Confused!

This topic was created in the Cancer forum by Piscesgirl90 on Sunday, July 26, 2015 and has 8 replies.
Hi there! I just signed up on here after spending the past few days reading some very insightful posts on here about the zodiac and cancer men. So I would like to post my question and hopefully get some feedback. I would really appreciate any advice or help I could get! Also sorry in advance for a long post.
Ok so I have a female best friend who I've known for a bit over 5 years now. Well since I met her I have always had an attraction to her brother and I think the feeling is mutual. However both him and I being incredibly shy neither of us ever really spoke to each other. Not only would he stay shut in his room whenever I was over but if he did walk out he would basically run past me while saying hi and by the time I said it back he was already 10 feet away! smile about a year after I met my friend and her brother I got into a relationship. So for the past 4 years I was with this same guy. Well things ended between him and I 2 months ago. Knowing I was interested in at least being friends with her brother (we literally share all common interests) she gave him my phone number....well to my surprise he texted me the same evening she gave him my number! We chatted a bit, he wasn't very talkative and never seemed to ask me any questions. It was as if I would ask him his his day was and had respond but not ask back. This went on for a bit over a month, I'd text him just to ask how he was ever few days and we'd text back and forth for a bit then he would go silent. So I'd stop and give him space for a few days. Then I asked my friend if he had mentioned to her that he did not like me cause he didn't seem too open to talking or hanging out. She said he is painfully shy, which I know, and that he has very low self esteem and has said that he doesn't see why I would have any sort of attraction towards him. She said maybe I should stop texting him and see if he reaches out at all. So I didn't text him for a week and 2 days, then I finally broke down and texted him. He responded immediately and asked me a bunch of questions! How I was doing and such.
I'll try to wrap this up smile last night it got kind of strange and I'm having a really hard time figuring out what he meant. Ok so I text him asking how he is and he responds and asks the same to me. Then after asking if he would like to maybe hang out sometime he says "if you're ok just being friends. Not to sound mean but I don't think I could date my sisters friend".
I was really confused because despite having strong feelings for him I have never mentioned dating him. I don't know him so well at all really, I have an attraction and know we might be able to get along but I don't know that I would date him since I don't know him too well. However it really took me off guard....like why would he even jump to that conclusion? I wasn't flirty at all with him, in fact I was purely friendly with him and trying to make him more comfortable so that maybe one day we could actually be friends and hang out. Certain my not flirty at all and never ci fessed that I thought he was attractive. I know I was texting him which may come across as being interested but to be fair he initially texted me a month and a half ago when I got out of a relationship. So anyway I respond saying I completely understand ad I'd love to just be friends and get to know him better cause I think we could get along. He says that sounds great. I then ask out of curiosity why he thought I wanted to be more than friends and he said he just wanted to clear the air. I'm so confused! Also I have an idea that he likes me cause he has done small things that make it seem that way. We used to both work in an airport (i worked in a coffee shop and he worked outside) and he would only come in when I worked, then one day a bunch of his coworker friends came in without him and started asking me if there was a chance I would ever be interested in him. They were saying how nice he is and how cool he is and stuff like that. Well this was while I was still in a relationship so I said I was with someone and that he was more like a brother to me. Even though I didn't see him that way I didn't want them to go back and give him mixed messages. He never came back in after that. His sister, my best friend, recently told me he confided in her that one of his friends said he wanted to talk to me cause he thought I was cute and this upset my cancer guy a lot and made him mad and he told his friend that he wouldn't allow that. So with these in mind I am so confused as to why he acts the way he does. Any insight at all would be so greatly appreciated!
Sorry I has to break it up into 2 parts Big Grin it was too long to post all at once! Haha thank you anyone for taking the time to read all of it and if it seems confusing please ask me anything you'd like!
Sounds like he doesn't want any pressure from you (or his sister) and I bet he sure as hell doesn't want you talking about him to your friend (his sister)

It's a bit too close to home, especially if/because he's got some weird aspects to his personality that he'd like to keep to himself.

You can ask him what he meant by what he said, just don't take his answer personally he's looking at the bigger picture. Why not hang out with him as a friend and get to know him better.
Posted by Piscesgirl90
Sorry I has to break it up into 2 parts Big Grin it was too long to post all at once! Haha thank you anyone for taking the time to read all of it and if it seems confusing please ask me anything you'd like!

Well, you kinda did ask him out...so he responded according to that assumption. He is just making sure you know he is not interested in that way because he already put you in the "undateable" category(his sister's friend) just in case, so you don't get hurt. he is being a gentleman rather then try to take advantage of the situation.
Wow you guys are fast! Thank you already for the suggestions and your thoughts. Shell shocker: I agree, I may have seemed too pushy, in my mind I just saw myself being a friendly and asking to hang out and become friends. I'm going to stay neutral and if he wants to hangout I would still love to get to know him better and be friends smile
Moon butter: I probably should have specified, the first text he sent me he asked if I wanted to hang out with him and some friends but they ended up changing plans so we didn't get to hang out. So I've reciprocated by asking since then if he wants to hang out. In my mind I assumed it was as a friendly hang out and not seeing each other in any sort of "date" like sense. He definitely is a very nice guy and a gentleman which is another reaosn as to why I'd like to be friends with him, seems like a very nice person to be around.
Any updates?
Not much, we have still talked and he seems to be opening up a bit more, now asking me how my evening is going and whatnot. Still no huge progressive changes so I'm just going with the flow and see where it lands...I may have just read the little signs wrong and thought he liked me but maybe he does just want to be friends. Does anybody know if cancer men typically take a long time to actually make the first move on their part? Like asking a girl to hang out or get together? Its so hard to tell because recently he was pretty flirty through text and I responded equally, no extra flirting but still some tone of flirting. Then the next day he seemed sort of "blah" when I texted asking him how his day was. I'm just confused what his intentions are I guess. I want to stop texting him and see if he initiates but its hard to stay away, I really like him and like texting at least once a day to see how his day is/talk about common interest.