Cancerboy Cancer - PART 2
This topic was created in the Cancer forum by taurusgoddess on Wednesday, August 3, 2005 and has 26 replies.
Oh by the way, CL, Cancerboy called me yesterday asking if I knew what I did wrong. I said "No",but I'd love to talk about it." He FREAKED out that I didn't know, so I started guessing that maybe I could've been there more for him or something & he just freaked; that if I don't know then I don't care. I said that I wish we would have better communication and now would be a good time. He just kept asking me if I knew why he was mad & finally I said that "if he wants someone that cares that it's me but if he wants someone to know trivia then that is not really love or what a relationship is". And closed with I can't believe he would treat me this way. Then we both hung up cursing away.
He called about 8 times after that. I finally answered, and he wanted to meet and talk in a few hours. I said I wasn't intereted in an irrational childish conversation. He said he felt bad for that & wanted to talk but I had plans. So we closed that I said I would call him on thursday. He said if I really cared it would be today. He said it again as I hung up.
He is so SELFISH, my GODDDDDDDDDDDDd!!! I can't help but miss him but it seems way too wrecked now to be fixed. I don't even know how he wants to fix it, because that is a 2-way street. I can't be with someone that communicates with me like I'm in court for a crime I have no clue about!
He called about 8 times after that. I finally answered, and he wanted to meet and talk in a few hours. I said I wasn't intereted in an irrational childish conversation. He said he felt bad for that & wanted to talk but I had plans. So we closed that I said I would call him on thursday. He said if I really cared it would be today. He said it again as I hung up.
He is so SELFISH, my GODDDDDDDDDDDDd!!! I can't help but miss him but it seems way too wrecked now to be fixed. I don't even know how he wants to fix it, because that is a 2-way street. I can't be with someone that communicates with me like I'm in court for a crime I have no clue about!
What is this guy's chart like...Do you know his birthdate, place & time?
That sounds very Cancerish...expecting the other person to "know" your insides and out because it is sometimes very difficult to express displeasure or whatever.
The whole thing is...do you really want to be with this guy? If you do, talk to him on Thursday and be real with him, but also be real with yourself about what you want from him...I HONESTLY don't see what you mean about it being so "wrecked" to the point of being unfixable.
Have you ever experienced a really bad relationship? Doesn't seem like you have because the things you complain about seem really trivial. PLEASE don't take this the wrong way...it's just that relationships are bound to have their little snags here and there.
Do you HONESTLY want a boyfriend who does EVERYTHING EXACTLY how you want it to be done? If you do...dating a cardinal sign is the wrong answer because he is also going to have set beliefs on how a relationship goes and a fixed sign (you) moves for noone. Seems like you both have alot of communication and compromise that needs doing. Remember when you said you dated a Taurus? Remeber all the things that irritated the heck out of you about him and apply them to looking at Cancerboy's perspective but only if you really still want him. If you don't let him go.
Besides, what happened to the new Taurus man?
Cancerlady
That sounds very Cancerish...expecting the other person to "know" your insides and out because it is sometimes very difficult to express displeasure or whatever.
The whole thing is...do you really want to be with this guy? If you do, talk to him on Thursday and be real with him, but also be real with yourself about what you want from him...I HONESTLY don't see what you mean about it being so "wrecked" to the point of being unfixable.
Have you ever experienced a really bad relationship? Doesn't seem like you have because the things you complain about seem really trivial. PLEASE don't take this the wrong way...it's just that relationships are bound to have their little snags here and there.
Do you HONESTLY want a boyfriend who does EVERYTHING EXACTLY how you want it to be done? If you do...dating a cardinal sign is the wrong answer because he is also going to have set beliefs on how a relationship goes and a fixed sign (you) moves for noone. Seems like you both have alot of communication and compromise that needs doing. Remember when you said you dated a Taurus? Remeber all the things that irritated the heck out of you about him and apply them to looking at Cancerboy's perspective but only if you really still want him. If you don't let him go.
Besides, what happened to the new Taurus man?
