Do Married Cancers Ever Leave?
This topic was created in the Cancer forum by Professor Aries on Thursday, July 19, 2007 and has 110 replies.
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I know the textbook answer is: "No!"
But the thing is, I've been having this ongoing flirtation with a married Cancer Man I met thru work that's been going on for 9 months. The attraction was instantaneous, and me being the Aries I am, I hit on him. He rebuffed me in the nicest way and bought me drinks. Since then, we email each other periodically and get together socially at conventions. The second time we met up, he and I had a very long heat-to-heat about the state of our respective marriages. He directly admitted to being attracted to me, but said he "didn't think we should be together so long as we were with other people." He indicated that things were very rocky in his marriage, and that if he had an affair it would certainly end it, but that if he were getting divorced he wanted to make sure he tried everything to keep the marriage together. This was back in January.
My husband and I recently separated, and I've let this Cancer know about it over email. There's no way I would contact him in person; it seems too aggressive for a mature Aries like myself whose been rebuffed once. Mr. Cancer conveyed his deep felt sympathies to me and has been willing to listen to me vent about my failed marriage at length over email. Thing is, he hasn't shared anything else about his own situation since that night in January, so I have no idea where things stand. All I know is we do seem to continue keeping in touch with each rather than letting the connection die.
Anyone care to guess what's going on here? BTW, there are no children involved on either side, so there's not that glue in either relationship.
But the thing is, I've been having this ongoing flirtation with a married Cancer Man I met thru work that's been going on for 9 months. The attraction was instantaneous, and me being the Aries I am, I hit on him. He rebuffed me in the nicest way and bought me drinks. Since then, we email each other periodically and get together socially at conventions. The second time we met up, he and I had a very long heat-to-heat about the state of our respective marriages. He directly admitted to being attracted to me, but said he "didn't think we should be together so long as we were with other people." He indicated that things were very rocky in his marriage, and that if he had an affair it would certainly end it, but that if he were getting divorced he wanted to make sure he tried everything to keep the marriage together. This was back in January.
My husband and I recently separated, and I've let this Cancer know about it over email. There's no way I would contact him in person; it seems too aggressive for a mature Aries like myself whose been rebuffed once. Mr. Cancer conveyed his deep felt sympathies to me and has been willing to listen to me vent about my failed marriage at length over email. Thing is, he hasn't shared anything else about his own situation since that night in January, so I have no idea where things stand. All I know is we do seem to continue keeping in touch with each rather than letting the connection die.
Anyone care to guess what's going on here? BTW, there are no children involved on either side, so there's not that glue in either relationship.
Freudian slip -- that should read "heart-to-heart", not "heat-to-heat." Heh.
well I don't have any advice but I really can't stand these types of situations
you said "typical aries"....how true.... you guys don't let anything stop you - not even a marriage. I would not get my hopes up if I were you - at least not if you're seriously interested in dating this man - considering the circumstances under which you met and you've pursued him, and the fact that you have seperated with your husband - the cancer may be thinking that you don't value relationships - including marriage. And he would not SERIOUSLY date someone he didn't feel had respect for relationships - if he is a typical cancer. If you're just looking for some fun - a rebound - then go for it [if he gets a divorce] that may be all you get.
Marriage is a joke.. something done more often that not for financial reasons..
I agree completely with Angel. Wasnt there another post similar to this one, yesterday??
Yea no matter what that Cancer man tells YOU he is pretty much invested in his marriage. It will take hell and high water to make him leave. Once a Cancer commits hes attached to the woman, this is part of the appeal of the Cancer man, to many woman.
Long story short...I hate to be blunt but dont count on him leaving his wife for you. You have put yourself in a somewhat awkard/bad situation. Like I told the other girl that wrote a post similar, by pursuing him you are not only showing him that you do not have respect for marriage, but you are also showing him that you are willing to play second fiddle to his WIFE. And both scenarios are not good. See....Cancer men are the few men who actually still value wholesome, family oriented woman. Needless to say, pursuing a married man does not look too good, especially to man who does not know you really well. Unless, al lyou want is a casual fling.
Its up to you...but I would advice against it for yourself, for him and for his wife. Karma is a b****!
