Do I have a reason to be creeped out?
This topic was created in the Cancer forum by xxixxi on Friday, June 28, 2013 and has 19 replies.
So I've an account on one online dating site. I joined the site years back because I was bored and had nothing better to do lol
Anyways...
I sometimes just freeze up my account because either I started seeing someone or I simply don't have time for it and have other interests/hobbies to follow. Sometimes the hibernation extended to from a few weeks and to even one or two years.
And there's one guy who constantly leaves comments on my threads. At first, I didn't mind it much, because, after all, I made threads in order to share my thoughts and to hear what others think.
But it's become a bit uneasy as the guy leaves comments and those are not short ones, they're usually quite lengthy.
I reply to some comments, not to every single one, because either I just don't have time for it or some comments don't require any sort of responses (it's different from ignoring, sometimes it's just so, like two people having a conversation but one says a line which is not meant for the other's response, but simply to end said conversation or to change a topic, etc.)
And this guy almost always leaves that type of comments. Like ninety percent of time. So the rest of the ten percent time, I do reply to his comments, then he writes up another lengthy one (consists of lots of movie references... and honestly I could care less about them, especially a whole paragraph is filled with them) and there I stop replying, because I just don't see a point to do so.
Also he comments soon after I create a thread. I don't know how he does this since I don't really give much attention as to how the site works - like if there's an option to find out to see if someone's online or logged on the site, etc. Because I don't do that, so I didn't care to find out the existence of such features. But I think there must be a feature like that of sort considering what this guy has been doing.
This has been going for good two years... or even three years, I don't know, because I really didn't care much to find out (I don't like wasting my time and energy on something doesn't really matter to me, I'm lazy lol)... up to now.
He has not said anything rude or outrageous. Actually his comments are quite polite. But they're certainly very self absorbed, like I sometimes think 'but why are you telling me stuff like this? I honestly couldn't care less.' Because I just don't know him (well.)
He has sent me a few messages but as far as I sensed (and if I sensed right), there was nothing ro
Anyways...
I sometimes just freeze up my account because either I started seeing someone or I simply don't have time for it and have other interests/hobbies to follow. Sometimes the hibernation extended to from a few weeks and to even one or two years.
And there's one guy who constantly leaves comments on my threads. At first, I didn't mind it much, because, after all, I made threads in order to share my thoughts and to hear what others think.
But it's become a bit uneasy as the guy leaves comments and those are not short ones, they're usually quite lengthy.
I reply to some comments, not to every single one, because either I just don't have time for it or some comments don't require any sort of responses (it's different from ignoring, sometimes it's just so, like two people having a conversation but one says a line which is not meant for the other's response, but simply to end said conversation or to change a topic, etc.)
And this guy almost always leaves that type of comments. Like ninety percent of time. So the rest of the ten percent time, I do reply to his comments, then he writes up another lengthy one (consists of lots of movie references... and honestly I could care less about them, especially a whole paragraph is filled with them) and there I stop replying, because I just don't see a point to do so.
Also he comments soon after I create a thread. I don't know how he does this since I don't really give much attention as to how the site works - like if there's an option to find out to see if someone's online or logged on the site, etc. Because I don't do that, so I didn't care to find out the existence of such features. But I think there must be a feature like that of sort considering what this guy has been doing.
This has been going for good two years... or even three years, I don't know, because I really didn't care much to find out (I don't like wasting my time and energy on something doesn't really matter to me, I'm lazy lol)... up to now.
He has not said anything rude or outrageous. Actually his comments are quite polite. But they're certainly very self absorbed, like I sometimes think 'but why are you telling me stuff like this? I honestly couldn't care less.' Because I just don't know him (well.)
He has sent me a few messages but as far as I sensed (and if I sensed right), there was nothing ro
mantic about them.
However, I do feel uneasy as of lately. It feels like being watched over, or even spied on (okay spied on is probably too much lol, but that's how I feel whenever I get alert emails that someone has left comments on my thread.)
The guy hasn't done anything bad but I just feel uncomfortable... or rather, as the title of my thread says, a bit creeped out.
A few hours ago I just created a new thread, saying that I'm bored therefore I'm going to bed! lol
And soon I got an alert email that the guy left a comment 'but it appears she's online. so she hasn't gone to bed yet.'
