Cancer girls play hard to get once they have fallen for someone?

This topic was created in the Cancer forum by AriesFireKnight on Saturday, January 28, 2017 and has 22 replies.
Ok, I talked with this cancer girl for a month now. I met her on Tinder, we met in person after the Christmas and we vibe perfectly even if we are at almost 6 hours away from eachother. After Christmas we keept in touch by messaging and calling once ore twice per week. She was responding fast, and always apologized if she delayed a response for some reason... What can I say, it was the most chilling, open and secure conversation I had with a girl and it felt like heaven for me because I'm an Aries with Cancer rising and I felt in control over the whole thing.


We talked like that for a month then we met again this week and had one of the most amazing dates ever. Talked about all kinds of stuff for hours, we ordered wiskey at 12 AM because why not?, we ate at a fancy restaurant like in movies and shared a joint then laughed like mad at some religious oriented jokes... All I could think about was that I would just die in horrific pain if anything would take this girl away from me.... I was so dumb and cheesy when I first kissed her, even if usually I am really confident... It was just a fraction of second of touching on the lips, then I felt like an idiot and 30 minutes after I gave her a proper warm kiss out out nowhere that let her with dreamy look on her face. I dont really know what was in her mind because I kiss in a pretty rushed and unpredictable manner (Aries way, I can't help it at least at the beginning) but she looked really happy. We left in the evening and I can say that I was happy like a little child.


Then a strange thing happened... I tried to text her after 2 days and she replyed with a short answer when I was offline. When I saw the message after 8 hours (I was busy and the phone was home charging) I tried to respond I didn't even got a seen even if she is online every 2 hours. It was not a big deal yet.


Later I got an email with the results of a contest saying that I got a videochat conference with the jury of an international contest I was working on for a long time and I am a step away from winning 2000 euros (I'm 18 and this is a HUGE deal for me because the company with the contest it's one of the top brands of the planet). She was the first one to send the good news to... And well it's been 4 days and she didn't even bothered to read my text even if it's online and she knows that this thing is really important for me.


I was cheated before in a similar situation with an aqua... So my self doubt exploded like a nuke. I was mad one minute and had to do physical effort just to vent, hopefull in the next and after sad and alone. I started to question anything including our date and anything blaming me for all, and my best friends were witnessing the whole thing.


All of them gave me the advice not to text her in the next few days because because of my messed up emotional condition I would've been definatley seen as clingy and needy. Also my pride doesn't allow me to look that weak in front of a girl. In the case that she just flaked I got the advice to start talking to other girls just to be able to raise my self esteem a little bit and have other options available, so I started talking with my other Tinder matches just to pass the time and get the self doubt out of my mind. It feels like sh*t, because I really love her and nothing else seem to spark my interest.


Then this evening I tought about her feeling the same as me and actually trying to play hard to get or smth. I mean she NEVER did this stuff to me before and I strongly belive that is something wrong. She seemed really happy with me...


I want to know what to do so I could regain my peace of mind, because she is the 2nd girl that managed to make me fall in love in my whole dating experience... She is defintley one of a kind and I don't want to lose her and to suffer the way I did before.


Give me some advice guys, I really need some...
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I get quiet and distant when I'm confused, scared, not interested, or feel guilty for leading a guy on and not feeling the same way he does. Cancer btw.
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If I've fallen in love, I can't stay away. I might try, but doesn't last long.
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Posted by tiziani
You don't have the phone number or anything outside of the app?



Good luck with the videoconference!
I have her number, but is impossible for her not to see the notification or something. She's using her phone pretty often and she always replyed fast (and even apologized for any delay) until now. I have the strong feeling that I have to wait at least a week to get in touch with her, and now I'm trying to figure out the situation so I could focus on school and my projects and stop feeling the self doubt (I'm aries and this feeling is driving me mad).


My biggest fear is that she didn't felt enough chemestry even if the date was fine and she want to cool off the relationship.


Anyway I've read that the cancer girls tend to experience a lot of self doubt too and become shy at the beggining and I should give her time. Maybe she is like this... I don't really know and is bugging me hardly.


I really feel empty inside missing her when I listen to her favorite song... I just want to have that chill vibe again and feel safe growing feelings for her... Or at least a straight 'no' so I can move on... Is not much to ask... ??


Thanks for the good toughts, I will have the video conference on 15 february so I have to work hard until then ?

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A month is early to fall in love..

I would hope she wasn't offended by your kisses they seemed pretty innocent,

Maybe she's the type who likes to take things slow and pace herself..


She's thinking right now
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Try calling her, and leave a message..