Yea no matter what that Cancer man tells YOU he is pretty much invested in his marriage. It will take hell and high water to make him leave. Once a Cancer commits hes attached to the woman, this is part of the appeal of the Cancer man, to many woman.
Long story short...I hate to be blunt but dont count on him leaving his wife for you. You have put yourself in a somewhat awkard/bad situation. Like I told the other girl that wrote a post similar, by pursuing him you are not only showing him that you do not have respect for marriage, but you are also showing him that you are willing to play second fiddle to his WIFE. And both scenarios are not good. See....Cancer men are the few men who actually still value wholesome, family oriented woman. Needless to say, pursuing a married man does not look too good, especially to man who does not know you really well. Unless, al lyou want is a casual fling.
Its up to you...but I would advice against it for yourself, for him and for his wife. Karma is a b****!
Sorry for all the typos....
will yall stop persuing Cancers that are already in a relationship? I think we should boycot posts like this and let them figure it out on themselves.
I think what he said in January might have been what he meant....why do people not believe that these Cancer men mean what they say? If he was going to leave he might have expressed a need or desire to....
and why does it take children for there to be glue....wow....maybe you should back up and check out your idea of marriage.
Fatale dear, get back to me when you've been married 9 years, then let me know if your ideas of marriage are so idealistic. Maturity is a bitch.
Monogamy too -- No matter how much you love someone.
I don't mean to insult anyone - but this really is typical of aries..... they don't care about who they might be hurting as long as they get what THEY want..... and this really seems to be a problem with relationships - an aries woman meets a man in a relationship or an aries man meets a woman in a relationship....and they HAVE to have them..... they just won't settle for not being number one - even if they don't really want anything serious. "I don't want you - but I want you to want me"
I went through this with my last boyfriend - his ex was an aries who left him and when she realized he was moving on wouldn't leave him alone - then he starts a new job and this little aries.....cookiemonster..... decides she doesn't care if he has a girlfriend, she HAS to have him,.... eventually she won out and then wouldn't even let him remain friends with me - which was really hard on me ...... they started getting bored with each other and he got back in touch with me - when she found out she raised hell.... when we stopped talking to each other she broke up with him! and an aries guy pulled this on me in high school..... I'm sorry but aries people are really selfish.....
I went through this with my last boyfriend - his ex was an aries who left him and when she realized he was moving on wouldn't leave him alone - then he starts a new job and this little aries.....cookiemonster..... decides she doesn't care if he has a girlfriend, she HAS to have him,.... eventually she won out and then wouldn't even let him remain friends with me - which was really hard on me ...... they started getting bored with each other and he got back in touch with me - when she found out she raised hell.... when we stopped talking to each other she broke up with him! and an aries guy pulled this on me in high school..... I'm sorry but aries people are really selfish.....
I wouldn't worry about it sweet - you're a taurus so of course your ideas about marriage are "idealistic" - but so is cancer's - so you're in the right relationship.
U R really looking desperate trying 2 pursue this Cancer male. Cancer men R traditionalist, and he can endure a bitter disasterous relationship. Cancer men just don't LEAVE! His wife has 2 B willing 2 do that. And Cancer men don't play seconds. And they WON'T let the woman of their interest B second, and that must mean his wife has his heart. A man will tell U ANYTHING! If U R falling 4 all the things he is telling U, he won't want U anyways. Cancer men love mentally intelligent women. I am not downing, but U don't appear 2 have mental intellect. I would have had him guessing just as much about me and MY relationship, as much as he had me guessing about his. Men love mystery.
You all do realize you cannot generalize based on sun signs. My Cancer friend, for instance, has Venus in Leo, which means he not only hates all the domestic type females Cancers are supposed to love, he has an ego as big as mine and is nearly as adventurous in romantic matters. And while you can call me a typical Aries bitch, I have a grand earth trine, which makes me very practical in emotional matters, and Scorpio rising which makes me sting presumptious young girls with no life experience.
As for Krobe: learn grammatical English, or didn't they get to that before you dropped out of school?
Don't belittle a PhD.
I should know better than to kill time on lists like this. I think I'll go back to resuming my life now.
