Cancer man and games?

So, please tell me what is the difference between the "push/pull" and the pull back (as in he is not interested)? Is there a difference? I hope I didn't confuse anyone. Does the push/pull indicate that he could be interested but is not sure? If he tries to keep in contact with you when you leave, is that a good sign?

Sorry, meant to say a bit more. What if he does like you but is not sure of your feelings for him? Will that then cause him to hide his feelings and do the disappearing/pull back thing? The push/pull thing. You guys really are confusing.

Question seems to be a little general to me. Anyway, speaking from my experience yes push/pull means that he is interested but not sure...

If he is not sure about your feelings towards him he will probe you a lot...during simple covos...He may not even want something but he will ask you for that stuff...be giving and if he is a typical cancer he will double return it..


JUST BE YOURSELF/SINCERE/SUPPORTIVE DO NOT BEND A LOT. No need for confusion if he loves you gonna know about it.

i mean being selfless and supportive

If a Cancer guy wants u...trust me... you"ll know...they will make it known

Posted by Cancer1986LeoCusp


Question seems to be a little general to me. Anyway, speaking from my experience yes push/pull means that he is interested but not sure...

If he is not sure about your feelings towards him he will probe you a lot...during simple covos...He may not even want something but he will ask you for that stuff...be giving and if he is a typical cancer he will double return it..


JUST BE YOURSELF/SINCERE/SUPPORTIVE DO NOT BEND A LOT. No need for confusion if he loves you gonna know about it.

Thanks so much Cancer1986,

Yeah, my question is pretty general. I guess I'm just so confused. I'm a virgo and we analyze everything and believe you me, one thing we virgos don't like to be, is confused. Funny thing, I have asked this question to a few cancer men and I've recieved different responses from each one so I dont know what to think...

There is a cancer guy that I think may be interested in me but I am just not sure. Another cancer man recently told me that if I am not sure that it means that he is not sure (?) He said that it was 'weird" and that cancer men pretty much let the object of their affection know that they are interested in very upfront ways(?) If so, why have I always read/heard/been told that cancer men are anything but direct?

He has done quite a few things that made me think that he is interested (flirting, teasing, improving his appearance for me, showing signs of jealousy & cutting communication with me when I talk to other guys, finding reasons to come around me, laughing at my jokes that are NOT meant to be funny, showing his vulnerability, compliments me, gets very nervous around me when we are alone and much more) but he also seems like a player so it's hard because I don't know. Don't want to get my heart broken. My intuition tells me that he likes me but I could be wrong. What should I do?

Also, I have never really shown him my feelings so I pretty much have given him nothing to go on. At first I didn't even realize that he was flirting with me until days later and of course I had to intellectualize it. I analyze his every move forward and backwards and pretty much just end up at the same place. I don't want to be just another 'girl' so that is the reason I have not been very open. Cancer men have a rep. for being flirtatious players.

It's sad because I feel like it's almost as if he wants me to jump throu

Continued from above

It's sad because I feel like it's almost as if he wants me to jump through a ton of hoops (I feel like he's always testing me and playing games) in order to find out the true person that lies beneath and if he is sincerely interested in me or not.

Posted by gemtaur
"He may not even want something but he will ask you for that stuff..."

Hunh? Her kitty? Her heart? Her pencil? What "stuff" do you mean Cancer—

Aren't you glad you asked a Cancer guy?

*banging head on table*

In my experience, Vixen, he'll make his feelings/intentions known but in very indirect ways and if you don't reciprocate, he'll pull back. If he really likes you, he'll get frustrated by your seeming lack of response, but he'll try again in his roundabout way. I found all of this manipulative and got frustrated but I'm a Gem, maybe Virgos are betting at dealing with the indirectness.

Gemtaur,

You are hilarious. While I am extremely greatful to all of the cancer men who have given me their take, I still just don't know. Perhaps I will have to walk straight up to my guy myself and ask him flat out "do you like me?". Take the risk. Put my heart right out there on the line. After all, what's the worst that could happen? He's a great guy btw, with the exception of all the indirectness. He's extremely shy around me but not so around other girls. And he stares at me when I'm not looking. Caught him doing this a few times. Who knows. Maybe it's all in my head. Cancers have a special way of making us virgos feel like we're going nuts. ;o)

Posted by Cancershorti27
If a Cancer guy wants u...trust me... you"ll know...they will make it known

Yes, so I've been told. Thanks for your input.

VirgoVixxxen,

I can only make a guess here as a cancer, i think that he already knows that you have a crush on him. He can see it
already that you are confused/clueless it gives him a pleasure. That is why he acts like you described above (jealous...).

