Cappieg
@Cappieg
12 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 33 · Topics: 4
Cancer boyfriend unusual silence
Guys I know that you are probably tired of reading similar posts already but I was hoping for some input.
Are you a Capricorn?
Yes I am Capricorn Incandenscentcancer
Sc4rl3t very confusing indeed. I agree that LDR is putting lot of strain on the relationship and I can see his reaction every time we meet how the relationship gets the re-charge. As I said the plan is to reunite in near future and we discussed last time together.
I should mention that he only had LDRs and platonic relationships before he met me due to cultural and work reasons. His was "dating" his ex 1.5 years only via skype and FB and it stopped only when she broke it off. I am his first serious girlfriend and yes he was very insecure at the beginning that is why I always make sure that I give him enough assurances and I express how I feel because I love him deeply. He is very shy and quiet and I learned to read his emotional expression as he never speaks it. Yet when I saw him last time I said I love him, perhaps first time in our relationship thats when he sent me the I love u photo few days later which I felt it was sincere. Hence my confusion for unusually long silence
His work has currently peak season so he works 6 days a week 12hrs shift so I understand he must be very tired but still if he received 3 messages in last 8 days asking how he is and the last one that if all is ok.. I would expect him to reply even something short so I dont worry instead of changing his status to - at work.
I dont want to chase him neither I'd want him to stay in relationship if he is doesn't want to be there but I hate the not knowing what is happening.
I should mention that he only had LDRs and platonic relationships before he met me due to cultural and work reasons. His was "dating" his ex 1.5 years only via skype and FB and it stopped only when she broke it off. I am his first serious girlfriend and yes he was very insecure at the beginning that is why I always make sure that I give him enough assurances and I express how I feel because I love him deeply. He is very shy and quiet and I learned to read his emotional expression as he never speaks it. Yet when I saw him last time I said I love him, perhaps first time in our relationship thats when he sent me the I love u photo few days later which I felt it was sincere. Hence my confusion for unusually long silence
His work has currently peak season so he works 6 days a week 12hrs shift so I understand he must be very tired but still if he received 3 messages in last 8 days asking how he is and the last one that if all is ok.. I would expect him to reply even something short so I dont worry instead of changing his status to - at work.
I dont want to chase him neither I'd want him to stay in relationship if he is doesn't want to be there but I hate the not knowing what is happening.
Posted by CappiegThere's a ton of this coupling going on suddenly, I am sort of involved in one too. I am also dealing with long silences from her and am almost at the point of moving on. Why do caps go silent? Maybe that will give you some insight into cancer behavior as well. We generally tend to mirror the other person. Maybe he thinks you don't like too much contact, that's the conclusion I am drawing from my cap girl and I am mirroring her behavior.
Yes I am Capricorn Incandenscentcancer
@Sc4rl3t
The convo has been very good again up till 8 days ago or so I think...
Last time I saw him was nearly a month ago and he told/show me how happy he is that we are together, we chilled by watching movies, intimacy and talking about work etc. He was usual clingy himself 🙂
However I did bring up future plans to confirm that we are still on same track, him moving to same city once I settle and he did confirmed it. But I also brought up one sensitive subject - his family and their approval of us and option of marriage etc. It is something that he made clear at the beginning of relationship where he proposed to me, that he want serious relationship/children etc even if his family will not approve.
I guess I wanted the reassurance that nothing changed which was brought up by feeling somewhat insecure being away from him and not settled in a new job yet. He didnt say much at that time (which is his style) but said if I am crazy thinking he doesnt want me. He was being the usual caring bf for rest of the weekend, even force me to borrow his laptop as mine broken down, called several times to check I got home safe etc.
Subsequently few days later he sent the i love u message and then following 1-2 weeks we were chatting normally about work, or just joking, sweet little nothing even about the cats that we will get. Then his work was getting increasingly busy in the last 2 weeks and he would write just short hi, how are you every 2-3 days which was still ok for me. But then he did not reply to one my Hi, how are you message so I sent another one few days later and still no response. It's 9 days now, first time that long and that is what threw me. Even if he is very busy at work just short "hi, i am busy" would be sufficient not to make me worry especially if I asked if he is ok.
Surely time will tell and whats meant to be will be but it is the sudden jolt and not knowing what is going on that I find difficult to comprehend. Being a capricorn we are steady with our emotions when we fall, we fall hard and we commit for life in most of the cases but it doesnt mean that we would try to force anyone to be with us.
The convo has been very good again up till 8 days ago or so I think...
Last time I saw him was nearly a month ago and he told/show me how happy he is that we are together, we chilled by watching movies, intimacy and talking about work etc. He was usual clingy himself 🙂
However I did bring up future plans to confirm that we are still on same track, him moving to same city once I settle and he did confirmed it. But I also brought up one sensitive subject - his family and their approval of us and option of marriage etc. It is something that he made clear at the beginning of relationship where he proposed to me, that he want serious relationship/children etc even if his family will not approve.