Don't belittle a PhD.
I should know better than to kill time on lists like this. I think I'll go back to resuming my life now.
no one called you a bitch and you don't know near enough about us to say we are "young presumptuous girls with no life experience"
and you will not be stinging anyone here.
and you will not be stinging anyone here.
oh please....these days you can get a phd out of a box of cracker jacks......
WOW!
Okay Aries - Forget about the doggone SUN SIGN then! What about morals and if dont give a care about morals and marriage then just leave them alone for his wife's sake. How selfish is it to go after a man and interfere with the relationshp, hurt his wife (who is an innocent bystander) for your own selfish needs.
Why cant you just find a man of your OWN. Dont you get it!?!?! Why would you want to be the back up singer to his wife anyway? Why would you want to have a man who has to sneak around just to see you or to talk to you? Dont you as a "mature aries" want a man that you can have a open and mature relationship with, that is not based on lies, deceit and ADULTURY!
What do you think this man will think of you. What man will take a woman serious who is willing to compromise her own integrity as a woman and dispect herself to that degree? Come one wake up! You have to know deep down inside that this is wrong on some many levels and for so many different reasons!
Thats it Im' done....if there is one thing I CANNOT stand is a home wrecker!
Okay Aries - Forget about the doggone SUN SIGN then! What about morals and if dont give a care about morals and marriage then just leave them alone for his wife's sake. How selfish is it to go after a man and interfere with the relationshp, hurt his wife (who is an innocent bystander) for your own selfish needs.
Why cant you just find a man of your OWN. Dont you get it!?!?! Why would you want to be the back up singer to his wife anyway? Why would you want to have a man who has to sneak around just to see you or to talk to you? Dont you as a "mature aries" want a man that you can have a open and mature relationship with, that is not based on lies, deceit and ADULTURY!
What do you think this man will think of you. What man will take a woman serious who is willing to compromise her own integrity as a woman and dispect herself to that degree? Come one wake up! You have to know deep down inside that this is wrong on some many levels and for so many different reasons!
Thats it Im' done....if there is one thing I CANNOT stand is a home wrecker!
she doesn't care if she hurts his wife - or him, as long as she gets what SHE wants.
And I would hardly call her mature......
And I would hardly call her mature......
lol this was fun[ny].
It always amazes me how people figure they'll get 'objective comments' based on the clo0ak of cyber anonymity.
we're still humans on a keyboard...some with more moral than others....
we're still humans on a keyboard...some with more moral than others....
Im sorry but the Professor has SERIOUS problems! It amazes me how some people can be so selfish and inconsiderate.
Dang she ran Sweet away...Sweet dont let her run you off...I know she prob made you mad. LOL. Come back!
Dang she ran Sweet away...Sweet dont let her run you off...I know she prob made you mad. LOL. Come back!
maianm - you don't live in santa rosa do you??
Angel - No I live in Burbank, CA its about 15-20 mins North of Los Angeles. Why what's up.
because I'm listening to the radio and this girl comes on and the DJ is arguing with the guy who answers the phone about spelling her name wrong - spelling maia - and she said no it was right - and then he asked how old she was and she said she was 25 and I was like "no..... that would just be too weird...."
why is that not fair to say? every single aries I know [and I know ALOT ] is extremely selfish - I'd be happy to be proven wrong - I'll admit I've met a couple at my new job who seem very nice, but there are exceptions to every rule - besides I don't know them well enough to say they ARE exceptions.
why is that not fair to say? every single aries I know [and I know ALOT ] is extremely selfish - I'd be happy to be proven wrong - I'll admit I've met a couple at my new job who seem very nice, but there are exceptions to every rule - besides I don't know them well enough to say they ARE exceptions.
quite true - I'll point out the negative characteristics in another sign - but I'm also the first to admit that as a bull I'm the most stubborn person you'll ever meet and that even though I may be slow to anger, once I've been pushed....WATCH OUT !! I'm also perfectly confortable admitting I'm jeaous and possessive. So it's not like I think everyone else is bad and taurus and cancer are the only good signs..... I've said MANY times that there is no good and bad - just compatible and incomaptible.....
