Cancer Men/Ex Friendship

This topic was created in the Cancer forum by misslibrascorpio on Tuesday, July 11, 2023 and has 38 replies.
Wow it’s been a while since I’ve logged into this and wrote. Well fast forward a couple of years.


My cancer ex asked if I wanted to be friends. I loved this man so deeply, like he had a tie to my soul. I think I’ve reached a point where I rather be friends than nothing and I rather be friends than enemies.


I am a little taken back he agreed to have a friendship and he said he’s open to hear me vent about everything including our past.


Can cancer men really hold a friendship with an ex girlfriend? Does this potentially lead to a rekindled relationship?


How do I handle this?
Any man can be a friend if you keep them in the friend zone.

Why would you need to vent to a has been after some years? That could possibly bring back old feelings for you.


Move on and keep him in the friend zone. If it didn't work before- it's not gonna work again, if he's trying to creep back in.


User Submitted Image
Cancers can’t be friends


I tried to be friends with one after bang


She wanted to do date-y things like go to light shows


I’m like that’s not what friends do right
That Cancer man is trying to come back in and lay his head on your pillows!

Posted by saggurl88
That Cancer man is trying to come back in and lay his head on your pillows!

They love the pillows
Posted by Basic
Posted by saggurl88
That Cancer man is trying to come back in and lay his head on your pillows!




They love the pillows
click to expand
A little motor boating action too!


User Submitted Image
Posted by saggurl88
Posted by Basic
Posted by saggurl88
That Cancer man is trying to come back in and lay his head on your pillows!


They love the pillows
click to expand

A little motor boating action too!


click to expand
A titfuck as well
Well I can see why he would want to be friends due to familiarity. He went ghost on me for a while so this was just a little shocking coming from him.


I know some people get nostalgic.


I mean we loved and we fought, toxic but I have had the highest compatibility with this man.


Time apart has made us better people for ourselves, he sounds different.


In his words “I have nothing against you, I wish you well whether we talk or don’t.” He also said “there has to be boundaries, it’s not like before when we would run back to each other. You can vent to me about anything but I don’t want you to be upset when I don’t respond the way I have in the past.”


Which I’m okay with, I resented this man for a long time but with my own inner peace I never want to feel that dark cloud again.


P.S. probably does want to lay on my pillows lol jk he’s legit working/living across the country now so I doubt it that would occur.
Posted by Basic
Cancers can’t be friends

I tried to be friends with one after bang

She wanted to do date-y things like go to light shows

I’m like that’s not what friends do right
Light shows? I mean a friendship means a little different to everyone. I always feel there’s a gray area.
Posted by Eggroll
In my experience they only hold on to friendships because it’s familiar. If he gets into a serious relationship the friendship would be over.
This is what I’m afraid of. I told him I will respect his boundaries but this friendship has to be mutual. I can’t be friends if it’s one sided.


I don’t think it’s right for me to ask if he’s dating but yeah eventually I think I want to.


I don’t know
Posted by misslibrascorpio
Posted by Basic
Cancers can’t be friends

I tried to be friends with one after bang

She wanted to do date-y things like go to light shows

I’m like that’s not what friends do right



Light shows? I mean a friendship means a little different to everyone. I always feel there’s a gray area.
click to expand
Yeah maybe a bit gray on the light show
Posted by IceStorm
Of course he does. He probably wants to keep you in emotional limbo so that you can’t move on with your life while he pursues his options like men always do.

I mean, you can have a healthy friendship with an ex if you both have healed and if you both have truly let go of the relationship. But if you’re holding onto hopes of rekindling the relationship, you might be setting yourself up for a few extra years of emotional limbo and/or heartbreak. You have to be honest with yourself about your intentions.

I would encourage you to move forward instead. Don’t keep yourself at a standstill. If the relationship has been stagnant and hasn’t progressed and/or has been healthy, don’t let him waste more years of your life than he already has.

Thank you for your message 🩷 I truly love hearing all sides and it helps you know.
Posted by misslibrascorpio
Well I can see why he would want to be friends due to familiarity. He went ghost on me for a while so this was just a little shocking coming from him.

I know some people get nostalgic.

