Are Cancers commitmentphobes? I have one that wants to marry me and has been telling me for years, yet never has proposed (said a few years back he was waiting for a creative way to do so). *tapping foot*
Cancers and commitment
I am thinking yes.
Just because someone doesn't commit to you it does not necessarily make them commitment phobes. You may simply not be "The One" for them. People use that term so loosely it's funny.
My first cancer bf was non-commital to me but we were just teenagers. I'm on my second one now and he had no problems with it. He even requested that we commit to each other.
My first cancer bf was non-commital to me but we were just teenagers. I'm on my second one now and he had no problems with it. He even requested that we commit to each other.
I think if he has a gut feeling that it's "right" then it shouldn't be that difficult for him, sorry to be blunt. I go with my gut for everything and I immediately follow that instinct, no sense in waiting because it is almost always 100% correct (at least for me). He may be waiting because he's waiting for that feeling. How long has this been going on?
Cancers want/love committment just like the rest of us, BUT often times their fear of being hurt, vulnerable or played OUTWEIGHS/OVER-SHADOWS their desire to be committed. Doesn't mean that they don't actually want you or the commitment, but moreso that they don't YET feel that it's worth taking the risk, considering they have alot to lose if they get played.
Sorry to bust your bubble, but I think your man's "waiting for a creative way to propose" line is crap. "Years later" & yet NO ring? That's a red flag & an indication that he's just tooting your horn & purposely bringing up the topic of marriage just to hold you over for more years. Actually seems like he's spending more time focusing on & creating ways NOT to marry you. Smh
Sorry to bust your bubble, but I think your man's "waiting for a creative way to propose" line is crap. "Years later" & yet NO ring? That's a red flag & an indication that he's just tooting your horn & purposely bringing up the topic of marriage just to hold you over for more years. Actually seems like he's spending more time focusing on & creating ways NOT to marry you. Smh
Posted by krysrenee7
Cancers want/love committment just like the rest of us, BUT often times their fear of being hurt, vulnerable or played OUTWEIGHS/OVER-SHADOWS their desire to be committed. Doesn't mean that they don't actually want you or the commitment, but moreso that they don't YET feel that it's worth taking the risk, considering they have alot to lose if they get played.
Sorry to bust your bubble, but I think your man's "waiting for a creative way to propose" line is crap. "Years later" & yet NO ring? That's a red flag & an indication that he's just tooting your horn & purposely bringing up the topic of marriage just to hold you over for more years. Actually seems like he's spending more time focusing on & creating ways NOT to marry you. Smh
That could be the case, although he has told his parents (his mother in particular who shared with his father) he wants to marry me and openly talks with his friends about "the wedding" and options - we even have a date (just not a year since he hasn't proposed). And, no, these conversations are not going on behind my back. We're told just not to run off and get married without telling or inviting anyone.
Perhaps I am a commitment phobe....
But I want to commit to someone who understands and trusts me, believes in me and accepts me for who I am.
I want to understand and get to know who he is also. I want to unwrap his package. Slowly and carefully.
A sexy man who likes cuddling, moonlit walks and frequent wild sex and is not afraid to commit.
Someone sturdy who doesn't complain about backaches and physical ailments.
But I want to commit to someone who understands and trusts me, believes in me and accepts me for who I am.
I want to understand and get to know who he is also. I want to unwrap his package. Slowly and carefully.
A sexy man who likes cuddling, moonlit walks and frequent wild sex and is not afraid to commit.
Someone sturdy who doesn't complain about backaches and physical ailments.
I'm having a Libra moment.
Actually that should say, unwrap him like a package. Well both ways is good too.
Not just physically but intellectually and spiritually discovering him.
Actually that should say, unwrap him like a package. Well both ways is good too.
Not just physically but intellectually and spiritually discovering him.
LOL
Shuddup Lion!!!
Shuddup Lion!!!
Posted by LunarMaiden
Perhaps I am a commitment phobe....
But I want to commit to someone who understands and trusts me, believes in me and accepts me for who I am.
I want to understand and get to know who he is also. I want to unwrap his package. Slowly and carefully.
A sexy man who likes cuddling, moonlit walks and frequent wild sex and is not afraid to commit.
Someone sturdy who doesn't complain about backaches and physical ailments.
@lunarmaiden, this is exactly what I would've said myself. You worded it perfectly. Even the "package" blunder is like a Freudian slip, lol.
Posted by LunarMaiden
I'm having a Libra moment .
Actually that should say, unwrap him like a package.
/blockquote>
Posted by seraph
Posted by LunarMaiden
LOL
Shuddup Lion!!!click to expand
Sorry LM, I was thinking the same thing . It's okay....all sorts of packages are nice to unwrap .
Posted by LunarMaiden
Perhaps I am a commitment phobe....
But I want to commit to someone who understands and trusts me, believes in me and accepts me for who I am.
I want to understand and get to know who he is also.....
This doesn't sound like you have an issue with commitment. It sounds like you know what you want and you are willing to wait until you find the things that will make you happy. Just my
Posted by lildol
Are Cancers commitmentphobes? I have one that wants to marry me and has been telling me for years, yet never has proposed (said a few years back he was waiting for a creative way to do so). *tapping foot*
I should think, after years of togetherness, that your Cancer partner ought to know you well enough. Cancerians, speaking for myself, are not commitmentphobes. Marrying is not the most important thing, though. I personally don't like making promises I can't keep. Word and bond, and all that. Apart from the not-being-married bit, is your relationship solid.
I have friends who had been together for 20 years before they got married. They have chidren, too. The only reason they got married was to make it easier for one or the other, when either one dies. Transfer of property and kids inheritance stuff. They didn't need to be married to be sure of their commitment.
Are you not already a commited pair. What would a piece of paper do to change that. If it is very important that you become a wife on paper, do you already have your futures and plans firmly set together. I don't do casual. When I'm in it, I'm in it. The thought of trying it for a while never occurs to me. Maybe your guy is already married in spirit.
If he's looking out for you and sees that it's that important to you, I can't really see what his objections would be.
Are you just really comfy as it is.
No caners are not commitephobes but it takes them a very long time to make a major step. Unless you have patience dont mess with a cancer. It's just how we are unless we are in lust then its a little faster at least to us. Not to the outside world. though.
Why dont you propose? Nothing wrong with that if he wants to commit to you and has not found a good way for him?
Why dont you propose? Nothing wrong with that if he wants to commit to you and has not found a good way for him?
Posted by PhoenixRisingPosted by LunarMaiden
Perhaps I am a commitment phobe....
But I want to commit to someone who understands and trusts me, believes in me and accepts me for who I am.
I want to understand and get to know who he is also.....
This doesn't sound like you have an issue with commitment. It sounds like you know what you want and you are willing to wait until you find the things that will make you happy. Just myclick to expand
Yes absolutely. Thank you 🙂
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