Cancer BF broke up with me

Cancer bf broke up with me friday night...

The first 8 months were great but we started fighting, i started all the fights because i'm just a jealous scorp. This time, he got really upset as he's been very stressed out with job searching thing. We met at bar and i tried to explain myself..he kept shaking his head, the thing i remember most clear he said was, "sorry i can't trust you anymore".

I know i've lost his trust because i kept on fighting for similar things, but this time, i honestly i want to change, for this relationship, and i'm someone i can change when i realise it's the right thing to do.

I really need this chance to prove how much i love him and want this to work, i dare not to talk to him because im scared he will brush me off. i love him and he feels like one of the most amazing thing ever happened to me ( i stopped dating for two yrs after broke up with ex bf of 6 yrs).

Any advice how to gain trust back from cancer man? I feel like cancer put trust in you from the start of the relationship, and once it's gone, it's hard to get back.

Thank you.

L

First of all, you need to work on your issues and that will not happen overnight. So you can talk a good talk but the crab wont go for it. They are intuitive and can see through the facade. And anyways how can you expect him to trust you and you dont even trust him?

Posted by GeorgiaPeach
First of all, you need to work on your issues and that will not happen overnight. So you can talk a good talk but the crab wont go for it. They are intuitive and can see through the facade. And anyways how can you expect him to trust you and you dont even trust him?

Thank you for your advice.

I do have problem with trust issue, in the past people around me including relatives, friends i've seen many cheated. I guess i generally don't trust men...very sad i became like this. but i do very much trust my bf, now my ex bf, he has proven himself to be very loyal, i don't know why i kept being suspicious...

And i realised it is also about respect, and weirdly i respect him alot in alot of ways...

What do you mean by he won't buy my talk?

Lin

Posted by GeorgiaPeach
First of all, you need to work on your issues and that will not happen overnight. So you can talk a good talk but the crab wont go for it. They are intuitive and can see through the facade. And anyways how can you expect him to trust you and you dont even trust him?

Thank you for your advice.

I do have problem with trust issue, in the past people around me including relatives, friends i've seen many cheated. I guess i generally don't trust men...very sad i became like this. but i do very much trust my bf, now my ex bf, he has proven himself to be very loyal, i don't know why i kept being suspicious...

And i realised it is also about respect, and weirdly i respect him alot in alot of ways...

What do you mean by he won't buy whatever i tell him? I really realised i was wrong and i really want to change and i believe i can.

Thank you.

Lin

Thank you Deb

Your words are very very helpful especially when you shared your own experience. it's only the last sentence kills me when i read it...

I am possessive and very stubborn. But when it comes to time i need to change for better, i've always proved i can, but we fought over the same issue ( i got jealous ) many times, i think that's why he doesn't have trust in me can change...

I have been thinking about him all the time, it's the 3rd day we broke up and i called him yesterday around 6, he was in a taxi and the line broke, then he called me back to tell me he arrived and wish me a good evening as i was going to drinking with a gf. i wrote him an email around 9. Today i feel as horrible as yesterday and i want to call him so much, i don't know what to say actually but i miss so much talking to him..we used to spend time everynight..

I'm afraid though i appear to be clingy and turn him down even more, this is what i feel a guy still calling me after i turn them down, maybe it's a scorp thing.

How much time do i need to give to him? I want to still give him my support, i really care..i worry if he is eatting well. I used to make him snakes every evening.

L

Snacks*

Thank you again.

I'm not sure two weeks, today i had to call my gf to let her tell me in voice that i shouldn't call him now.

He can't trust me i think because we have fought for the same reasons, he doesn't feel i can change, and he is having a lot of pressure right now with this job thing. I saw it coming, he was saying thinging like " if this is going on right now, one day you will fight with me for xx,xx, xx." at the moment i felt like he's been thinking about it and already made decision pretty much to break up with me.

Thank you for your reply again, I'm quite happy right now i'm off to bed soon and i kept myself from calling him. I did something right today at least.

Regards

L

A lot of typos sorry, i've been drinking.

Just because he forgives you doesn't necessarily mean he's going to take you back, so don't get too excited when this blow over.

Posted by moon_eyes
Im gonna chime in here. Yes cancers can forgive and you can gain their trust. Its not easy nor is it impossible. In your situation I have to say that its going to be difficult if not impossible imo. When a cancer comes out and tells you that they lost trust in you its a major event. If cancers distrust somebody and dont tell them its usually mandible with time and somewhere the cancer knows this and its not a major distrust. But a constant repeat of events increases the distrust.