I guess I wanted the reassurance that nothing changed which was brought up by feeling somewhat insecure being away from him and not settled in a new job yet. He didnt say much at that time (which is his style) but said if I am crazy thinking he doesnt want me. He was being the usual caring bf for rest of the weekend, even force me to borrow his laptop as mine broken down, called several times to check I got home safe etc.
Subsequently few days later he sent the i love u message and then following 1-2 weeks we were chatting normally about work, or just joking, sweet little nothing even about the cats that we will get. Then his work was getting increasingly busy in the last 2 weeks and he would write just short hi, how are you every 2-3 days which was still ok for me. But then he did not reply to one my Hi, how are you message so I sent another one few days later and still no response. It's 9 days now, first time that long and that is what threw me. Even if he is very busy at work just short "hi, i am busy" would be sufficient not to make me worry especially if I asked if he is ok.
Surely time will tell and whats meant to be will be but it is the sudden jolt and not knowing what is going on that I find difficult to comprehend. Being a capricorn we are steady with our emotions when we fall, we fall hard and we commit for life in most of the cases but it doesnt mean that we would try to force anyone to be with us.
@Incandenscentcancer
I can only talk for myself as capricorn female, I dont do silences unless I am angry with you and I am composing myself instead of losing my temper or if I am under lot of stress and I need to fight some battle. Again we are one of the most loyal, supportive and nurturing signs and I think we do compliment Cancers well, in general. However we are also careful of being hurt so maybe there is little insecurity dance at the beginning when we want to be sure that you are serious about us before we give our heart away, cause once we give it it can be for lifetime.
I can only talk for myself as capricorn female, I dont do silences unless I am angry with you and I am composing myself instead of losing my temper or if I am under lot of stress and I need to fight some battle. Again we are one of the most loyal, supportive and nurturing signs and I think we do compliment Cancers well, in general. However we are also careful of being hurt so maybe there is little insecurity dance at the beginning when we want to be sure that you are serious about us before we give our heart away, cause once we give it it can be for lifetime.
Posted by incandescentcancerHey have you been feeling something since a little after the middle of November? Something pulling in the heart department, but you cant figure it out? Its pretty strong, and has brought about great alertness.Posted by CappiegThere's a ton of this coupling going on suddenly, I am sort of involved in one too. I am also dealing with long silences from her and am almost at the point of moving on. Why do caps go silent? Maybe that will give you some insight into cancer behavior as well. We generally tend to mirror the other person. Maybe he thinks you don't like too much contact, that's the conclusion I am drawing from my cap girl and I am mirroring her behavior.
Yes I am Capricorn Incandenscentcancer
click to expand
@Sc4rl3t I appreciate your opinion even I don't agree with all you have mentioned. You asked me to share the conversations in the last 3 weeks and I did, but it seems that you did not reflect on any of it at all but instead just reacted to the latest non-communication so I am not sure why you wanted me to write it all.
Are you telling me that someone who tells you that he loves you and wants future with you is planning break up in the same time? The silence came out of blue, just 2 days before the silence we exchanged cute messages which would not indicate any change of feelings. Further why would he lend me his laptop if he planned to break up. This all makes no sense unless he is mentally retarded or complete jerk and I can assure you he is neither.
Obviously there is some issue.. and I believe he will communicate it at some point as he is very direct and respectful guy. Even if he would decide to go separate ways knowing his character he would tell me at some point out of respect and the strong bond that we have.... last year we both survived together a natural disaster, saving each other's life to some degree.
I love him enough to let him go if that would make him happier and still wished the best for him in life.
Are you telling me that someone who tells you that he loves you and wants future with you is planning break up in the same time? The silence came out of blue, just 2 days before the silence we exchanged cute messages which would not indicate any change of feelings. Further why would he lend me his laptop if he planned to break up. This all makes no sense unless he is mentally retarded or complete jerk and I can assure you he is neither.
Obviously there is some issue.. and I believe he will communicate it at some point as he is very direct and respectful guy. Even if he would decide to go separate ways knowing his character he would tell me at some point out of respect and the strong bond that we have.... last year we both survived together a natural disaster, saving each other's life to some degree.
I love him enough to let him go if that would make him happier and still wished the best for him in life.
@Sc4rl3t Yes i have given you all the details. Yes he is not chatting now for 9 days....hence my thread. Sure it might be that he has lost an interest but I just don't believe that. After nearly year and half being together and as I mentioned earlier just few weeks ago saying he loves me and we talk about our future etc till 9 days ago. I don't want to re-write all I written before.
I know that there is no communication NOW but I was trying to analyze last 3 weeks here to make sense of things. It just makes no sense to me regardless the outcome
And yes this is free forum and people can write any type of opinion and I respect that despite if I like it or not.
I know that there is no communication NOW but I was trying to analyze last 3 weeks here to make sense of things. It just makes no sense to me regardless the outcome
And yes this is free forum and people can write any type of opinion and I respect that despite if I like it or not.
@Sc4rl3t I did like your previous post though
Cancers definitely know how it feels to be rejected, mislead, and hurt due to their empathetic nature.
So it's a Yes and a No to those questions you mentioned.
