Cancers and

the "Switch"


It's a generalization, but I think love or loving relationships or any kind, mess up the Crab something awful. I hope/think I've personally grown in this area, now armed with a better understanding of how I operate but something that still fascinates me is that Cancerian "switch".

You know... when you're going along and things are open, loving, you're comfortable with no complaints... and then WHAM!!! What is it that hits? Is it reality, a burst of the bubble or what? But when you realize that something is not right and you're not going to take it anymore... a cancer can either cling onto the fragments of their shattering version of a relationship or turn icy cold. The aloof, distancing may not last if you really care for a person... but when my wall goes up the level of detachment frightens me.

example: The Pisces is doing me wrong. 'Wrong' in the sense that he's getting real lazy and complacent and taking advantage of my laid back, affectionate nature. I think the real problem is/was that he thinks he gets emotional exclusivity and forgets that a Crab feeds off of emotional security too and needs to hear and see that love through various actions. The reasons don't matter... lack of effort is unacceptable.

What fascinates me about my Crabby nature is that I shut down, disappeared and have to dig for what the true problem is and not just find something superficial and surface to bitch about. But while I am doing that I go to the worst case scenario emotionally.

This time, in my head, I completely stripped him from my life to see if I could handle it. No backup plan, no cling... just gone. I didn't flip that switch of emotional detachment, but I played with the dimmer.

So Cancers or Cancer lovers what have your 'switch' experiences been like? and what triggers them?

Oh Buddy! I become a true monster when it comes down to not loving a person any longer. and I have tried to worn them but they think that I dont know how to shut off my feelings..I have a Pisces bf and I told him when we first got together that Im a flower and if u dont water me, I will wilt.. and once something is dead it dont come bk. and i told him the other day (I'M WILTING) Because once Im done Im done.. no nothing ...Right now I cant even tell this man I love him.... Men love me, and i have nothing but love to give... I can replace him anytime. So yes i do understand where u are coming from.

I don't know, for me it's just a switch. I can't really explain it because sometimes it builds, and other times it doesn't. It just happens, done. I do know though that once the switch happens, there's no looking back. I surprise the men I've dated because it's so opposite of when we're dating that they aren't used to this 'me.' Not cold, just detached. I'm trying to learn to be more detached in the beginning so I can be more in control, and not get so attached...will help in many areas.

I can honestly say tho that there isn't one man who hasn't come back afterward we are done-done wanting to get back together, but I just can't bring myself to go backwards once I've had the 'switch.' And I guess I know in my heart, if they were someone I loved? They had more chances than a person can shake a stick at.

Posted by ladygoodgurl
I have a Pisces bf and I told him when we first got together that Im a flower and if u dont water me, I will wilt.. and once something is dead it dont come bk. and i told him the other day (I'M WILTING) Because once Im done Im done.. no nothing

haha, great analogy!

I think the Pisces are all somewhere else right now. I gentle or not so gentle reminder is sometimes a good idea 😉

Posted by OceanDeep
I just can't bring myself to go backwards once I've had the 'switch.' And I guess I know in my heart, if they were someone I loved? They had more chances than a person can shake a stick at.

click to expand

lordy, lordy... ain't this the truth!

So nice when you're feeling the crazies and realize you're not alone!!!

For me when the switch happens there is no turning back. You did me wrong SWITCH, you changed SWITCH. Something changed I see if its ok if it's not. SWITCH.


If it is broken no amount of superglue can save that which is broken. I kind of known in the middle which way things go if I do get involved. If it is for the worst I just fade away till nothing is left. And I know I did the right decision because no one comes looking for me. In most cases what else can you do? You know if you stay you will only be putting yourself on the guillotine, and for what?

I did have one instance where I switched from 0 to 550. The man in question tried to manipulate me (Cap) lol fail, twist me inside out, take out my heart and stab it repeatedly with a big knife and then play hacky sack with it and try to give it back to me. He expected me to let him do it again..I hit a Switch with lightening bolts.

Well its usually 0 to 60 but you know I got extra hurt and well that pushed it up a few nots. And Lightening bolts =Zeus lightening shooting out. Tada.


I am a little but if a cancer is not a little kooky there is something seriously wrong with him or her. Don't you think MoonMan?

I can most definitely relate to this. I have had these feelings in my relationships in the past. (it's pretty much inevitable, contributing to the end each time)

As Cancers we can be very hyper-sensitive to what's up and coming. (especially in our relationships) So I often find myself giving the relationship some last ditch efforts (such as talking to the guy, letting him know what the problem is, etc). I think that I am pretty fair, because I rarely leave on a whim or a slight notion.

I can't stand a lazy guy. Pisces is a water sign that I personally couldn't ever see myself dating. They're too 'go with the flow' for me. (almost flaccid)


But I agree - once it's over, it's over. And he better just go quietly, because it's not like he didn't know it was coming.

One time my ex called me up zooted out of her mind and her room mate was in the back acting an asshole. She proceeded to tell me how she almost got pregnant by some dude in our down time when we where broken up previously. For the next 30-45 minutes she told me embarrassing stories and went on intoxicated tirades about people from high school who I couldn't have given 3 fucks about. When we got off the phone I didn't say my customary I love you. The end was upon her. She called me back 5 mins later cause she knew something was up but I played it cool and hid my disgust. Hearing her sound that sloppy confirmed my doubts.

Another time was when I found out my ex had a one night stand on spring break. The glass shattered in my head and I knew that shit was finished!

*sigh* Pisces & Cancers.. we are so much alike in some ways and clueless in others.. I admit the Pisces is probably the more clueless, because we over think things and tend to confuse everything. I met a Cancer man in Feb.. never felt such a connection in my life, but when things go wrong, you feel like you're drowning. An unfortunate weekend.. A month goes by and we started talking and seeing one another again, but it wasn't the same. Not by a long shot, but I chose to ignore it, thinking that he will come back to me.. nope. We have tried to stay just friends.. he is going through something really hard in his life right now, and even though our relationship is strained.. I have tried to be there for him.. I wanted to, because I care. There is soooo much more to this, but it would take forever. He recently sent me a text out of the blue, that he was sorry for using me.. that I was too good of a person to do that too. He confirmed what I already knew.. but my question to him was, if he didn't want me sexually, would he have even come back into my life at all? It's been almost five months since he came back. From all the tension, rejection, and all the f'd up stuff that has happened along the way.. I finally broke over the weekend. I sent him an email straight from the heart.. I let him know I couldn't do this anymore if things don't change. I'm spent. He told me that he doesn't want me to go.. just back off a little. That's not a problem, because I "afraid" to try and initiate contact anymore.. From what I have read on this board over these months trying to understand.. Is there a way back from this? If his "switch" happened in March.. then.. ugh fml lol

^^^Nice read. Mentally stimulating. Are you a writer?

@Moon Man... you're showing your deep wisdom and tender underbelly. Very nice. Do you have a name for this one? a voice perhaps? 😉

ya i have the switch too and it is scary to those who i break my relation with...it puts them through hell!but as you all know,we dont have a choice! if there is no pint in the relation anymore,why keep it and go through all the bullshit emotionally again— no point. *switch* i loved my gemini gf but we were too different.for 2 years after that i tried getting her back,being friends but didnt work so i finally have switched it off now! and now i m pretty much playing the field,flirting like hell these days with a leo! :p i will ask her out soon! 😉

Hey Shellshocker, did you and your Pisces boyfriend work things out?

How is everything?

Posted by ScorpioFish
Hey Shellshocker, did you and your Pisces boyfriend work things out?

How is everything?

Hi Scubs!

Me and my Pisces are good 🙂 thank you