Cancer Man, Trust, Disappearing, Help!

So I am brand-new here, finally signed up for this site after poring over the boards trying to figure out the object of my affection. Please be kind-- my situation is complicated and I'm doing the best I can with it.

The man in question is a Leo sun and Leo Mercury, with Moon, Venus, Mars and Jupiter in Cancer. He acts so little like what I understand Leos to be and he has so much Cancer in his chart, I have begun thinking of him as more Cancer than not. Please correct this assumption if I am wrong.

I am a Virgo sun, Libra Moon and Venus, Taurus Mars and Virgo Mercury.

He is in his 40's and I am in my 30's. He is an ex who has always had immense draw for me. I haven't seen him for 15 years until we came back in contact over the summer. (I contacted him in a friendly way. I am married now with a young child, and while my husband and I have been unhappy and going through counceling for a long time, my intention in contacting him wasn't consciously romantic.)

Since we began speaking again we have basically begun having an affair. My husband and I have been negotiating the terms of our separation for a while now, but the separation won't physically begin happening until the end of this week.

This man has a tendency to run really hot and cold. He is incredibly sweet and snuggly and lovely in person. In text he is really cocky and sexually flirtatious in a way that is totally opposite his blushing spazzy talk when we are in person.

On the other hand, he can go several days without contacting me, being very terse and to the point if I contact him. When I have asked about this he simply says he has been really busy, and that since I am married he isn't giving me as much thought as he might, and isn't pursuing me 100% .

He had a longterm relationship break up early this year that left him very broken-hearted. While on one of many breaks with this woman he had a shorter relationship last year with a woman who it turned out was lying to him and was actually married with a child in her home country. He says he cried when he found out ("She had met my friends and everything!").

He is currently in a lot of transition with his work, not financially stable and working very hard to get a business off the ground.

For these two reasons, he told me a couple of months ago that he has "no self esteem, no money, and nothing to offer anyone" so he is not in the market for a relationship at this time.

Lately he has been asking me about my marriage.

I am too wordy so I was cut off)

Lately he has been asking about my marriage. He has put me on the phone to talk to his friend as we were hanging around his house, and when I went into a friend's shop to say hi while he was running an errand, he decided to folow me in and introduce himself to my (male friend). Afterward, he asked if it was awkward and if he shouldn't have. It seemed notable to me that he did this rather than meet me at the car as we'd planned.

When we are together there is a strong sexual element but we have not gone all the way intimate yet. Last time we saw eachother there was a bit of drama about that. He was angry and said we shouldn't mess around anymore because I'm obviously conflicted.

So this is the very long background- my question is, given all I've shared here, does it seem like there may be a chance we will become something more than casual lovers?

Any tips on how to deal with this man are also appreciated.

Thank you so much for reading this far and for any advice you can give.

I'm bumping my own message because I'm impatient and going crazy over with my guy's Radio Silence over here. Help please and thank you?

Noosie, thanks and good luck to you. 2+ weeks? What a drag!

Winaeux, I don't mean to be an idiot but I can't figure out (despite the 'private message link' to the left of my screen) how to effectively pm you.

I'm going a bit mad and very keen to hear your sage advice. Please let me know if more details re: my situation would help. Please message me and I will respond if I can figure it out. Duh!

Thanks, Treefrogger. That's a good idea. Wineaux, my apologies for the sloppy mis-spell.

Update and more info, since I clearly have too much time on my hands:

The drama we had surrounding sex and him perceiving me as being "conflicted" was this: We started kissing, clothes were coming off and I said, "no no no-- I don't want to do this not knowing if you won't call me for a month". He very quickly got dressed and was on the opposite end of the sofa, and he began sort of mocking my questioning face which I now think is because he was feeling manipulated by me. He said, "I don't think we should do this anymore. You're too conflicted and I think there will always be some reason you tell me no."

It became somewhat dramatic-- no yelling or anything, but the fun and ease of the afternoon was shot. I told him that I didn't realize sex was even on the table since he had stopped making much effort to contact me. He reiterated that he is very busy, got a bit defensive, and said that he wasn't about to contact me on the family vacation I had taken a few weeks prior. He then asked a few questions about that-- did my husband and I reconcile? Why did I go if we weren't getting along? Why don't my husband and I have sex anymore? etc. I didn't go into detail but I tried to convey that that things are not good at home and that separation is imminent.

I also asked him if he wanted me to leave. He nicely explained that he wanted space to go into work. I cried a bit (I was sick and just started my period-- not me at my best) and then we walked out of the house. He was going to drive me home and I decided to get there on my own. Just after that we had a short, awkward transportation-related phone call that ended with somebody disconnecting somebody-- I don't know how it happened.

I texted then that "I didn't hang up on you, had fun today, take care." No response. Later that night I texted again since we've had some issues in the past with him not recieving texts (is AT &T really that bad?). I wrote that I was paranoid because my messages sometimes don't reach him. "Had a great time today and apologies for the drama-- sometimes I get a bit nervous around you and don't choose my words 100% well."

This was Friday. No response until Tuesday: "Sorry I didn't respond. I got in an accident. Totalled my van."

I replied sympathetically and said I was in the middle of things and would call him in a few hours, okay? He said, Sure, thanks. I called, it went to vm. I

I replied sympathetically and said I was in the middle of things and would call him in a few hours, okay? He said, Sure, thanks. I called, it went to vm. I left a message. Didn't hear anything so texted the next day: "Know you're busy. Hope you're not injured. Here if you need anything."

An hour later he replied, "I am fine, thanks! I'll talk to you soon."

So, oracles of dxpnet-- am I being kicked to the curb? What is going on here?

If testing or protection are going on I would like to share with him that I am indeed becoming separated as of tomorrow. I also understand that the ball is in his court and I probably shouldn't contact him at all if I want him to like me, correct? I have plenty of my own business to take care of right now. I appeciate any insight you guys can offer.