Yes, he would send something sweet and probably not mean it, because he doesn't want to hurt your feelings due to him probably not liking you anymore, because he knows very well how it feels when the person one cares about doesnt feel the same way anymore.
No, he wouldn't send something sweet and not mean it because it's not good to lead someone on and in the end, hurt them deeply by having had lied to them consistently in the first place.
Yes, he would most likely break up with you once he realizes he doesn't feel the same and that the relationship is going no where at some point.
No, he wouldn't break up with you Cuz maybe he still wants to try and see if it'll still be okay, after being with you for a certain amount of time. Like he probably doesn't want to lose that "comfort", in the relationship you guys share.
Cancers definitely know how it feels to be rejected, mislead, and hurt due to their empathetic nature.
So it's a Yes and a No to those questions you mentioned.
Yes, he would send something sweet and probably not mean it, because he doesn't want to hurt your feelings due to him probably not liking you anymore, because he knows very well how it feels when the person one cares about doesnt feel the same way anymore.
No, he wouldn't send something sweet and not mean it because it's not good to lead someone on and in the end, hurt them deeply by having had lied to them consistently in the first place.
Yes, he would most likely break up with you once he realizes he doesn't feel the same and that the relationship is going no where at some point.
No, he wouldn't break up with you Cuz maybe he still wants to try and see if it'll still be okay, after being with you for a certain amount of time. Like he probably doesn't want to lose that "comfort", in the relationship you guys share.
@Sc4rl3t thank you for your input. I came here to went my frustration and anger instead of calling him and yelling on the phone wtf happened. As you can tell I am little on defensive side because perhaps I refused to believe its dead and gone, but who knows maybe it is. Time will tell.
I can deal with break up, but I am not good dealing with the not knowing what is happening. I wish there was a way I could see inside of his head.. I thought maybe here on forum someone could but perhaps that was just silly expectation.
I can deal with break up, but I am not good dealing with the not knowing what is happening. I wish there was a way I could see inside of his head.. I thought maybe here on forum someone could but perhaps that was just silly expectation.
I might just throw this out there..
Maybe he feels insecure himself since you haven't settled down for 5 months?
Do you send him messages telling him you love him?
Cancers love it when we aren't the only ones who throws our feelings out there.
I know sometimes I show an excessive amount of love then when I realize it isn't being reciprocated I pull back and stop.
This is just food for thought, this might not be true but just something to think about.
I was also "seeing" a capricorn male. The reason why I pulled away from him suddenly was because of some of the harsh words he said.
I didn't feel the love from him anymore and I wanted to see if he cared as much or noticed as much as I did and he didn't. We don't talk anymore.
Maybe he feels insecure himself since you haven't settled down for 5 months?
Do you send him messages telling him you love him?
Cancers love it when we aren't the only ones who throws our feelings out there.
I know sometimes I show an excessive amount of love then when I realize it isn't being reciprocated I pull back and stop.
This is just food for thought, this might not be true but just something to think about.
I was also "seeing" a capricorn male. The reason why I pulled away from him suddenly was because of some of the harsh words he said.
I didn't feel the love from him anymore and I wanted to see if he cared as much or noticed as much as I did and he didn't. We don't talk anymore.
Posted by CappiegOk, this guy sounds like a dick.
@Incandenscentcancer
I can only talk for myself as capricorn female, I dont do silences unless I am angry with you and I am composing myself instead of losing my temper or if I am under lot of stress and I need to fight some battle. Again we are one of the most loyal, supportive and nurturing signs and I think we do compliment Cancers well, in general. However we are also careful of being hurt so maybe there is little insecurity dance at the beginning when we want to be sure that you are serious about us before we give our heart away, cause once we give it it can be for lifetime.
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I am new on your forum and even I hesitated to post here but I am puzzled by my boyfriends actions so I thought to seek opinion of others.
My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year now, we were friends first and then we fell in love. He proposed for serious relationship after while and we practically lived together for over 8 months, opening to each other and sharing everything. My work contract finished and I had to go to neighboring country to look for a new position and we agreed that he would joined me once I settle. Unfortunately I have still not settled and busy interviewing and securing job so for the last 5 months we are doing LDR and we see each other around every 8 weeks. When we are together we have great time and the bond feels very strong however once we separate his communication gets somewhat sporadic but it has been good. Last time we were together I asked him if he feels still strongly about our future plans and being together and he said yes. Being cancerian he is not very expressive with words but he sent me week later "I love you" image which felt great. However the thing that puzzles me is that since then he barely send me any messages and he has not responded to my messages since week ago which has never happened before (and yes he has been online daily).
Obviously he could be busy at work or with personal things but I cannot help but feeling somewhat frustrated and little insecure. I did not bug him for 8 days but now I felt that is time to check if something is wrong so I sent short message this morning to him,"Hi, hope all is ok. I have not heard from you for a long time, not sure whats happening". I hope he will respond but, if not then....
The question perhaps is; would he send i love you if he didnt mean it and do cancer man break up or keep stringing someone along, ? I am slightly oversensitive as I had bad experience previously so I dont want to overreact nor overthink.
Thank you