Cancers and placation
This topic was created in the Cancer forum by pnokio on Thursday, March 15, 2012 and has 7 replies.
Hello my crustaceans
I have a question for you all. How do you feel when people placate you after the fact in an attempt to get back in your good graces?
The reason why I ask this is because for like the last two weeks I have been going through hell with work school, life etc, and people have blown me off
left and right , I felt like no one gave a damn, seriously. I bend over backwards for the people around and I don't make them wait either. It just irritates me that people think that they can screw me over and then come waltzing back as if I am just suppose to be cool with it. When this happen I usually just break all ties and move on and leave them to figure it out, typical cancer I know but its what I do.
So how do you deal with this uneasy period when the ones around you take it for granted?
I have a question for you all. How do you feel when people placate you after the fact in an attempt to get back in your good graces?
The reason why I ask this is because for like the last two weeks I have been going through hell with work school, life etc, and people have blown me off
left and right , I felt like no one gave a damn, seriously. I bend over backwards for the people around and I don't make them wait either. It just irritates me that people think that they can screw me over and then come waltzing back as if I am just suppose to be cool with it. When this happen I usually just break all ties and move on and leave them to figure it out, typical cancer I know but its what I do.So how do you deal with this uneasy period when the ones around you take it for granted?
Signed Up: Sep 10, 2010
Comments: 0 · Posts: 4684 · Topics: 51
Comments: 0 · Posts: 4684 · Topics: 51
Well sad fact is there ARE people who rock around in their own world who don't give a flying fuck about anyone except themselves.
Which is frustrating when you are person who does genuinely care about others.
It used to bother me until finally (I am Aries slow learner - but heavily afflicted with Cancer) I worked out that no one gave a shit about me because that is what they are like.
It is nothing I have done (I had done a lot for some people who turned around and crapped all over me.) It has nothing to do with me.
So TRY not to take it personally and look after the people who look after you and everyone else can go to hell.
Don't waste time or effort on people who just want to use you up and spit you out.
It's almost like some people are born with an obnoxious "Well here I am - what can you do for me attitude."
We need to stamp them out, stop them breeding.
Which is frustrating when you are person who does genuinely care about others.
It used to bother me until finally (I am Aries slow learner - but heavily afflicted with Cancer) I worked out that no one gave a shit about me because that is what they are like.
It is nothing I have done (I had done a lot for some people who turned around and crapped all over me.) It has nothing to do with me.
So TRY not to take it personally and look after the people who look after you and everyone else can go to hell.
Don't waste time or effort on people who just want to use you up and spit you out.
It's almost like some people are born with an obnoxious "Well here I am - what can you do for me attitude."
We need to stamp them out, stop them breeding.
Signed Up: Sep 10, 2010
Comments: 0 · Posts: 4684 · Topics: 51
Comments: 0 · Posts: 4684 · Topics: 51
My brother and I came up with this very fine saying:
"It is unwise to assume that everyone's intentions are as good as yours."
I think it was worded a bit more profoundly at the time but that was the guts of it.
"It is unwise to assume that everyone's intentions are as good as yours."
I think it was worded a bit more profoundly at the time but that was the guts of it.
Thanks for the input guys I really appreciate hearing your opinions on this, it's good to make sure that I am looking a situation from every possible angle so that I don't misread a person and act in haste.
Signed Up: Sep 10, 2010
Comments: 0 · Posts: 4684 · Topics: 51
Comments: 0 · Posts: 4684 · Topics: 51
I was quite stunned when I finally figured out that most people DON'T look at a situation from everyone else's angle before doing something!!!
I guess "normal" people just think "hey - what's in it for me?" and proceed on that basis.
Learn this now Pnokio and don't waste your life like me.
I guess "normal" people just think "hey - what's in it for me?" and proceed on that basis.
Learn this now Pnokio and don't waste your life like me.
Posted by pnokio
Hello my crustaceans
I have a question for you all. How do you feel when people placate you after the fact in an attempt to get back in your good graces?
The reason why I ask this is because for like the last two weeks I have been going through hell with work school, life etc, and people have blown me off
So how do you deal with this uneasy period when the ones around you take it for granted?
did you ask for help? my cancer gf feels the same way sometimes, like noone is around to help or cares. first off, she doesnt ask for help. second point is, she does not show genuine appreciation when she does get help. shell say thank you and give hugs, but strangers can express that much gratitude to each other. for instance, one of her customers sent her a nice chunk of money around christmas so her kids could have a nice one. my gf waited until she saw this customer months later to thank her for the money. i thought that was rude.
Yea I asked for help and that was the crazy thing about it no one gave a damn , as far as gratitude I work off the principle of balanced reciprocity , you help me and best believe I make sure to return he gesture with interest. I have a deep seeded obligation to repay anyone that helps me when I am in a bind.
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