Cancerlady
CL, I have had bad relationships. Not just trivial things at all.
Last year me & ex of on & off 4.5 years broke up in spring. A big hardship was him going to Cocaine Anonymous for a month. I was there for him. He cleaned up. He wanted to pretty much tie the knot, after. I wanted to take the time considering what we had just been through. He couldn't wait. He was engaged & married 6 months later. During that time as ex from high school got murdered and my fav aunt died. It was hell. But I was there, I guess I just wanted security in the relationship.
Regarding the new taurus man, I just met him, not sure what I want with that. To new to tell where things would go. Right now I have cancerboy pulling my strings, and I so wish things could be communicated whether we stay together or not. I hate things left undone. The right thing doesn't happen then.
Last year me & ex of on & off 4.5 years broke up in spring. A big hardship was him going to Cocaine Anonymous for a month. I was there for him. He cleaned up. He wanted to pretty much tie the knot, after. I wanted to take the time considering what we had just been through. He couldn't wait. He was engaged & married 6 months later. During that time as ex from high school got murdered and my fav aunt died. It was hell. But I was there, I guess I just wanted security in the relationship.
Regarding the new taurus man, I just met him, not sure what I want with that. To new to tell where things would go. Right now I have cancerboy pulling my strings, and I so wish things could be communicated whether we stay together or not. I hate things left undone. The right thing doesn't happen then.
Last year me & ex of on & off 4.5 years broke up in spring. A big hardship was him going to Cocaine Anonymous for a month.
I so wish things could be communicated whether we stay together or not. I hate things left undone.
Oh okay...I see pretty bad stuff. Security is what you crave so no wonder why you hate leaving things undone! Things are only going to be communicated if you initiate them and it's going to be like pulling teeth as you can already see!
Go ahead and be the dentist but use the iron fist/velvet glove method. Try to keep a screaming match from happening because neither of you will get anywhere and if it threatens...you be the one to say listen, I didn't come here for this...you need to either tell me exactly what it is I am doing or not doing OR don't be mad at me because I can't read your mind! Specifics only, don't allow him to be vague or you'll never get anywhere! THEN be sure to communicate to him what has been making you unhappy all this time but if you do still want him...also tell him the good points of the relationship. I think we Cancers respond well to positive reinforcement.
Good Luck and I definitely want to know the outcome!
CL
I so wish things could be communicated whether we stay together or not. I hate things left undone.
Oh okay...I see pretty bad stuff. Security is what you crave so no wonder why you hate leaving things undone! Things are only going to be communicated if you initiate them and it's going to be like pulling teeth as you can already see!
Go ahead and be the dentist but use the iron fist/velvet glove method. Try to keep a screaming match from happening because neither of you will get anywhere and if it threatens...you be the one to say listen, I didn't come here for this...you need to either tell me exactly what it is I am doing or not doing OR don't be mad at me because I can't read your mind! Specifics only, don't allow him to be vague or you'll never get anywhere! THEN be sure to communicate to him what has been making you unhappy all this time but if you do still want him...also tell him the good points of the relationship. I think we Cancers respond well to positive reinforcement.
Good Luck and I definitely want to know the outcome!
CL
So we met at the Revolving Restaurant for a bottle of wine to have our talk.
He pretty much said he had felt rejected and didn't think I cared so he figured he would just leave. Then he wanted to call but got so scared that every day that went by he said it was harder and that communication scares him to death. I told him if he wants to move anywhere that must be there. I told him I need to trust & I can't if he keeps running away. So we kind of left it that we really care about each other & that we deal with things completely opposite, but we would try to work as team and talk more and think of each other.
I got an amazing good night kiss and for the first time in years from anyone other than family, an "I love you".
It felt so good to talk, and I'll see how things go, I know that took a lot for him to talk to me and tell everything. I just gotta see what the truth of time tells.
He pretty much said he had felt rejected and didn't think I cared so he figured he would just leave. Then he wanted to call but got so scared that every day that went by he said it was harder and that communication scares him to death. I told him if he wants to move anywhere that must be there. I told him I need to trust & I can't if he keeps running away. So we kind of left it that we really care about each other & that we deal with things completely opposite, but we would try to work as team and talk more and think of each other.