Then walk away and give her space..


You could ask how's she's been and bring up a possibility for another date in the future, and that you've been thinking of her and for her to text or give a call when she has a moment
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Posted by pinkbird03
I get quiet and distant when I'm confused, scared, not interested, or feel guilty for leading a guy on and not feeling the same way he does. Cancer btw.
Hey pinkbird ? I have a clue on what it might be so you can give me your opinion... My ex confessed me that I rush to hard our prevoius relationship and I scared her off a little bit when I first kissed her (aries sun and moon under the soft cancer rising, so people are often scared of my true nature).


Maybe she have the same feeling right now an feels like the whole thing is going on too fast. I mean is the 2nd time I see her and I know her for only a month. It is also a long distance relationship... In a similar situation I think you would've stepped back a little bit, am I right?


I don't want to commit to anything too. Is just my way of dealing with relatioships. You think that if I wait for the situation to cool off a little bitbfor a week or two and then text her like nothing happened everything will be ok? She really showed me that she likes me before all that and kissed me back... I don't really think she don't feel something.
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That old communication fail between Rams and Crabs. Just hit her up and ask what her deal is. She could be figuring out how she feels about you and wants to make sure you're not another player. If you think there is someone else? That could be but she is probably curious if you are for real or just wanting a friend to occasionally sleep with.
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Posted by DivaCanLeo
You texted her two days after seeing one another? Why not the next day?


And not reaching out to me def will not make me interested


And talking to other girls on tinder will def turn me off


And why not exchange phone numbers.


You're not needy or clingy by showing positive interest. You don't need to spam her, but just be like hey, how are you let's talk.


Ask her out again this time do something fun during the day
I texted her when I got home, she asked me to do it. Then I didn't texted the next day because she was tellkng me that is really busy sending a CV for collage so I've waited till the next day and I asked her how it was and she was like 'it was fine' then an ? emoji in the next mesage because she knew that 'it was fine' was too blunt. Then she didn't read my messages so it's possible to not even know what's there and just chosen to ignore them for some reason.


I have her number, we talk for more than a month and we hang out 3 days togheter after Christmas (she met my family and all stuff, and I consider her a really good friend beside beeing my date).


About the Tinder stuff, I feel a little bit guilty abiut that, but the thing is I need a little bit of social contact with other girls in order to feed my confidence a little bit. And it doesn't mean I would bang any of them or something, I just want to give myself a little bit of relief in the case that this is not working. My other similar relationship with my ex ended badly, and I don't want to go trough all that again. Is alwaysgoo

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Posted by AriesFireKnight
Posted by pinkbird03
I get quiet and distant when I'm confused, scared, not interested, or feel guilty for leading a guy on and not feeling the same way he does. Cancer btw.
Hey pinkbird ? I have a clue on what it might be so you can give me your opinion... My ex confessed me that I rush to hard our prevoius relationship and I scared her off a little bit when I first kissed her (aries sun and moon under the soft cancer rising, so people are often scared of my true nature).


Maybe she have the same feeling right now an feels like the whole thing is going on too fast. I mean is the 2nd time I see her and I know her for only a month. It is also a long distance relationship... In a similar situation I think you would've stepped back a little bit, am I right?


I don't want to commit to anything too. Is just my way of dealing with relatioships. You think that if I wait for the situation to cool off a little bitbfor a week or two and then text her like nothing happened everything will be ok? She really showed me that she likes me before all that and kissed me back... I don't really think she don't feel something.
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Yes, I might step back if you're making me uncomfortable. Too fast is never too good. But I'm not sure I think you're moving too fast. I just had a second date in one week with a cancer man and we kissed for the first time. What I think might be the problem is the distance. That's a deal breaker for me. But don't give up yet. I think you need to prove to her that you're a great guy by getting off dating sites, Initiate conversations, flirt a little, don't bring up the fact that she's acting funny, eventually set up another date, and buy her a special gift like jewelry.
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Posted by DivaCanLeo
You texted her two days after seeing one another? Why not the next day?


And not reaching out to me def will not make me interested


And talking to other girls on tinder will def turn me off


And why not exchange phone numbers.


You're not needy or clingy by showing positive interest. You don't need to spam her, but just be like hey, how are you let's talk.


Ask her out again this time do something fun during the day
I texted her when I got home, she asked me to do it. Then I didn't texted the next day because she was tellkng me that is really busy sending a CV for collage so I've waited till the next day and I asked her how it was and she was like 'it was fine' then an ? emoji in the next mesage because she knew that 'it was fine' was too blunt. Then she didn't read my messages so it's possible to not even know what's there and just chosen to ignore them for some reason.


