cancer man not getting emotionally involved

so I have been living with my cancer BF for 6 months.... he was cheated on by previous wife,she took all of his savings, and had baby with someone else, so I can understand that he is fearful of getting hurt. I am a virgo and have bee hurt previously also through men who were takers and not givers. Last weekend I was kind of emotional and was thinking about how much I actually trust this man and I am so in love with him and I was crying because this scares me because I too am fearful of getting hurt again. Anyway, long story short, I eventually explained to him after he got upset that I didn't want to discuss it and he basically told me that he cared for me but was not ready to get emotionally attached. WHAT— I am confused... he takes very good care of me, and is always concerned for my safety, helps me with everything , sex is great...and made the comment that he was upset because me not talking to him reminded him of the situation with the ex. HELP... not sure how to take this...

Bikerchic.. not sure if it's that or not... it's more like he is emotionally attached but does not want to admit it. He is always concerned about my feelings and easily picks up on it when I'm down. I know there is no fb cuz he's with me all the time. I really appreciate your insight

I dont know why anything was even posted. You answered your own question in your paragraph. Look at the facts, HES NOT EMOTIONALLY AVAILABLE. So what are you doing? I think maybe you just like being an emotional masochist. Because when a man says "Im not ready" you should probably listen. So you are doing this to yourself. Leave him. Find someone else that is available otherwise you will be here in the same place doing the same thing years from now.

Posted by BikerCh1ck

Posted by michelle2ltl
Bikerchic.. not sure if it's that or not... it's more like he is emotionally attached but does not want to admit it. He is always concerned about my feelings and easily picks up on it when I'm down. I know there is no fb cuz he's with me all the time. I really appreciate your insight

You are in denial.

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I agree.

Maybe —? ... thank you both for your tact

Your feelings do count to him..i'm pretty sure he goes out of his way to make you happy and I bet he is reliable.. he doesn't want to get emotionally attached because he is stilled scarred. reassure of your feelings show him that you care..open up to him in order for him to truly open up to you..I'm a Cancer man in a similar situation with a Virgo woman.

Posted by Fresco
Your feelings do count to him..i'm pretty sure he goes out of his way to make you happy and I bet he is reliable.. he doesn't want to get emotionally attached because he is stilled scarred. reassure of your feelings show him that you care..open up to him in order for him to truly open up to you..I'm a Cancer man in a similar situation with a Virgo woman.

Thanks Fresco, that's kinda the impression I was getting. He is always there to make sure I have what I need and to make sure I am happy, which I'm not used to-Virgos DO NOT like to rely on someone else but I like the fact that he "takes care of me".

Posted by michelle2ltl
Anyway, long story short, I eventually explained to him after he got upset that I didn't want to discuss it and he basically told me that he cared for me but was not ready to get emotionally attached.

Posted by michelle2ltl
he was upset because me not talking to him reminded him of the situation with the ex.

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I think the problem is not being open with him is making him feel emotionally insecure. He needs to dive into your emotions in order to feel what you are feeling. Creates an emotional connection between the both of you. This is how he gets emotionally attached. Then comes the great sex afterwards. A big feel of it. hehe.

Posted by IridescenceMorpha

Posted by michelle2ltl
Anyway, long story short, I eventually explained to him after he got upset that I didn't want to discuss it and he basically told me that he cared for me but was not ready to get emotionally attached.

Posted by michelle2ltl
he was upset because me not talking to him reminded him of the situation with the ex.

I think the problem is not being open with him is making him feel emotionally insecure. He needs to dive into your emotions in order to feel what you are feeling. Creates an emotional connection between the both of you. This is how he gets emotionally attached. Then comes the great sex afterwards. A big feel of it. hehe.

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Oh.. most definitely and I may not have conveyed that like I meant to... he was upset at the fact that I was hiding the reason I was crying and I think it emotionally through him back to his previous relationship

I do appreciate everyone's insight... I will have to admit that cancer and virgos are two COMPLETELY different animals!! But most of the time I think there personalities compliment each other well.