Confused Cancer Woman

I'm a cancer woman (bi) and I met this cancer girl on Tinder while I was traveling and we clicked when we went out the first time (she asked me out). Though it was obvious we were both nervous the first few minutes, we talked about everything and the conversations just kept flowing afterwards. I think I made the aura too friendly though? Cause I don't normally date women randomly so I was overthinking the things I say. One of the first things she asked me was why I was using Tinder while I'm traveling and she was laughing. So we both laughed! (She laughed a lot at things I say/do) We talked about our past relationships and when our last one was. I mentioned that I am seeing a man but it was complicated, and she said that she has never dated a woman before. So it confused me why she was out with me. After our dinner, she asked if I wanted to grab more beer from the convenience store and sit by the river. It was very date-y, so I thought it was. I asked her if she used Tinder for dating or just to meet people and she said she uses it for dating.

Before our meeting ended, she asked if I had already booked my accommodations and if I wanted to sleepover. I said I did book already and I couldn't sleepover 'cause I need to head back to another area quite far away but I will be back in a few days for a show which was a part of my itinerary. She then said we should see each other again. Of course I said yes cause I was very attracted to her. She said if our next meeting didn't push through, she will come to where I am from. I wasn't flirty at all, but when I got home, I thought I should have been. So I was a bit more flirty when we were texting and I told her I can sleepover on the night we'll see each other again and she said of course and that she was the one who invited.

We were texting everyday (not continuously since she's at work)--she would suggest places to go and would ask me how my day went. Then suddenly the day before she cancelled with the sleepover cause she was meeting her parents who were also visiting early in the morning but she was still up for drinks. I still said yes to seeing her of course but there was a slight change of plans cause I met new friends and I just told her to join us since it would be more fun for my last night. I wasn't able to talk to her much that night, but we were able to steal a few minutes of alone time. It was a complete 360. She said maybe she wasn't clear in the beginning but she uses Tinder to meet travelers since she is a foreigner there (but she's been living there for 6 yrs). After that I didn't make a big deal about it, I just apologized and then we joined the group again. When it was time to go I said goodbye to everyone but she was updating me where she was and was asking for updates from me if I made it home. I said sorry again about misinterpreting things and she said it was okay and she wasn't clear before.

I know we're both cancers, but I can't seem to read her. My question is, did I really just misinterpret things? Or is she interested but confused about her sexuality? I sensed from her vibe that she takes her relationships very seriously. She mentioned she doesn't like LDR and in my head maybe she was overthinking things? Haha Sorry for the long post. I'm such a girl. I can't stop thinking about her and what could happen between us, cause I feel that we connected deeply.. And she also said that we did from our last messages before leaving. We still message each other. When I left she asked if I made it home and was just saying long thank you messages again and that we should keep in touch and shit like that. She said she will fly here to where I'm from but I'm not really sure how serious that is.

Do we cancers tend to do this when we date? Confuse people? Haha. Do you think I should express how I really feel or just leave things like this?

Posted by CaramelizedCoffee
Ok i reread your posy. I'm confused as well. I think she's confused

I know right? I'd ask her but I don't feel like getting rejected twice by the same person. Hahaha maybe ill wait for more signs from her.

She's bi-curious and that first invite to a sleepover was probably more a spontaneous act of (maybe Liquid) courage. There's a fairly big risk that either way this isn't going to end up being anything romantic or longer than a fling, so go into yourself and think if you want to put up with all these confusions for a fling and someone who most likely just wants to experiment. Because even IF experimentation would change something in how she identifies (bi or gay), chances are she's not going to end up sticking with you.

So please, just be conscious about those possibilities, and don't invest too much thoughts and feelings.

We do tend to overthink and put our energies to waste.

Posted by peo
She's bi-curious and that first invite to a sleepover was probably more a spontaneous act of (maybe Liquid) courage. There's a fairly big risk that either way this isn't going to end up being anything romantic or longer than a fling, so go into yourself and think if you want to put up with all these confusions for a fling and someone who most likely just wants to experiment. Because even IF experimentation would change something in how she identifies (bi or gay), chances are she's not going to end up sticking with you.

So please, just be conscious about those possibilities, and don't invest too much thoughts and feelings.

We do tend to overthink and put our energies to waste.

Well, my ex of 4 years started like this. But, yes, you're right. And this is different because we're not even in the same country. I needed to hear that. 🙂 Thank you. Going out of my mind the past few days 'cause I really can't stop thinking about her. Haha. Thank you 🙂

That's why I say it's a big risk, not necessarily an ultimate truth. However, under the circumstances (it being long distance and all) it's best to weigh all the chances. I know that I get in my head about things and then sometimes don't see the possibilities that are right in front of me.

Doesn't like ldr

Uses tinder for dates

Invited you to her room

Was turned off when you made the date into a group date with your new friends

Seems pretty obvious to me...she wanted to hook up. But the moment came and went under your oblivious nose.

Unless your in town again I wouldn't contact her.