Cancer man cheated
This topic was created in the Cancer forum by Didymoi81 on Monday, September 13, 2010 and has 8 replies.
I recently just caught my cancer man cheating on me, which he denied...of course an arguement boiled over and things he is saying just aren't adding up. Since the arguement a few of the last things he said were he wanted to make sure I didn't hate him, which I replied I don't have the energy to hate on no one, and that he didn't know what he wanted anymore (relationship wise) even though he does still really care about and like me? That was three days ago and I haven't heard from him since and I am not trying to push anything on him but I feel it's still not resolved when he was the one who wanted to resolve things? Now is this him just needing his space to figure out if he wants me or is he done? I am not even saying I would want to continue a relationship with him but I don't like burning bridges like this. I am going about my life as I am sure he is as well, and I know it's only three days but why do I feel as though I am the one being punished when I was the one who was faithful, is it because he was caught? We were dating for 5 months, and I am a gemini, and NO I have never cheated in a relationship nor would I ever, I would never put someone through this...
I'm not really sure about Cancer men, but I have a hard time putting the nails in the coffin on anytype of relationship. whether it be friends or romantic partners. You are likely going to have to make the choice to walk away or work it out. We Cancers hate to break ties, and will avoid if possible. If you do decide to walk away understand that it's for life. He'll probably be your friend, but that's all...
What reason did he give for cheating? Usually we need lots of attention, affection, consideration ect...
What reason did he give for cheating? Usually we need lots of attention, affection, consideration ect...
He still denying he cheated when the people who have told me they seen him....the worst part is I actually know the girl from highschool, she has a really bad reputation and the whole thing just make me sick. I can't think of any reason why he would, he even said he would never intentionally hurt me, and that he does still really like me, but our arguement was extremely heated (emotions were flying). At first he wanted to get together and talk it out, but when arguement got really bad he said he didn't know anymore...
He doesn't want to hurt your feelings. Sounds like he wants to stay friends with you in the very least. Give him awhile to simmer down, and get him alone where you can talk and find some closure to the matter.
so wait, he says he doesn't want you to hate him yet he denies having cheated? he probably doesn't want you to hate him because, like even you said, don't want to burn bridges. he wants things to be on good terms so then he doesn't have to feel as bad.
who are these people that told you he cheated by the way? also, what did they actually see?
from the way he's talking it does sound like he could be guilty. the fact that he's unsure of the relationship/unsure he can stay committed. also, are you sure you want to be friends? you don't have to hate him or anything but i think just for you, you should really create some space for yourself. also, just because he says he wouldn't "intentionally" hurt you doesn't mean he wouldn't hurt you. and i mean, he didn't cheat to hurt you because he probably didn't think you'd find out or at least he'd be out of a relationship with you by then.
honestly, even if he didn't actually cheat you should be with someone who KNOWS that they want to be with you; not someone who's being wishy washy about whether they can/want to be in a committed relationship. you shouldn't worry about being friends, you should be more worried about your own well being. if he drops off the face of the earth so be it.
who are these people that told you he cheated by the way? also, what did they actually see?
from the way he's talking it does sound like he could be guilty. the fact that he's unsure of the relationship/unsure he can stay committed. also, are you sure you want to be friends? you don't have to hate him or anything but i think just for you, you should really create some space for yourself. also, just because he says he wouldn't "intentionally" hurt you doesn't mean he wouldn't hurt you. and i mean, he didn't cheat to hurt you because he probably didn't think you'd find out or at least he'd be out of a relationship with you by then.
honestly, even if he didn't actually cheat you should be with someone who KNOWS that they want to be with you; not someone who's being wishy washy about whether they can/want to be in a committed relationship. you shouldn't worry about being friends, you should be more worried about your own well being. if he drops off the face of the earth so be it.
Cancer men feed off compliments and reassurance. This girl was probably giving him all sorts of attention, and he was weak and acted on it. My advice would be to cut it off. Nothing is ever the same in a relationship once a partner cheats. At only 5 months, this is a huge no no. The first few years is supposed to be the honeymoon stage, where you are crazy about each other, and need to build trust and commitment for the long road ahead. Cheating in the first 5 months should be a huge red flag. Ditch this guy quick. He isn't worth it. He is denying it because he doesn't want to confront it. Cancers hate confrontation, we would rather side-step an issue or pretend it's not there. A real man would own up to what he did and try to fix things, not deny it ever happened. Also, he doesn't know what he wants. Well surely that should tell you something right there.
Tons of reasons to break it off. Do yourself a favour and make the decision for this boy (not a man) since clearly he can't make up his own mind. There's a better man out there waiting for you who won't lie to you and cheat on you. Being single has lots of advantages.
Be strong and good luck.
Tons of reasons to break it off. Do yourself a favour and make the decision for this boy (not a man) since clearly he can't make up his own mind. There's a better man out there waiting for you who won't lie to you and cheat on you. Being single has lots of advantages.
Be strong and good luck.
Thank you everyone for the advice, I have not contacted him at all, but he did send a text last night just asking what was up with me, and what's good...real quick small chat was all. I have no intentions of being the one to initiate any contact between him and I, as much as I would love some sort of closure or understanding at this point there seems to be no point. I really care about him and want nothing but the best for him, but I don't got the time to be waiting around for someone his age to figure out what he wants, I know what I have to offer a guy and know I definately don't deserve what he dished out, so que sera sera I suppose 
Posted by domanb
Cancer men feed off compliments and reassurance. This girl was probably giving him all sorts of attention, and he was weak and acted on it. My advice would be to cut it off. Nothing is ever the same in a relationship once a partner cheats. At only 5 months, this is a huge no no. The first few years is supposed to be the honeymoon stage, where you are crazy about each other, and need to build trust and commitment for the long road ahead. Cheating in the first 5 months should be a huge red flag. Ditch this guy quick. He isn't worth it. He is denying it because he doesn't want to confront it. Cancers hate confrontation, we would rather side-step an issue or pretend it's not there. A real man would own up to what he did and try to fix things, not deny it ever happened. Also, he doesn't know what he wants. Well surely that should tell you something right there.
Tons of reasons to break it off. Do yourself a favour and make the decision for this boy (not a man) since clearly he can't make up his own mind. There's a better man out there waiting for you who won't lie to you and cheat on you. Being single has lots of advantages.
Be strong and good luck.
Wonderful advice.
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