If you decide to tell openly that you love him i have 2 scenarios:

1. He will disappear
2. He will be terribly happy and will be smiling for a long time, your words will be sounding on his ears repeatedly.
BUT let me warn you so that you would be ready, he may have just sympathy towards you otherwise you would already have known about his love...

Posted by Cancer1986LeoCusp


VirgoVixxxen,

I can only make a guess here as a cancer, i think that he already knows that you have a crush on him. He can see it
already that you are confused/clueless it gives him a pleasure. That is why he acts like you described above (jealous...).

If you decide to tell openly that you love him i have 2 scenarios:

1. He will disappear
2. He will be terribly happy and will be smiling for a long time, your words will be sounding on his ears repeatedly.
BUT let me warn you so that you would be ready, he may have just sympathy towards you otherwise you would already have known about his love...

Cancer1986,

I figured he was "on to me" and perhaps just using me for an ego boost. Oh I would never tell him that I love him. That would be too dangerous and risky for my heart. Really? If he liked me he would have told me already? Wow...

They have a special way of making everyone think we're going nuts.

Nooooo. Take it from Gem: don't do that. He will put up a million barricades and reject you. That's what happened to me Also, don't be direct about your feelings for him: he will RUN lol And of course I learned all of this after the fact. If you really like him, just be there and get to know him; you cannot push and prod them to do anything they don't want to. Don't listen to what he says, WATCH his ACTIONS. Don't analyze his every move, dear fellow Mercury-ruled sign, it will drive you absolutely crazy. Just be there, be you, and see where it goes. If you really like him that is; if you don't, pull the cord and find a more direct person.


Gemtaur, really though? So from reading my posts, you think it's all a game? For him? Ouch.

No, I won't be direct at all. I get the sense that he loves attention. Gosh, I am so greatful for this advice, dear fellow mercury-ruled sign. I don't even think that I want to try being his friend now after knowing this. I think I may just pull the cord before I find myself in too deep. ;o)

Posted by gemtaur
^^ Absolutely. But if you don't reciprocate in the way that they expect, they PULL back. That was my experience. This may be what Vixen is referring to? Don't mean to keep interjecting...

LOL CancerLeo - Thank you!

No, please. Interject! interject! This is so helpful. Damned be any woman who has to go through the "tests" or "games" of a cancerian man for the first time on her own! It's like you have to be armed with knowledge and a kick-as.s support group!

Posted by gemtaur

Posted by VirgoVixxxen
Continued from above

It's sad because I feel like it's almost as if he wants me to jump through a ton of hoops (I feel like he's always testing me and playing games) in order to find out the true person that lies beneath and if he is sincerely interested in me or not.

Yes, yes, and yes. And the more he likes you, the more and bigger the hoops. At the end of the day, you have to decide whether it's in you to do this or not. Have you ever hinted that you liked him? If you haven't, you might want to try that - just a HINT - and see what happens. If he doesn't take the bait, I'd say he's playing games and likes the attention.

click to expand

Gemtaur, I think I am going to just stop everything completely. Seriously, this is too much for my fragile virgo psyche. I don't want to be made to look foolish by someone who is just out for an ego boost.

No, I never told him or hinted that I liked him. Ever. However, like Cancer1986 said, I think that he could tell (damn you cancers with your intuition) because it's like he slowly crept into my heart and perhaps my behavior did change, giving my true feelings away. Not change in the sense that I was flirtatious or anything like that, but just that I began to act more akward. Like aloof and weird. I am quite shy around my crushes so, I guess there is no doubt that he picked up on it and just used it for his own emotional pleasure (can you say selfish?). Oh well, what's a girl to do? We can't help who we like but I did keep myself pretty controlled so, I feel alright about that. Funny, sometimes he treated me like a baby. Like he was "suffering" me almost. I don't have many experiences with men and I think it shows. Perhaps he thought I was just a little girl.

Posted by VirgoVixxxen

Posted by Cancer1986LeoCusp


VirgoVixxxen,

I can only make a guess here as a cancer, i think that he already knows that you have a crush on him. He can see it
already that you are confused/clueless it gives him a pleasure. That is why he acts like you described above (jealous...).

If you decide to tell openly that you love him i have 2 scenarios:

1. He will disappear
2. He will be terribly happy and will be smiling for a long time, your words will be sounding on his ears repeatedly.
BUT let me warn you so that you would be ready, he may have just sympathy towards you otherwise you would already have known about his love...

Cancer1986,

I figured he was "on to me" and perhaps just using me for an ego boost. Oh I would never tell him that I love him. That would be too dangerous and risky for my heart. Really? If he liked me he would have told me already? Wow...

click to expand

Hey, you are getting too harsh now..."using for ego boost"...he may just like you , to hang out with you, be friends...
personally i enjoy virgos company..

