Cancers & Sex
This topic was created in the Cancer forum by sinder on Tuesday, August 19, 2008 and has 13 replies.
My cancer guy says that I have upset him so now we haven't been intimate in over a week. He is punishing me for upsetting him by withdrawing his intimacy. I am hurt mad and confused. Is this common for most cancer guys to do this?
btw- he is upset at me because he joined a website of photography and is networkiung with models and he made comments like "you are perfect" etc...on their photos. most of these women are butt naked. I told him i am upset and he says he is furious at me for looking at what he writes to people to "network" his side photo biz.
btw- he is upset at me because he joined a website of photography and is networkiung with models and he made comments like "you are perfect" etc...on their photos. most of these women are butt naked. I told him i am upset and he says he is furious at me for looking at what he writes to people to "network" his side photo biz.
well greatbull.
first of all thanks for taking a minute to look at my plights..............
so does that tactic work for your friend? I know its a guy thing to look at girls pic.human nature but it feels disrepectful when i see the comments. no woman wants to see their man communicating to a butt naked chick on line and possibly go take their picture on top of it? geez.......and he is mad at me???!!!???
the site is modelmayhem. their are good portfolios of legit photographers/models and also stuff that I think is people going into the porn industry.
if you have time take a a look at it and give your thoughts from a guys perspective. i am trying to be understanding but i am not an idiot.
first of all thanks for taking a minute to look at my plights..............
so does that tactic work for your friend? I know its a guy thing to look at girls pic.human nature but it feels disrepectful when i see the comments. no woman wants to see their man communicating to a butt naked chick on line and possibly go take their picture on top of it? geez.......and he is mad at me???!!!???
the site is modelmayhem. their are good portfolios of legit photographers/models and also stuff that I think is people going into the porn industry.
if you have time take a a look at it and give your thoughts from a guys perspective. i am trying to be understanding but i am not an idiot.
Sinder... my bull.. loves looking at women. He loves the whole BIG BUTT thing, and well i don't have what he really likes. So what i have tried and actually enjoy now, is we look at stuff together. This removes my insecurity.. i know he loves me period.. and i know he just enjoys looking and seein' them big ol' butts. So we do this together and it has really opened us up and he shares so much more with me in alot more areas. i don't know if i make sense, but a man's gonna look.
I think the see women so much more differently then we see men that we are just looking at. a prime example.... look at the woman that Luke Campbell is marrying.. he is like the one that put big booty chicks on the map. He is marrying a lawyer, and she has NO ASS. just cuz they like to look doesn't mean that makes the woman for them.
k i'll stop babbling...
I think the see women so much more differently then we see men that we are just looking at. a prime example.... look at the woman that Luke Campbell is marrying.. he is like the one that put big booty chicks on the map. He is marrying a lawyer, and she has NO ASS. just cuz they like to look doesn't mean that makes the woman for them.
k i'll stop babbling...
It is a tactic... he got busted. It is not only a Cancer thing it is a man thing... or even a human thing. "Give an inch and take a yard" kinda thing.
"i am trying to be understanding but i am not an idiot."
I understand how you feel... you don't want to come across too pushy... but if it bothers you, stand your ground. He will only continue if he sees that you dimiss his behaviour. You are lying to yourself by allowing him to do it just to keep peace but inside it kills you to see him continuing to make these remarks and comments.
Cancers sometimes withdraw to see how you will react. He knows you are upset because of soemthing HE did... in this situation he is therefore withdrawing to test whether you will dismiss it or will continue to allow it to upset you until he make amends in his behaviour. If you dismiss it, expect for the behaviour to go on, but if you stand your ground until he respects your feelings then I am sure he will be more careful making those remarks again.
"i am trying to be understanding but i am not an idiot."
I understand how you feel... you don't want to come across too pushy... but if it bothers you, stand your ground. He will only continue if he sees that you dimiss his behaviour. You are lying to yourself by allowing him to do it just to keep peace but inside it kills you to see him continuing to make these remarks and comments.
Cancers sometimes withdraw to see how you will react. He knows you are upset because of soemthing HE did... in this situation he is therefore withdrawing to test whether you will dismiss it or will continue to allow it to upset you until he make amends in his behaviour. If you dismiss it, expect for the behaviour to go on, but if you stand your ground until he respects your feelings then I am sure he will be more careful making those remarks again.
Good point Baby... if you can't beat them, then join them. 
cancers love to flip shitiit around. it's infuriating because they are so good at it. you just have to remember to stand your ground, they easily second guess themselves, therefore can make others do the same. you have every right to be upset, for your own reasons and also for the fact that if YOU did something like that.....well, you can fill in the rest. good luck!
i told him that it is over and i cannot tolerate the website he joined and he should be saying those things to me.
all he says is ok, i will call you later, after work.
all he says is ok, i will call you later, after work.