I mean we loved and we fought, toxic but I have had the highest compatibility with this man.

Time apart has made us better people for ourselves, he sounds different.

In his words “I have nothing against you, I wish you well whether we talk or don’t.” He also said “there has to be boundaries, it’s not like before when we would run back to each other. You can vent to me about anything but I don’t want you to be upset when I don’t respond the way I have in the past.”

Which I’m okay with, I resented this man for a long time but with my own inner peace I never want to feel that dark cloud again.

P.S. probably does want to lay on my pillows lol jk he’s legit working/living across the country now so I doubt it that would occur.
If he's long distance and you can do the friendship- then go for it.

But He's already setting you up for dealing with his BS and not getting mad at him. He's letting you know that he is willing to cut you off again if his boundaries are crossed.


The question is if YOU can handle a friendship with him.

Posted by saggurl88
Posted by Basic
Posted by saggurl88
That Cancer man is trying to come back in and lay his head on your pillows!


They love the pillows
click to expand

A little motor boating action too!


click to expand
😂🤣 you have me laughing

I had to change my profile photo lol
Posted by misslibrascorpio
Posted by saggurl88
Posted by Basic
Posted by saggurl88
That Cancer man is trying to come back in and lay his head on your pillows!


They love the pillows
click to expand


A little motor boating action too!

click to expand

😂🤣 you have me laughing
I had to change my profile photo lol
click to expand
It was a great picture! I couldn't help myself! lol


They say that Cancer men and Cancer moon men go crazy for some large size pillows! Winking Big Grin
Posted by saggurl88
Posted by misslibrascorpio
Posted by saggurl88
Posted by Basic
Posted by saggurl88
That Cancer man is trying to come back in and lay his head on your pillows!



They love the pillows
click to expand



A little motor boating action too!

click to expand


😂🤣 you have me laughing
I had to change my profile photo lol
click to expand

It was a great picture! I couldn't help myself! lol

They say that Cancer men and Cancer moon men go crazy for some large size pillows!
click to expand
Don’t you have large size pirrows too? 😅
Posted by saggurl88
Posted by misslibrascorpio
Well I can see why he would want to be friends due to familiarity. He went ghost on me for a while so this was just a little shocking coming from him.
I know some people get nostalgic.
I mean we loved and we fought, toxic but I have had the highest compatibility with this man.
Time apart has made us better people for ourselves, he sounds different.
In his words “I have nothing against you, I wish you well whether we talk or don’t.” He also said “there has to be boundaries, it’s not like before when we would run back to each other. You can vent to me about anything but I don’t want you to be upset when I don’t respond the way I have in the past.”
Which I’m okay with, I resented this man for a long time but with my own inner peace I never want to feel that dark cloud again.
P.S. probably does want to lay on my pillows lol jk he’s legit working/living across the country now so I doubt it that would occur.


If he's long distance and you can do the friendship- then go for it.
But He's already setting you up for dealing with his BS and not getting mad at him. He's letting you know that he is willing to cut you off again if his boundaries are crossed.

The question is if YOU can handle a friendship with him.

click to expand
I am still getting a feel for it.

He is far and we wouldn’t be like hanging out or anything.


Like I said I rather be friends than enemies with him. I rather us be nice then never speak again.


This just all happened yesterday so it’s too soon to tell but I mean it I’m afraid of him moving on and cutting our friendship he probably has that same fear. He was very insecure in our relationship.
I am laughing at the pillows!!


All sweet messages and something think of 🤔


🩷
Posted by misslibrascorpio
Wow it’s been a while since I’ve logged into this and wrote. Well fast forward a couple of years.

My cancer ex asked if I wanted to be friends. I loved this man so deeply, like he had a tie to my soul. I think I’ve reached a point where I rather be friends than nothing and I rather be friends than enemies.

I am a little taken back he agreed to have a friendship and he said he’s open to hear me vent about everything including our past.

Can cancer men really hold a friendship with an ex girlfriend? Does this potentially lead to a rekindled relationship?

How do I handle this?
Let the games begin lol


Posted by saggurl88
That Cancer man is trying to come back in and lay his head on your pillows!