Posted by waitingtoharvest
hey virgovixxxen,
i hear you loud and clear. as a virgo myself, i overanalyze things my cancer guy says, does... although i try not to. it just makes me more anxious and worked up. i have to remind myself that people have things to do (school/work/family/errands/life!) and don't operate the way i do. one day he's super excited to see me and then i won't hear from him for a few days. i've made it known that i'm interested in him (gone on dates, made him dinner, initiate communication). i get the same push/pull, and can't make much sense of it. for me, i think it's worth waiting out and seeing what happens. patience is key. on the flip side, i don't want to waste my time on something that isn't going anywhere. i want to go with the flow, see what happens, but it's frustrating at times. i would agree with the hinting at your interest in him. i think he'll get it since that's the way he communicates.

Hey waitingtoharvest,

Yeah we do think too damn much don't we? It would be nice if we could be more like our fellow-mercury ruled sign of gemini (hey gemtaur honey!) and be able to drop ideas as fast as we pick them up...but nooooooo...not with us...we have to obsess and stress over and over and over again. Sometimes I tire myself out (literally) by simply trying to analyze someone's actions.

Cancer man/virgo woman is a nice pairing (so I'm told) and I see this combination quite frequently as the other way 'round. Cancers and virgos really seem to balance eachother out. However, not every cancer man is for every virgo woman and vice versa. Yes, they say cancers will tell us when we are thinking too much. LOL. I agree with you when you say you don't want to invest in something that's not going anywhere. I just don't know if I can or even want to try. I have to be honest when I say it's a bit much for me. Emotionally at least. I'm used to guys telling me straight out how they feel. This is new for me and quite scary. You know how we virgos are. We need things to be concrete! Cancers require alot. Especially for a young, pretty inexperienced, not very emotional virgo such as myself. I don't want to let my walls down and then it's all a game.

Posted by Cancer1986LeoCusp

Posted by VirgoVixxxen

Posted by Cancer1986LeoCusp


VirgoVixxxen,

I can only make a guess here as a cancer, i think that he already knows that you have a crush on him. He can see it
already that you are confused/clueless it gives him a pleasure. That is why he acts like you described above (jealous...).

If you decide to tell openly that you love him i have 2 scenarios:

1. He will disappear
2. He will be terribly happy and will be smiling for a long time, your words will be sounding on his ears repeatedly.
BUT let me warn you so that you would be ready, he may have just sympathy towards you otherwise you would already have known about his love...

Cancer1986,

I figured he was "on to me" and perhaps just using me for an ego boost. Oh I would never tell him that I love him. That would be too dangerous and risky for my heart. Really? If he liked me he would have told me already? Wow...

Hey, you are getting too harsh now..."using for ego boost"...he may just like you , to hang out with you, be friends...
personally i enjoy virgos company..

click to expand

Well thanks cancer1986, but I think I'm done.

Posted by gemtaur
Vixxen,

You seem like a lovely person and any man would be lucky to date you. If this does not work out, believe me it is not you.
Cancer men can easily drive the most self-assured, intelligent woman batty. It has got nothing to do with you. They do not know what it is they want and why it is they feel the way they do a good portion of the time and they take that out on us. I do not think a Cancer man should even consider a serious relationship until they're well into their forties. But that's just me, maybe others have been luckier.

As for your situation, the more you analyze what has passed between you two, the more you are going to feel as though he was manipulating you and using you for an ego boost. That's exactly how I felt until I realized he is simply indirect and cannot be direct to save his life. I realized this after I went medieval on his a.s.s., at which point he blocked all contact with me. So more hoops for me to jump through, because I initially rejected him. I had perfectly legit reasons but he didn't see that, all he felt was the pain/humiliation of initial rejection or whatever. He wasn't able to get over that. I mishandled it and I over-reacted and all that stuff, I admit it, but at the end of the day, any kind of relationship is about communication and compromise (I could keep telling him his assumptions, his insecurities, doubts, inability to trust me, etc., are incorrect until I was blue in the face - and believe me I tried this) but I got neither from him, so I gave up. I think about him every day and I know I'll never forget him, but I just can't always be the one compromising and bending over backwards and him not budging an inch. In another thread, Mr. Crabby mentioned that he doesn't believe in compromise, so there you go...

My suggestion would be to communicate your interest indirectly via a hint and leave it for him to act on. If he's interested he will, if not he won't. But at least you'll have your answer. But DO NOT, PLEASE DO NOT, focus on how he's taken advantage of you because that will not serve anyone's purposes. If that turns out to be the case, just chalk it up to life's not being fair and keep moving.


And CancerLeo, it might be harsh to think that way. But believe you me, it is much harsher when you are the recipient of a Cancer guy's behaviour.