Sadly she is doing what most women do... hanging on to some hope that he will improve. I can relate.
Sinder this is an email that I received:
In a brief conversation, a man asked a woman he was pursuing the question......
"What kind of man are you looking for?"
She sat quietly for a moment before looking him in the eye and asking.
"Do you really want to know?"
Reluctantly, he said, "Yes."
She began to expound... As a woman in this day and age, I am in a position to
ask a man what he can do for me that I can't do for myself. I pay my own bills.
I take care of my household without the help of any man. I am in the position to
ask, "What can you bring to the table?"
The man looked at her. Clearly he thought that she was referring to money.
She quickly corrected his thought and stated, "I am not referring to money. I
need something more." I need a man who is striving for perfection in every
aspect of life." He sat back in his chair, folded his arms, and asked her to
explain.
She said, " I am looking for someone who is striving for perfection mentally
because I need conversation and mental stimulation. I don't need a simple-minded
man. I am looking for someone who is striving for perfection spiritually
because I don't need to be unequally yoked... believers mixed with unbelievers
is a recipe for disaster. I need a man who is striving for perfection
financially because I don't need a financial burden, I need a man that can hold his own. I am looking for someone who is sensitive enough to understand what I go through as a woman, but strong enough to keep me grounded. I am looking for someone who I can respect. In order to be submissive, I must respect him. I cannot be submissive to a man who isn't
taking care of his business. I have no problem being submissive...he just has to
be worthy. God made woman to be a helpmate for man. I can't help a man if he
can't help himself.?
When she finished her spill, she looked at him. He sat there
with a puzzled look on his face.
He said, "You're asking a lot."
She replied, "I'm worth a lot."
In a brief conversation, a man asked a woman he was pursuing the question......
"What kind of man are you looking for?"
She sat quietly for a moment before looking him in the eye and asking.
"Do you really want to know?"
Reluctantly, he said, "Yes."
She began to expound... As a woman in this day and age, I am in a position to
ask a man what he can do for me that I can't do for myself. I pay my own bills.
I take care of my household without the help of any man. I am in the position to
ask, "What can you bring to the table?"
The man looked at her. Clearly he thought that she was referring to money.
She quickly corrected his thought and stated, "I am not referring to money. I
need something more." I need a man who is striving for perfection in every
aspect of life." He sat back in his chair, folded his arms, and asked her to
explain.
She said, " I am looking for someone who is striving for perfection mentally
because I need conversation and mental stimulation. I don't need a simple-minded
man. I am looking for someone who is striving for perfection spiritually
because I don't need to be unequally yoked... believers mixed with unbelievers
is a recipe for disaster. I need a man who is striving for perfection
financially because I don't need a financial burden, I need a man that can hold his own. I am looking for someone who is sensitive enough to understand what I go through as a woman, but strong enough to keep me grounded. I am looking for someone who I can respect. In order to be submissive, I must respect him. I cannot be submissive to a man who isn't
taking care of his business. I have no problem being submissive...he just has to
be worthy. God made woman to be a helpmate for man. I can't help a man if he
can't help himself.?
When she finished her spill, she looked at him. He sat there
with a puzzled look on his face.
He said, "You're asking a lot."
She replied, "I'm worth a lot."
oooh I like...Im worth a lot. But as much as she may be worth, was she perfection in all of the areas she was asking? And even sometimes 2 perfect people dont go together because thats simply not where they belong. I dont think you should leave the guy because he gives compliments. I think you should face the insecurity that you have head on and face his withdraw head on because I feel like those are the key issues that are a detriment to the relationship. Men in general are going to look and we as women need to 1 be able to handle it and 2 be honest with our men about our insecurities. My Cancer object of affection has always been really helpful in listening and offering wonderful insight into my insecurities when I share them with him.
I agree sweets... somethings just need to be over looked. Given the fact that men will be men. Of course disrespect should never be accepted... but those insecurites should be expressed. Please remember that with a Crab... it should never be in a confrontational are argumentative way, which will only cause them to shut down.
Absolutly not Sweets... no one is perfect and no one should expect someone perfect. But I think the story is more about wanting more than the tangible things in life. Also, to learn to never give up or give in by lowering your standards just to say you have a man when in fact you really don't need one.
Absolutly not Sweets... no one is perfect and no one should expect someone perfect. But I think the story is more about wanting more than the tangible things in life. Also, to learn to never give up or give in by lowering your standards just to say you have a man when in fact you really don't need one.
"Cancers & Sex" is delightful! 
PD
PD
lol Pisces, thats to the point.
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