Cancer moons 🌚🌚

What's your relationship like with your mom?

And her sign?

Posted by ThatWoman
It's a meh. I feel like instead making me feel stronger, she makes me feel weaker.. Lacking emotional support, she is too busy with her own unresolved emotional issues. I never feel heard or understood. I have lots of arguments, we just don't click!

she's a pisces and my moon is in the 8th house.

I'm sorry to hear that. But would you say, you had a more positive connection with your dad?

Posted by ThatWoman

Posted by virgoOPPP

Posted by ThatWoman
It's a meh. I feel like instead making me feel stronger, she makes me feel weaker.. Lacking emotional support, she is too busy with her own unresolved emotional issues. I never feel heard or understood. I have lots of arguments, we just don't click!
she's a pisces and my moon is in the 8th house.

I'm sorry to hear that. But would you say, you had a more positive connection with your dad?
click to expand

nope, my dad is basically not present. he exists but he doesn't have any interest about his daughters so he didn't do anything. I don't like my dad much more than my mom.

What about you? How do you view your mom and your relationship with her?

click to expand

my mom was always distant like my dad (they had me pretty young so i was mostly raised by nannies and dad was always busy working). but i don't resent them coz it was pretty much the norm for me though i think it contributed to my social awkwardness.

mainly i'm asking coz my toddler is a cancer moon so i'm curious what they're like with their parents.

Posted by CoCoBeans
I mean it gets significantly worse than that but dxp doesn’t need to know. I actually didn’t realize how evil they were until my ex kept pointing it out. But I’m sure it has nothing to do with your relationship with your son. My mother would never ask a question on how to grow her relationship with me lol.

Do you have siblings?

Posted by CoCoBeans
I mean it gets significantly worse than that but dxp doesn’t need to know. I actually didn’t realize how evil they were until my ex kept pointing it out. But I’m sure it has nothing to do with your relationship with your son. My mother would never ask a question on how to grow her relationship with me lol.

Your mommy issues are not showing at all Sanch, keep going. We didn’t get to the part where she made you get baptized by the reverend.

In Sierra’s case, her kid probably said dada first and now she is getting competitive early.

Posted by CoCoBeans

Posted by jazzykid

Posted by CoCoBeans
I mean it gets significantly worse than that but dxp doesn’t need to know. I actually didn’t realize how evil they were until my ex kept pointing it out. But I’m sure it has nothing to do with your relationship with your son. My mother would never ask a question on how to grow her relationship with me lol.

Do you have siblings?

I have two older brothers. But they treated them horribly too. They don’t talk to my parents. The one does sometimes but he mostly goes through my sister in law.

click to expand

Was your relationship with them good at least, some kind of silver lining?

Posted by CoCoBeans
They both got Covid pretty hard back when it all was a thing and my dad almost nearly died. I nurtured that guy back to life and he still treats me like shit 😂 my mom’s an asshole too. Never emotionally supported me once. Only threw money at me, but nothing was ever good enough/someone else was always better. When I did things that made me proud, I didn’t invite them to celebrate with me. Took me a really long time to accept that it is what it is. Boomers have zero desire for self improvement. Also, everything was always my fault it got to be comical.

i'm reading through a lot of parenting 'literature' lol and i read that some people repeat patterns that they've had with their own parents and when my in laws started to spend more time with my child (literally stopping the co-sleeping with me and his dad when he crossed from infancy to toddlerhood so my MIL can co-sleep with him instead), i found myself becoming my own parents like more focused on the material. but we're moving farther away from my in laws coz i feel like my MIL already had sooo many kids but like i don't want her trying to possess my own. Older gens here are so possessive.

@CocoBeans

For context, I've found out that my MIL in total had 8 kids (but the firstborn son was taken by my FIL's childless sister who lives far away) but my MIL was already pregnant with my husband at that time so she can't stress about it too much is my guess? Firstborn skipped on the family coz he grew up somewhere else basically.

Anyway, my MIL started co-sleeping with my child around his 4th-5th month and I secretly cried about it to my husband. I think I might've posted about it here and someone thought I'm being hormonal post-pregnancy and just possessive but low key judging by the past, I have logical reason to think she's being possessive of my child.

Damn I hope I don't sound crazy right now.

Posted by CoCoBeans

Posted by jazzykid

Posted by CoCoBeans

Posted by jazzykid

Posted by CoCoBeans
I mean it gets significantly worse than that but dxp doesn’t need to know. I actually didn’t realize how evil they were until my ex kept pointing it out. But I’m sure it has nothing to do with your relationship with your son. My mother would never ask a question on how to grow her relationship with me lol.

Do you have siblings?