If you are the one who constantly starts fights this equates to a lifetime of this. Yes people can change, but honestly how long does it take, and how severe are these changes? Cancers dont like arguments and will do all they can not to dive into these waters. If there is a constant upheaval its not worth it.

If it were me and I went through what your bf went through with you id act this way: Jealousy a little is good a lot no. If there is a constant jealousy id start wondering why, and if my S.O. was guilty of something and was thinking I was because they were? Also if I were living in a constant argument zone id want to run the hell away from that as fast as possible. Ive let relationships go in the past due to arguments, jealousy, cheating etc. And no way in hell am i going back. Even the strongest emotionally and mental relationships for me aren't getting a 3rd chance.

Not sure how severe your actions are, and idk the two sides. But based on what you wrote that's my response.🙂

What you said is exactly what happened to him.

It was only arguments. we fought like 4 or 5 times a months.

Could anyone give me some good suggestion on what to do next? I know it's probably for the best if i just wait, But i really miss him, how should i act if i talk to him, or go out with him?

Thank you,

L

Once someone loses my trust, they've lost it forever. I don't know about Cancer men, I don't know about other Cancer women, but for me...once you lose my trust there is NOTHING and I mean NOTHING you can do to gain it back. I'm already very cautious and suspicious of people to begin with and I'm always analyzing. So as you're gaining my trust for the first time, I'm wondering WHY. I wonder if I'm being to gullible in letting myself trust you. Once I get over it and let myself trust you that's it. You can only go forward. I will forgive you, I will always forgive but my forgiveness isn't my trust. Once it's gone it's not hard to get back because you CAN'T get it back. That is atleast with me. See what other aspects are in his charts.

Thank you for all your suggestions.

I wrote him my 2nd email this morning after i woke up at 5. Didn't try to explain just told him my terrible feelings.

Got this reply from him "Hi, Breaking up is never easy. It will take time for both of us. Don't worry about me, I will be OK. You should just take care of yourself. During times like these, friends and family count a lot. You have loving parents so keep them close."

My boss who is also a good friend suggest that i should soon ask him out and explain myself to him, for a 2nd chance. He told me something might happen, or he will get used to this single life and more confirmed about his decision.

What his email tells you?

Lin

"Hi, Breaking up is never easy. It will take time for both of us. Don't worry about me, I will be OK. You should just take care of yourself. During times like these, friends and family count a lot. You have loving parents so keep them close"

There is no hidden context. He's being civil and basically letting you know that it's over. Don't push it. He's going to move on and he wants you to do the same. Us Cancers hate to hurt people's feelings, especially someone with whom we were once intimate with and loved and when we break up with someone we like to feel that it's mutual, and that the other person will move on as we will. Other wise we feel guilty, and we HATE to feel guilty. Just let it go. If he wants to be with you again, he will come to you but from experience, when a Cancer guy says it's over...it's over. I was heartbroken when my Cancer broke my heart at the tender age of 16, and I moved on and found other people who were 10xs better. Despite us being emotional people, generally we are attracted to people who are a bit less emotional and clingy then we are because it balances us out.

Posted by Starfish225
..Cancer ppl are really having a hard time right around now with relationships..

tell me about it... =\

i dont know about any other cancer! but me as a cancer the only reason i would break up with someone is if i new i could not fix it!

Or i would make stupid excuses to cause arguments to start fights and let my partner think its all there fault!

Maybe his just not that into you 😢!!! fck people are fck upppp!


Unless you have honestly done something to make him feel Insecure! then its ur bad! and not a very easy thing to fix!

wish you all the best xx

Thank you all, very much, for all your suggestions, words, kind words or bitter ones.

My cancer decided to give it another try, i'm the happiest person in the world at the moment. I'm so grateful.

I decided to read this site 3,4 days ago, i realised even though there are alot of things about horoscopes are right, but i needed to focus on our case, i decided i wasn't going to beg, instead i needed to explain myself to him. I really felt i deserved this chance, quoting his words " i'm actually one of the nicest person he's met". I'm just so grateful i got this 2nd chance, i truely believe people can change, you might say people do things because it's who they are, but have you been in situation that you know it's important/good for you, it's something/someone you want, when you're make the change willingly, it's not hard anymore and you actually CAN change.

I have problems, but i know since i love him, i will change myself, not that i'm sacrificing, but i'm happy now i'll become a better person.

I want to thank you again for all your time/words talking to me, it was very important to me. Wish you all good luck and successful in all aspects in your life.

L

Sorry, typo again, i decided to not visit this site few days ago.