Or work on his after market manipulation
Posted by misslibrascorpio
Well I can see why he would want to be friends due to familiarity. He went ghost on me for a while so this was just a little shocking coming from him.

I know some people get nostalgic.

I mean we loved and we fought, toxic but I have had the highest compatibility with this man.

Time apart has made us better people for ourselves, he sounds different.

In his words “I have nothing against you, I wish you well whether we talk or don’t.” He also said “there has to be boundaries, it’s not like before when we would run back to each other. You can vent to me about anything but I don’t want you to be upset when I don’t respond the way I have in the past.”

Which I’m okay with, I resented this man for a long time but with my own inner peace I never want to feel that dark cloud again.

P.S. probably does want to lay on my pillows lol jk he’s legit working/living across the country now so I doubt it that would occur.
Cancer energy lives in the past.


They love to miss people and getting nostalgic.


Absence makes the heart grow fonder with them
Posted by Basic
Posted by saggurl88
Posted by misslibrascorpio
Posted by saggurl88
Posted by Basic
Posted by saggurl88
That Cancer man is trying to come back in and lay his head on your pillows!



They love the pillows
click to expand



A little motor boating action too!

click to expand


😂🤣 you have me laughing
I had to change my profile photo lol
click to expand

It was a great picture! I couldn't help myself! lol

They say that Cancer men and Cancer moon men go crazy for some large size pillows!



Don’t you have large size pirrows too? 😅
click to expand
That's how I know that most men go crazy for them lol


Fake asses took over for a while


BUT


User Submitted Image
Posted by saggurl88
Posted by Basic
Posted by saggurl88
Posted by misslibrascorpio
Posted by saggurl88
Posted by Basic
Posted by saggurl88
That Cancer man is trying to come back in and lay his head on your pillows!



They love the pillows
click to expand



A little motor boating action too!

click to expand



😂🤣 you have me laughing
I had to change my profile photo lol
click to expand


It was a great picture! I couldn't help myself! lol
They say that Cancer men and Cancer moon men go crazy for some large size pillows!


Don’t you have large size pirrows too? 😅
click to expand

That's how I know that most men go crazy for them lol

Fake asses took over for a while

BUT


click to expand
LOL


I don’t think I’m a body part guy 🤣


I like the head to toe or overall
Posted by DMV
Posted by saggurl88
That Cancer man is trying to come back in and lay his head on your pillows!




Or work on his after market manipulation
click to expand
Did you see that talk about boundaries? lol I would've left his ass on read.

Friendship rules, yeah right!!

You either accept me for me or keep it moving!

Friendship?


You mean giving him space to set up baby traps— nah.
Keep in mind, a lot of flings contact you just to see if they still got it
Posted by saggurl88
Posted by Basic
Posted by saggurl88
Posted by misslibrascorpio
Posted by saggurl88
Posted by Basic
Posted by saggurl88
That Cancer man is trying to come back in and lay his head on your pillows!



They love the pillows
click to expand



A little motor boating action too!

click to expand



😂🤣 you have me laughing
I had to change my profile photo lol
click to expand


It was a great picture! I couldn't help myself! lol
They say that Cancer men and Cancer moon men go crazy for some large size pillows!


Don’t you have large size pirrows too? 😅
click to expand

That's how I know that most men go crazy for them lol

Fake asses took over for a while

BUT


click to expand
Now I see men going for natural booties and big boobies!! ❤️
Posted by saggurl88
Posted by DMV
Posted by saggurl88
That Cancer man is trying to come back in and lay his head on your pillows!


Or work on his after market manipulation
click to expand

Did you see that talk about boundaries? lol I would've left his ass on read.
Friendship rules, yeah right!!
You either accept me for me or keep it moving!

click to expand
Well I called him out on that “why are you quick to talk about boundaries?” Lol he said he doesn’t want us to run back to each other but I can vent to him and he doesn’t have any grudge against me


See I’m the crazy one

I went off on him and made some valid points and then he got soft on me
Posted by DMV
Keep in mind, a lot of flings contact you just to see if they still got it
I think I’d be the one to see for myself before him.
Posted by Saturn_Returns
This is a completely pointless exercise that will only end in tears.