I have two older brothers. But they treated them horribly too. They don’t talk to my parents. The one does sometimes but he mostly goes through my sister in law.
click to expand

Was your relationship with them good at least, some kind of silver lining?

They were 12 and 10 years older than me. We weren’t close. Growing up alone makes me feel bad that my kid doesn’t have a sibling.

click to expand

I’m sure you’ll fill in that gap. Cancer moons got such a bad rep for being whiny, but they literally are the ones stuck doing everything for everyone, whether they deserve or not.

Their devotion is pretty impressive.

Posted by CoCoBeans

Posted by virgoOPPP

Posted by CoCoBeans
They both got Covid pretty hard back when it all was a thing and my dad almost nearly died. I nurtured that guy back to life and he still treats me like shit 😂 my mom’s an asshole too. Never emotionally supported me once. Only threw money at me, but nothing was ever good enough/someone else was always better. When I did things that made me proud, I didn’t invite them to celebrate with me. Took me a really long time to accept that it is what it is. Boomers have zero desire for self improvement. Also, everything was always my fault it got to be comical.

i'm reading through a lot of parenting 'literature' lol and i read that some people repeat patterns that they've had with their own parents and when my in laws started to spend more time with my child (literally stopping the co-sleeping with me and his dad when he crossed from infancy to toddlerhood so my MIL can co-sleep with him instead), i found myself becoming my own parents like more focused on the material. but we're moving farther away from my in laws coz i feel like my MIL already had sooo many kids but like i don't want her trying to possess my own. Older gens here are so possessive.
click to expand

My son’s speech therapist said it’s common for the mom to be the toddlers least favorite person because they still consider mom apart of them or something like that. But he’ll always run to you first when he really needs someone. My son is obsessed with my mom for some reason. I don’t care. She buys him things so 🤷🏻‍♀️but that’s weird that she wants him to cosleep with her.

click to expand

I don't find it weird coz I co-slept with my grandma. Hell sometimes even in college age every now and then lol but maybe it's a cultural thing 🤷🤷

What I can't stand is older people here always exerting their power/control/influence like yesterday, at the very last minute they tell me they're going to my FIL's side of the family coz the old folks want to see my child.

I could've been told this much earlier but it was done this way coz no matter what she says or does, I know she (MIL) low key does not like me. Coz like I said, older people here are possessive of their children like I stole him by marrying him.

Posted by Stardustmopped

Posted by virgoOPPP
@CocoBeans
For context, I've found out that my MIL in total had 8 kids (but the firstborn son was taken by my FIL's childless sister who lives far away) but my MIL was already pregnant with my husband at that time so she can't stress about it too much is my guess? Firstborn skipped on the family coz he grew up somewhere else basically.
Anyway, my MIL started co-sleeping with my child around his 4th-5th month and I secretly cried about it to my husband. I think I might've posted about it here and someone thought I'm being hormonal post-pregnancy and just possessive but low key judging by the past, I have logical reason to think she's being possessive of my child.
Damn I hope I don't sound crazy right now.

You don’t sound crazy. Is she a Taurus?

click to expand

Yes omg how did you know?

Posted by WoolyLabia
Guise don’t cry

It’s not your fault (robin williams voice)

😆😆 i think water suns with this moon are crybabies but not fire suns

Posted by WoolyLabia
Guise don’t cry

It’s not your fault (robin williams voice)

👆Ands is 32 degrees Cancer moon who cries on the inside.

Pay no mind to him.

Posted by Stardustmopped

Posted by virgoOPPP

Posted by Stardustmopped

Posted by virgoOPPP
@CocoBeans
For context, I've found out that my MIL in total had 8 kids (but the firstborn son was taken by my FIL's childless sister who lives far away) but my MIL was already pregnant with my husband at that time so she can't stress about it too much is my guess? Firstborn skipped on the family coz he grew up somewhere else basically.
Anyway, my MIL started co-sleeping with my child around his 4th-5th month and I secretly cried about it to my husband. I think I might've posted about it here and someone thought I'm being hormonal post-pregnancy and just possessive but low key judging by the past, I have logical reason to think she's being possessive of my child.
Damn I hope I don't sound crazy right now.

You don’t sound crazy. Is she a Taurus?
click to expand

Yes omg how did you know?
click to expand

😐 I have seen this behavior in Taurus women sooo many times. Specifically pretending to be well meaning and then try to play your role better than you. Stepmoms competing against bio moms etc.

I will tell you more in DMs if you want but they are wacko. I’m not sure how you set boundaries with them because they just play dumb and cry when confronted about it.

click to expand

I understand that my in laws should spend time with my child so I've submitted to the situation for now but I'm sure things will improve once we've moved.

