Hey guys! So here's what's up. I've got a bit of a flirtationship going with this Cancer guy in my friend group. But, I'm not pursuing it fully because I've just got a lot of other things going on, but I am interested. Nothing has been spoken between us but there are the tell tale signs of flirting; possessiveness when we are out etc. The other day I thought we were going out as a group but I got the sneaking suspicion we had been set up on a double date. I think we were both caught off guard so we were both a bit awkward (very unusual vibe between us). Later, I was being playful and asked for his check, and he suddenly SNAPPED at me. He said "I can do it for myself, I don't need you to do it for me!" ... I really didn't know where the anger came from. I apologized sincerely and told him my intention wasnt to step on his toes. Then I turned and talked to another friend because I could feel myself getting mad that I had been snapped at in public.
So here is my question; what did I do? Was it the actual check thing? Was it the awkward vibe + the check thing?
Secondly,
A little while later I noticed he had disappeared with the girl who I thought was "setting us up", when they came back I heard him yell at her to "stop playing match maker!" (such a crazy thing to hear, especially along with my suspicion). So I get into a convo with them and he begins to tell me about some girl he wants to pursue and all the things he likes about her that are SO different than me (eye roll). I told him he should totally pursue her and she seemed lovely. But I have a suspicion this was all an attempt to make me jealous. Ultimately, as soon as I told him how great he was and that she would be an idiot to turn him down, he turned into his old loving self; Affectionate, attentive, touchy-feely etc.
I'd love some insight on this too. I think I heard this is a classic Cancer move, to try and make you jealous when they are feeling insecure. Is it?
I'm used to my Leo's and Taurus's. The only Cancer's in my life have been girlfriends and those all imploded after some years. So any insight on Cancer men would be great.
It sounds like his 'snapping' was a classic cancer moment. They are notorious for their mood swings.
However, I can't advice that he wanted to make you jealous or likes you in that way. It sounds like he might be interested in someone else and/or not interested in pursuing you.
When you say check, what do u mean?
At first glance I'd say uve just been reading the wrong signals. Maybe ur friends have put ideas into ur head that he fancies you nd uve fallen for it.
Why else would he moan to ur friend about matchmaking. It's no excuse to have a go at u tho.
Some cancers are very mixed up people. I sometimes can be very difficult to understand. Sounds like u really like the guy tho.
My advice just keep a distance, don't get too involved just yet. If he's saying he likes this girl in front of u then he may genuinely not like u in a romantic way.
Either that or he's a player nd no girl has time for one of them.
I'm sure ul get more advice shortly. Good luck.
I mean the check at a bar. (And that is actually a fight I've had with 2 seperate Cancer girl's before). I ask for their check and they snap... which to me is just so weird, I don't see what is upsetting about your friend trying to get your check from the bartender for you, not pay it, just asking for it to be brought over. It's efficient, I'm getting mine, I'll ask for yours too.
Ultimately, whether I give this guy my time or not, if he is gonna fly off the handle at stupid ish, it's not the situation for me. But, I do want to understand the thought process... I'd be up for changing my opinion on my behavior if a Cancer could justify it. You know?
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Sep 07, 2011Comments: 298 · Posts: 5049 · Topics: 48
I get so pissed off when friends would set me up with people they are trying to match me up with. Let that happen naturally meddlesome goober smoochers!
He probably was annoyed with the awkward situation of being put on the spot. He also might think you were part of the hustle and now thinks you're 12.
And we like to pay for our own. We're not bums. It can also come off as condescending. I don't know we usually discuss it while we're planning where to meet. I never fight with my ram homies. We get along great.
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Sep 07, 2011Comments: 298 · Posts: 5049 · Topics: 48
Yeah he was already embarrassed from the love intervention (lol) so he was being a twat.
I apologize for us crabs. We're freaking weirdos and don't know how to act when we're caught off guard. You seem lovely.
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Sep 07, 2011Comments: 298 · Posts: 5049 · Topics: 48
Most cancer guys like paying the bill on a date. But that wasn't a date so he wanted to pay his share.
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Oct 12, 2007Comments: 0 · Posts: 1121 · Topics: 38
#1 He is not interested in you and he was pissed the chick had you under the impression that he would be romantically interested in you. That put him in a very awkward situation and Cancer's do not like being put on the spot. Cancer's like to decide who we like for ourselves and our interest can depend on a lot of things, something no one else would be able to know.
#2 A Cancer man doesn't want a woman paying anything for him and to offer is not a compliment, its viewed as being weak and Cancers are very adamant about being able to stand on their own.
#3 A Cancer talking about another woman to a woman that's interested in him is the kiss of death. It's the fastest way for us to let you know we're not interested in you. His reaction after you said what you said doesn't have anything to do with him being insecure. He was happy you didn't get upset when he brought up the other woman as to him that lets him know you are cool with the fact that he isn't into you romantically.
#4 MOVE ON!
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May 13, 2015Comments: 1 · Posts: 296 · Topics: 14
And here's how you know that all Cancer's are different:
My Cancer friend (we're in a weird relationship) brought up girls he met on a dating site, which prompted a cute witty response from me about 'just be with me, they're a mess' kind of thing. Well, it turns out that was his way of seeing if I had been on any dating sites; and then he copped to only having met them last year ('14) and he hadn't met or been with any girls since he met me. So that was him trying to make me jealous, and seeing if I was interested in anyone else, and seeing my level of interest in him.
Also, out one night, he met me and I ordered a drink, asked if he wanted one, and then paid for both. He was embarrassed when he saw the tab because we were at a very expensive place and I could tell he would have paid had he known his on-the-rocks was going to be $ 20. Another time he waited for me to offer to pay for my own drink, and then paid for me. He wanted to see how I was playing it, I guess. So.
Also, they really do like to go at their own pace. He may have been chewing out your mutual friend because he wants to do things at his own pace and doesn't want to be rushed into anything he personally is not ready for. It may not have meant he wasn't interested in you, it may have just meant he doesn't want anyone else facilitating your relationship. Some Crabs can be S-L-O-WWWWW moving.
I think you may have to ask him out to see where you stand.
Yes, I know, that is exactly how I described the situation in the post directly above yours.
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Sep 07, 2011Comments: 298 · Posts: 5049 · Topics: 48
She's trying to understand what set him off to little bitch mode. I actually think he was still recovering from his friend's ambush and was testy. He might have realized he was out of line and went back to friendly to cover up that he misinterpreted your action which was to just bring the check to the front.
Again I do apologize! LOL!
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Oct 12, 2007Comments: 0 · Posts: 1121 · Topics: 38
Bottom line is that you like this guy but it's obvious he doesn't want a relationship with you so stop trying to press the issue. That is why he snapped and got upset because it's coming across that you and chick are trying to force him into something with you and I'm not buying you knew nothing about it. If he wanted a relationship with you he would have told you and asked you out he hasn't so he's not into you and the fact that you even started this thread in the first place proves you're reading too much into his behavior with you.
Continue to be his friend if you want but back off with trying to make him romantically interested in you because you're only going to get snapped at again.
HAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAAAA.
OH KAY.
That was a very childish reaction. Mature men don't behave like that. IJS
If a person isn't interested, there's no need to be nasty.
If this guy reacts this way over minor stuff, God forbid if something major were to happen.