Gemtaur,

Thank you for the sweet words. I app

It is rough because the only way that he started to creep into my heart in the first place is because he started flirting with me (I never flirt with anyone btw...ha ha)and then I got to know him a bit better and I tried to just keep my feelings under wraps. Up until now, I have never ever questioned myself as possibly going crazy(?) until having this experience with cancer man.

I have a theory about the crazy part however...maybe that "crazy" that we women or other people in general experience after having encountered a cancer is merely a way to give us an idea of what they experience emotionally on a day to day basis. The confusion, the back and forth, the uncertainty, the highs, the lows etc. It's almost like we are being 'put' into their shoes. I could only imagine how rough (and beautiful all at once)it must be to have such a wellspring of emotions that run so deep and yet be so sensitive at the same time. Maybe it helps us to be more empathetic towards them since they are awfully empathetic towards the world. Just a thought.

On another note, in the case of you and your cancer, it really sounds like you did all that you could to make it work and I agree that some cancer men should probably wait until they are well into their 40's to be in a serious relationship. You seem to have such a good handle on this and you could probably make some really good money teaching a "How To Survive A Cancer Man 101" course. LOL. You seem so knowledgeable about it all. I guess they need understanding because they are often confused. I will take your advice and not make it all about me. Perhaps that is the best way to play it. To understand that it's not necessarily personal, but just how they operate.
When was the last time you heard from your cancer? Has he been in touch?

Gemtaur,

the last two of my posts are for you. Sorry that I didn't specify.

Posted by VirgoVixxxen

I have a theory about the crazy part however...maybe that "crazy" that we women or other people in general experience after having encountered a cancer is merely a way to give us an idea of what they experience emotionally on a day to day basis. The confusion, the back and forth, the uncertainty, the highs, the lows etc. It's almost like we are being 'put' into their shoes. I could only imagine how rough (and beautiful all at once)it must be to have such a wellspring of emotions that run so deep and yet be so sensitive at the same time. Maybe it helps us to be more empathetic towards them since they are awfully empathetic towards the world. Just a thought.

Insightful thinking VirgoVixxxen...

But I'd listen to Cancer1986LeoCusp. He said it all in what... less than 100 words!

Impressive...

Hey guys!!..listen, u have to understand that we cancers operate through our feelings...we relie on how we feel all the time... this is why there is a push and pull situation..u see...if you are not intune with us... we will walk all over u..and sting u 2...u have to be really b intuitive 2 know when to push & when to pull... u have to to kno when to pull when he's pushin...and when to push when he's pullin...if that makes any sense...i'm tryin here...u jus have to kno...and the only way that u will kno is if your intuned with he or she...also when a cancer man is really in2 u...he will always be around u.... and make sure ur good....yess we r extremly busy!!...but that is because we r helpin others doing our errands and makin money...we cancers looovve money😉...but we also know that our family comes 1st then it's our significant other....virgo keep up ur head up!...if u feel like it's worth the fight...then fight..but if u r gonna kill urself by thinkin 2 much then it will neva wrk...learn to feel him...get intuned with him if...u really want him...if not.... don't beat urself up..gurl it's not even worth it.=)

Posted by gemtaur
No he hasn't Vixxen. I literally told him to leave me alone in a fit of anger and he has. At the end of the day, I'm not about to mother a man and be treated like crap in return; if that's what a man is looking for, he'll need to look elsewhere. Maybe that's what he figured out and he decided to cut the cord. Who knows?

But, sweetie, just stop analyzing. You have to shut it off. Busy yourself with other things, get out, see your friends, have fun, just do your normal activities. I really believe that if something's meant to be it will be; and if it's not, no matter how much you think about it or wish it to happen, it won't. You handled the situation the best you knew how and that's all anyone can ask of another. And leave it at that. I know you need to get this stuff off of your chest because it's been building up inside of you; write it all out and when you can't write anymore, rip it up or burn it. It's cathartic.

This says it all..not just about Cancer but about LIFE. You've analyzed it, now move forward

Posted by shellshocker

Posted by VirgoVixxxen

I have a theory about the crazy part however...maybe that "crazy" that we women or other people in general experience after having encountered a cancer is merely a way to give us an idea of what they experience emotionally on a day to day basis. The confusion, the back and forth, the uncertainty, the highs, the lows etc. It's almost like we are being 'put' into their shoes. I could only imagine how rough (and beautiful all at once)it must be to have such a wellspring of emotions that run so deep and yet be so sensitive at the same time. Maybe it helps us to be more empathetic towards them since they are awfully empathetic towards the world. Just a thought.

Insightful thinking VirgoVixxxen...

But I'd listen to Cancer1986LeoCusp. He said it all in what... less than 100 words!

Impressive...

click to expand

Thanks Shell and yes, I think that Cancer1986LeoCusp summed it up pretty well. Very greatful to everyone for their input.

