sweetlibra34
@sweetlibra34
12 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 27 · Topics: 3
Cancer Men and Insecurity?
@Sweetlibra34 -
I am dealing with the same situation with the cancer man I have been seeing for the past 3 months.
I was honest with my feelings and he started to pull back too. Since I have he has shown a little more interest. He keeps telling me to relax and that his head is elsewhere. The he tells me he is thinking about setting down and smiles at me. CONFUSING. Feels like I am playing red light, green light when I was a kid.
I just want to wait around on someone that doesn't know what he wants. He is 42 and that is just too old to be sooooo confused.
I started a topic for help myself. I think the Cancer guy is nice enough but it just seems like he is making too hard.
I am dealing with the same situation with the cancer man I have been seeing for the past 3 months.
I was honest with my feelings and he started to pull back too. Since I have he has shown a little more interest. He keeps telling me to relax and that his head is elsewhere. The he tells me he is thinking about setting down and smiles at me. CONFUSING. Feels like I am playing red light, green light when I was a kid.
I just want to wait around on someone that doesn't know what he wants. He is 42 and that is just too old to be sooooo confused.
I started a topic for help myself. I think the Cancer guy is nice enough but it just seems like he is making too hard.
Don't act so hasty to tell him or them about how feel about them.
Posted by Latingal415
Give him time to think about his feelings but keep checking on him. Cancers can be indecisive sometimes. We prefer you to be direct but some can get scared off and hide inside their shells until they figure out what they want. Cancers are very confusing ppl. I sometimes don't even understand myself_—
That's what I do with them--give them their space, but check on them every now and again. I have heard that sometimes the biggest battle Cancers deal with is trying to understand themselves. Thanks 🙂
Posted by woodenmeow
@Sweetlibra34 -
I am dealing with the same situation with the cancer man I have been seeing for the past 3 months.
I was honest with my feelings and he started to pull back too. Since I have he has shown a little more interest. He keeps telling me to relax and that his head is elsewhere. The he tells me he is thinking about setting down and smiles at me. CONFUSING. Feels like I am playing red light, green light when I was a kid.
I just want to wait around on someone that doesn't know what he wants. He is 42 and that is just too old to be sooooo confused.
I started a topic for help myself. I think the Cancer guy is nice enough but it just seems like he is making too hard.
@woodenmeow--Wow! I'm beginning to wonder if we're not dating the same person, lol. My Cancer is also 42 years old and is playing the same exact game. I keep hearing myself say, "he's 42, he's too old to not know what he wants at this point!" I also think my Cancer is a super nice guy but he seems to be so unsure about everything. Every time I pull back, he comes around and asks if I still like him. It is so confusing. He's lucky he's cute, charming and a genuinely good guy or I would be done.
Posted by Karka
Don't act so hasty to tell him or them about how feel about them.
I don't tell them right away how I feel about them, me telling them usually comes after a comment that they have made questioning if I like them or not and even then I keep it simple like, "I like you and my time with you."
I'm really confused by all this. In another thread Cancers are saying they constantly need reassurance. And here you guys are saying don't tell them you like them directly. WTF. So be reassuring but don't be too hasty in telling them how you feel? Makes no sense.
Geminibunny -
I was very honest with my Cancer guy n telling him I would like to spend more time and see what happens and if it turns into a relationship I am good with it. And all he keeps telling me is to relax, and that if I want him to be my boyfriend he can't give that to me right now. Not sure if it's a stalling method or if he is being genuine.
I have taken a step back. To protect myself at this point. I am too old to be chasing men.
I was very honest with my Cancer guy n telling him I would like to spend more time and see what happens and if it turns into a relationship I am good with it. And all he keeps telling me is to relax, and that if I want him to be my boyfriend he can't give that to me right now. Not sure if it's a stalling method or if he is being genuine.
I have taken a step back. To protect myself at this point. I am too old to be chasing men.
