Cancer man as a friend?

Hi all,

First time joining this board. Found it very interesting and insightful. And, obviously, the reason for being here doesn't need to be spelled entirely, so I will keep it short... confusion 🙂

OK, now I have a pretty tough situation on the go with a Cancer? lol? nothing new so far?

We?ve been knowing each other for 2 years, are long-distance and communicate mostly through work right now.

It began as a promising friendship. I?m an Aquarius and friendship is one of those things that mean the world to me. I found in this man something that I so rarely encountered in life ? a sense of closeness and deep communication as if there were no walls between us to begin with? I could say he just entered in my mind and heart as in a building without doors. Destiny? Maybe? as meeting him brought an energy boost to my life, an optimism, and a creative flux that were so very dormant in me somewhere. Funny? not by something he did, but just through his personality.

Now this is when things started getting confusing, as some mixed emotions got in the way. To keep it simple ? I have been in a stable relationship for 8 years, he is single. All OK so far ? we talked about relationships, he opened up with details from his life, I did the same. But at the same time he was pretty flirty on many occasions. I feared that flirt would keep things light and superficial. And it confused me, as on other occasions our communication was so deep and beautiful. Despite the feeling that he was not entirely open to me, I got to care more and more about him and wanted us to become good friends.

We talked about many things, both trying to know each other better. He expressed his interest in knowing me many times, as well as his appreciation for my friendship. A couple of times he also said that he "likes" me... At times he was very present, caring and warm, and then vanished as if I didn?t existed, making me feel like I was driving this relationship. With all of this inconsistency there was still that "something" that made me feel so close to him. Somehow, after almost a year and a half I found myself completely in love with him, scared by this strong feeling that totally overwhelmed me. I never intended to break up with my current partner ? although we had our struggles, we have a long history and there is a lot of love between us.

So, decided to fix a situation that was tearing me apart, I gently approached the subject with "my Cancer friend". At that time I didn't expect him to throw himself at me, but rather give me a friendly "kick in the butt" and help me put my feelings straight behind the line where they belong. Don?t know what I was thinking ? guess I counted too much on what I would do as a friend in this situation and expected a dialogue at least. Instead, he answered that "if we were both free, things are simpler", advised me to focus on my relationship and fix whatever is not working? and ended by telling me to always follow my heart.

Then, after a couple of weeks, he completely shut me down. It was unexpected and it hurt so bad after being so close to him ? he didn't even try to work things out, or hear what I had to say, or just talk openly about this. I honestly thought he didn't care at all about me and he played being friends all along? The only explanation he gave when I called him was that he didn't want to be perceived as the guy who falls in the middle and he doesn?t want to deal with "it" (i.e. being sympathetic to my problems). He wasn?t able to say if this will be permanent or there is a chance for us being friends. "I honestly don't know" he said...

Fine... I will walk the extra miles I though, forget about pride when it comes about people I care about. So I've been around for him as a caring friend, without being pushy at all. I've tried everything that can be tried to make him open. No second chance for me? he was a perfect stone.

We keep com

hi dear aqua...
it's amazing to see u interested in having a close one to one friendship.
becoz aqua's are famous in being globally friendly.
u won't beleive if i say you..i'am just in your position the only difference being am an cancer and he is an aqua.

one thing i can tell u is cancerians need a lot of security...
they often retrieve into their shell and never come out.

u have to break through their shell,tell them u will always be there for them.

don't worry much.it happens in every aqua-canci relationship.
they have a very good start and then things change very much...
anyways don't lose heart
all the best

Hi Sangicrab,

Thank you for your encouragement. I do hope things will get better.

You are right about Aquarius being generally friendly with every one and sympathetic. But as everyone, Aquarius do need some very special friends for a deeper one-on-one relationship. It is also true that these people are hard to find but when it happens they can change an Aquarius world - add new optimism and energy... make you feel that the world is just a right place to be.

My best friends are Cancers... funny coincidence you may say. And I noticed that relationship trend that you mentioned.

What can I say... I am not running away from what I care for. I'll be around him and only time will tell.

Good luck with your aqua male!