I JUST said there are exceptions to every rule - and I didn't say that ALL aries are selfish - I said ALL the aries I KNOW are selfish - would it make you feel more comfortable if I said most aries?
notso - the difference is I won't sit here and insist that "NO - EVERY aries is like that !" I'll admit I am making a generalization based on MY experience - a generalization which the OP happens to fit like a glove......
if that's how you would like to interpret what I've said then you're free to do so - I didn't "throw" anything in to cover anything.....and the reason people say there are exceptions to every rule is because there are. rules are not as hard and fast as people imply - they tend to be generalizations that cover the MAJORITY.
and as far as my comment about men not all being the same - I ALSO said that may be a small amount - but that you should listen to your man because he may be one of them.
and as far as my comment about men not all being the same - I ALSO said that may be a small amount - but that you should listen to your man because he may be one of them.
yes all aries are differenet - but that doesn't mean they don't share ANY common threads....
//Who needs love then? what a horrible view.//
Love and marriage are 2 different things. All i'm saying is that in this day and age.. marriage isn't all it's cracked up to be.. people don't value the same things they did 50 years ago.
Love and marriage are 2 different things. All i'm saying is that in this day and age.. marriage isn't all it's cracked up to be.. people don't value the same things they did 50 years ago.
some of us do SRG
and your comments suggest that you are one who DOES value relationships and marriage since you are disgusted by the fact that a lot of people don't
As for Krobe: learn grammatical English, or didn't they get to that before you dropped out of school?
Don't belittle a PhD.
I should know better than to kill time on lists like this. I think I'll go back to resuming my life now.
I have graduated of of college and I probably make more money than U do with your PHD. I don't owe U or anyone else on this board what U want. Not even a Cancer man. I must have hit U with the truth. U R after a married man, and he is not going 2 leave his wife for U. Don't change the subject and make it about how I write on the boards. U R trying 2 generalize another subject. U just need 2 quit being desperate and CHEAP appearing 2 a married man in my own personal opinion. NO signs don't matter, but just like everyone else is saying U got a divorce hoping that he will B with U. For the wrong reasons. He will probably not divorce his wife for U, because he knows U want him. It does not matter how many PHD's U have. U just appear Cheap in your outlook on marriage and married men. U make me NEVER want 2 get married. Now, I can talk about dating several non sexual men, because I am not married. Your Cancer man is, and how will U expect him 2 trust U when U were talking to him during your marriage.
U should not have posted if U don't want honest opinions. I said, it once and I will say it again, Cancer men don't play seconds, and they don't let their love interest play seconds.
I have a degree 2, but the subject is not about a degree. I don't owe U proper english, I don't care who U R. Don't read my advice if U don't like it. I don't have Cancer man problems. Y, because I am not selfish and self centered with my love.
Don't belittle a PhD.
I should know better than to kill time on lists like this. I think I'll go back to resuming my life now.
I have graduated of of college and I probably make more money than U do with your PHD. I don't owe U or anyone else on this board what U want. Not even a Cancer man. I must have hit U with the truth. U R after a married man, and he is not going 2 leave his wife for U. Don't change the subject and make it about how I write on the boards. U R trying 2 generalize another subject. U just need 2 quit being desperate and CHEAP appearing 2 a married man in my own personal opinion. NO signs don't matter, but just like everyone else is saying U got a divorce hoping that he will B with U. For the wrong reasons. He will probably not divorce his wife for U, because he knows U want him. It does not matter how many PHD's U have. U just appear Cheap in your outlook on marriage and married men. U make me NEVER want 2 get married. Now, I can talk about dating several non sexual men, because I am not married. Your Cancer man is, and how will U expect him 2 trust U when U were talking to him during your marriage.
U should not have posted if U don't want honest opinions. I said, it once and I will say it again, Cancer men don't play seconds, and they don't let their love interest play seconds.
I have a degree 2, but the subject is not about a degree. I don't owe U proper english, I don't care who U R. Don't read my advice if U don't like it. I don't have Cancer man problems. Y, because I am not selfish and self centered with my love.
no moon eyes - SRG
//and your comments suggest that you are one who DOES value relationships and marriage since you are disgusted by the fact that a lot of people don't//
Right.. I doubt if most people today know the meaning of the word.. like I said before, I think people get married for convenience..
