Cancer Man Disappear to End Relationship?

This topic was created in the Cancer forum by tooemotional on Tuesday, January 22, 2013 and has 11 replies.
When a Cancer man wants out of a relationship, how does he typically do it? Does he just stop talking to you? I'm a Pisces woman and my cancer man has been giving me the silent treatment for almost 3 days. He does not respond to anything. I made him angry, but what I said to him was in reaction to hurt he has caused me repeatedly. He has never apologized. instead, he is acting like I am the only one who did anything. I have apologized, even though I did not really do anything. No response. I have asked him three times via text if our relationship is over...no response. He has done this before, and ended up coming back as if nothing had happened, but this time seems different...and worse because I actually said something to hurt him. The other times, I was angry...and he got angry because I was angry and gave me the silent treatment. What do I do? Keep apologizing? Keep texting and calling...or disappear like he has and hope he comes out of his shell? I'm really afraid he won't this time. However, I feel that as adults, if the relationship is over we should at least verbalize it...I have even given him the easy way out by asking if we're done via text...he could just say yes...but he says nothing. At all. Any insight?
I don't have a whole lot of experience with relationships, but when I broke up with my first and only real girlfriend it was pretty short and to the point. Speaking from personal experience, when a Cancer is giving you the silent treatment, they are usually hurt or they need space. I know when I was in a relationship with my ex, I got very annoyed at times because I needed my personal breathing room and I felt suffocated in the way she was always trying to get in contact with me. Could I have told her to back off a little? Yes, but I didn't. That was a long time ago, however, and what's done is done. My advice to you is to just let him be until he's ready to come out on his own. Us Cancers can be a stubborn, tenacious lot. As a disclaimer: don't look too far into astrology. Everybody is unique and different and a vague set of guidelines for each sign does not provide an "excuse" for someone's behavior. With that said, good luck. I hope everything works out between you both.
As far as saying hurtful things to you, keep in mind it is very hard for us cancers to talk about things esp apologize at times. We know we did something bad and hurtful and it's understood by both parties. But it takes a strong person to admit their faults and when Cancers grow up both men and women they can overcome their inner turmoil and say Im sorry I was wrong, or Im sorry I hurt your feelings.
In my experience when Cancer men break up they just vaporize into thin air. Not sure why exactly, but I have dated cancers between the ages of 24 and 27 and they acted the same way. I suggest just give him time and see what is happening. Don't suffocate him let him breathe. If in a week there is no contact from him to you shoot him a line. If nothing at all comes of this consider it terminated.
Best of luck to you.
I would never just stop talking to a person and consider that the end. So Im assuming he's still whining but still loves you. what exactly did you say to hurt him? just make sure he knows you didnt mean what you said and your sorry and whatnot.. whose more dependent on who? so much information is missing to give a more accurate answer.. history repeats itself so if hes done this before and returned then I think its a matter of time before he comes back. good luck
Don't worry, I'm pretty sure your man still loves you. I'm an Aqua and I've been married to a Cancer man for 11 years, and he gives me the silent treatment ALL OF THE TIME!!! He doesn't even do it on purpose, that's just his way of processing things when he's upset. I'd much rather scream my head off, get it out in the open and be done with it and have make-up sex afterwards. LOL! But he likes to retreat in his cave when he's really pissed off. He's also pretty judgmental, and most times I don't even realize that I'm being tried and convicted by him (LOL). In the beginning of our relationship, he was always upset at me for any and everything, and I had to backtrack to find out where I had offended him because he would never come out and tell me straight up. I just couldn't figure it out. But as our relationship progressed, I realized that he is RIDICULOUSLY SENSITIVE and judgmental. I used to apologize to him over and over again and still his mood didn't change.
That's another thing, I've noticed---Cancers can be pretty moody. I used to be such an emotional roller coaster following all of his moods and I hated that I gave him that much control over my emotions. But one day, I just decided to treat him the way that he treated me. When he came home, I didn't acknowledge him (which he used to do to me all the time), I didn't cater to him or even look his way at all. I pretty much ignored him the whole day and I noticed he was worried (but I was secretly laughing inside haha!). That night he came to me and looked sad, he held my hand and asked me what was the matter. With a big smile I said, "Oh NOTHING! I was just treating you the way you treat me. Sucked Didn't it?" He said it did because I don't normally act that way. Then I spelled it out for him, "Didn't you feel like a rejected, worthless piece of crap?" He agreed with everything I said. Then I told him, "Well that's how you make me feel ALL OF THE TIME! You're always judging and ignoring me, and you've done that to me for years. Don't do that to me if you don't like how it feels." And then we made up. Winking Today, if he's ignoring me, I have no clue because I'm immune to it and I no longer follow his moods. I'M FREE!! Another good thing is to do some EFT (you'll find tutorials on Youtube) to free yourself of his energy. You'll be creating a healthy space for yourself, and you'll be able to look at him more objectively, rather than get tangled up in his moods. Good luck!
I see this was posted 4 years ago. I don't know if you're still together with a Cancer man.

