Confused on what to do

My ex of 6 yrs and I were/are friends post break up for two years. We just didn't work. I'm a leo and I crave affection and he just wasn't affectionate and was boring as hell. I like the stability in him because he has always been there for me and I have always been there for him. We broke up three times in those six yrs first because he wouldn't change the second because he cheated and the final time because I felt he was being selfish on certain things. I hate a selfish person and I got fed up and was done. Every time I broke up with him it was always me reaching back out to him. He would ignore me for months and no response and even the time he cheated no apologies he just stop talking for a yr and then I contacted him and at that pointing got my apologies because he claimed he knew I was mad.

He has never been good with feelings and is very aloof. We'll the final break up went smother and we remained friends for those two years until I met someone I was serious with. At that time I told him I was seeing someone and we can't hang out anymore. He was kinda upset but we remained in contact. Now. Me and my ex has broken up and I seen my ex cancer and we talked. Something felt weird from his end to me. He told me there's a girl he is seeing and was dating before I told him I was seeing someone but he never told me but apparently he told her about me. Well he's still seeing her but their not official yet. So I said he should be with her because they seem compatible. I just wanted us to hang again if possible and he agreed.

Well I'm trying to sell my house and I asked if he would help me do things around it prepping for sale and I told him I would pay him he said cool. Problem is when I asked does he have a issue with us hanging again all of a sudden he said I'm not sure how I'm suppose to act after 3 break ups and he's going to stand his ground with me. Out of nowhere. I told him I don't want you as a bf I just want to make sure I'm not messing anything up with you. He's saying he's bracing himself for me to say we can't talk anymore. That pissed me off because I never stopped talking to him he has always gotten ghost on me and me reaching out to him. I've always been there for him and sometimes felt used cause I was always given to him and now he's being this way. When I expressed this to him he stopped talking to me and now it's been a week and no contact. I don't know how to precede with this if at all

You feel used yet you continue to feed the abuse he gives you by running back to him... are you a masochist? He's an ex for a reason. Keep the past in the past and move on... if you have any pride and dignity left in you. And I mean that in the best way possible 🙂.

Posted by LovesickCancer
I don't know how I would feel about someone referring to me as unaffectionate, boring as hell and selfish, why were you even with him?

He was a nice guy and was there whenever I needed him when we were together. At some point I thought settle because it could be worse and that was wrong. However at the time I was young and after a break up it was trying to move on and kept running into guys who weren't about anything. Which only made me miss the stability in him and convert backwards to have so done in my life. I never told him he was boring, but I affectionate yes, that was out major problem. He told me I had the problem because no one is that affectionate but me and in the end when we lived together it was more about his own gain than it being about us, which at that point I was done.

It was never my intentions to criticize and I usually didn't. When I did meet him a few weeks back i asked was he happy when we were together and he said he was very happy. The thing that confuses me is that he talks to his current friend/gf about me. I feel she knows to much but I can't control what he's told her. He told me she didn't understand why we're not still together after all that time and you(meaning him) had no issues with her (his words not mine). He told her idk either. He's never been good with emotion physically or emotionally. I know he's emotional but only because I know him. I walk on egg shells because of this and I'm sure our last talk sent him over the edge because he don't like someone pointing out his faults and I get that, but you can bottle up your feelings and then get mad because I don't understand why you are treating me a certain way.

He's always done this and seems to not make decision on his own. One time when we were together I seen his sister and she got smart out the mouth to me. I didn't say anything because I didn't want a major conflict to happen. What I did do was tell him when we were alone that you need to tell your sister to cool it with the comments because next time I will respond badly. He instantly got upset and told me I wast talking about his sister and didn't talk to me for 3 days until he ran it past someone else and that person saw what I was saying.

This is why we're not together but as friends it worked. Long term I couldn't be with someone who I can't have a emotional connection with. By no means have I told him anything beyond him not being affectionate because of his feelings. He was there when I needed and I was there when he needed. I just feel like he's mad because I moved on and even tho he did the same I guess he feels like the girl he's dealing with is cool with hearing about me I was suppose to do the same and hang with him, have him over, and talk daily all while having a bf. I don't agree nor have I talked to my current ex about my cancer ex....for what it's over, but don't say you'll be fine with things when you're not and then get mad because I won't accept your shit.

Posted by LovesickCancer
Either he's talking to her about you because he can't help himself, you do that when you're hang up on an ex, or he's talking to her because he's trying not to make the same mistakes (repeat same issues) that made a relationship he cared about end, and he's expressing his feelings about this to her, therefore he probably does really care about her or he doesn't want another heartbreak.

I think him disappearing not wanting to talk is him needing some space, not because of you but his own emotions (out of sight, out of mind). If he was angry, upset or ready to give up on your friendship for good, he will tell you straight up, clearly. It's hard to do but you know when you never want to see a person ever again, so I know he's not too upset right now.

Maybe I'll just leave him be. He knows how to contact me and I'm learning to stop trying to bring ppl out of their anger because I want to move past it. I need to let things just be. And maybe it was time for us to move on with life and be in each other lives right....nothing last forever. He was a constant in my life and it is what it is. Even though I don't understand it those are his issues with me and there's nothing I can do about it.

Lol for one at no point did I ever say let NOT be friends. I could have been selfish and told him lets not talk at all.or ignored him while I had a bf. but because I cared about HIS feelings I was honest. Maybe you didn't read what I first wrote but as I stated before we kept in contact on a regular basis. It's not liked called him out the blue and say...hey do me a favor for free even though I haven't talk to you in forever. I also gave him an option to not even help me move.. It was never a requirement it was a favor in which I offer to pay him, but I'm selfish.? Oh ok lol

What I don't like is people not saying how they feel considering I believe he and I are better than that. We're not 12 we are grown if he didn't like something or didn't want to do something he had all the opportunity to speak on that and he didn't