Posted by passinatescorp
I just met a very handsome cancer guy, we noticed each other very quickly, he approaches me right off the bat and tells me he is very interested in me. I feel he's being very sincere with me with what he is telling me and i can feel he's a good man. So i guess it depends in what a cancer man is looking for or what he sees in a woman. In my opionion i think they can be very direct in what they want.

Passinatescorp,

Thanks for sharing your story. I completely understand now what you are all saying about cancer men being direct when they are truly into someone. Thanks again.

Posted by gemtaur
No he hasn't Vixxen. I literally told him to leave me alone in a fit of anger and he has. At the end of the day, I'm not about to mother a man and be treated like crap in return; if that's what a man is looking for, he'll need to look elsewhere. Maybe that's what he figured out and he decided to cut the cord. Who knows?

But, sweetie, just stop analyzing. You have to shut it off. Busy yourself with other things, get out, see your friends, have fun, just do your normal activities. I really believe that if something's meant to be it will be; and if it's not, no matter how much you think about it or wish it to happen, it won't. You handled the situation the best you knew how and that's all anyone can ask of another. And leave it at that. I know you need to get this stuff off of your chest because it's been building up inside of you; write it all out and when you can't write anymore, rip it up or burn it. It's cathartic.

I completely agree with you. I don't think that any person deserves good treatment from someone if they are not willing to return the favor. Even though you miss him, I think you did the right thing. Hopefully he has done alot of introspection during the time that you guys have been apart and is working to make a change within himself for the better.


I will definitely take your advice and STOP analyzing. My life is almost always pretty busy but then again, so is my mind. LOL. From this point on, if I find myself starting to analyze again, I will make a conscious effort to switch my mind to something else.

Posted by Cancershorti27
Hey guys!!..listen, u have to understand that we cancers operate through our feelings...we relie on how we feel all the time... this is why there is a push and pull situation..u see...if you are not intune with us... we will walk all over u..and sting u 2...u have to be really b intuitive 2 know when to push & when to pull... u have to to kno when to pull when he's pushin...and when to push when he's pullin...if that makes any sense...i'm tryin here...u jus have to kno...and the only way that u will kno is if your intuned with he or she...also when a cancer man is really in2 u...he will always be around u.... and make sure ur good....yess we r extremly busy!!...but that is because we r helpin others doing our errands and makin money...we cancers looovve money😉...but we also know that our family comes 1st then it's our significant other....virgo keep up ur head up!...if u feel like it's worth the fight...then fight..but if u r gonna kill urself by thinkin 2 much then it will neva wrk...learn to feel him...get intuned with him if...u really want him...if not.... don't beat urself up..gurl it's not even worth it.=)

Cancershorti27,

You are so cute and thanks for your wise words. I do hear what you are saying about the cancer emotions but being a virgo, it can be quite hard to express emotion but I do have them (smile). At this point, I won't do any pushing or pulling as I will say goodbye to this cancer man. I'm not going to strive for something that I am not sure about or for someone who hasn't clearly told me that he is interested. Also, it's funny you talk about money. I know that cancers love to make money...and eat good food! LOL!

Posted by WineVisionScorp

Posted by gemtaur
No he hasn't Vixxen. I literally told him to leave me alone in a fit of anger and he has. At the end of the day, I'm not about to mother a man and be treated like crap in return; if that's what a man is looking for, he'll need to look elsewhere. Maybe that's what he figured out and he decided to cut the cord. Who knows?

But, sweetie, just stop analyzing. You have to shut it off. Busy yourself with other things, get out, see your friends, have fun, just do your normal activities. I really believe that if something's meant to be it will be; and if it's not, no matter how much you think about it or wish it to happen, it won't. You handled the situation the best you knew how and that's all anyone can ask of another. And leave it at that. I know you need to get this stuff off of your chest because it's been building up inside of you; write it all out and when you can't write anymore, rip it up or burn it. It's cathartic.

This says it all..not just about Cancer but about LIFE. You've analyzed it, now move forward

click to expand

Will do.

Posted by gemtaur
That's the spirit, Vixxen. I can tell you are a very strong person; you will be just fine.

He was/is an amazing person. No one has impacted me the way he has. And he was perfect for me, except he was unwilling to compromise and relationships are about compromise. I am left feeling as though I was not important enough to him, but I'd rather accept the bitter truth than pretend to be something I'm not. What you see is what you get with me; maybe what he saw was not good enough for him. We all do our best and at the end of the day, that's all we can do.

Agreed Gemtaur and funny you should say this because it seems like cancer men will look for this ideal woman that doesn't even exist. It's ok to have high standards but sometimes it's a bit ridiculous and perhaps that's maybe why some of them find themselves unlucky in love because the perfect woman is just an illusion. As a virgo, I know a thing or two about what it means to have high standards and believe you me, I've been told time and again, that I am going to need to relax them if I ever want the possibility of true love.