I am a Virgo currently dating a Cancer man for 3 1/2 years. Your problems are similar to mine I wonder if it's the same man.

Cancer men are very difficult to love. At first they woe you like you are the best girl they've ever had. Once you give in, they become suspicious and pull away like you did something wrong in the relationship. They don't open up and talk about people they love and care although you have already bared your soul to them. They will assess your personal home life first but takes forever for them to bring you to their circle. They do things that are very selfish that does not include you, once you get angry and frustrated, they get mad at you for feeling that way and then they pull away and disappear for days and weeks. Then you have to apologize to them for getting angry at them in the first place BUT no apologies coming from him. They are stingy, manipulating you so you'll end up spending more than them. They are stubborn and no matter how much you plead, the more they will not budge. They plan for the future that does not onclude you. They lie to be defensive, they change their stories, they are selfish and arrogant. But when they want, they can shower you with affection and their time. They are like Jekyll and Hyde yet they won't hesitate to tell their girlfriends that they are the Jekyll and Hyde.

It may not all Cancer men but it certainly is my Cancer man. Dating this guy for 3 1/2 years and I just met his only child less than a year ago. Denied having a child the first few months of dating. The moment I discovered it and confronted him about it, he still denied to the very end until I showed him his picture on his ex wife's FB account. He started to get suspicious and paranoid because he never mentioned his ex's name.

He claims he doesn't have close friends, I have not been introduced to any of his friends up to this day.

I have not met his family, except for his brother who I've met in a poorly lit driveway that even if I bump into him anywhere, we would not recognize each other. Never want me to meet his sister who wants to meet me, haven't met his parents who he was very close to and talk on the phone everyday, a year ago they died months apart.

He takes off to other countries with his travel buddies at work but not once did he invite me to go to those countries with him. Each time he flies out, I would always get mad and frustrated and j get to be ignored because I got mad. I am left feeling like its my fault, resentful and at the same time guilty for making a stink every time he goes away.

He doesn't text or call unless I do first. If I ask him why he doesn't initiate call or text, he gets mad and it's all my fault for asking that question.

He is stingy, always wanting 50/50 expenses. I never got a gift last Christmas.

Yet, I am still waiting for his text back. It's been 11days now. He got mad over an issue.
And to add, sadly I've come to believe that Cancer man, the more you show love, care and devotion, the more they pull away. If you hold back your affection, they get hurt and pull away the more. It's very frustrating and confusing that you wonder if they really love you or just using you until they meet the right one.

I guess in my experience, Cancer men are not capable of a loving and lasting relationship. They are only good for casual non committal relationship.
@mattsmum 11 days? What issue is he having?

I'm dating mine exclusively for 4 months, he is having depression because of the instability of his career, right now he is doing this huge project which he is under a lot of pressure to do it well as he is hoping this could make his professional life more stable if he can deliver a good job.

He's never been stingy with me even he is financially unstable, he always pay but I would offer to pay on some dates as I don't want to emasculate him. Since he seems to take pride on being able to provide.

he never hide anything from me either, he's always been very upfront and honest.

My point is unless your cancer is having some major crisis like what mine is going through, he really has no reason to ignore you for 11 days... also why you stay with him after finding out he's been lying about having a child? Lying is always a big red flag in my book, it shows their character, what else could he be lying to you?
+1 to Poppyseeds.

I just read Mattsmum saga. Talk about a glutton for punishment.

She's in denial about being an obvious "side-piece."

No offense Mattsmum,

But...

What are you waiting for?

Answers?

Your dilemma is not an astrological problem,

He SHOWED you who he was. No big mystery to unfold here.

It's manipulation, and he's mind f***ing you.

He's winning, even with the proof that was presented to him, he's still winning.

Here you are.

Waiting on a text for 11 days.

You pulled a thread from 4 years ago seeking answers.

Lets see how big your balls are.

You want answers.

Inbox his 'alleged' ex wife, mother, and sister, and see what they all tell you.
@mattsmum

I read your entire post and I hate to burst your bubble but your cancer is just not that into you. In fact any man that exhibits your cancer dude's traits is not into you. You should really see things for what they are instead of hoping for him to change and love you like you want to be loved like a typical delusional woman.

Reality is always greater than one's own delusions.
I would never just disappear unless my abandonment fears have been triggered. But that has nothing to do with being a cancer. That has to do with me being borderline.

It sounds to me like this crab is sulking. Stop trying to contact him. He'll come around, and if not then you can upgrade to a more mature crab.