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Jan 05, 2015Comments: 14 · Posts: 5462 · Topics: 94
How far away did you move? maybe he feels "what's the point?" starting anything since you are not close by anymore..so in his own way he is detaching himself.
Can you talk to him on the phone at least as opposed to text/email?
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Nov 10, 2014Comments: 0 · Posts: 1190 · Topics: 29
Biggest problem with cancer chasers is that they don't know how to approach them the right way. If you do and you have cancer problems and not problems that depend on the ways of the person itself then you will see how easy it can be to get a cancer to cooperate. A lot of chasers on here says cancers like to be chased just so they can turn them down and they like attention. No. Big no. They hate to be chased but they love it when no chasing happens. They want both people to put equal work in. Most cancer chasers think cancers like attention. No. They really hate attention. Especially the wrong attention brought by over dramatic people who keep overreacting to what they think is simple stuff. They like long lasting relationships so they want to know how durable you are. If a cancer is dating you for 2 months or over they are interested and see a future with you. If you drag your feet they won't take you serious and most cancers can tell when you're not being genuine. They hate fake ness. Ever seen a cancer talk to someone they first met vs someone they've known for a long time who doesn't show interest in them? With the new person the cancer is open like a book and doesn't hold back. That's what they want. That's what they need. So think of how they were to you when you first met. That's what they want. When people treat them how they treat other people especially ones they love they will give it back.
StarChild, from your other topic and this, I think I'm finally getting what you mean? In that they need the same level of care, affection and communication as they give? The thing is that I'm really private and independant, it's not that I don't care or don't love them, it's who I've grown up to be and knowing him for five years, I just assume he knows that and that I'm not just playing hard to get or whatever. If I didn't care for him I wouldn't ask to meet him whenever I go back in town when he's blown me off before, I wouldn't still be trying to contact him when he's ignored me before.
I'm close to just giving up all my efforts because as I said, I am not a chaser. If he doesn't want me in his life anymore then so be it, we'll both live but it's 5 years of a strong bond where we've both shaped each other into the adults we are now. I need to be sure because I don't want to spend any more time trying to understand someone who acts like we never had anything to start with.
I guess everything could be solved with a straight talk but it's only going to be in September the earliest, what do you think I should do until then? Keep trying to talk to him, make more efforts or just leave it as is until we speak?
I know I'll still be hung up on him until I get closure but he could've moved on by then, I don't know how he feels after all.
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Jan 05, 2015Comments: 14 · Posts: 5462 · Topics: 94
Well I dunno I think he had feelings for you...but you didn't reciprocate in the way he wanted so he crawled into his shell :/
The infamous Cancerian shell...has anyone found a way to really crack it or lure them out yet? haha
Maybe I didn't explain that clearly - I'm just on my phone so will try to explain better when I have time & am on my computer.
See, I've rarely been put in a situation where I actually wanted to work on keeping someone in my life. I usually just let people come and go because such is life and I know I'll be there if they need me and vice versa, I don't need constant communication for people to matter in my life. If I've trusted you once and you never done me wrong, we're still friends even after years of no communicating. Then again those people are usually dominant Sagittarius, Aquarian, Cap and Aries pals, haha. I guess my inexperience with water signs is showing despite my Scorpio-heavy chart!
I send him texts whenever something reminds me of him and like, little inside jokes. I don't want to come on too strong either, I already said I missed him last time we saw each other and he just bear-hugged me and said I was being sappy, lol.
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Jan 05, 2015Comments: 14 · Posts: 5462 · Topics: 94
I see it as you have 2 options liya92...you can either walk away from this guy completely ooor tell him your feelings and then you don't have to wonder "what if" and all that shit. Tell him and then he can make a decision based off the info and if he's interested he will reach out and who knows what will happen.
okay so i'm going to bring this back on the table although i don't feel as passionately as i did when i posted this topic...i guess it's for some sort of closure and whatever you guys feel like adding, i'm open to discussion so i can understand whatever is going on from an outsider/cancerian/psychologist/therapist/bystander point of view.
so i cooled down, occasionally sending him internet things he'd enjoy but usually our exchange would go like this :
Me : *sends link and witty comment*
Him : replies back on topic
Me : replies back on same topic
Him : NOTHING. Niet. Nada. Just a "read" notification.
I mean. It's literally all the time now and not only is it hurting my feelings but I also feel like it's gone beyond game-plays and he's just entered an asshole phase. I've stopped messaging him two weeks ago because I'm really trying to keep my distance but then he messaged me and dared to ignore me AGAIN after I replied. And it's like...I don't get it? Who does that?? Why is it a thing that people do?
Anyway, I've also heard that he'd tried to sleep (twice) with a (blonde blue-eyed Aquarian) friend I'd introduced him, the year before we slept together. So there's me feeling like I'd not only been third-wheeling but also used as last resort for some horny dickhead without me realising it.
Oh yeah, and real life conversation is still not possible because he's in whatever bullshit country for the summer.
I guess this has gone beyond astrology because I can't possibly link any of that to Cancerian behaviour unless it's a grand scheme in order to protect some fragile little heart and a sizeable ego like I've been the offender in all this.
Welp, you guys.
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Mar 04, 2015Comments: 0 · Posts: 210 · Topics: 11
I did not reread all the old stuff, but everything you just wrote today sounds incredibly familiar to me. It is the most frustrating process. If my cancer never answered or reached out, or ever said anything that showed care, I would assume he wanted nothing to do with me. It is that checking in every once in a while that makes everything sooooo confusing. I for one am glad that mine keeps checking in. I do not want to let go. However, I can see how it would be preferable for many for the cancer to disappear so they can just move on.
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Nov 10, 2014Comments: 0 · Posts: 1190 · Topics: 29
I didn't read anything but the last page but I know when you have that thing going when a cancer reaches out and then disappears after that means they were too shy to get the conversation going but wanted to make the initial reach out. Those times did you say one word answers or not reply or say a basic common answer? They can see that as rejection because it seems like you're not interested in them or their conversation because it looks like your not engaged. That slight feel of rejection will make them throw their hands up and say I tried and it ain't working out and they'll go back to silence and check in later to see if they'll get a different reaction. If you keep giving the sane eventually they will disappear for good. That's why you'll notice the people who are just as energetic or into the conversation as cancers are are the ones cancers won't hide from. DONT EVER TRY TO ACT MODEST AROUND A CANCER because they will smell your insecurity and will know your being modest to put up a fake front or they will think you don't fuck with them. This was my biggest mistake with my friend since the beginning.