Double standard?
This topic was created in the Cancer forum by Jkats on Wednesday, March 23, 2016 and has 12 replies.
I'm posting my question in here specifically because there seems to be many stories of Cancerians, particularly Cancer men who do the disappearing act. Idk what thread it was, but the topic was of how even though you love someone (SO, friends, family), that you don't like to be around them too much/communicate. It seemed like the majority of responders were women agreeing with the OP. Now my question is, why is it ok if a woman does this, but when a man does it, they are immediately called a douche or player? My crab used to do this A LOT, but he's gotten so much better. He did ghost on me last week (not completely), and I thought he was playing games, but it turned out that he was just really stressed out. So can anybody explain why the double standard, and is it only me that notices this?
I think everyone has the right to walk away, if anyone does it right after sex then that is when the labels come out. Otherwise, it seems presumptuous to expect too much.
Posted by rabidtalker
I think everyone has the right to walk away, if anyone does it right after sex then that is when the labels come out. Otherwise, it seems presumptuous to expect too much.
Very true! But these people were talking about ones they love. Just don't know why it's ok for women to do it but not men, whether it be following sex or not, the labels still exist.
Posted by Arielle83
Ya I know. Women hate so easily when they aren't validated.
Everyone needs a break from energies now and then.
I agree!!! It WOULD be nice though, if the ones who do this could communicate their need for space lol!
Posted by Arielle83Posted by JkatsPosted by Arielle83
Ya I know. Women hate so easily when they aren't validated.
Everyone needs a break from energies now and then.
I agree!!! It WOULD be nice though, if the ones who do this could communicate their need for space lol!
They can't if their actions are motivated by "feelings". It's a "go with the flow" existence. You've just got to accept that's how they exist.click to expand
I really am trying! A question for you, though your answer may differ from a Cancer male. What things would make you need some space?
Posted by Arielle83
Being around too many ppl.
Over worked.
Stressed.
Being needed by everyone to the point I have no time for me.
I have to agree with this. I've tried letting significant others know when I need space and many times they come back with so many questions "whats wrong" "try this" "do that" All that does it cause more stress. Every once in a while a little catching up with oneself for a bit is the only way to come out of it, the best response I ever got from someone was "ok take your time, and let me know when your ready, btw I bought ingredients, were making pizza this weekend
"Posted by Arielle83Posted by MoonyEYES88Posted by Arielle83
Being around too many ppl.
Over worked.
Stressed.
Being needed by everyone to the point I have no time for me.
I have to agree with this. I've tried letting significant others know when I need space and many times they come back with so many questions "whats wrong" "try this" "do that" All that does it cause more stress. Every once in a while a little catching up with oneself for a bit is the only way to come out of it, the best response I ever got from someone was "ok take your time, and let me know when your ready, btw I bought ingredients, were making pizza this weekend
See that shit annoys me. If I'm asking for time or space, it's because I've been stretched to the maximum. I find it so self serving when the other person acts pouty or rejected just because I want "me" time.
I have to hide in the spare room sometimes, just to read, because my husband constantly needs my attention. Even then he knocks on the door every ten minutes. It's fucking irritating.
Since he ignores my need for quiet time, I've now taken off in my car to read at the beach.
click to expand
Haha.. Hilarious! What sign is your hubby?
@Arielle83
My closest family members are Scorps; they are unbelievable sometimes!!! In a "are you really being serious right now" sort of way... Lol
My closest family members are Scorps; they are unbelievable sometimes!!! In a "are you really being serious right now" sort of way... Lol
Posted by Arielle83
Being around too many ppl.
Over worked.
Stressed.
Being needed by everyone to the point I have no time for me.
Thank you
Posted by MoonyEYES88Posted by Arielle83
Being around too many ppl.
Over worked.
Stressed.
Being needed by everyone to the point I have no time for me.
I have to agree with this. I've tried letting significant others know when I need space and many times they come back with so many questions "whats wrong" "try this" "do that" All that does it cause more stress. Every once in a while a little catching up with oneself for a bit is the only way to come out of it, the best response I ever got from someone was "ok take your time, and let me know when your ready, btw I bought ingredients, were making pizza this weekendclick to expand
Posted by JkatsPosted by MoonyEYES88Posted by Arielle83
Being around too many ppl.
Over worked.
Stressed.
Being needed by everyone to the point I have no time for me.
I have to agree with this. I've tried letting significant others know when I need space and many times they come back with so many questions "whats wrong" "try this" "do that" All that does it cause more stress. Every once in a while a little catching up with oneself for a bit is the only way to come out of it, the best response I ever got from someone was "ok take your time, and let me know when your ready, btw I bought ingredients, were making pizza this weekendclick to expand
Posted by Arielle83Posted by MoonyEYES88Posted by Arielle83
Being around too many ppl.
Over worked.
Stressed.
Being needed by everyone to the point I have no time for me.
I have to agree with this. I've tried letting significant others know when I need space and many times they come back with so many questions "whats wrong" "try this" "do that" All that does it cause more stress. Every once in a while a little catching up with oneself for a bit is the only way to come out of it, the best response I ever got from someone was "ok take your time, and let me know when your ready, btw I bought ingredients, were making pizza this weekend
See that shit annoys me. If I'm asking for time or space, it's because I've been stretched to the maximum. I find it so self serving when the other person acts pouty or rejected just because I want "me" time.
I have to hide in the spare room sometimes, just to read, because my husband constantly needs my attention. Even then he knocks on the door every ten minutes. It's fucking irritating.
Since he ignores my need for quiet time, I've now taken off in my car to read at the beach.
click to expand
Same here, my gemini sister drives me insane wanting to know why and keeps checking up, and I often snap as I just want alone time and some peace. Once my front door is closed, it's closed!
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