I guess I have the opposite problem cause I wish my in-laws or my parents could sleep with my toddler because I’m exhausted. My situation is so weird I can’t make it make sense. My parents are younger and dote on my kid like crazy. My husband can’t stand it and constantly gets unreasonably jealous over it?? Like wtf?? His dad is practically bedridden so he expects his mom to step up and be the favorite grandparent. My MIL and I can’t stand each other because she’s a total whack job. She’s completely gone in the head. My husband knows this and knows deep down it affects how she sees our kid less than the other older grandkids from his side but he refuses to face it?? So what does he do… he refuses to go out on date nights if his mom is unavailable to babysit because he can’t handle the idea of my parents babysitting our kid instead?? It’s so beyond ridiculous, like I can’t. His mom keeps telling him to give our kid off to my parents too but that makes him even more stubborn not to because how dare she!! I’ve never been so grateful to not have extremely unhealthy parents because it will rub off on you in some way unfortunately.

Posted by SassyKiwi
I guess I have the opposite problem cause I wish my in-laws or my parents could sleep with my toddler because I’m exhausted. My situation is so weird I can’t make it make sense. My parents are younger and dote on my kid like crazy. My husband can’t stand it and constantly gets unreasonably jealous over it?? Like wtf?? His dad is practically bedridden so he expects his mom to step up and be the favorite grandparent. My MIL and I can’t stand each other because she’s a total whack job. She’s completely gone in the head. My husband knows this and knows deep down it affects how she sees our kid less than the other older grandkids from his side but he refuses to face it?? So what does he do… he refuses to go out on date nights if his mom is unavailable to babysit because he can’t handle the idea of my parents babysitting our kid instead?? It’s so beyond ridiculous, like I can’t. His mom keeps telling him to give our kid off to my parents too but that makes him even more stubborn not to because how dare she!! I’ve never been so grateful to not have extremely unhealthy parents because it will rub off on you in some way unfortunately.

are you saying that you can sense your MIL doesn't like your child? 🤔🤔

must admit i absolutely secretly cried and started an argument with my husband about the co-sleeping when it started happening. understandly, there's a sense that they're helping out and prob want to spend more time with the baby so eventually i appreciated it but he's turning 2 in august and this still continues to happen. but there are complex things at play about this that would be too long and too personal to get into. but we've decided to move sometime this year.

Posted by virgoOPPP
but there are complex things at play about this that would be too long and too personal to get into. but we've decided to move sometime this year.

The consistency is odd for sure. It seems like a few things. His grand parents feel a responsibility to help take care of their grandson, keep eyes on him and guard him from something like impairment or domestic conflict?

Posted by virgoOPPP

Posted by SassyKiwi
I guess I have the opposite problem cause I wish my in-laws or my parents could sleep with my toddler because I’m exhausted. My situation is so weird I can’t make it make sense. My parents are younger and dote on my kid like crazy. My husband can’t stand it and constantly gets unreasonably jealous over it?? Like wtf?? His dad is practically bedridden so he expects his mom to step up and be the favorite grandparent. My MIL and I can’t stand each other because she’s a total whack job. She’s completely gone in the head. My husband knows this and knows deep down it affects how she sees our kid less than the other older grandkids from his side but he refuses to face it?? So what does he do… he refuses to go out on date nights if his mom is unavailable to babysit because he can’t handle the idea of my parents babysitting our kid instead?? It’s so beyond ridiculous, like I can’t. His mom keeps telling him to give our kid off to my parents too but that makes him even more stubborn not to because how dare she!! I’ve never been so grateful to not have extremely unhealthy parents because it will rub off on you in some way unfortunately.

are you saying that you can sense your MIL doesn't like your child? 🤔🤔

must admit i absolutely secretly cried and started an argument with my husband about the co-sleeping when it started happening. understandly, there's a sense that they're helping out and prob want to spend more time with the baby so eventually i appreciated it but he's turning 2 in august and this still continues to happen. but there are complex things at play about this that would be too long and too personal to get into. but we've decided to move sometime this year.

click to expand

Yeah she’s one of those pathetic, toxic women who favorite their daughter’s kids vs their son’s kids because they think their son got stolen after marriage and shit. Just giving some perspective your MIL could be on the other end and be worst like mine. We can’t have it all I guess. I’m definitely not invalidating your feelings of your MIL being pushy and/or overly possessive. That definitely requires enforcing healthy boundaries before it becomes toxic in other ways. It’s a common problem world wide with their generation of people. I don’t know how straightforward your husband is with his own mother but if he’s moving you guys away from her he must be very supportive of you and that is amazing. Way too many sons have trouble standing up to their crazy moms unlike daughters and that’s what causes a lot of relationship problems.

