Cancers, letting go and endings

This topic was created in the Cancer forum by carrazeda on Wednesday, August 9, 2017 and has 18 replies.
Why is it so hard for us cancers to let go? Why do we m have the need to bring everything and everyone with us across our lives? Do others here also message friends they haven't seen in five/ten years, just to say and ask how they are? Do you also remember every single person with whom you connected and wished they were still with you? I'm talking about friends, family, lovers. Why do we have such a hard time with endings?
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Posted by exo
why do y'all get so defensive?


why do y'all play the victim?


why do y'all low key stalk us?


?
We low key stalk because we like you and always work in sideways! Most cancers are naturally insecure but simultaneously very proud of our ideas. From there to get defensive is just a small step! I don't play the victim but you might be hinting emotional manipulation. That's the hallmark of a cancer. It's our weapon..
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I dunno, but I've never really had this issue. Venus Gemini solutions?
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Posted by SentimentalCrabby
I didn't think Cancer's stalk people?


I guess I am one of the few Cancer's that doesn't stalk, once you done me wrong and you're out of mind & out of sight. Bye biiitch, you got no room in my heart & my mind. You're just a fragrant of my memories & just a stranger I used to know.


There's so much disinterest.


Cancer's give & give so much, & put a lot of effort, it just got to the point you wouldn't waste your valuable time anymore & think of them.


I don't miss the past lovers' cause I surely don't miss the headaches I got from them.


I only miss family & friends' I'll check up on them.

I'm pretty good at detaching emotionally also, it happened with a few friends or family. When that happens they are dead cold to me. Fortunately it doesn't happen a lot.


It's not about missing people. Especially lovers. I don't want to go back to any of them (and one is still trying hard). But you know that when I'm going through a break-up my main concern is to stay friends? None of them did anything wrong so that helps. Maybe because of what you said We put a lot of effort and give a lot, and I value that.
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Posted by exo
Posted by CaramelizedCoffee
Posted by exo
Posted by CaramelizedCoffee
Posted by exo
why do y'all get so defensive?


why do y'all play the victim?


why do y'all low key stalk us?


?
Stalk who?
your potential friends or lovers! Tongue

I blame my Scorpio rising not my crab sun

i blame my cancer jupiter for all weird behaviour.

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To be honest with me it might be the gemini moon. And it's not really stalking. I think it's worse. It's trying to know everything single about everything. Like in the office we have an internal system where work emails are published for archive and to share with other team members. If I have time, or if I don't stop myself, my irrational behaviour is to check every email published there. (Remember they are work emails, not personal or private).

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You all just love to push people away because of the many insecurities you possess and then play the victim card which is also the "I'm sad" card.
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Posted by CaramelizedCoffee
Posted by Orchidee
You all just love to push people away because of the many insecurities you possess and then play the victim card which is also the "I'm sad" card.
and you need to get off our fuking nuts, when you start saying something positive about cancers you can come back to our board.


sheez fuking little hater.
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Was I wrong though?


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Posted by carrazeda
Why is it so hard for us cancers to let go? Why do we m have the need to bring everything and everyone with us across our lives? Do others here also message friends they haven't seen in five/ten years, just to say and ask how they are? Do you also remember every single person with whom you connected and wished they were still with you? I'm talking about friends, family, lovers. Why do we have such a hard time with endings?
I know a Cancer with Gemini moon and he was the epitome of emotional. I'm not putting down what he did. Just writing down his behaviour. He would get teary eyed if someone showed him kindness or a thoughtful gesture. He would constantly reminisce about people close to him from his past. It seemed like he was always ruminating about the past. He would talk about people from his past to other people. Many tales to be shared. Any card or present I gave him, he kept as a memento. In fact I gave a present for his wife. Instead of giving her the present, he kept it himself as a keepsake. I wrote "You're my bestest friend ever" on an old newspaper one time when we were out for lunch. He ripped that part and kept it. He kept every little thing. One day he showed me all the mementos he had accumulated over time. I told him to collect moments, not things. He took my advice and made beautiful moments with me, but he couldn't dispose of his habit of collecting things that captured that moment.