I got an amazing good night kiss and for the first time in years from anyone other than family, an "I love you".
It felt so good to talk, and I'll see how things go, I know that took a lot for him to talk to me and tell everything. I just gotta see what the truth of time tells.
All I gotta say is...
I need my damn smileys back! Down with the system that oppresses smileys! Namely my JOB!
I need my damn smileys back! Down with the system that oppresses smileys! Namely my JOB!
OK, I know cancers don't really give 2nd chances or whatever but this guy and me are so opposite on what we think is wrong and right. I mean when we are happy, it is awesome. Yesterday he asked if I had done anything with anyone else. We hadn't talked for 2 weeks after he had run out on me 3 weeks earlier so I figured lets be honest. I told him I kissed someone when I went tubing in the states for a weekend. KISSED. That's it, and he had completely ignored my calls for a week after dissappearing a nite we were out. He is furious, calling me a cheater and that he doesn't know if he can forgive that, saying he would never of done that.
I don't know how I did anything wrong. I was a mess, crying all week. I get away and try to have some tame fun, mostly partying and 1 kissing session, and that is sooooooooooooo FFFFFFFFFFF'in unforgiveable. I don't get it. I know you guys will say I should just let him go, or I probally don't even have that choice. But I feel like I lost something so good for such a stupid reason.
I don't know how I did anything wrong. I was a mess, crying all week. I get away and try to have some tame fun, mostly partying and 1 kissing session, and that is sooooooooooooo FFFFFFFFFFF'in unforgiveable. I don't get it. I know you guys will say I should just let him go, or I probally don't even have that choice. But I feel like I lost something so good for such a stupid reason.
haha on me, reading back..."I just gotta see what the truth of time tells."
Taurusgoddess,
Regardless of the outcome...you did the right thing. You told him the truth. I would say it is not cheating, that is probably just his jealousy talking...but if he ignored your calls all that time, etc. how are you supposed to figure that you are still dating exclusively? There is no fault in you and believe me...he will respect you more for telling him the truth even though lies are sometimes easier to deal with.
Oh and about Cancers not giving second chances...where did you get that from? We are only second to Pisces in giving second chances. We live for giving people the benefit of the doubt, but I bet he will be expecting you to call him and initiate the conversation (stubborn we are). I think you should really explain to him how much he hurt you by walking out like that then point out the fact that you DID tell him the truth, you DID NOT sleep with the guy and if that's not reason enough to trust you...I don't know what is! Don't really apologize because you didn't do anything wrong, simply let him know that you would like to start over & put the past behind.
Keep me posted!
CL/CM2
Regardless of the outcome...you did the right thing. You told him the truth. I would say it is not cheating, that is probably just his jealousy talking...but if he ignored your calls all that time, etc. how are you supposed to figure that you are still dating exclusively? There is no fault in you and believe me...he will respect you more for telling him the truth even though lies are sometimes easier to deal with.
Oh and about Cancers not giving second chances...where did you get that from? We are only second to Pisces in giving second chances. We live for giving people the benefit of the doubt, but I bet he will be expecting you to call him and initiate the conversation (stubborn we are). I think you should really explain to him how much he hurt you by walking out like that then point out the fact that you DID tell him the truth, you DID NOT sleep with the guy and if that's not reason enough to trust you...I don't know what is! Don't really apologize because you didn't do anything wrong, simply let him know that you would like to start over & put the past behind.
Keep me posted!
CL/CM2
Thanks CL, I really feel lost with this guy sometimes, but you make sense of it all! I'm not sure where I got the 2nd chance thing from, but I believe it had something to do with once trust is broken then that is it. Just thought that, well, that's it for me then if I broke his trust once. I told him last night that after him leaving me so many times and ignoring me that I didn't think he wanted to work anything out anymore.
