Cancers: Has Your Heart Been Totally Free?
This topic was created in the Cancer forum by Este8 on Wednesday, May 8, 2013 and has 7 replies.
Hi Fellow Cancers,
I asked this question on the pisces board because my experience with pisces is that they are more freedom loving than us crabbies and I welcome their different take on life. But I also want to know what "my homies" in the sign think. Speaking from your own experiences, have you been single and found yourself longing for a ex or "the one that got away?" I have a theory and it could be wrong which is why I'm asking for your honest feedback. My theory is that the heart does not want to be completely free and unencumbered. In my own romantic past I can hardly remember a time being single when I wasn't pining for someone. With some fullness of age, I've come to see that in myself as nurturing a fantasy to keep me warm while waiting for the real thing. But I wonder does the heart always want to have someone to cherish? Thanks in advance for all responses!
I asked this question on the pisces board because my experience with pisces is that they are more freedom loving than us crabbies and I welcome their different take on life. But I also want to know what "my homies" in the sign think. Speaking from your own experiences, have you been single and found yourself longing for a ex or "the one that got away?" I have a theory and it could be wrong which is why I'm asking for your honest feedback. My theory is that the heart does not want to be completely free and unencumbered. In my own romantic past I can hardly remember a time being single when I wasn't pining for someone. With some fullness of age, I've come to see that in myself as nurturing a fantasy to keep me warm while waiting for the real thing. But I wonder does the heart always want to have someone to cherish? Thanks in advance for all responses!
yeah its never free... lately i have come to terms about loving my singledom though...but nothing like a romance! 
Hi,
I have never felt the desire to contact my exes back and feel pretty good on my own.
There might be more of an age factor though , I am quite young so I am pretty optimistic about meeting the "one" someday.
I have never felt the desire to contact my exes back and feel pretty good on my own.
There might be more of an age factor though , I am quite young so I am pretty optimistic about meeting the "one" someday.
Crustacea: Not many people would be that honest about who they are and what they're looking for in a rela, so I applaud you for your courage.
Krebbsman: Thanks for being the only person so far who has expressed having those feelings. It's not like I am unhappy being single but I have noticed that there's a big part of my heart that still wants to serve and be in rela. So when I'm single I start thinking about the past, with fondness.
Mamamaia: In my case, I can def. remember pining in my youth. In fact, I pined alot harder then. You're just a Cancer whose got her act together better. Hats off! Keep that gaze moving forward!
XMoonMan: In the little time I've been reading your posts, your response does not come as a surprise. You strike me as a very independent fellow.
Thanks to all who took the time to respond!
Krebbsman: Thanks for being the only person so far who has expressed having those feelings. It's not like I am unhappy being single but I have noticed that there's a big part of my heart that still wants to serve and be in rela. So when I'm single I start thinking about the past, with fondness.
Mamamaia: In my case, I can def. remember pining in my youth. In fact, I pined alot harder then. You're just a Cancer whose got her act together better. Hats off! Keep that gaze moving forward!
XMoonMan: In the little time I've been reading your posts, your response does not come as a surprise. You strike me as a very independent fellow.
Thanks to all who took the time to respond!
XMoonMan, I have grown through the years and yeah my view on life and desires have changed over time, for the better hopefully. My friends in particular have been my life line thru a painful break up and their love and support has been crucial. I don't know how I would have gotten through it all without them. I do think we're social animals and that we need some kind of love & connection. But we're also complicated human beings and to quote Stevie Nicks, "Love's a hard game to play." Only it seems like when you find the right partner and are in the right place, it's not that hard. What I've learned about love from my own experiences is that the more I struggle and feel uncertain, the more it's an indication that the rela is doomed. The ones that go smoothly are the ones that stick because we're on the same page. In a way, it's kind of like that cliche, "what is yours will come to you." I think when a rela is right, it flows and carries you along. I'm single and sometimes I feel lonely. Last week we had a lunar eclipse and boy did I pull out the hanky several times. It was good and cathartic and I didn't make the mistake of going back to an ex who never would have worked out even tho I had a moment's indecision. Breaking up is a process and I've only been single since September. This was a 9 year relationship and it takes me some real time to get over it, even tho I was the one to call time on it. Just because you're the one to leave, doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. It's hard being so emotional but at least I feel deeply. I just hope my path will cross with a nice man and that this time it will be good for both of us. It's spring and hope springs eternal!
yeah it will este... from june 26 its all bright! have faith! it must be so damn hard for you... 9 years! wow! i had a 3 month courtship and i m still reeling from it.... we will be good! love always hits us when we are down...one door closes other will open! just need to believe..and dont go back to the past... that lunar eclipse was horrible but i guesss even i stood ground. i know we change our minds from time to time about a person but once we have taken a decision we need to honour it. however big the temptation! only when we can let go of the past the present and the future will embrace us. it will be brighter than the past surely....
Thanks for the kind words of encouragement krebbsman. It was an odd sensation as I hadn't felt that torn about him since I exited the relationship in September. But I've moved beyond that now and am in a much better place. I was really miserable the last 2 years but he was disabled with health issues and I didn't feel I could leave him. Plus there were bipolar issues and when he got angry, "there she blows!" So yeah, I do know there's no going back there. It's funny how the mind can play games on you. That's why nostalgia isn't real. We look back with rose colored glasses and forget all the bad stuff. I think opening up this discussion was really good for me as well. I don't tend to show my soft under belly and admitting something like this is definitely a stretch for me. But I figure if I read and respond to other people's war stories I should be willing to share something of my own. Again, thanks so much for responding so compassionately to my email and for sharing you too have experienced the same thing I have. It's nice to know I'm not the only one who feels this way. And yeah, I'm totally looking forward to Jupiter making it to Cancer!! Here's hoping the planet of good fortune and abundance lifts the boats of every Cancer out there. I have a feeling it's been a hard couple years for us crabbies.
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