I have her number, we talk for more than a month and we hang out 3 days togheter after Christmas (she met my family and all stuff, and I consider her a really good friend beside beeing my date).


About the Tinder stuff, I feel a little bit guilty abiut that, but the thing is I need a little bit of social contact with other girls in order to feed my confidence a little bit. And it doesn't mean I would bang any of them or something, I just want to give myself a little bit of relief in the case that this is not working. My other similar relationship with my ex ended badly, and I don't want to go trough all that again. Is always good to have a plan B.


I will ask her out when I will get in the holiday after a week, otherwise I don't have the posdibility to get in her town and see her.

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You know what? You should learn the same mistake I had to pulling this communication game bs. If you're not serious so what anyway right? She dodged a bullet. I don't blame her for stepping back.
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Posted by DivaCanLeo
Also Aries is an impatient sign. Cancer is more deliberate. She won't trust your feelings. You really need to cool it until a true connection had been built which takes time
Yup then they lose interest. It's like they have attention deficit or something with relatioships. Laughing
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Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by AriesFireKnight
Posted by pinkbird03
I get quiet and distant when I'm confused, scared, not interested, or feel guilty for leading a guy on and not feeling the same way he does. Cancer btw.
Hey pinkbird ? I have a clue on what it might be so you can give me your opinion... My ex confessed me that I rush to hard our prevoius relationship and I scared her off a little bit when I first kissed her (aries sun and moon under the soft cancer rising, so people are often scared of my true nature).


Maybe she have the same feeling right now an feels like the whole thing is going on too fast. I mean is the 2nd time I see her and I know her for only a month. It is also a long distance relationship... In a similar situation I think you would've stepped back a little bit, am I right?


I don't want to commit to anything too. Is just my way of dealing with relatioships. You think that if I wait for the situation to cool off a little bitbfor a week or two and then text her like nothing happened everything will be ok? She really showed me that she likes me before all that and kissed me back... I don't really think she don't feel something.


Yes, I might step back if you're making me uncomfortable. Too fast is never too good. But I'm not sure I think you're moving too fast. I just had a second date in one week with a cancer man and we kissed for the first time. What I think might be the problem is the distance. That's a deal breaker for me. But don't give up yet. I think you need to prove to her that you're a great guy by getting off dating sites, Initiate conversations, flirt a little, don't bring up the fact that she's acting funny, eventually set up another date, and buy her a special gift like jewelry.
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Before I met her the distance was a dealbreaker for me too, I had a bad experience before and I promised myself that I would never get back on that kind of stuff again. She mentioned me that she waited 7 months for her last boyfriend with the idea that the distance is not such a big deal for her.


At the end of our date after I kissed her I becomed a little bit mushy and clingy (I was stoned tho) and she was a little bit uncomfortable. Also i forced a little bit the whole thing (again, I was stoned, beside some cheesy lines and a lot of laughter I didn't build the moment at all).After I got home I've clered my mind and got back my chill apperance again. I hit the gym and I look great and I have a lot of other projects I work on so I wont fall in that annoying trap of needyness again even if I value her so much.


You have sugestions for good gifts? I don't want something to expensive because it will look like I'm wanting to buy her attention. I wold really like something meaningful. Thanks ?


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Posted by HarleyTwinFlame
Try calling her, and leave a message..

Then walk away and give her space..


You could ask how's she's been and bring up a possibility for another date in the future, and that you've been thinking of her and for her to text or give a call when she has a moment
We actually talked back then on Christmas that we will meet in the upcoming holiday (in 2 weeks from this moment). I sent her the last message 2 days ago (the story is in one of my comments) and I promised myself that I eill text her only when the holidays will come.
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Posted by Evoxxxscorpio
lol stop giving her too much attention get busy and do something else they love attention and if she really cares for you and she's not getting it she will reach out then you'll know where you stand.
I'm working on something big right now and I'm not calling her for at least 2 weeks. I started this thread to clear my mind a little bit, cool off and understand the situation better... Thanks for your responses guys, you are the best ?
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Posted by DivaCanLeo
Posted by Evoxxxscorpio
lol stop giving her too much attention get busy and do something else they love attention and if she really cares for you and she's not getting it she will reach out then you'll know where you stand.
No if someone doesn't show me complete attention I'm out.


But I'm mostly Leo
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She have a Leo rising, so she looks realy confident and shiny from the outside ??