Right.. I doubt if most people today know the meaning of the word.. like I said before, I think people get married for convenience..
I think you are probably right - a lot of people just feel they are at an age wherte they SHOULD get married so they do - I am not willing to settle for someone who is less than my dream - even in a relationship. I won't waste my time on someone I know I won't be with for a long time.
Let me ask you guys this: what kind of "marriage" is it if the two people sleep in separate rooms?
Exactly.. what you got there is a roomate..
Roommate..
prejudices? don't even start that with me.....
I've read that a lot of people are sleeping in seperate rooms because they can't sleep....snoring etc..... personally I don't care NOTHING would keep me from sleeping in my husbands arms every night.
I think all that "living our own lives and doing our thing" stuff is weird....... I mean to me the idea of marriage is that this is the person you want to spend your life with and SHARE your life with..... that doesn't have to mean spending every waking moment together - and I have no problem with "guy's night out" kind of stuff..... but these days people even take seperate vacations ! it's just weird.....
If I were prejudiced I would say that all aries are selfish so I won't give them a chance - I give everyone a chance regardless of what my previous experiences may have been.
which I don't do - as I said I give everyone a chance - or perhaps I should have said "clean slate" - you may find it hard to believe but I honestly don't treat anyone with prejudice - no matter what my past experiences or general opinions - each person I meet comes into my life as a blank canvas, I may be aware that they are some "type" and that I've had certain experiences with that "type" but I never assume that THEY as an individual will be that way. I take a "this is what I know I know of this "type" of person - let's what THIS person is like" attitude - every new person I meet is a new opportunity to form a new opinion.
Ldy....Forget this board let's talk real life. My cousin is engaged to a Cancer and I have two friends who are in relationships with them. All three woman are extremely happy. Yes, their mates are imperfect, just like any other man. But they are very loyal to them. But that is beside the point. I think what everyone was trying to point out to the Professor is that the Cancer man is not going to LEAVE his WIFE for HER. Just like the guys who have FLIRTED with you would probably not LEAVE there mates for YOU. Simple as that.
Furthermore, why are woman so hard up for a man that they are willing to play seconds.
"If you wanna have fun and you don't mind him being married go for it"
I dont mean to sound blunt or rude. But NO! She should NOT GO FOR IT! This is so wrong and selfish! The man is a married man. Lord Jesus. Has the whole world lost their minds! Why hurt his wife for a few rolls in the hey. Does that sounbd fair or right!?!?! LOL. I dont understand why woman just cant simply get their own men! Just get a man of your OWN and be done with it. Why chase after someone else's. I just dont understand this selfish mentality.
Furthermore, why are woman so hard up for a man that they are willing to play seconds.
"If you wanna have fun and you don't mind him being married go for it"
I dont mean to sound blunt or rude. But NO! She should NOT GO FOR IT! This is so wrong and selfish! The man is a married man. Lord Jesus. Has the whole world lost their minds! Why hurt his wife for a few rolls in the hey. Does that sounbd fair or right!?!?! LOL. I dont understand why woman just cant simply get their own men! Just get a man of your OWN and be done with it. Why chase after someone else's. I just dont understand this selfish mentality.
ummm just because you make a commitment to something a find out its hard work doesn't mean you didnt still make a commitment....putting off instant gratification for long time rewards is maturity...so maybe maturity is the cookiemonster that eluded you...? Just because your ideal of marriage was a paper thin glass bottom boat that sank doesnt mean you should be looking for the demise of someone elses. I'm glad the Cancer man is willing to stay by his wife, despite his flirtations and try to make it work. I don't think that even if he did leave her you're deserving of someone with that much consideration. And maybe if that Ph.d that makes your grammar so wonderful was so great you could 1)have kept your own husband or 2)got the cancer you're on the board asking about even though "signs dont matter". Don't try to insult the people that are trying to give you advice...especially when its solicited. If you want a bunch of people to agree with you then find a "I have no respect for the institution of marriage I want a married man" community.
Amen sista' Sweet!!!! Thats my class mate!!! LOL. 
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