You don't know how important you were to him. I think that when we assume, we sometimes end up taking ourselves to 'dangerous' places. There have been people in my life that I have cared about sooooo deeply and thought were sooooo amazing but because of my sensitivity (yes virgos are very sensitive) I have dropped a few of them out of my life for good because of one single slight (percieved or not) and left them wondering what the hell did they do? For me sometimes, it's like there are no second chances. Sort of the same way it seems that cancers can be. Once bitten twice shy. My reasoning for this is because I'm a very loyal and very, very genuine person. My friendship is sincere and I feel like it's a privelege for anyone to have my friendship and if someone has compromised my trust in them, it's very hard for me to keep them in my life. I know it sounds selfish but that's just the way it is. Perhaps I'm not seeing 'outside of myself' enough (I'm trying to work on it) but I hate it when people hurt me who I have been nothing but sincere to. The problem with this is that I sometimes don't see my own faults in the process because my sensitivity and feelings are first priority. The fact that I have been a sincere, and loyal friend gives me the right to not overlook a slight, whi

Continued from above

which of course is not fair in the least and as I said, I am working on it.

Like everyone has stated, cancers work from feelings first. Not logic. Your cancer guy is being a typical cancer. selfishly putting himself and his feelings first because they are first priority and that is just the way it is.

Agreed Gemtaur and funny you should say this because it seems like cancer men will look for this ideal woman that doesn't even exist. It's ok to have high standards but sometimes it's a bit ridiculous and perhaps that's maybe why some of them find themselves unlucky in love because the perfect woman is just an illusion.

It isn't an illusion. A Cancer will know it when they FEEL it. It probably won't fit anyone else's opinion of perfection... but it will be ours.

And we won't stop looking until we find it.

My friendship is sincere and I feel like it's a privelege for anyone to have my friendship and if someone has compromised my trust in them, it's very hard for me to keep them in my life. I know it sounds selfish but that's just the way it is. Perhaps I'm not seeing 'outside of myself' enough (I'm trying to work on it) but I hate it when people hurt me who I have been nothing but sincere to. The problem with this is that I sometimes don't see my own faults in the process because my sensitivity and feelings are first priority. The fact that I have been a sincere, and loyal friend gives me the right to not overlook a slight, whi

You contradict yourself so much...

Like everyone has stated, cancers work from feelings first. Not logic. Your cancer guy is being a typical cancer. selfishly putting himself and his feelings first because they are first priority and that is just the way it is.

click to expand

wOw... let it go already... or take it to the Virgo/Gem board. I can completely see why it didn't work out for you two ladies. NEXT!!!!

Posted by shellshocker

Agreed Gemtaur and funny you should say this because it seems like cancer men will look for this ideal woman that doesn't even exist. It's ok to have high standards but sometimes it's a bit ridiculous and perhaps that's maybe why some of them find themselves unlucky in love because the perfect woman is just an illusion.

It isn't an illusion. A Cancer will know it when they FEEL it. It probably won't fit anyone else's opinion of perfection... but it will be ours.

And we won't stop looking until we find it.

My friendship is sincere and I feel like it's a privelege for anyone to have my friendship and if someone has compromised my trust in them, it's very hard for me to keep them in my life. I know it sounds selfish but that's just the way it is. Perhaps I'm not seeing 'outside of myself' enough (I'm trying to work on it) but I hate it when people hurt me who I have been nothing but sincere to. The problem with this is that I sometimes don't see my own faults in the process because my sensitivity and feelings are first priority. The fact that I have been a sincere, and loyal friend gives me the right to not overlook a slight, whi

You contradict yourself so much...

Like everyone has stated, cancers work from feelings first. Not logic. Your cancer guy is being a typical cancer. selfishly putting himself and his feelings first because they are first priority and that is just the way it is.

wOw... let it go already... or take it to the Virgo/Gem board. I can completely see why it didn't work out for you two ladies. NEXT!!!!

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Shellshocker,

As a young virgo woman still coming into herself, yes, I am a bundle of contradictions. I wrote that post to gemtaur to try and explain to her what her cancer may be going through from my perspective (even though I know she has already known this a long time ago) because I tend to be all logic AND FEELINGS. The sensitivity and placing one's own feelings first is something that I believe virgos and cancers tend to have in common.

Yes, a cancer man just like any other man will know what woman is right for them when she finally comes along and that is fine with me. I have known some cancer men who will trade women in like vehicles because the new woman 'seemed' to be a bit more perfect than the last and then they

Continued from above...

they end up getting hurt because all that glitters isn't gold. You sound offended and that was not my intent. There is no need to be rude. Gemtaur and I were merely commiserating. If you don't like what we are talking about, perhaps you don't have to visit the thread...no? And no, it didn't work out for me with the cancer man that I spoke of and I am accepting it. It wasn't meant to be just like some of you stated so good riddens to him and do not insult me for sympathizing with a fellow poster in a thread that I created regardless of what board I posted in. Thank you.