Nostalgia?! More like a desire for some unnecessary drama.

So are you sayid he’s playing mind games?
I couldn't even accept a friend request from cancer ex. I could never be friends again with any ex bf. I wonder how you can do that. So many unwanted feelings may just resurface. You got to be strong.
Posted by Saturn_Returns
Posted by misslibrascorpio
Posted by Saturn_Returns
This is a completely pointless exercise that will only end in tears.

Nostalgia?! More like a desire for some unnecessary drama.





So are you sayid he’s playing mind games?



It's not just about him - it's about the both of you.


I'm just calling it as I see it.

click to expand
I moved out a little over a year ago. We did try once and saw each tower in between that time. Last I saw him was January and last time I spoke to him was in March.


He talks/text differently now and I’m shocked how he stuck with his job out of state and has been working on himself. As well as I have been doing inner work and focusing on work and myself.


If anyone is crazy it’s me and the more manipulative one was him. I know cancers can be a little manipulative, he’s a cancer sun Virgo moon Gemini rising and Gemini Venus. I’m a Libra sun cancer moon and libra rising with Sagittarius Venus.
Posted by Saturn_Returns
Posted by misslibrascorpio


As well as I have been doing inner work and focusing on work and myself.

I'm sorry but the fact that you're considering this 'arrangement', and desperately trying to justify it, only shows that your 'inner work' has been a complete failure.

click to expand
Thank you for that

I take all ionizing and criticism 😘
Posted by TxOgal
I couldn't even accept a friend request from cancer ex. I could never be friends again with any ex bf. I wonder how you can do that. So many unwanted feelings may just resurface. You got to be strong.
The old me would never ever want to be friends but me now I’m handling it pretty well. I know better than I expected to be honest.
Posted by misslibrascorpio
Posted by Saturn_Returns
Posted by misslibrascorpio

As well as I have been doing inner work and focusing on work and myself.


I'm sorry but the fact that you're considering this 'arrangement', and desperately trying to justify it, only shows that your 'inner work' has been a complete failure.
click to expand

Thank you for that
I take all ionizing and criticism 😘
click to expand
*opinions

Posted by MysteriousHeart
Maybe friends with benefits…..until he finds another he desires a relationship with? A placeholder so to speak? Been there done that and it hurt like hell because I wasn’t over him. However, in your case since it’s been two years you’re probably over him and have no romantic feelings left so you could probably be a friend. But why would you want to? Especially if he only wants you as a friend until a new relationship comes along and then he drops you. I mean why else would he want to be friends unless he truly has no other friends? I feel like there is an ulterior motive here aside from truly wanting to be your friend, but I could be wrong.

I’ve only had two Cancer men who wanted to remain friends with me. One I only went on a handful of dates with and I was so naive that I fucked it up back then and he thought we were better off as friends. Fast forward a couple years and he’s asking me advice on how to propose to his then girlfriend. I was happy to help because he really was a great person and a good friend, but he kinda fell off on communication after he got married which I kinda figured would happen anyway. It is what it is.

The second cancer I was smitten with. We dated and I pushed him too fast for a relationship. We fell into a fwb for awhile until he met someone and ghosted me. Came back around and wanted to be strictly friends and I agreed because by then I was over him romantically. I guess I remained friends because he truly was there for me. Would fix things around my house, buy me things, give me dating advice, I’ve cried to him many times and I’ve been a shoulder for him to cry on after the death of his grandfather. Known each other for about 4 years and still keep in touch. He’s been there for me during my recent breakup. Still tries to get me to go out with him and his partner for dinner just to get me out of the house and cheer me up. I keep turning him down though because I’m so sad and pitiful I wouldn’t be good company. That and the fact that he’s poly and has been trying to get me to join him and his partner….but I just don’t do that.

Anyway, my point being after writing this long novel is do past lovers truly want to be a friend or is there some ulterior motive? I could be totally off base, but it’s just been my experience. I think you can be civil after breakups. You don’t have to hate each other…..but friends? Nah
In my situation I was with him for almost 5 years. I moved out a year and three months ago. From the time I moved out till March of 2023 I saw him a handful of times, we tried working things out twice, last time I physically saw him was in January and last time we exchanged a conversation was in March.


