Cancer man shut down on me

Ok so I met this Cancer guy and we hung out in a public place a few times. He asked me to go to him place and he cooks for me. Despite my reservations, I agreed because Cancers like cooking. So I met him at his place and we had fun, chatted, and he kept kissing me. The attraction was so strong but I insisted I didn't want to have sex. He continued to give me oral sex and finger me (which I must say was the BEST foreplay I have EVER had). But I stood my ground and said we should meet another time and take things slow.

I apologised the next day, I case he felt rejected and said let's start again. He said "cool". Then messaged me "hi" two days later. A few days after I initiated the conversation and said hi. He had agreed to assist me with a project but said he "wouldn't have time now". I said fine. After a few days of wondering what I did wrong, I sent him a long message and said I felt guilty because I like him and didn't reject him because I didn't want him. I am just not a sex on the first date kind of girl, but I still want to get to know each other and give him the pleasure he gave me, when we are both ready. And that if he doesn't want things to go any further, he should just tell me and I move on, with no bad feeling between us". After pouring my heart out (which is hard to do as an Aquarius woman), he just replied a day later, saying "all cool". What kind of response it that? Why can't Cancer's communicate their feelings? Now I have deleted all our communication and his number. But I am worried i will bump into him, as we move in the same circles, and he will blank me. I cant deal with anymore rejection. I just want to hid at home

Ok I hope u r not regretting anything u said or done. Anyway BE SURE that u won't regret leaving this cancer guy behind, simply because u did nothing wrong to him. And I hate to say this, but even if u have had sex with him, he would still act the same way and u would always get those mixed signals because he's not willing to give any effort into this relationship for any reason. I just left my cancer guy and I am nit regretting it bec. I know eventhough he said he loves me, deep down I knew he's not that into me and I was SO in love with him and staying with him would only hurt me even more. Now I am with another guy and he is so into me and treating me like a queen, the way any decent girl deserves! so I am proud if u knowing what u cant stand.

cheers!

sorry for typos ... on cellphone

Posted by aquavita
this post also proves one more time what gentlemen cancer men really are in general.

a gentleman doesn't start "fingering and giving oral" to any woman who enters his house. period. a jerk does. period.

did she got carried away? yes. is he a saint? no.

to the OP: leave him alone...and if he comes back...don't take him. it's obvious you need somebody who doesn't jump on you at a first date.

Posted by aquavita
if i was a guy i would not be able to treat "like a queen" a woman who let me "FINgER" her9 as she puts it in her own words! and give her "oral SEX" . and then gave me no adult passion , but rather explained she was not "that type of girl" ( she should have just left without explaining what girl she is for starters if so she desired to stop ... plus she sounds like a pro who s been around the block here... pls no offense...! 🙂) this is just ridiculous, thus Barbarella is rightfully embarrassed by her own parody show and erased his number wondering what to do next to clear her confusion. i d say: be a woman, or stay a girl.

and women do not respect guys who go that far at a first date no matter where they are. girls do.

i must admit...you are right about both of them going too far and that she shouldn't have explained herself and so on...but let's be serious...if i agree to come to your place to COOK, we can kiss and this is just fine...but jumping on me like that—?....you've lost all my respect...so it's a lose-lose situation...

a woman having sex at a first date...is a red flag. a man putting a woman in the situation to say "let's stop" is also a red flag...

it's clear he was not looking for a serious, committed thing so...let's stop defending him. plus she deleted his number which is the right thing to do.

Posted by Arielle83

Posted by aquavita
And yes: it takes a gentleman to not comepletly overpower a woman who d go to his house (on a first date mind u) and let him FINGER Her and give her ORaL sex and then STOP at her deamnd. it s not me, ariette, something wrong with your perspective.

I agree with this too

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what a lame definition for a gentleman...no wonder relationships have become a bullshit...

Posted by Arielle83


Date rape is a common phenomenon.

not where i live, fortunately... 🙂

anyway...now i do agree with you

Posted by Blackbarbarella
After a few days of wondering what I did wrong, I sent him a long message and said I felt guilty because I like him and didn't reject him because I didn't want him. I am just not a sex on the first date kind of girl, but I still want to get to know each other and give him the pleasure he gave me, when we are both ready. And that if he doesn't want things to go any further, he should just tell me and I move on, with no bad feeling between us".

As a cancer I think this apology is fair. If you like him and make things slow, he should be respectful.
He might feel rejected but I'm sure he'll be ok.
If he ignores you, act as if everything ok or ignore him as he do..If he's interested, he'll call

Posted by Arielle83

Posted by mz

Posted by Arielle83


Date rape is a common phenomenon.

not where i live, fortunately... 🙂

anyway...now i do agree with you

I have a feeling a lot of situations don't come to light, mainly because the female felt at fault or guilty for putting herself in that situation. Maybe they feel responsible for 'leading him on', but then saying NO! But, no means no.

click to expand

i agree again. the truth is that it's better to avoid the situations in which a woman should say "no" than to give an explanation later.

anyway...for me things are clear...i'll never respect a man who tries to cross that line at a first[even second...third] date as, in my mind, it shows how much he is willing to [dis]respect me. if i am able to keep my skirt on, he should also be able to keep his pants on. and it has nothing to do with lack of chemistry.