This actually gave me the major creeps. Well, maybe I shouldn't have created the thread and written there I was going to bed... but the comment? Why would you be concerned whether I'm signed on or not?
I don't know... I guess he's probably just trying to be friendly, but his approach...
His sign is cancer, and I don't think this really has something to do with one's sign, but then there's another one(another cancer man, I mean) who checks up on my profile regularly but never shoots messages. I don't mind this one much since it doesn't give me an uneasy feeling, that of being watched.
I don't know if there's an option to block the guy from viewing my threads or commenting on them... while I feel it's unfair if I do so without a good reason, because as I wrote above it's not like he has done something nasty.
Why do you think he is doing this?
And do I have a reason to be creeped out? Also, do I have to tell him how I feel or...?
However, I do feel uneasy as of lately. It feels like being watched over, or even spied on (okay spied on is probably too much lol, but that's how I feel whenever I get alert emails that someone has left comments on my thread.)
The guy hasn't done anything bad but I just feel uncomfortable... or rather, as the title of my thread says, a bit creeped out.
A few hours ago I just created a new thread, saying that I'm bored therefore I'm going to bed! lol
And soon I got an alert email that the guy left a comment 'but it appears she's online. so she hasn't gone to bed yet.'
This actually gave me the major creeps. Well, maybe I shouldn't have created the thread and written there I was going to bed... but the comment? Why would you be concerned whether I'm signed on or not?
I don't know... I guess he's probably just trying to be friendly, but his approach...
His sign is cancer, and I don't think this really has something to do with one's sign, but then there's another one(another cancer man, I mean) who checks up on my profile regularly but never shoots messages. I don't mind this one much since it doesn't give me an uneasy feeling, that of being watched.
I don't know if there's an option to block the guy from viewing my threads or commenting on them... while I feel it's unfair if I do so without a good reason, because as I wrote above it's not like he has done something nasty.
Why do you think he is doing this?
And do I have a reason to be creeped out? Also, do I have to tell him how I feel or...?
Lol no, he's not living close to me. I think I overreacted a bit... but that was how I really felt! lol
I don't want to block the guy as I think it'd be unfair. I think the guy's good at computers while I'm not. I don't think there's much I can do.
I might just not make threads any more for a while. lol
Thank you for your reply
I don't want to block the guy as I think it'd be unfair. I think the guy's good at computers while I'm not. I don't think there's much I can do.
I might just not make threads any more for a while. lol
Thank you for your reply
I'm not sure what your question is, what I do know is that like most girls you're on a dating site because you want attention. Let's face it, that's the main reason girls have accounts on dating sites. So you got the attention of a persistant, well-mannered Cancer boy, but since you don't want his attention for whatever reason, you label him as 'creepy'. Cry wolf, much?
You should ask him why he comments on things even when he knows you're not active. Or ask him why he's so interested in your threads.
>JustALeo
Yes, I also wondered if he's doing it someone else... if so, I guess he has really lots of time on his hands.
Yes, no one is going to know whether I blocked him or not, be it fair or unfair, unless either the guy or myself brought up the issue in day light. I don't know, I've sort of criterion when it comes to blocking someone, like if a guy is harassing me by sending rude, obscene messages or being hateful (misogynistic for no good reason, racist attitude, for example.) I've blocked a few people of those sorts so far... but as I wrote in the original post, this is a kind of a new, different thing - nothing overtly bad is done, but still gives me a feeling of uneasiness. So I'm not sure how I'd deal with this, but as I wrote in the reply to Stuckinpurgatory, I'd just stop making more threads for a while and see, for now.
I guess I need more data to figure out what this is... or simply just freeze up my account there, because I do that very often lol
Thank you for reply
Yes, I also wondered if he's doing it someone else... if so, I guess he has really lots of time on his hands.
Yes, no one is going to know whether I blocked him or not, be it fair or unfair, unless either the guy or myself brought up the issue in day light. I don't know, I've sort of criterion when it comes to blocking someone, like if a guy is harassing me by sending rude, obscene messages or being hateful (misogynistic for no good reason, racist attitude, for example.) I've blocked a few people of those sorts so far... but as I wrote in the original post, this is a kind of a new, different thing - nothing overtly bad is done, but still gives me a feeling of uneasiness. So I'm not sure how I'd deal with this, but as I wrote in the reply to Stuckinpurgatory, I'd just stop making more threads for a while and see, for now.
