when he told me about his 80h ??_week??? and how he??s fully into work and now has his first day off since then I smiled and said ???like always huh, I know you love your job?? ??? I love how dedicated he is, his job is his passion. But I know he would also dedicate enough time for me in the future, once we get there. Of course my crazy lovey dovey heart wants to see and talk ASAP but honestly, I??m very calm since yesterday and even if it takes him until the weekend, I won??t mind. I wish him to get through work and do what he has to do (he??s a damn perfectionist, opposite of me, I love it) and then when he feels calm, relaxed and ready ??? than I??d really love to talk to him.
GOOD! I keep telling these people to listen to me! He's probably working like crazy but his brain is going crazy because you just blew his mind and now his heart and mind are on the same page because you showed him so he feels it and you told him so he knows it and now he should be ready to commit. Be ready to move fast because now he won't ever shut you out and he will include you in his work so it will get busier for you. He's going to wife you soon I'm telling you. Any dude that sweats like that plus knowing his little cancer ways I know where his head is at. After you left he probably called up his boy to tell him the news. I just want my wedding invite!
Posted by StarChild63
GOOD! I keep telling these people to listen to me! He's probably working like crazy but his brain is going crazy because you just blew his mind and now his heart and mind are on the same page because you showed him so he feels it and you told him so he knows it and now he should be ready to commit. Be ready to move fast because now he won't ever shut you out and he will include you in his work so it will get busier for you. He's going to wife you soon I'm telling you. Any dude that sweats like that plus knowing his little cancer ways I know where his head is at. After you left he probably called up his boy to tell him the news. I just want my wedding invite!


Hahaha wow.. I feel very very good about what you wrote. I wouldnt mind about speeding up because I'm very sure about him and I want a stable relationship with a promising future, a foundation to build on for many years to come! No matter how cheesy it may sound, I wish for a lifelong partner not just another destination to land on smile . If you allow I'll def tell you how it went.
Didn't read the rest of these posts and didn't see there was an actual dilemma happening and not just a general discussion on this match up.
Well I doubted a lot about him so he blew damn distant on me and didnt contact me since may 1st. Nothing that will happen again
after reading some of this, kinda make me remember my aqua crush lol
to bad it went no good...
but i think astro didnt decide everything, my scorp sister married sags
so water-air mix should can work
if me, i might reply immediately when u saying u like me
of course if i have good amount interest in you
for me, most of time when i got interest into someone, i got feeling not really sure in the beginning
and then after i got "sure" feeling, there always something happened lol
and when a girl saying like/love to me
i always like... i am not really sure i can explain this feeling
its not that i am not happy or i dont want to reply ur feeling
especially if its pretty girl that i interested in first place
but its like something making me thinking, do i really sure want to be with u ...
the feeling is complex, and i cant explain in words, but i think thats the point
and maybe this just my ancient thought
if me, i personally prefer i am the first one saying "i like/love u" rather than opposite way
its more like prefer chasing than chased i guess
that way u know that i am already sure i want to be with u, when i am saying that
but thats me and my old way of thinking, i believe other cancer-guy can be different
anyway if u really like him, u should give him time (not sure all cancer-people or not, but loyality is what melt me), and just be calm&cool
if to pushy it will make him more distant
hope u hear soon from ur cancer!
and sorry if i wrote something not make sense, i am not native english-speaker
Thanks for your reply, I don??t really see it as chasing, just being honest and upfront with him but I get what you mean ??? in the beginning he courted the shit out of me, loved it!. But yes, since Sunday I left him alone and didn??t txt because I want him to have enough time to make a move when he finds some time next to his crazy work schedual. This morning I just texted him ???I just thought of you?? ??? it??s honest, short and sweet without being pushy. He told me on Sunday that he will contact me and that we will have THE talk, so I just thought it would be nice to let him know that I don??t push but that I think of him smile
I honestly don??t want to overthink every move so I just txt when I feel like without overdoing it until we had the conversation.
Still nothing from him... should I reach out again?
Seraph you are so right because to be honest thats just how I AM. I learned some patience so going silent for 3 days is ok for me but after 3 days I feel like reaching out again, well thats just how I am and I dont think its pushy. I thought about a little short nd sweet txt like "hope your coughing is gone by now & that you are happily working (he loves his job to death), I'd love to have another tea with you when u feel like"
Ended the text with "that's just how I am smile"
Hahahha true
I told him that I'll be on one of my nightly walks tonight through the industrial area and that I'd love to have him join me (he told me once that he wants to join me if I allow it because he loves them too)
Thank you! I always say "whoever kidnapps me will bring me back within 5 minutes cuz I'll blabber them to death" I always carry a knife with me
Guess its my leo asc that makes me walk through the streets with confidence - if u project weak confidence you magnatize trouble
I give up... nothing from him till now. ysterday he started to type something on whatsapp but didn't send it... however, I move on. It takes too much capacity in my head and I have to try to get rid off it. Too bad though.
thanks sweety! crazy how he stuck to my head after seeing him 5 times... crazy! meh... I don't even feel like dating anyone else.. cancer guy got me hooked like a crack junkie lol but I have to be realistic to myself...
Posted by seraph
Posted by AquaNextDoor
Still nothing from him... should I reach out again?


You've got nothing to lose.
A brief, thoughtful note. Keep it short and sweet.
If he's really interested, he'll see the open door and stick his foot in it to make sure you know he's interested.
Once you send it, await the result in peace. All that matters at that point is that you tried.
No matter how wonderful you are (by any estimation you prefer), no matter how good you look, you can't win em all.
And really, there is no sweeter rejection, than to be denied for being who and what you are, rather than to be denied for trying to be something or someone else in order to attract or appease, and poorly at that.
click to expand


+1
i agree with this. lol

and i agree w/ konicha, go find yourself a man who really wants you, not someone that doesn't care about your whereabouts.
plus, you're so "open". I've known some cancer sun males with dominant leos in them, and they still don't like women to be open so much. they dont tell me this, i just kind of know how they are.(at least the ones i knew)
Posted by krebbsmann
dont think the OP is a woman , just someone trolling.
looks desperate for a beautiful woman :p


lmao
Posted by Kodak375
Aqua sun with multiple cap signs!? Omg thats scary lmao


lol & in the 5th house too!! so double trouble.
yeh.. I really have to learn to shut the fuck up more often and let the man take the lead. but I don't regret telling him about my feelings.. at least I was honest with him and myself. hm...
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