She seems to appreciate my personal space so if she doesn't respond now I'll just mind my bussines, improve myself (If im missing someone I have an amazing hunger for physical activity and great results in the gym *perks of beeing aries*)


And about atenttion, you know how is the fire signs ego... I can't step in my pride and show her attention if she doesn't text back. What to do then?


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Posted by AriesFireKnight
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by AriesFireKnight
Posted by pinkbird03
I get quiet and distant when I'm confused, scared, not interested, or feel guilty for leading a guy on and not feeling the same way he does. Cancer btw.
Hey pinkbird ? I have a clue on what it might be so you can give me your opinion... My ex confessed me that I rush to hard our prevoius relationship and I scared her off a little bit when I first kissed her (aries sun and moon under the soft cancer rising, so people are often scared of my true nature).


Maybe she have the same feeling right now an feels like the whole thing is going on too fast. I mean is the 2nd time I see her and I know her for only a month. It is also a long distance relationship... In a similar situation I think you would've stepped back a little bit, am I right?


I don't want to commit to anything too. Is just my way of dealing with relatioships. You think that if I wait for the situation to cool off a little bitbfor a week or two and then text her like nothing happened everything will be ok? She really showed me that she likes me before all that and kissed me back... I don't really think she don't feel something.


Yes, I might step back if you're making me uncomfortable. Too fast is never too good. But I'm not sure I think you're moving too fast. I just had a second date in one week with a cancer man and we kissed for the first time. What I think might be the problem is the distance. That's a deal breaker for me. But don't give up yet. I think you need to prove to her that you're a great guy by getting off dating sites, Initiate conversations, flirt a little, don't bring up the fact that she's acting funny, eventually set up another date, and buy her a special gift like jewelry.
Before I met her the distance was a dealbreaker for me too, I had a bad experience before and I promised myself that I would never get back on that kind of stuff again. She mentioned me that she waited 7 months for her last boyfriend with the idea that the distance is not such a big deal for her.


At the end of our date after I kissed her I becomed a little bit mushy and clingy (I was stoned tho) and she was a little bit uncomfortable. Also i forced a little bit the whole thing (again, I was stoned, beside some cheesy lines and a lot of laughter I didn't build the moment at all).After I got home I've clered my mind and got back my chill apperance again. I hit the gym and I look great and I have a lot of other projects I work on so I wont fall in that annoying trap of needyness again even if I value her so much.


You have sugestions for good gifts? I don't want something to expensive because it will look like I'm wanting to buy her attention. I wold really like something meaningful. Thanks ?


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So maybe you should tell her all of this. Be vulnerable. Girls love that or at least I do. I personally think jewelry is special. Maybe roses if you give them to her in private. The cancer I'm dating just texted me saying he bought my favorite wine in case I wanted to go over there for dinner. I think that's very sweet.
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Posted by Evoxxxscorpio
If I had given that cancer too much attention we wouldn't be together for 5 yrs lol so think about that lol
I agree here, I liked the fact that we could talk just once or twice a week on some casual and fun subjects. The thing was that we both responded on important messages and never 'seen' eachother for no reason.


It bugged me when she broke this unwritten law, because everything was perfect for the both sides.
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Posted by Evoxxxscorpio
Posted by AriesFireKnight
Posted by Evoxxxscorpio
If I had given that cancer too much attention we wouldn't be together for 5 yrs lol so think about that lol
I agree here, I liked the fact that we could talk just once or twice a week on some casual and fun subjects. The thing was that we both responded on important messages and never 'seen' eachother for no reason.


It bugged me when she broke this unwritten law, because everything was perfect for the both sides.
Lol cancer I went out and lived with for 5 chased me forever while everyone else was chasing her and btw I didn't do that in purpose in the early stages she's very good looking btw.
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Same here mate... I wasn't such into it until now and all of thi really worked in my favor. Get a little bit softer and nervous after that kiss, the interest goes down.


You know what, I miss her but this thing gives me a lot of motivation (anger most of the time but it feels like home for me) and this week I started working heavy on the gym because of that. Next time she will see me she will also recieve a bonus 6 pack and probably 2000 euro if I manage to nail that presentation ??


Damn I love this state of mind!! Fire ♈??

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Canver and Aries just isn't a good combination maybe in the beginning its ok and the fire is attractive as cancers like a manly man but I dont think it works well long term unless your Synatry chart has some outstanding attributes. Cancer is all about the way she (especially females) FEELS - we feel our wa ythrough everything and are pretty black and white about it


if something makes us feel god we gravitate to it and vice versa away from


Tinder multiple women stuff is a NO
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This video might help.

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