I guess I need more data to figure out what this is... or simply just freeze up my account there, because I do that very often lol
Thank you for reply
I don't know why most people think that if a girl is on a dating site she must be wanting attention so when it's given she needs not to complain.
I get enough attention in real life, I'm not super smoking hot lol (I wish I were lol) nor awesome brilliant, but I'm attractive and funny enough and some people dig me - I do not really need that sort of extra attention (ego boost or just attention from the opposite sex to feel better for whatever reason) from the cyber world. I'm already content with myself without that.
I admit, like most human beings, I like attention, but only certain kind and only to certain extent. If attention is given to me for good and legitimate reason, then why shying away? But there's certainly some other type of attention I do not crave nor do I seek, because there's no point in doing so. Some girls (and guys, too) might want & like any kind of attention they can get, but I don't.
I don't know, it was just the way I felt... as if being watched over my every single action, like whether I signed on or off the site... I've met a few guys who incessantly messaged me whenever I signed on the site and I had to tell them to stop or block some of them, because I was creeped out. Like just second after I signed on, messages came in... it was just like, as I wrote above, being checked on - and I don't like being watched over, checked on or spied on. It's creepy... I cannot help what and how I feel, because... it is just so, feelings.
This guy is giving me that sort of feeling now. But not in the manner described above with the other guys' cases. In the beginning I thought the guy was just being friendly, after about two years passed, I felt a bit off as he commented on every thing I put out there, I don't know, it just feels off... there used to be some other who left lots of comments but I never got a vibe that they were watching over me from them... and they weren't, because whenever I went hibernation mode and surfaced up, some of them came to greet me later and some others didn't, but this guy, he came right on after I de-froze my account, I did not even make a new thread about it or anything, but just right after I activated my account again, he left a comment on my old thread.
And last night he wrote 'she's still online.'
I don't know, I just feel a bit paranoid here. I even decided to stop making new threads there now...
I get enough attention in real life, I'm not super smoking hot lol (I wish I were lol) nor awesome brilliant, but I'm attractive and funny enough and some people dig me - I do not really need that sort of extra attention (ego boost or just attention from the opposite sex to feel better for whatever reason) from the cyber world. I'm already content with myself without that.
I admit, like most human beings, I like attention, but only certain kind and only to certain extent. If attention is given to me for good and legitimate reason, then why shying away? But there's certainly some other type of attention I do not crave nor do I seek, because there's no point in doing so. Some girls (and guys, too) might want & like any kind of attention they can get, but I don't.
I don't know, it was just the way I felt... as if being watched over my every single action, like whether I signed on or off the site... I've met a few guys who incessantly messaged me whenever I signed on the site and I had to tell them to stop or block some of them, because I was creeped out. Like just second after I signed on, messages came in... it was just like, as I wrote above, being checked on - and I don't like being watched over, checked on or spied on. It's creepy... I cannot help what and how I feel, because... it is just so, feelings.
This guy is giving me that sort of feeling now. But not in the manner described above with the other guys' cases. In the beginning I thought the guy was just being friendly, after about two years passed, I felt a bit off as he commented on every thing I put out there, I don't know, it just feels off... there used to be some other who left lots of comments but I never got a vibe that they were watching over me from them... and they weren't, because whenever I went hibernation mode and surfaced up, some of them came to greet me later and some others didn't, but this guy, he came right on after I de-froze my account, I did not even make a new thread about it or anything, but just right after I activated my account again, he left a comment on my old thread.
And last night he wrote 'she's still online.'
I don't know, I just feel a bit paranoid here. I even decided to stop making new threads there now...
Ah, wateryram80 That's what I'd do most of the time - being direct. Though I have a feeling that I won't get any direct answer or response from this guy nor will he go anywhere... well, I wrote 'a feeling', I may just give it a try, just ask, like you wrote lol
Lots of time, I work or figure things out as I process them and it seems I've done that in the above post lol
I wrote back to JustALeo that I'm not sure what this is about, but then in the next post I ended up dissecting the issue and came to a sort of a conclusion that I feel what I feel and it doesn't give out a healthy vibe.
I don't mind if he leaves comments when I'm not active, it's his right, that is not the main concern - but the thing bothers me is that he's checking on my every movements on that site and letting me know that he's doing it... like I'm being monitored... and I don't want that from anybody - not even from my boyfriend or someone I'm really into.
