Did I scare my Cancer guy away?
This topic was created in the Cancer forum by conflictedcap on Tuesday, March 5, 2013 and has 9 replies.
I'm a 32 year old Capricorn female with a Scorpio moon. I recently met a 50 year old Cancer man with a Capricorn moon. There was an immediate chemistry between us. I didn't tell him that I felt it, but he described to me the exact things I was feeling, and he even remarked that we must have known each other in a past life. I have never encountered such an instant attraction before. He was very forward, very interested, and made it clear that he would pursue a long term relationship. He said it "just felt right."
The problem is that I was at the end of a very bad relationship when I met this Cancer. I was seeing a married man who used my guilt over the situation to manipulate me. He ended up continuously harassing me, and the Cancer man knew about it. The Cancer seemed very understanding and protective of me right away. He said he wasn't being dragged into my drama, but jumped in willingly. Before we had had a chance to actually go on a real date, he invited me over to his house (with my two children.) While I was there, the other guy showed up at my house and was texting me, demanding to know where I was. My Cancer guy asked me to stay the night, as it was late and my kids had already fallen asleep. I stayed, and inevitably, we slept together. I left the next morning before he awoke, but I left a note saying I enjoyed the night and to text me later. He did, and everything seemed fine. Neither of us mentioned the night before. But, he hasn't texted me first since.
I texted him late the next evening and asked if he was having second thoughts. He said no, but I was. I told him I was not. I do feel immense guilt for the affair, and I am hurt that the other guy is hurting, so I don't know if the Cancer guy can feel this and thinks it is doubt on my part. The situation with the other guy seems to be under control at this point. I ended up having to get the police involved, but he has now backed off. The Cancer guy doesn't know this.
I haven't heard from my Cancer guy in a few days. I've decided not to pursue him, but to see if he will pursue me. I know this drama and sleeping with him right away were not good ways to start this. With the chemistry we both felt be enough to bring him back?
The problem is that I was at the end of a very bad relationship when I met this Cancer. I was seeing a married man who used my guilt over the situation to manipulate me. He ended up continuously harassing me, and the Cancer man knew about it. The Cancer seemed very understanding and protective of me right away. He said he wasn't being dragged into my drama, but jumped in willingly. Before we had had a chance to actually go on a real date, he invited me over to his house (with my two children.) While I was there, the other guy showed up at my house and was texting me, demanding to know where I was. My Cancer guy asked me to stay the night, as it was late and my kids had already fallen asleep. I stayed, and inevitably, we slept together. I left the next morning before he awoke, but I left a note saying I enjoyed the night and to text me later. He did, and everything seemed fine. Neither of us mentioned the night before. But, he hasn't texted me first since.
I texted him late the next evening and asked if he was having second thoughts. He said no, but I was. I told him I was not. I do feel immense guilt for the affair, and I am hurt that the other guy is hurting, so I don't know if the Cancer guy can feel this and thinks it is doubt on my part. The situation with the other guy seems to be under control at this point. I ended up having to get the police involved, but he has now backed off. The Cancer guy doesn't know this.
I haven't heard from my Cancer guy in a few days. I've decided not to pursue him, but to see if he will pursue me. I know this drama and sleeping with him right away were not good ways to start this. With the chemistry we both felt be enough to bring him back?
This whole thing is crazy... I can't explain it. Physical attraction was not the catalyst.
"he described to me the exact things I was feeling, and he even remarked that we must have known each other in a past life. "
LOL! Old player line...I can't be mad at him though. PUA BS, he was aiming for the drawls and he got em too.
Honestly it's not a Cancer issue so much as it's you revealing too much of your baggage. It almost comes across as you needing to be rescued and of course a man will attempt to be a protector but maybe the job was just too big for him.
Next time try keeping that kind of baggage to yourself or just don't date until you're old relationship has completely dissolved.
Reach out to him, let him know the status of the situation which will leave the door open for him to initiate. If he never initiates then you can pretty much not count on him which is your queue to move on.
LOL! Old player line...I can't be mad at him though. PUA BS, he was aiming for the drawls and he got em too.
Honestly it's not a Cancer issue so much as it's you revealing too much of your baggage. It almost comes across as you needing to be rescued and of course a man will attempt to be a protector but maybe the job was just too big for him.
Next time try keeping that kind of baggage to yourself or just don't date until you're old relationship has completely dissolved.
Reach out to him, let him know the status of the situation which will leave the door open for him to initiate. If he never initiates then you can pretty much not count on him which is your queue to move on.
Thanks, Tiki33. I appreciate your honesty.
lol@CC
Lucky Senior to land a 30y/o.
Has this guy been married before or been with someone long term? like looong term?
I would be careful with an older guy whose never had a serious relationship.
Lucky Senior to land a 30y/o.
Has this guy been married before or been with someone long term? like looong term?
I would be careful with an older guy whose never had a serious relationship.
He's been married twice, the first for ten years, the second for eight. His last wife left him and their three year old daughter. She is now 16 and he's raised her as a single dad. We live in a small town, and have mutual friends. He generally has a good reputation as a good and responsible father, but nobody seems to know too much about him personally.
I just feel ridiculously stupid.
I just feel ridiculously stupid.
Not sure that it matters, but I didn't tell him about the other guy. He witnessed an incident in a public place, and approached me.
It doesn't matter.
Cancer men have a special ability to know the ins and outs of women.
They cause use this for good or evil.
I think he started off using it for good, trying to protect a woman, and help her out.
After that - well he's still a man....
Don't confuse his protective ways and manly desires for romantic interest.
Cancer men have a special ability to know the ins and outs of women.
They cause use this for good or evil.
I think he started off using it for good, trying to protect a woman, and help her out.
After that - well he's still a man....
Don't confuse his protective ways and manly desires for romantic interest.
We are definitely soft for damsels in distress but we don't particularly like easy women and well you did sleep with him to soon. Just ignore him, we usually come back even if its for giving closure. I'm really big on closure.
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