What a beautiful sentimental personality.


I guess he ended up falling too deep for me that he had to distance himself. He dropped me and I commend him for doing that because he took charge of his feelings. That was his way of keeping away from temptation. I know people will find that heartless for a Cancer, but they do that to protect their feelings. I knew he was going to leave this friendship by the way he was collecting things for later to reminisce with. I know he misses me and looks at those things and it was proven by the fact that he recently reached out to me after 5 months of no contact. I told him I understand why he did what he did. He got all happy and wants to see me. It's a matter of reaching out to old friends.

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Posted by Orchidee
Posted by carrazeda
Why is it so hard for us cancers to let go? Why do we m have the need to bring everything and everyone with us across our lives? Do others here also message friends they haven't seen in five/ten years, just to say and ask how they are? Do you also remember every single person with whom you connected and wished they were still with you? I'm talking about friends, family, lovers. Why do we have such a hard time with endings?
I know a Cancer with Gemini moon and he was the epitome of emotional. I'm not putting down what he did. Just writing down his behaviour. He would get teary eyed if someone showed him kindness or a thoughtful gesture. He would constantly reminisce about people close to him from his past. It seemed like he was always ruminating about the past. He would talk about people from his past to other people. Many tales to be shared. Any card or present I gave him, he kept as a memento. In fact I gave a present for his wife. Instead of giving her the present, he kept it himself as a keepsake. I wrote "You're my bestest friend ever" on an old newspaper one time when we were out for lunch. He ripped that part and kept it. He kept every little thing. One day he showed me all the mementos he had accumulated over time. I told him to collect moments, not things. He took my advice and made beautiful moments with me, but he couldn't dispose of his habit of collecting things that captured that moment.


What a beautiful sentimental personality.


I guess he ended up falling too deep for me that he had to distance himself. He dropped me and I commend him for doing that because he took charge of his feelings. That was his way of keeping away from temptation. I know people will find that heartless for a Cancer, but they do that to protect their feelings. I knew he was going to leave this friendship by the way he was collecting things for later to reminisce with. I know he misses me and looks at those things and it was proven by the fact that he recently reached out to me after 5 months of no contact. I told him I understand why he did what he did. He got all happy and wants to see me. It's a matter of reaching out to old friends.

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I do like to keep things. Although I'm not organised enough to keep it consistent, and if the emotional attachment is too big I'll end throwing them away. If your is like he might as well throwing them away. Reason: too many emotions to handle. The gemini is actually quite detached and doesn't know how to deal with the cancer emotions. I honestly too many times don't trust my emotions. I just throw them away or wait for the dust to settle. What your friend is very brave and hard for a cancer to do. But he will never let you go entirely, that's why he is reaching to you now. I wonder he will deal with it. He might find it too difficult for him and take a much longer break after this meeting.


A few years I've lived with another cancer sun gemini moon. She also leo venus like me. (Funny or not she was a previous gf of my gf of that time) She was very emotional. But she would move very quickly from emotion to emotion. Maybe because both my parents are cap and very emotionless if I'm balanced I never had much ups and downs. I've accused of being too plain, rigid and cold!
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I've never really missed people in my life but I've noticed I can't let go of the past. It's unbelievable how attached I am to all my childhood memories, experiences in high school and stuff like that. I can't let go of that and I feel nostalgic that I will never live those moments again ?

Right now I'm struggling with getting older. I wish I was a girl and have a life ahead of me. I feel like Peter Pan sometimes. Hahaha ? I just wish I was a school girl again that played with her friends at recess instead of worrying about adult responsibilities ???
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Let cancers be a mystery to you ..you are not meant to understand us smile
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Posted by carrazeda
Posted by Orchidee
Posted by carrazeda
Why is it so hard for us cancers to let go? Why do we m have the need to bring everything and everyone with us across our lives? Do others here also message friends they haven't seen in five/ten years, just to say and ask how they are? Do you also remember every single person with whom you connected and wished they were still with you? I'm talking about friends, family, lovers. Why do we have such a hard time with endings?
I know a Cancer with Gemini moon and he was the epitome of emotional. I'm not putting down what he did. Just writing down his behaviour. He would get teary eyed if someone showed him kindness or a thoughtful gesture. He would constantly reminisce about people close to him from his past. It seemed like he was always ruminating about the past. He would talk about people from his past to other people. Many tales to be shared. Any card or present I gave him, he kept as a memento. In fact I gave a present for his wife. Instead of giving her the present, he kept it himself as a keepsake. I wrote "You're my bestest friend ever" on an old newspaper one time when we were out for lunch. He ripped that part and kept it. He kept every little thing. One day he showed me all the mementos he had accumulated over time. I told him to collect moments, not things. He took my advice and made beautiful moments with me, but he couldn't dispose of his habit of collecting things that captured that moment.


