Cancerian Male and his silent treatment
This topic was created in the Cancer forum by SoyScorpio on Monday, June 24, 2013 and has 4 replies.
Hello, I am a Scorpio born on Nov 18th. I am dating a guy who is a Cancer born on July 21st. We met online and he live 1:30 hours away from me. most of our conversations takes place over the txt messages. Since the first day I met him, I felt like he was very bad at expressing himself. On top of the his reserve nature, He is an ex-Marine which makes it worse and harder for him to express himself. we have dated for about two months now and I always got the silent treatment from him even though I will be the one who is upset. I am the one always initiating conversations and/or apologizing to him. However, I do like him a lot and if he could communicate and not ignore me, we might have something good here.
About a week or so ago, I got so frustrated that I just wanted to run away so I did not message him first like we usually do every morning, expecting him to care and msg me and ask what was going on, to no surprise, he stayed quiet too and didnt say anything, finally I gave in and messaged him and explain how I felt. He was at that time upset about me putting myself back on the dating site where we had initially met whereas he never took himself off of it (which also bothered me) but he told me from the beginning that he wants me off of it and I was serious about him so I did so but between those two days I was so confused and bored that without any intention of meeting anyone new, I got active on that site again (I know, bad move). So now he makes me feel like I made the gravest mistake and I kept messaging him telling him that I care for him, deleted my profile, but he will not come out and just communicate with me nor would he say if its over and he is done with me. I am so confused and obviously sitting around like an idiot thinking what I should do. I have left him alone after expressing how I felt for him but never apologized ( since I do not think I did n e thing wrong since he was the one driving me crazy with his mood swings and ego and felt like nothing was wrong).
On the side note, I have invited him in my life, introduced him to my closet friends, my family, and treated him like I would someone I really cared for and he knows that. prior to the whole conflict, he told me he " has love for me". obviously he is not in love but he meant he cares and loves for me. I couldnt believe what he just said since his actions so not match his words. hence, my confusion and frustration with the whole this. He had offered me to help, he would clean up with
About a week or so ago, I got so frustrated that I just wanted to run away so I did not message him first like we usually do every morning, expecting him to care and msg me and ask what was going on, to no surprise, he stayed quiet too and didnt say anything, finally I gave in and messaged him and explain how I felt. He was at that time upset about me putting myself back on the dating site where we had initially met whereas he never took himself off of it (which also bothered me) but he told me from the beginning that he wants me off of it and I was serious about him so I did so but between those two days I was so confused and bored that without any intention of meeting anyone new, I got active on that site again (I know, bad move). So now he makes me feel like I made the gravest mistake and I kept messaging him telling him that I care for him, deleted my profile, but he will not come out and just communicate with me nor would he say if its over and he is done with me. I am so confused and obviously sitting around like an idiot thinking what I should do. I have left him alone after expressing how I felt for him but never apologized ( since I do not think I did n e thing wrong since he was the one driving me crazy with his mood swings and ego and felt like nothing was wrong).
On the side note, I have invited him in my life, introduced him to my closet friends, my family, and treated him like I would someone I really cared for and he knows that. prior to the whole conflict, he told me he " has love for me". obviously he is not in love but he meant he cares and loves for me. I couldnt believe what he just said since his actions so not match his words. hence, my confusion and frustration with the whole this. He had offered me to help, he would clean up with
..me and help me take my trash out.
I reach out to him and txted him numerous times but he would not answer. the only thing he says hurt him the most and pissed him off was me putting my profile back on. But, he never took his profile off in the first place; he says thats different going from not using it to using it (him) and me deactivating it and then activating it again...as of now, we are both active on the site and I can see him online on it obviously, may be talking to other people.
I have deleted his number and any way of communicating with him, knowing myself, i will continue to msg him since I like to communicate when there is a problem but him not saying anything is driving me insane. Is is over? Is he thinking? he is in his shell? what is going on? I do not want to keep poking him and bothering him and specially feed into his ego, nor do i think it good for him to treat me like this. is hurtful and very child-like. he was very receptive to meeting people i knew and me telling e v one he is my bf. he acted jealous from time to time. he didnt like me going out with my male friends or going out alot period. he would tell me not to drink unless he is around. I think he cared but why would he act/treat someone he likes with such severe silent treatment when he knows thats what bothers me the most about him. Should I reach out one last time to ask him if its over? it has been a more than couple of days with this crap and I am annoyed. I need closure I guess if its over and if its not, then what should be best for me to do? help! thx
I reach out to him and txted him numerous times but he would not answer. the only thing he says hurt him the most and pissed him off was me putting my profile back on. But, he never took his profile off in the first place; he says thats different going from not using it to using it (him) and me deactivating it and then activating it again...as of now, we are both active on the site and I can see him online on it obviously, may be talking to other people.
I have deleted his number and any way of communicating with him, knowing myself, i will continue to msg him since I like to communicate when there is a problem but him not saying anything is driving me insane. Is is over? Is he thinking? he is in his shell? what is going on? I do not want to keep poking him and bothering him and specially feed into his ego, nor do i think it good for him to treat me like this. is hurtful and very child-like. he was very receptive to meeting people i knew and me telling e v one he is my bf. he acted jealous from time to time. he didnt like me going out with my male friends or going out alot period. he would tell me not to drink unless he is around. I think he cared but why would he act/treat someone he likes with such severe silent treatment when he knows thats what bothers me the most about him. Should I reach out one last time to ask him if its over? it has been a more than couple of days with this crap and I am annoyed. I need closure I guess if its over and if its not, then what should be best for me to do? help! thx
I may be a little bitter by leaving a commment. I myself am going through a similar situation. Just leave him. He seems like he wants to have his cake and eat it too. He may have luv for u but he certainly not treating you like he does. If he did he would not ignore you and avoid the whole situation. He's being a coward. A decent man would never make his woman feel like she is confused, hurt, sad etc... All I'm sayoing is if he is ignoring you that's not good and that's what to be expected in the future if u continue to be with this man. Don't chase him. He should be saying sorry to you. Just do what u feel is right for yourself. IMO I'd say NEXT! This is something that I'm learning with my experiences. keeP it moving if it don't feel right. After you will feel good that you did. I know it did for me.
Take care
Take care
thank you for your input. I have been trying to be distant and now i have no other option since I dnt have his contact info. lol which is a good thing and i agree with you, if he really cared, he would communicate with me. oh well, it is what it is. I hate chasing people for no good reason and I feel it getting better each day. I am not as anxious like before but i do feel like a piece of sh** who is not even worth giving a response too.. this is just wrong. there cant be a good reason for treating someone like dat just cuz you like to "be in your shell" when you are upset. bullsh**!
Good luck to you too!
Good luck to you too!
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