Uhhhhh seriously.whats this forum,.....where did this rape come from.....ugghhh!!! Thank god for CHEERIOS!!! Pass me my almond milk please thanks!!!

I still dont get this post... the main point is she wants him back.. She wants dat good cancer lovin.he he he. If you got oral sex dat mean you enjoyed it and wanted it. Simple. I agree on aqua on this one.

Posted by aquavita

Posted by arietteheart2
Arielle I am sympathetic to what you have been through but as a victim of a sexual assault I would think you would understand that nothing you did caused your rape. I'm sorry that a man felt he was entitled to your body.

Arielle never said she was a "victim", sorry to reply here And Barbarella had "the best foreplay in her life".( her own words, apparently girl been around the block🙂) Ariette s what s YOUR point? p.s. as far as "rape" i only used it as some women lack basic common sense and then accuse men of rape. not that it s always a rape. if u ask me a naked woman, with her cunt in a mans mouth, while in his house, has NO right s to her own body. at that point she s at the mercy of the man. common sense.

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i simply can't believe a woman has just written this....i hope you're kidding, right——

Cancers in general are very sensitive and take things personally (although you probably wouldn't know it unless you were close to them). His ego is probably a little bruised yes - he is probably over thinking/analysing the situation and may disappear for a bit until he clears his mind. If he likes you and is interested in you in general, he will defiantly get over it and come back. If he's not interested and just wanted sex, then he may make small talk every now n again but won't try to see you/get to know you.

Posted by Blackbarbarella
Ok so I met this Cancer guy and we hung out in a public place a few times. He asked me to go to him place and he cooks for me. Despite my reservations, I agreed because Cancers like cooking. So I met him at his place and we had fun, chatted, and he kept kissing me. The attraction was so strong but I insisted I didn't want to have sex. He continued to give me oral sex and finger me (which I must say was the BEST foreplay I have EVER had). But I stood my ground and said we should meet another time and take things slow.

I apologised the next day, I case he felt rejected and said let's start again. He said "cool". Then messaged me "hi" two days later. A few days after I initiated the conversation and said hi. He had agreed to assist me with a project but said he "wouldn't have time now". I said fine. After a few days of wondering what I did wrong, I sent him a long message and said I felt guilty because I like him and didn't reject him because I didn't want him. I am just not a sex on the first date kind of girl, but I still want to get to know each other and give him the pleasure he gave me, when we are both ready. And that if he doesn't want things to go any further, he should just tell me and I move on, with no bad feeling between us". After pouring my heart out (which is hard to do as an Aquarius woman), he just replied a day later, saying "all cool". What kind of response it that? Why can't Cancer's communicate their feelings? Now I have deleted all our communication and his number. But I am worried i will bump into him, as we move in the same circles, and he will blank me. I cant deal with anymore rejection. I just want to hid at home

Don't worry about it. He'll pretend like nothing happened and if you don't bring shit up everything will be fine.

Posted by aquavita
Lol wynter the wise sag for the night. Arent cancers gentlemen tell me now? 🙂

Is your Moon in Pisces? It is, isn't it.

You let him see your snatch on the first date. Bad bad move.

You let him see your snatch on the first date. Bad bad move.

Posted by aquavita

Posted by Wynter

Posted by aquavita
Lol wynter the wise sag for the night. Arent cancers gentlemen tell me now? 🙂

Is your Moon in Pisces? It is, isn't it.

no.... why?

click to expand

No? Virgo Moon then.

Posted by aquavita

Posted by Wynter

Posted by aquavita

Posted by Wynter

Posted by aquavita
Lol wynter the wise sag for the night. Arent cancers gentlemen tell me now? 🙂

Is your Moon in Pisces? It is, isn't it.

no.... why?

No? Virgo Moon then.

well this was not supposed to be about "me" but the answer is again "no" not virgo. why? this topic is about the wrong conception that a man has "shut down" and "can not talk about feelings" just because he s presumed to be a"cancer". this topic Iis about a pro who thinks is a prude . guys dont like teasing. cancer or not. but with cancer u stand a chance as a silly woman. u may get sex attention and most likely will not get raped not matter how idiotic u act. cancer men are genuine gentlemen in the most macho sense however they re rougbh at the edges yet see deep. to me there is no better than what this man actions in this case. many other men would have just jumped back in to get a chance to fuck. they may even not have stopped to begin with so lady "stands her ground".

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Oh,no reason...just curious. 'Sides, I'm sure Blackbarbarella won't mind if we chit chat in her thread a bit. Keeps it at the top yanno, great opportunity for more answers. Right Blackbarbarella?