Every time I was ready to fall deeply madly in love with my Cancer guy he would pull some major passive aggressive stuff ie not speaking to me...or just being completely non-responsive...and then the cycle begins all over again with a bunch of apologies and promises to do better. He would ask me if I was the one who's over him...when he was pulling the silent treatment on me in the first place...
I really liked him...a lot...I did. In fact I still wish things were different. But it's just too painful at times.
Age doesn't make a difference....they can pull these stunts well into their 50s. I have a Cancer male friend in his 60s and still playing these games.
I think if you want this bad enough woodenmeow, then you just gotta go at it kamikaze style . Go for broke. All in. Don't be afraid of getting hurt or what not. It's a take it or leave it attitude. All the conventional dating rules go out the window with these guys.
if he is saying he doesn't want to be your "boyfriend" then be like ok whatever...and continue doing what you're doing. You have limits so stick to your guns if you're gonna say this is where you draw the line....wherever that line may be is your call.
I really liked him...a lot...I did. In fact I still wish things were different. But it's just too painful at times.
Age doesn't make a difference....they can pull these stunts well into their 50s. I have a Cancer male friend in his 60s and still playing these games.
I think if you want this bad enough woodenmeow, then you just gotta go at it kamikaze style . Go for broke. All in. Don't be afraid of getting hurt or what not. It's a take it or leave it attitude. All the conventional dating rules go out the window with these guys.
if he is saying he doesn't want to be your "boyfriend" then be like ok whatever...and continue doing what you're doing. You have limits so stick to your guns if you're gonna say this is where you draw the line....wherever that line may be is your call.
As you describe him as a "new man" this seems pretty normal to me. I can't speak for the fellas but this Cancer lady is slow to get into a relationship & slow to get out of one. In the beginning, I'll drive you nuts with the mixed messages because I'm afraid of getting hurt and don't know, at that point, if it's really what I want. Basically, it takes time and a lot of patience to be with a Cancer. Then again, real love slowly develops over time. Be patient and try to go with the flow and not psych things out this early. Once we get passed the rollercoaster of the first few months, it gets a lot better, assuming you really click. Good luck!
I agree with you sweetlibra!! cancer men are wonderful!
Found some old posts that might help you! I trust them because some of the best advice I ever got were from virgo women so I trust her advice.
https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/cancer/i-have-the-secret-3846590/
https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/cancer/this-how-u-date-a-cancer-man-3674902/
It is confusing though because you do get many contradictory advice some saying to ignore and some saying to not ignore. IMO though most of the relationships that crash and burn though is because the girl gives too much. Good luck and I hope your relationship works out!
Found some old posts that might help you! I trust them because some of the best advice I ever got were from virgo women so I trust her advice.
https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/cancer/i-have-the-secret-3846590/
https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/cancer/this-how-u-date-a-cancer-man-3674902/
It is confusing though because you do get many contradictory advice some saying to ignore and some saying to not ignore. IMO though most of the relationships that crash and burn though is because the girl gives too much. Good luck and I hope your relationship works out!
Posted by xtina
I agree with you sweetlibra!! cancer men are wonderful!
Found some old posts that might help you! I trust them because some of the best advice I ever got were from virgo women so I trust her advice.
https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/cancer/i-have-the-secret-3846590/
https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/cancer/this-how-u-date-a-cancer-man-3674902/
It is confusing though because you do get many contradictory advice some saying to ignore and some saying to not ignore. IMO though most of the relationships that crash and burn though is because the girl gives too much. Good luck and I hope your relationship works out!
Those links are pretty good advice.
Don't detect any attempts to manipulate in them, which would really queer it for someone using the advice selfishly.
Posted by xMoonManPosted by xtina
I agree with you sweetlibra!! cancer men are wonderful!
On behalf of all Cancer men, Thank you.
You are now entitled to a complimentary glass of wine and a massage.click to expand
Why thank you 🙂. I accept the wine and I'll make a toast to all cancers: "May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness. I hope you read some fine books and kiss someone who thinks you're wonderful and don't forget to make some art (write or draw or build or sing or live as only you can) and somewhere in the next year I hope you surprise yourself"
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