Posted by gemtaur
Vixxen,

She's peeved because we're pointing out her flaws and she's got an Aries moon so she blows up. Trying to reason with people like this is pointless. The rest of the Cancer board has been nothing but gracious and unless they ask me to stop, I don't intend on going anywhere, nor should you.

People who have nothing but negativity to add always find a way of raining on the parade of those who try to remain positive.

Hey Gem,

Oh it's a female? I thought shell was a guy...

Anyway, I'm not here to make anyone feel bad. I really dig cancers. I wouldn't have posted this thread on the cancer man in this board if I didn't. DUH! I think she took offense to the comment about cancer men wanting the perfect woman. I never said that was a problem but just that perfection in and of itself is just an illusion. If anyone knows that, it's a virgo. afterall, 'perfection' is our motto. But I understand what shell means about the woman herself being perfect to the cancer man. I get that. Maybe she didn't understand what I was trying to say maybe because I didn't make myself clear?

I guess what I was trying to say is that people are going to make mistakes but some of us are unwillilng to give others a second chance because we are too sensitive or too afraid of getting hurt by them again even if the person is worth it. Sometimes we let people go because they are worth it and sometimes we let people go because they aren't.

Posted by gemtaur
Totally get you, Vixxen. I'm incredibly sensitive, too (otherwise why the attraction to a Cancer?), but being a Gem I'm wired to consider any one thing from as many perspectives as are possible, so that I can imagine myself in the other's shoes. Gems are very forgiving because of that duality. We get accused of being two-faced but most of the time it's because we go away and are able to see the other's perspective. And that's what I did. I got back in touch with him after I rejected him even though I knew my reasons were legitimate and I was incredibly hurt; I tried to put myself in his shoes and consider things from his perspective and try to move forward.

But he was holding on to the pain like a dog with a bone and just wouldn't let it go. I was nothing but sincere with him and he hurt me as much as I did him, but I got over it because he was worth it to me. But I understand what you're saying about the logic vs. feelings thing. I feel and then use logic to get over bad feelings whereas he can't climb out of the feelings because that's all he's got. I get that.

Virgos do hold on to grudges, too. But you're a mutable sign just like Gem. The very fact that you're aware of this in yourself and are willing to work on it is great. In the end, the person who holds onto a grievance is the one who suffers the most, and you don't want to do that to yourself.

Yes, I like the way that gems can see both sides of the coin. That is something that I highly admire about you guys. Ironically enough, this is where the conflict may come in with gemini-cancer pairings.

It took me some time to learn that holding on to a grudge or the pain hurts no one but myself. It's just not healthy.

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It's interesting how my logic has saved me from so many potentially negative situations but at the same time has caused me to miss so many potentially positive experiences (due to my lack of emotion).

I'm sorry that you had this experience and hope that someday you can heal completely from it and maybe even get some closure.

LMAO!!! I can't believe you guys analyzed me for almost a whole page!!!

I take no offense to any of it... 😉

Posted by gemtaur
LOL - Virgo STOP. I got it.

My mom's a Cancer; they are the most caring, nurturing, and loving of people. And they're anything but rude. She's just a bad apple, or a miserable apple, or who knows? Don't waste your precious brain energy trying to rectify her negative energy via Virgoan logic. She'll end up draining your precious resources, which is precisely what she wants to do. Don't give her that power. She needs your sympathy more than anything else.

Sheesh, I'm just trying to understand cancers. Thanks to all of the posters who have replied, now I know how cancer men generally operate when they are interested in someone. It's not like I came on here calling them bad names or something...Sheesh...did I say that already?

Posted by shellshocker
LMAO!!! I can't believe you guys analyzed me for almost a whole page!!!

I take no offense to any of it... 😉

Ha, ha! Happy to make you chuckle. You cancers can be so grouchy sometimes...sheesh (love that word btw). Yes, we did take a whole page to analyze you because now you are dealing with two of the most analytical signs up in the zodiac...SO YOU BETTA RECOGNIZE FOOL! Mercury is up in da house!

Posted by shellshocker
LMAO!!! I can't believe you guys analyzed me for almost a whole page!!!

I take no offense to any of it... 😉

Also, I don't know if you are aware of what you've gotten yourself into. Put a virgo and a gem in the same space together and we could literally talk for hours (although we won't do that here) giving no one else a chance to get a word in edgewise. We are the signs ruled by the planet of communication and if you ask any virgo what it's like when they have a discussion with a gem or vice versa, they will tell you straight up, it's non-stop. That's how we roll. We are two signs that can talk and talk and talk and talk. If we're not insulting anyone or talking trash about cancers don't worry yourself about it.

