Cancer Man Weird Behavior??

So about a few months ago, I met a Cancer guy in the mall. It was such an awkward and quick exchange. A month later we went on a date and he got lost and was thus an hour late for the date. After the date, which went well, he went in to kiss me with tongue and everything. I was a bit taken aback because I go slow and definitely don't kiss on the first date. He then proceeded to ask me if I wanted to come back to his place. I was just like no and kinda felt a bit turned off.

He called me later that night and asked if I had a good time and I was very direct in telling him that I don't move that fast. Long story short he was offended and tried to explain that he just really liked me and was very attracted to me. So fast forward, we begin to fade because he was coming off as a player and as a Cancer woman, I am very guarded.

Recently, I felt like maybe I hadn't given him a fair shot and contacted him, actually apologized and explained to him why I am a bit guarded and we met at his home when I got off work. Well he was pushing up on me and we were laughing and having a good time but then his best friend called stranded and he had to take his AAA card to meet him. So he asked what I was doing the next day and we planned to see one another.

So the next day comes and he starts saying he has all this stuff to do throughout the day. He called me a few times to keep me posted and then when I proceeded to get an actual time for us meeting, he said he didn't want to make any concrete plans because he may make a few more "stops" (whatever that means) and he also said he would call when he got home. Needless to say, he didn't call back.

I am a Cancer woman so of course you all know my thoughts were running the gamut of forget hims, I'm hurt, and a whole slew of other things... :-/

What the phuck is up with this type of behavior?

He told you just what he meant. He didn't want to commit to seeing you because he might have something else to do. It is human nature not behavorial problems.

Maybe someone else could add to it or I read your msg wrong. You stated you are a Cancer woman and you don't move fast. At least I thought I read it. He is informing you during the day he might be busy and couldn't promise you plans. He doesn't call you back but you are stating you are hurt etc.

You stated you don't move fast but as soon as you can't control his every move he is having behavorial problems. You may try asking yourself what do you "really" want? If I read correctly, you want more from him but using the I am guarded, I don't move fast game on him and to me he is playing your game with you.

Hmm. I can appreciate your perspective. However, asking someone about their plans and their availability for the next day and makin it clear that you want to see me, would imply that you wanted to make plans. Is this a wrong assumption? Then to actually say to me the next day you don't want to make anything concrete would be a little iffy. And me saying I want to take things slow has nothing to do with my ability to set a concrete time to meet someone. I don't play games either.

if you think he's genuine, there's nothing to stop you from checking in with him. maybe he thinks you're offended or annoyed, and he doesn't quite know where to go from there.

on the other hand, it sounds like you both like the back and forth thing so there's no point in whining when he's not dancing to your current tune. are you boyfriend and girlfriend? ok then. drop the expectations. he's not on a lead, he doesn't have to let you know his every move. lighten up.

and from yet another angle...you already said you got player vibes from him. 'a bit turned off' & 'coming off like a player' aren't good first impressions. maybe you did judge him too harshly, but that may have been for good reason. so what changed your mind? boredom, lack of attention at the time? if you're guarded, any man who's truly interested will take his time with you. it won't even be an issue cos you won't feel the need to be as guarded. you're resisting something about this guy.

trust your own judgement

Posted by nimbue
if you think he's genuine, there's nothing to stop you from checking in with him. maybe he thinks you're offended or annoyed, and he doesn't quite know where to go from there.

on the other hand, it sounds like you both like the back and forth thing so there's no point in whining when he's not dancing to your current tune. are you boyfriend and girlfriend? ok then. drop the expectations. he's not on a lead, he doesn't have to let you know his every move. lighten up.

and from yet another angle...you already said you got player vibes from him. 'a bit turned off' & 'coming off like a player' aren't good first impressions. maybe you did judge him too harshly, but that may have been for good reason. so what changed your mind? boredom, lack of attention at the time? if you're guarded, any man who's truly interested will take his time with you. it won't even be an issue cos you won't feel the need to be as guarded. you're resisting something about this guy.

trust your own judgement

Nimbue is on fire LOL! Great advice Nimbue

IMHO This guy appeared to want sex from the jump and that's why you got the "player" vibe and you more than likely was right about him, then you go back to him (insert your own reasons) and expect better but he's pretty much lining up to what you originally thought about him, he's behaving like a "player" they (players) typically don't want to lock down plans with you in case someone better or something better comes up, by him not calling is a sign that he found something better to do with someone else, they'll behave this way especially if the odds are higher he'll get sex b/c they are sexually motivated.

Trust your judgement and move on until he demonstrate he's genuine.

I love you all on here. Awesome advice and perspectives. I will definitely trust my judgement. Thank you all so much.

Dang nimbue,

You upped your game since I left haven't you? Lol! Tiki I thought the exact same way you did.

I don't know poster listen to these ladies.

I definitely will. He has been deleted. Lol

Good you deserve more than a "player" in your life.

Totally agree. I appreciate the tough love from all of you. lol

@tiki & krobe03 lmao you guys! it's great advice like yours that's helped me since i joined dxp, so i have to pass it on!

@ms tiff you're so welcome 🙂

@Caesar,

Hi! You are hilarious. Thats like my boob and my shoulder. My friend took that pic of me and he was standing over me pointing downwards. 🙂 I have kinda huge ones... lol

In regards to the guy, I just let it go. I haven't heard from him since. 🙂