I can’t deny my soul still feels something for him because I think it does. I have a cancer moon and being a cancer moon has always made my feelings feel so intense and I have the worst time letting go of meaningful things. Trust me I’ve tried dating, having sex, going out, church, girls trip, the gym, therapy. Some things healthier than others but I tried.


I don’t think I am as obsessed over the relationship like I was before.


He moved to another state to work and has been gone since September of last year. We can’t be FWB because he lives in the east coast now and I live back

home in CA.


He used to be in a very dark place but I also have done some damage to the relationship. It was toxic and we both know this now.


I don’t know if he wants to be friends to have someone to talk to in the meanwhile, it’s too soon to tell.


I know we loved each other deeply and we both mourned a loss when we broke up.
Posted by MysteriousHeart
Posted by misslibrascorpio
Posted by MysteriousHeart
Maybe friends with benefits…..until he finds another he desires a relationship with? A placeholder so to speak? Been there done that and it hurt like hell because I wasn’t over him. However, in your case since it’s been two years you’re probably over him and have no romantic feelings left so you could probably be a friend. But why would you want to? Especially if he only wants you as a friend until a new relationship comes along and then he drops you. I mean why else would he want to be friends unless he truly has no other friends? I feel like there is an ulterior motive here aside from truly wanting to be your friend, but I could be wrong.
I’ve only had two Cancer men who wanted to remain friends with me. One I only went on a handful of dates with and I was so naive that I fucked it up back then and he thought we were better off as friends. Fast forward a couple years and he’s asking me advice on how to propose to his then girlfriend. I was happy to help because he really was a great person and a good friend, but he kinda fell off on communication after he got married which I kinda figured would happen anyway. It is what it is.
The second cancer I was smitten with. We dated and I pushed him too fast for a relationship. We fell into a fwb for awhile until he met someone and ghosted me. Came back around and wanted to be strictly friends and I agreed because by then I was over him romantically. I guess I remained friends because he truly was there for me. Would fix things around my house, buy me things, give me dating advice, I’ve cried to him many times and I’ve been a shoulder for him to cry on after the death of his grandfather. Known each other for about 4 years and still keep in touch. He’s been there for me during my recent breakup. Still tries to get me to go out with him and his partner for dinner just to get me out of the house and cheer me up. I keep turning him down though because I’m so sad and pitiful I wouldn’t be good company. That and the fact that he’s poly and has been trying to get me to join him and his partner….but I just don’t do that.
Anyway, my point being after writing this long novel is do past lovers truly want to be a friend or is there some ulterior motive? I could be totally off base, but it’s just been my experience. I think you can be civil after breakups. You don’t have to hate each other…..but friends? Nah


In my situation I was with him for almost 5 years. I moved out a year and three months ago. From the time I moved out till March of 2023 I saw him a handful of times, we tried working things out twice, last time I physically saw him was in January and last time we exchanged a conversation was in March.

I can’t deny my soul still feels something for him because I think it does. I have a cancer moon and being a cancer moon has always made my feelings feel so intense and I have the worst time letting go of meaningful things. Trust me I’ve tried dating, having sex, going out, church, girls trip, the gym, therapy. Some things healthier than others but I tried.

I don’t think I am as obsessed over the relationship like I was before.

He moved to another state to work and has been gone since September of last year. We can’t be FWB because he lives in the east coast now and I live back
home in CA.

He used to be in a very dark place but I also have done some damage to the relationship. It was toxic and we both know this now.

I don’t know if he wants to be friends to have someone to talk to in the meanwhile, it’s too soon to tell.

I know we loved each other deeply and we both mourned a loss when we broke up.
click to expand

Well only you guys know what’s truly right for you guys. I can only imagine how difficult it must be after being together for so long. You two have a history and in a way will always be bonded to each other. Even if you’re not together physically. I wish you all the best. ❤️
click to expand
Such a sweet message


We do have a lot of history and I am not sure what’s to come of this but I can tell he’s matured a little more since we’ve talked last. Life is all about lessons, even people are lessons but him and I clearly are okay with being friends for the moment.


I appreciate you 🩷

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