Posted by ThatWoman

Posted by virgoOPPP

Posted by ThatWoman

Posted by virgoOPPP

Posted by ThatWoman
It's a meh. I feel like instead making me feel stronger, she makes me feel weaker.. Lacking emotional support, she is too busy with her own unresolved emotional issues. I never feel heard or understood. I have lots of arguments, we just don't click!
she's a pisces and my moon is in the 8th house.

I'm sorry to hear that. But would you say, you had a more positive connection with your dad?
click to expand

nope, my dad is basically not present. he exists but he doesn't have any interest about his daughters so he didn't do anything. I don't like my dad much more than my mom.
What about you? How do you view your mom and your relationship with her?
click to expand

my mom was always distant like my dad (they had me pretty young so i was mostly raised by nannies and dad was always busy working). but i don't resent them coz it was pretty much the norm for me though i think it contributed to my social awkwardness.
mainly i'm asking coz my toddler is a cancer moon so i'm curious what they're like with their parents.
click to expand

I see.. I guess the reason why you don't resent them is because you understand the reason that keep them away from you is work which basically to support your living.

I hope my sons will never resent me in any way shape oe form because I have both of my sons have concerning moon placements; the older one has Scorpio moon (detriment moon) and the younger one has moon in 12th house. Sigh..

But if I try to predict how they will apply, I can connect it to my never ending work and having to pay household bills ever since I was 20.. Sigh.

On the positive note though, understanding their placements (although quite vaguely) I can take it as precautions and put more effort into making stronger both mental and emotional connections with them.

Maybe if I can say something, perhaps you may want to work with an idea that cancer has a tendency to be clingy, somewhat controlling (in indirect ways), and too nurturing you may want to figure that out. Especially if you have sons who need to establish a sense of independence, freedom and self-reliance. For daughters, I think cancer moons can be great, right?

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well, my dad worked but my mom partied lol.

but no resentment from me but my cancer moon brother resented her deeply that it affected how he treated women in his life (disrespectful and violent).

even when i was younger, i've seen people as individuals with their own interests, quirks and goals. like I don't like it when someone watches me when i'm busy with coloring books. they just didn't seem all that interested in us and that's okay with me 🤷🤷

and what's to resent? i grew up with everything i wanted. toys, nannies who loved me and private schools throughout my life which is unlike most of the population where i'm from.

Posted by SassyKiwi

Posted by virgoOPPP

Posted by SassyKiwi
I guess I have the opposite problem cause I wish my in-laws or my parents could sleep with my toddler because I’m exhausted. My situation is so weird I can’t make it make sense. My parents are younger and dote on my kid like crazy. My husband can’t stand it and constantly gets unreasonably jealous over it?? Like wtf?? His dad is practically bedridden so he expects his mom to step up and be the favorite grandparent. My MIL and I can’t stand each other because she’s a total whack job. She’s completely gone in the head. My husband knows this and knows deep down it affects how she sees our kid less than the other older grandkids from his side but he refuses to face it?? So what does he do… he refuses to go out on date nights if his mom is unavailable to babysit because he can’t handle the idea of my parents babysitting our kid instead?? It’s so beyond ridiculous, like I can’t. His mom keeps telling him to give our kid off to my parents too but that makes him even more stubborn not to because how dare she!! I’ve never been so grateful to not have extremely unhealthy parents because it will rub off on you in some way unfortunately.

are you saying that you can sense your MIL doesn't like your child? 🤔🤔
must admit i absolutely secretly cried and started an argument with my husband about the co-sleeping when it started happening. understandly, there's a sense that they're helping out and prob want to spend more time with the baby so eventually i appreciated it but he's turning 2 in august and this still continues to happen. but there are complex things at play about this that would be too long and too personal to get into. but we've decided to move sometime this year.
click to expand

Yeah she’s one of those pathetic, toxic women who favorite their daughter’s kids vs their son’s kids because they think their son got stolen after marriage and shit. Just giving some perspective your MIL could be on the other end and be worst like mine. We can’t have it all I guess. I’m definitely not invalidating your feelings of your MIL being pushy and/or overly possessive. That definitely requires enforcing healthy boundaries before it becomes toxic in other ways. It’s a common problem world wide with their generation of people. I don’t know how straightforward your husband is with his own mother but if he’s moving you guys away from her he must be very supportive of you and that is amazing. Way too many sons have trouble standing up to their crazy moms unlike daughters and that’s what causes a lot of relationship problems.

click to expand

meanwhile, i'm right here buying toys for my future daughter in advance 😆😆

older gens and their internalized hatred for women total mystery to me when so many men turn out to be such troublemakers 🙄🙄

@SassyKiwi

and i've read a theory on reddit that the conservative parents (especially the mother) tends to see the daughter/female child as an extension of their 'trauma' while the son/male child represents the 'savior' 🤷🤷