Posted by peppymonkee

Posted by VirgoVixxxenAlso, I don't know if you are aware of what you've gotten yourself into. Put a virgo and a gem in the same space together and we could literally talk for hours (although we won't do that here) giving no one else a chance to get a word in edgewise. We are the signs ruled by the planet of communication and if you ask any virgo what it's like when they have a discussion with a gem or vice versa, they will tell you straight up, it's non-stop. That's how we roll. We are two signs that can talk and talk and talk and talk. If we're not insulting anyone or talking trash about cancers don't worry yourself about it.

which is great, but you could just private message each other if need be.

i'm not sure why you were talking about shellshocker for a page if you're needing help about cancer men.

i think virgos and cancers get along great, but will just have to take time and patience. i'm going to agree with other cancers on the board and just try to take it day by day. cancers can be confusing, but if they weren't interested in you... contact will be cut. so contact.. as confusing as it could be, is a good sign.

either way, good luck to you. if you can't find a cancer now, i'm sure you'll find another one. 🙂

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Right but what's the point in PM'ing one another? I started the thread and it should be my perogative to talk to whomever for as long as I wish...no? Reread the posts and you'll see why we analyzed shellshocker for a page. It all had to do with cancers in general. I pretty much got all of the help that I need about the cancer guy that I initially posted about. He's not interested and I said I was moving on. The conversation turned to feelings and sensitivity still related to cancers so what is the problem?

Also, thanks for the good luck wishes.

awww gemtaur... you seem to have it all figured out. Why do you need to hear anything from us Cancers?

The only real negativity I see being thrown about... is yours. I do like your sense of humor though.

Your analysis of me and other Cancers is just that... YOUR analysis.

We'll let you believe what you want and go on our merry way...

Posted by gemtaur
See? If you can restrain yourself from doing what I just did, Vixxen, you'll be fine with a Cancer. If not, it will always end this way. Keep the "critiquing" to a minimum Virgo or it will be a headache not worth pursuing. I wonder whether in your exchanges, there was any critiquing from you? That may have been why he pulled back.

Oh gemtaur, we are so >here

Tonight at 6, cheap female drama bore.

Posted by mr.crabby
Tonight at 6, cheap female drama bore.

On the rag again? ;o)

Posted by cancersunleomoon123
THe push and pull is playing games even if the person doesn't mean to or want to. There definitely could be interest. I tend to push people away because i'm scared of getting hurt. As a cancer,i need reassurances before i make a move but i'm also more old-fashioned and kinda think as a girl,that's the way it should be,lol. Except now i'm seeing a guy with a cancer moon,and as cancers are more feminine of a sign,yeah,i'm seeing that a little bit with him however,as a girl i will not freaking chase,very strong on that,and sure enough he makes the moves. Just be patient. And,he made all the first moves,of course or else nothign would've even happened. But,i see that he's kinda insecure and needs reassurance,i guess. it's quite weird. I find it weird when a guy you still hardly know asks if you are thinking of him and says things like they want to meet your parents but whatever,all people are different and he is very masculine in other ways. 🙂

Yes, the push and pull is quite interesting.

Posted by cancersunleomoon123
THe push and pull is playing games even if the person doesn't mean to or want to. There definitely could be interest. I tend to push people away because i'm scared of getting hurt. As a cancer,i need reassurances before i make a move but i'm also more old-fashioned and kinda think as a girl,that's the way it should be,lol. Except now i'm seeing a guy with a cancer moon,and as cancers are more feminine of a sign,yeah,i'm seeing that a little bit with him however,as a girl i will not freaking chase,very strong on that,and sure enough he makes the moves. Just be patient. And,he made all the first moves,of course or else nothign would've even happened. But,i see that he's kinda insecure and needs reassurance,i guess. it's quite weird. I find it weird when a guy you still hardly know asks if you are thinking of him and says things like they want to meet your parents but whatever,all people are different and he is very masculine in other ways. 🙂

Like you, I'm old fashioned as well and would prefer for the man to do the pursuing.

Posted by cancersunleomoon123

Posted by VirgoVixxxen
Continued from above

It's sad because I feel like it's almost as if he wants me to jump through a ton of hoops (I feel like he's always testing me and playing games) in order to find out the true person that lies beneath and if he is sincerely interested in me or not.

Sounds like a cancer to me! Yeah,we suck. 😢 Lol,to me it sounds like he likes you,but i think it's best for you to look within,and you'll know. 🙂 Cancers are trouble,i think,and i think cancers and virgos have trouble unless they both odn't mind going really slow with each other.

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Cancers and virgos can really confuse eachother.