Cancer Guys are Just Too Much Fun

I can't say much for him, but kudos to you for recognizing a situation and not falling for his mind games.

Don't worry about what he thinks. You already know he's too much trouble and keep on moving. I think Cancer men do have a soft, dreamy side, so maybe he is romanticizing what could have been between you two. But his dreams shouldn't hold you up from your own progress.

Amen, sister. How old are you by the way?

Just turned 47 and getting smarter every day.....lol

Kate

No way we are.

whats his moon sign?? just curious..

he could just be ready now to take a step forward, that's all. we cancer men dont' play games when it comes to these things, i think we get a bad rap for it... maybe i'm only speaking for myself, but i'm just not smart enough to play games hahaha...

True enough all cancers have a fantasy world that we visit REGULARLY. At the same time, we are usually not "make-it-up-as-you-go" types.....we love emotional security too much for that...that's more of a gemini trait. What cancers will have, however, is a beautiful, perfect, idyllic scene from our fantasy world that we will easily spend a lifetime trying to find a person that fits into it as best as possible. And we do hang out a lot in the past...therefore, his actions only mean that even though he's all f-cked up, there is something in you that fits into his idyllic scene, therefore he is hanging onto his past with you and still somewhat dreaming of a future---because BELIEVE ME, if that wasn't the case he'd already have his attention in another direction---the direction of the woman who he was convinced fit well into his idyllic scene!

he could still love her.. only he would know that. it sounds like he definitely cares about you. if, however, you're not willing to give him another chance at being more than friends, and he isn't ready to take that step anyway, then you should probably end the friendship altogether. he won't let go of his feelings for you easily, and if he's anything like me (cancer-wise) then the more he sees you the more he'll develop feelings for you.

It can be complicated......just because you fit somehow into his perfect picture doesn't mean he is guaranteed not to be too screwed up to know what to do with you. It also doesn't mean that some other woman doesn't fit into it in some way as well. Cancers have a difficult time truly getting over anybody that was really good to them. It think you've made the right decision to move on...this guy sounds screwed up. I'm just letting you know where his head is likely to be at.

sorry, i didn't mean to confuse. i was going under the assumption that you weren't going to give him another chance. if there's no chance at being more than friends between you two, then you should end it because his feelings will probably only get stronger. however, that doesn't mean he'll act on them in the way you want him to.

ohhhhhh that makes a LOT of sense, then. this probably has a LOT to do with where he is.

i was in a relationship like this once when i was younger. for me, these things played largely in my head:

1. she probably treated him well in the beginning (the living in the past bit plays a large role here)
2. he can't stand rejection and his stubbornness won't let her rejection of him go. coupled with the fact that we hate failing in anything, and a relationship is a BIGGY... well, you can imagine.
3. the more you try to detach from a cancer (i.e., kicking him out, ignoring him, etc.)when he's given his "all" to you, then the more clingy and unstable he becomes.

i know that my self esteem was a wreck after that (albeit short) relationship and took me what seemed like FOREVER to get myself out of that funk

you can always do the, "call me when you get your shit together. till then stay away, because despite how i feel about you, i can't wait around in a limbo blah blah blah" bit... not really rejection, and it puts the ball in his court. don't know if that really works, but who knows?

honestly, i really don't know what you should do... everyone has their own reasons for acting the way they do. after my relationship i mentioned ended, i had an opportunity with someone else that i know i would've been much happier and whom i would've loved so much more, but i couldn't bring myself to do anything about it despite it having been much more than the "normal" recovery time because it wouldn't have been fair to her, because she deserved so much more than i had at the time.

—? what was that in response to—

you know, it seems like he's feeling depressed and wants reassurance that you're still there and he's still important to you. so take it at somewhat of face value, i guess. he's probably feeling insecure about where you and he are at the moment--and he should, since he hasn't done anything to ensure that you and he are on solid ground as far as a relationship is concerned. IMO, if he's not going to take that step with you, then he has no right to text you such messages

don't let him make himself into the victim though... if you're going to have "the talk" with him again (and i'm not saying do it now), then remind him that it's in his power to make himself whole and to take your relationship to another level... until then he should be able to seperate those types of feelings from your relationship.

man that must suck to write, kate. i hope it works out for you, as friends or more

wow kate, that is beautiful. i don't think any cancer wouldn't be touched by that.

very nice..