I won't be with someone if they will always look at me like I'm some cheater. If you forgive you forget. I've been cheated on, and it was a pretty serious relationship, but I forgave, and never doubted him again. I don't think cancerboy will forget so I'm going to make it easy and just never see him again. Very damn depressing for me though, I dreamt about him last night and miss him like crazy. Anyways, I don't feel guilt and I don't think I cheated. So me and him won't ever see eye to eye.
Hey there!
I still say that it isn't cheating...but this is from the girl who thinks oral sex is not REALLY cheating SO... (not a whole lot anyway
)
But you are right Taurusgoddess...if he can't let it go then that's his problem...I mean how can you in your right mind not talk to someone for 3 weeks but think that you are still in a relationship? He just wants something to be mad about because he is probably frustrated that things aren't turning out as he would want them. I mean I wouldn't want my Pisces to kiss any other girl, and it might hurt for a min, but COME ON! We have to be realistic...not idealistic and kissing is a WHOLE lot less than what you COULD have done and to ME the fact that you were truthful says alot about your character.
I think he might come around...if he REALLY loves you like he said, he'll be back. Give him a min to see what he is missing...
CL
I still say that it isn't cheating...but this is from the girl who thinks oral sex is not REALLY cheating SO... (not a whole lot anyway
)But you are right Taurusgoddess...if he can't let it go then that's his problem...I mean how can you in your right mind not talk to someone for 3 weeks but think that you are still in a relationship? He just wants something to be mad about because he is probably frustrated that things aren't turning out as he would want them. I mean I wouldn't want my Pisces to kiss any other girl, and it might hurt for a min, but COME ON! We have to be realistic...not idealistic and kissing is a WHOLE lot less than what you COULD have done and to ME the fact that you were truthful says alot about your character.
I think he might come around...if he REALLY loves you like he said, he'll be back. Give him a min to see what he is missing...
CL
Hey taurusgoddess,ask him if he did anything while you guys were apart.It's a really strange funny little coincidence how people who can't trust people can't be trusted.You didn't cheat,why,because he wasn't there,thats not a relationship.He what gave you all your stuff back after he left you out of the blue one night=break up.I will probably be the ONLY scorpio to ever post this,but you get what you dish out when you play stupid mind games they don't "prove" anything.If you want to be with this person tell them,show them,do anything in your power to make sure they know=picking up the freakin phone.If theres fear all the more reason to make sure of it.You act like it's a break up it will be treated like a break up+pain;maybe a little drinky drink something might happen in rebound=duh,theres a very good possibility of something happening,has nothing to do with trust,your not psyhic to know that it's not a perminent break up.And don't worry this one is coming from someone who hasn't cheated in anyway,shape or form posting that it's not cheating.My suggestion if he brings it up again run some of the common sense statements by him.
Tiamat...nope, you're not the only one.
What's good for the goose is good for the gander. I've come to the conclusion that all water signs like control of some measure. And Cancers hate having their words thrown back in their faces.
What's good for the goose is good for the gander. I've come to the conclusion that all water signs like control of some measure. And Cancers hate having their words thrown back in their faces.
"And Cancers hate having their words thrown back in their faces."
I noticed. He just repeated what I did wrong in the relationship, after I would try to explain how I felt hurt by him.
I noticed. He just repeated what I did wrong in the relationship, after I would try to explain how I felt hurt by him.
TOTALLY agreee with Tiamat & Ladydane
You are not psychic...Three weeks is a LONG time to not hear from somebody.
Cancerbuddy,
I can understand what you mean about trust but he TOTALLY ignored her for three weeks! You have to admit that is a while...I am a Cancer too that HAS been cheated on, but I guess it doesn't bother me as much as other people because I don't really EXPECT a man to be completely faithful. Call me pessimistic...I call it realistic and if I loved him enough, I would probably stay with him depending on the severity of the cheating. ie
A random fling = forgivable
Having a girlfriend across town = Totally unforgivable
Then again if I ever get married, I think I would want to be a swinger!
CL
You are not psychic...Three weeks is a LONG time to not hear from somebody.