What a beautiful sentimental personality.


I guess he ended up falling too deep for me that he had to distance himself. He dropped me and I commend him for doing that because he took charge of his feelings. That was his way of keeping away from temptation. I know people will find that heartless for a Cancer, but they do that to protect their feelings. I knew he was going to leave this friendship by the way he was collecting things for later to reminisce with. I know he misses me and looks at those things and it was proven by the fact that he recently reached out to me after 5 months of no contact. I told him I understand why he did what he did. He got all happy and wants to see me. It's a matter of reaching out to old friends.

But he will never let you go entirely, that's why he is reaching to you now.He might find it too difficult for him and take a much longer break after this meeting.

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Whether or not he wants to let me go entirely is not up to him. He let my friendship go once. I don't hold people prisoners in my life. You are welcome to come and go as you please. However, if you leave me once, returning back in my life is my decision.


You don't fluctuate any relationship in life based on your moods. Ain't nobody got time for that annoyance. A person that maintains their relationship with others based on their mood comes across as a user or a fairweather friend. Who wants that anyway? Maybe someone with a low self-esteem or a masochist.

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Posted by carrazeda
Why is it so hard for us cancers to let go? Why do we m have the need to bring everything and everyone with us across our lives? Do others here also message friends they haven't seen in five/ten years, just to say and ask how they are? Do you also remember every single person with whom you connected and wished they were still with you? I'm talking about friends, family, lovers. Why do we have such a hard time with endings?
It really depends on how deep my feelings go for someone. I have been known to cut off people I was casually dating pretty quickly and with great finality and never look back. But if I love you it's much harder.


I cut my father off after several attempts to reconcile because he continues to exhibit the same behaviors I can't be around. I still love him, I still think about him from time to time and I accept who he chooses to be but I don't want him in my life.


Just today I walked up to a person that I cut off two years ago (because I thought it was best for both of us at the time) and apologized. And yes, I low key stalked him for those two years...but in fairness he low key stalked me too and he's not a Cancer.


We love hard.
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I don't ever let go, not ever.


As far as I am concerned I am still dating every man who ever put his penis in me.


It's not stalking if they reply sometimes Sad

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I'm new here so hello all. In my opinion Cancerians have a difficult time lettin go because for some of us the past is all we have left. Sometimes we get a glimpse or what I like to call a tease of happiness and then it flickers away. So we might look to the past too hard thinking about that best friend or the one that got away as far as relationships go. It's not healthy in the long run especially when you're severely stunted in life. People out there living their lives, no use in you trying to hold on to them knowing that it can never be how it was originally.
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Posted by tnmnt
Cancers can be quite hypocritical with their attachment. eg they could get nostalgic about someone who mistreated them but forget completely about someone who has always done them good but that was not "cool enough" for them.


Attachment to the past (and to the dead) is a childish feature. Letting go and moving on are key lessons to learn.


Mindfulness helps. Stoicism helps. Epicurus' Letter to Menoeceus has been for me useful to change perspective about some things.
This is spot on!! Really intuitive, excellent response.
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do they only low key stalk sideways coz they like you as in a crush or do they do this to friends as well making it impossible to know if they like you?
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As stated in one of the other posts, we stalk because we like you. If I'm interested in a person I want to know everything about them not just for enjoyment butthey could be hiding something so if I'm taking all this time to have anything to do with you then I own you. I have copy rights and patent and there is nothing you can do about it.
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