Cancer-Virgo Breakup.

Hello all, first time on this forum hope the wise cancerians can shed some light ony situation.

Ive been in a 4 year relationship with a Cancer Girl and recently split up as she has been complaining of not being happy for a while. To make a long story short, first 2 years were great as we focused on our studies as well as holding down jobs. Last 2 years were hard on her as I became a substance abuser mainly marijuana and alcohol and as with most cases a person on a 2 year binge of such substances loses track of their life aswell as goals and ambitions which is what a woman clearly needs in a man. I became soo selfish with my own wants and needs that I began neglecting her, as a result of my deep and passionate love for her I needed to know what was making us grow apart evem though I knew the answer myself ... but simply could not kick the habit. During my phase of a constant high I would chat to girls and enjoyed the attention as she would not give it to me anymore, again because I was changing as a person aswell as lost sight of providing the security every woman needs aswell as that chemistry we soo dearly lacked. Im naturaly a jealous person, I would always hassle her about her plans and question her as to why she would take long to reply if she was out, or why I never got a message from her when I didnt even need one. I Guess my virgo-ness kicked in high gear with my use of marijuana and jealousy became an even bigger problem.

The last few months I could clearly see she was not happy as before but we carried on because of the love we have for one another. Her being a cancerian lady everytime I would ask whats the matter how do we fix things she would keep it inside until finnaly a week ago she said, due to my addiction she is no longer happy, but still loves me and wishes I could just have fixed myself sooner. I begged her to give me another chance to which she replied she had given me many, and I knew then I had really sent her over the edge with everything I had put her through.

We both still live with our parents, we both are 22 and she is without a doubt the love of my life. I really never felt I had the power to give up my bad habits during the good times and even during the bad times I would constantly Lie to her telling her id been clean for months. I Know where I went wrong and im paying the price for it now, not being able to hold her at night or talk to her about her worries.and actibities she fot up to during her day.

So im basic

So im basicly here to ask for advice as well as guidance, because the man she fell inlove with is not the man she dumped as in most relationships, I actualy had a problem and what she never realised was Id never really thought Id lost her so I never had reason to change. I Did not even give her a chance to see the real guy she fell inlove with during those last 2 years ... I want her back more than anything in this world, ive done the evaluating if you really know you want the girl youve lost back and that nonsense, I know what I want and I will go for it. I Will fight to the death as thats what she wanted all along, for me to fight and give her the attention she needs.

if Any one can shed some light as to how to win her back, because she deserves to see the real me, to be with the guy she once adored as when dated for the first 2 years and I was a good boy, we were definately marriage material. PLEASE .... any positive adbice would do me the world of good, im in a really dark place at the moment.

thnx in advance

I can't help you here, OP. Sorry.

Are you still using? First you gotta kick the habit or at least learn how to go easy on it so you don't start affecting the way you treat her. Then just be the man she needs. This board has a lot of great advice. Talk to her about your inner, let her open up to you about her inner, protect her, love her, make love to her as often as possible, let her love you/don't run away when she gets intense with her emotions, praise her for her feminine/domestic talents, be interested in her work or her hobbies, invite her along to your hobbies, prove to her that you're done with lying by being open and honest about everything, invite her to see your family and get to know her family. Buy her jewelry or lingerie or a trip for two or make her dinner. Be nice to her pets. Show her how you've changed.

Work on yourself for now, I was with a Virgo man for two years (I'm a Cancer woman) although the love was strong I often found him to be controlling and selfish, he didn't drink or do drugs but he was obsessed with money. I often felt like second.

Cancer women are sensitive and need a harmonious home life in order to thrive in a relationship, only once you can offer some stability should you approach her and try to make amends.

You do deserve recognition though, for the fact that you admit you have a problem. Perhaps its time to explore the reasons that you felt the need to escape, rather than focusing on the drugs consider what it was that drove you to use them.