Cancerbuddy,
I can understand what you mean about trust but he TOTALLY ignored her for three weeks! You have to admit that is a while...I am a Cancer too that HAS been cheated on, but I guess it doesn't bother me as much as other people because I don't really EXPECT a man to be completely faithful. Call me pessimistic...I call it realistic and if I loved him enough, I would probably stay with him depending on the severity of the cheating. ie
A random fling = forgivable
Having a girlfriend across town = Totally unforgivable
Then again if I ever get married, I think I would want to be a swinger!
CL
So I don't know where this leaves me. I don't feel guilty, but I miss him like crazy. I know I would never cheat on him if I knew he was my man. BUT I can't be with someone who thinks I am a cheater. 
I guess somethings you just gotta get over.
Weds - I told him the info
Thurs - Argued on phone
Fri - He left message
Sat - I called
Today - Still haven't heard from him
Tommorow - Think of something else, dammit!!!
I guess somethings you just gotta get over.
Weds - I told him the info
Thurs - Argued on phone
Fri - He left message
Sat - I called
Today - Still haven't heard from him
Tommorow - Think of something else, dammit!!!
Taurusgoddess
Give me his phone number...I'll call him and straighten him out!
http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb008_ZSYYYYYYYYUS' target='_blank'>
Give me his phone number...I'll call him and straighten him out!
http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb008_ZSYYYYYYYYUS' target='_blank'>
haha, you already sound like you'll be an awesome mom.
Shite if only phone calls like that actually worked! thanks CL
Shite if only phone calls like that actually worked! thanks CL
Awww, what a sweetheart for saying so!
Let me know if it works out after all...
Let me know if it works out after all...
Taurus,
I'm a Cancer male and this was exactly how I use to act. I am 24 now, but when I was 21 or so, I would take off on parties and leaving my friends behind. It would be because I was uncomfortable or that I didn't have many people to talk to. I believe he's just not mature enough yet. These days, I still have the urge to take off sometimes, but I no longer do it.
Taurus I believe you really like this guy, and if that's the case, then you should just let everything go. If you want to be with him, just keep thinking that he's mental. We Cancer males do krazy things at times, so just ignore it and keep being your happy self. There's nothing that changes our mood when someone else is happy, we tend to absorb the feelings of those around us. If you're forgiving then we will be too.
One thing I can tell you is that we Cancers are tenacious lovers. If we like someone, we really like them, it's either all or nothng. Even if we do krazy things, there is always love there. If he goes out with you and have a good time, then from my point of view, he really likes you. B/c we don't bother giving time to those we have no interest in.
Hope this helped.
I'm a Cancer male and this was exactly how I use to act. I am 24 now, but when I was 21 or so, I would take off on parties and leaving my friends behind. It would be because I was uncomfortable or that I didn't have many people to talk to. I believe he's just not mature enough yet. These days, I still have the urge to take off sometimes, but I no longer do it.
Taurus I believe you really like this guy, and if that's the case, then you should just let everything go. If you want to be with him, just keep thinking that he's mental. We Cancer males do krazy things at times, so just ignore it and keep being your happy self. There's nothing that changes our mood when someone else is happy, we tend to absorb the feelings of those around us. If you're forgiving then we will be too.
One thing I can tell you is that we Cancers are tenacious lovers. If we like someone, we really like them, it's either all or nothng. Even if we do krazy things, there is always love there. If he goes out with you and have a good time, then from my point of view, he really likes you. B/c we don't bother giving time to those we have no interest in.
Hope this helped.
Thanks Kupo, this guy is 29 and acting like this. But I do know a few things have erupted on his plate making things hard on him right now. I haven't seen him since he got upset but he's called lots. I think I just really need to think about whether I want to deal with that in my life. Emotional yoyo relationship. Even if I'm crazy for him I might be the one crazier to carry this relationship on. Love is more than being crazy for each other. Love must see through all the thick and thin and last. I don't know if we have what it takes. I really don't know. I definately know what I don't want.
I guess that's why you're a Taurus and I'm a Cancer. When it comes to relationships, I try to use my brain but always end up following my heart. Sometimes I wish I was an Earth sign, so there's more stability in my emotions.