It's hard to explain, because as I wrote it's not like he's done something bad overtly... but I think sometimes we just feel something's off, you can't put a finger on, but you get unsettling feelings & cannot help being so.
That's what I'd do most of the time - being direct. Though I have a feeling that I won't get any direct answer or response from this guy nor will he go anywhere... well, I wrote 'a feeling', I may just give it a try, just ask, like you wrote lolLots of time, I work or figure things out as I process them and it seems I've done that in the above post lol
I wrote back to JustALeo that I'm not sure what this is about, but then in the next post I ended up dissecting the issue and came to a sort of a conclusion that I feel what I feel and it doesn't give out a healthy vibe.
I don't mind if he leaves comments when I'm not active, it's his right, that is not the main concern - but the thing bothers me is that he's checking on my every movements on that site and letting me know that he's doing it... like I'm being monitored... and I don't want that from anybody - not even from my boyfriend or someone I'm really into.
It's hard to explain, because as I wrote it's not like he's done something bad overtly... but I think sometimes we just feel something's off, you can't put a finger on, but you get unsettling feelings & cannot help being so.
Lol you're right robyn808. It seems now I've have too much free time in my hands. Well, right off to the site to find out if there's a way to stop informing someone who faved me of my recent activities lol
Be right back lol
Be right back lol
Oh f*** it. I went to the site and checked if there's the option and it didn't seem so.
So I started changing the status of my threads from public to private (I'm such a tech loser lol)... but then there's like, at least, more than ten pages and I'm not going to make a change to all of them - there's no way I can do it despite the fact that now I've much free time - it's a boring job to just click the same buttons again and again and I feel stupid like 'why am I doing this? why do I have to feel uncomfortable with making new threads on my own page?'
I'll just stop making new threads for now and shoot an email to the site staff asking if there's some option they can offer, while if the guy comes back and lets me know that he's monitoring me, then I straight up ask him what his intention is.
Thank you all for putting time replying
So I started changing the status of my threads from public to private (I'm such a tech loser lol)... but then there's like, at least, more than ten pages and I'm not going to make a change to all of them - there's no way I can do it despite the fact that now I've much free time - it's a boring job to just click the same buttons again and again and I feel stupid like 'why am I doing this? why do I have to feel uncomfortable with making new threads on my own page?'
I'll just stop making new threads for now and shoot an email to the site staff asking if there's some option they can offer, while if the guy comes back and lets me know that he's monitoring me, then I straight up ask him what his intention is.
Thank you all for putting time replying
No, he does not. Why? :O
She writes such long posts and cant respond to long ones....tsk tsk smh.
Krebbsmann, if you mean the guy's long comments by the long ones, then my answer is: I don't want to and I can't, as his comments are like monologue as I wrote first up there and with his behaviour (constantly checking on up me), I've a feeling that if I keep responding it'll probably make him follow my every another movements more.
If you're on a dating site, you don't need to come here for attention. Just be patient, you'll get replies.
How many times do I have to say I am not looking for attention? I am getting enough already in real life, I repeat. Why it must be so hard to just accept things as they are... as I wrote.
And if, (really if) I were seeking it, that doesn't mean that I cannot say which and other which sort of attention I do not from certain people. Like, I am fine with other users' comment on said site but not that guy's, because it makes me feel uneasy.
And no, I am not looking for it nor in need of it. Really lol
Anyways, I emailed the site staff a few hours ago and hopefully get a reply - then I would be able to which step I need to follow after that.
Thank you all for your input. Appreciated
And if, (really if) I were seeking it, that doesn't mean that I cannot say which and other which sort of attention I do not from certain people. Like, I am fine with other users' comment on said site but not that guy's, because it makes me feel uneasy.
And no, I am not looking for it nor in need of it. Really lol
Anyways, I emailed the site staff a few hours ago and hopefully get a reply - then I would be able to which step I need to follow after that.
Thank you all for your input. Appreciated
Do not want* lol
Look at all those moody Crabs coming out from underneath their rocks...
Say xxixxi, why don't you come over to the Leo board instead, we are very friendly
Say xxixxi, why don't you come over to the Leo board instead, we are very friendly
She wants attention herself, she doesn't want to give it. 
I don't mind. I'll shower her with affection... I mean attention!
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