I really hate the fact how sun signs dictate how you feel inside. I extremely dislike the fact of having no control on who I am... Maybe this Sun sign stuff is pure jibberish? I certainly hope so.
Good luck with everything, I hope this Cancer man of yours realizes how much of an ass he is being and everything works out between you two. If it doesn't I hope you find a better person.
I really hate the fact how sun signs dictate how you feel inside. I extremely dislike the fact of having no control on who I am... Maybe this Sun sign stuff is pure jibberish? I certainly hope so.
Good luck with everything, I hope this Cancer man of yours realizes how much of an ass he is being and everything works out between you two. If it doesn't I hope you find a better person.
NOOOO
I believe in this relationship...you should too TG....The fact that he is still talking to you is tantamount to him wanting your hot body!
DO NOT GIVE UP! Nothing worth having is EVER easy! He isn't abusive and Kupo is right...we do crazy things sometimes. Even grown ass men, just hang in there and see if you can't work something out. I am rooting for it to work.
I must believe in the fairy-tale! I must live vicariously through you or anyone else having a good relationship.
Cancerlady/CancerMamaDeuce
I believe in this relationship...you should too TG....The fact that he is still talking to you is tantamount to him wanting your hot body!
DO NOT GIVE UP! Nothing worth having is EVER easy! He isn't abusive and Kupo is right...we do crazy things sometimes. Even grown ass men, just hang in there and see if you can't work something out. I am rooting for it to work.
I must believe in the fairy-tale! I must live vicariously through you or anyone else having a good relationship.
Cancerlady/CancerMamaDeuce
I'm a taurus and I just don't know what the hell is up with cancer men! why I am so attracted to them?! my boyfriend is a cancer and we were on and off and then didn't talk or have any sort of communication for a whole year but when I saw him again I was immediately attracted to him, sexy bastard! he came to me and flashed me a sexy smile, got my number, started calling me and we never spoke of what had happened, we only remembered the happy times and boy it's true these cancers have good memory of the past. And I just can't seem to let go and obviously he can't either. Its been like a roller coaster but there we are. We love to go on trips, go camping, go drinking, dancing, together together.
OMG, you are referring to taurus/cancer as a rollercoaster!lol What is with this combo?!! Someone explain this!!!
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@maymaid
Joined: Aug 03, 2005 · Topics: 5 · Posts: 63
Hi everyone
I'm taurus female. I read this scoop and I think it is interesting for taureans. Sign compatibilities are something we look for help when we are hopeless for love. I think other articles on astrology is as interesting as well, like t
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Joined: Aug 03, 2005 · Topics: 5 · Posts: 63
That's my cousin.
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@Daemon
Joined: Apr 04, 2005 · Topics: 53 · Posts: 474
True for some of them I know. I found some cappy female to be dependent. All males I met are boring after a while.
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Joined: Mar 07, 2005 · Topics: 22 · Posts: 294
Enigmanaupe posted a thread/question on this combination, and I wanted to provide my experience with it.
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I'm a Cap. female (age 35) with Cap. merc and Cap. venus also-- Sag. moon. Anyway, I've been involved or dealing with a Cap. male for 9 mont
@CapGirl
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What went thru your head and after minutes or hours went by and something happened that made you say: HOLD UP...I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT THIS AND IT JUST HAPPENED Im going to start with my most recent incident.
Me and my homie was at Mc Donalds,
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@yungbrtha
Joined: Jun 01, 2005 · Topics: 20 · Posts: 49
To sum up myself, my thoughts about me and where my mind is going throughout the day, when i'm having a face to face conversation, telephone conversation, or just sitting around looking you know beeing a Pisces. I finally caught up to my complex mind and
@yungbrtha
Joined: Jun 01, 2005 · Topics: 20 · Posts: 49
hi, glad you came! wander how long it'll take them to find us, hehehe.....
@lizard_scorpio
Joined: Jul 07, 2005 · Topics: 8 · Posts: 2180